Are couples who share a lot on social media really THAT happy?

[GoldenGirl75]

I was just curious to see if anyone had any input on this. Do you think that couples (or one person in the relationship) who post a lot about their relationship (i.e. birthday posts gushing about their significant others, happy 6 months, 1 year, 2 year anniversaries, post a lot of IG stories about their significant other that are TMI, filming their significant other when they aren't looking) seem to feel they have to prove something and are not as happy as they portray themselves to be? VS couples who are generally more private and rarely post each other but you know that in person they are a good match and a really strong couple?

From my experience, I noticed that couples I know personally who are fairly strong in their connection and relationships don't really post that much on social media about each other while there are other couples that I know who post a lot on social media about their relationship but they aren't necessarily as happy as you think. When they break up...its "seems" like a surprise bc it looked so perfect on social media...but in reality it wasn't.

Does anyone have any personal experience with this or have noticed similarities? Or do you feel like couples who post a lot about each other or when one person posts a lot about their relationship...they are really happy as they portray themselves to be?

[Fairydust123]

No.

Social Media is totally fake. Why do you think couples in the 20's-50's ACTUALLY LASTED AND WERE IN LOVE. Social media is place people post to get validation from others and its stupid. I learned the hard way. Keepbyour relationship more private.

[tshine17]

No.

Social Media is totally fake. Why do you think couples in the 20's-50's ACTUALLY LASTED AND WERE IN LOVE. Social media is place people post to get validation from others and its stupid. I learned the hard way. Keepbyour relationship more private.

Or there were a slew of socioeconomic factors that correlate with a lower divorce rate. But I agree. Content people, period, don’t feel the need to advertise. It’s demonstrated by action, not words.

[Fairydust123]

Agree with you!

However also looking at stats SM causes more divorces now through lust, cybersex, cheating, and a rise in further addiction!
(Not trying to get into that) im just saying SM is dangerous for couples who need validation from others!

[GoldenGirl75]

Thanks guys for the input! Yeah it tends to get on my nerves when I see a lot of those types of posts...not bc I don't like seeing "in love" or "happy" couples but just that it comes off as attention seeking to me or desperation rather than actual happiness.

I know of one girl who would post multiple PDA pictures of her and her bf and overshare her relationship on stories...example she was at the gym with him and she was standing about 10 ft away from him. When he wasn't looking she took a video of him lifting weights and zoomed in and wrote "look at that cutie over there"  no one cares lol

[Love2lovenj]

Personally i never understood why people who are truly happy and secure in their relationship have to plaster it all over the internet.  Lmao honestly for me its like having a fairy tale reading.  🤪

[Sparkle002]

Dang - yall already know I overshare my personal stories here...I cant wait until I can post about the relationship I love on social media!!
I had 2 boyfriends in the past that did not want to be tagged let alone didnt want to appear public on any social media platform (even though I knew their family and friends, etc)

So yall will probably hate me! LOL

IM GONNA BE SO DAMN HAPPY WHEN I MEET THE RIGHT GUY AND POST HIS ASS ALL OVER MY PAGE! LOL
I dont think I will over post tho - but yall will SEE my happiness because its been suppressed for so long 

Some couples ARE actually that happy - I know several. That doesnt mean i know the intricacies but overall yep I do know happy couples including my Step Mom and My Dad - she overposts all the damn time and they are IN LOVE

Guess it’s no diff then ppl posting their kids all over social media

[_sydney_vicious_]

LOL from my personal experience and my friend's personal experiences, absolutely not.

I was in a semi-short lived relationship about five years ago. I wasn't happy at all with him but stuck it out for those seven months for a different reason (I'll explain that later if you want lol). The whole relationship was unstable. He was insecure and would always pick fights with me which caused us to break up every three or so weeks. I remember that I told him early on that I don't want to put "In a relationship with ___" on FB because I have a six month rule. But he went ahead and did it anyways. On top of that he would always share and document everything we were doing on social media ESPECIALLY after a fight. When we broke up for good HIS friends were shocked because we always "seemed so happy". The reality is we weren't - at least I wasn't.

In my current relationship we barely share on social media, and we've been together for 3 1/2 years. On his FB he doesn't have photos of us which I don't care about since neither of us use it these days. We both use IG and my last photo of us was posted in March 2018, while his most recent photo of us was from July 2019. Does that mean we have a bad relationship? Absolutely not. We have some issues (what couple doesn't?), but at the end of the day we are much happier than anything else.

From these two experiences I've learned that when you overshare a relationship it's because you're compensating for the lack of happiness or stability.

[Ninacy]

Well, on the opposite side of the spectrum there are people who are hooked with others but one of them is so embarrassed that they virtually hide the status of their relationship and untag pictures with the other person. Same goes for married people who'll stay with their wife/husband but won't post anything about it on social media.

 I know because I was dating a  guy who was a mess inside and out and poor fellow assumed he was in a relationship with me because stupid me, I dated him more than a couple of times because I didn't have the guts to reject him right away. He said he was in a relationship on Facebook while I was still "single" and even tag me on a couple of pics we got together in the restaurant, but I immediately told him to back off and untag. He got nasty of course and accused me of leading him on.

