Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
Has your POI Come back while you were actively waiting?
Realrealwater:
I never wanted any of mine back for more than a couple weeks except this one.
So I think thats where this concept comes from.
I always thought he’d be back but more so “by now”
I’ve gotten to a point now where I just want to be good either way. We have spoken since I wrote this &he was very sweet, I still love him to death & I still want him in my life.
There will be a point in time where I will probably reach out& be more direct if he doesn’t.
However, I believe in accepting a man’s “no”.
It’s complicated but I need to look after myself & get back into me. The goddess I know I am.
It’s been hard but I am so determined atm ...I hope it lasts :/
massine:
The one thing I cannot stress enough; LET YOURSELF HURT. GRIEVE. BE ANGRY. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. it's been nearly 7 months since my most recent breakup. We lived together, he asked me to marry him and we were supposed to pick a ring out together. We had a silly argument and that was it. Gone. Thrown away. I fought, I took responsibility, I begged him to come back because he is my soulmate, I'll never have a love like him and neither of us understand his actions. I do believe he'll be back, but I went from not eating