I believe genuinely happy folks post important relationship events e.g weddings, anniversaries, exotic holidays on an occasional or semi-regular basis but nothing too frequent or crazy. I'd say a couple of time's a month or so judging from happy couples in my circle that have been together for more than three years.

It's the ones who post very rarely (if nothing at all) or the ones who post random things about their relationship too frequently who are fishy and fake indeed. Both opposite things are a sign that something's off with their relationship.

[Sparkle002]

Well, on the opposite side of the spectrum there are people who are hooked with others but one of them is so embarrassed that they virtually hide the status of their relationship and untag pictures with the other person. Same goes for married people who'll stay with their wife/husband but won't post anything about it on social media.

 I know because I was dating a  guy who was a mess inside and out and poor fellow assumed he was in a relationship with me because stupid me, I dated him more than a couple of times because I didn't have the guts to reject him right away. He said he was in a relationship on Facebook while I was still "single" and even tag me on a couple of pics we got together in the restaurant, but I immediately told him to back off and untag. He got nasty of course and accused me of leading him on.

I believe genuinely happy folks post important relationship events e.g weddings, anniversaries, exotic holidays on an occasional or semi-regular basis but nothing too frequent or crazy. I'd say a couple of time's a month or so judging from happy couples in my circle that have been together for more than three years.

It's the ones who post very rarely (if nothing at all) or the ones who post random things about their relationship too frequently who are fishy and fake indeed. Both opposite things are a sign that something's off with their relationship.

Agree 100%

[Ninacy]

Well, technically, millennial couples under 35 who are more social media savvy tend to post more than people who are older and were happily together for more than 5 years, especially if they are no kids involved. But I'd say on average, most happy and long-term couples between ages 25-40 will post a couple of times per month or so, maybe a bit more maybe less but nothing too rare or too frequent.

Of course, age doesn't apply to all cases but this a general tendency I've noticed.

[Arigirl]

I do believe I see differences in relationship posts across generations. I'm a youngish millennial, and I do think it's common to see couple posts amongst my friends, since for the most part people post about the the things and people that matter most to them. With social media stories in particular, it's common to post really quick blurbs about random things about activities and naturally people spend a good amount of time with their significant others, so they are usually tagged or included as well. Every one is different though and some prefer to use one platform over another--I haven't posted anything on my fb in 5 years, but I'm active on ig everyday. I think the culture of social media is strange in that, at least in my circle, its super common to see relationship posts. I also feel like it's a common consensus amongst my friends that not posting at least something about partners is akin to hiding them from our friends, family, and others, which may be taken by them to mean we aren't serious about them or where we are headed together. If I love someone I definitely wouldn't hide them from the world ❤. But there are so many other factors to this, mainly being how active someone is on social media in the first place.

[Sparkle002]

This thread is based mainly on assumption.
Unless you actually (know know) the couple/s in question - its just speculation.
Who knows if they are happy or not - if they are annoying or anyone annoying with overposting (including peoples kids) - I will hide, delete or block'em lol

[GoldenGirl75]

It's the ones who post very rarely (if nothing at all) or the ones who post random things about their relationship too frequently who are fishy and fake indeed. Both opposite things are a sign that something's off with their relationship.

In a very general sense, I agree with this statement, but I also agree with @ the3awakened1 that if you rarely post about your significant other doesn't necessarily mean something is off....I think its relative to how much you decide to post or share about your life in general on SM.

Personally, I don't post much on IG in general...only every couple months if there's a significant event, vacation, or doing something fun....and so I wouldn't have many pictures of my bf on there just bc I don't post often. I am also the type of person to share my feelings about someone with them in person rather than make a long gushing post for everyone to see. But if I were posting everyday or often, but never had any posts about my bf...yes I could see how people would question that status of our relationship.

I think its easier with IG stories to tend to overshare since its made to share random, insignificant moments in short clips...but at the same time...I feel like if you are more of a private person or don't feel the need to overshare your relationship...you wouldn't necessarily use that IG feature that much anyway.

I guess im trying to say I agree if you overshare it doesn't necessarily mean you are insecure or have a bad relationship...but I think in a very general sense, more likely than not, if you are insecure or feel the need to show off a relationship...that you would more likely post more about your significant other than someone who didn't feel that way.

[jolimano]

For me I have witnessed a huge mixed bag.

When I was in a long term relationship, I posted pictures of us and when I was drunk I would every once in a while gush about him, but not that often. And this was a happy, healthy relationship.

I know people who are unhappy in their relationships, so they don't post a word or a photo of them or their partner at all.

I also know people in unhappy relationships who post lovey dovey gushy stuff about their partner (usually around holidays or their birthdays) while simultaneously reaching out romantically to other people behind their partner's backs.

I also have a family member that is very happy and always posted photos of her and her husband, and would NOT STOP POSTING WEDDING pictures for like, a year after her wedding. My best friend was like, "Dude, I had to unfollow her." He is and also was in a happy relationship, so it wasn't because he was bitter.

So I think it's really hard to say. There is a broad reasoning for social media and human behavior.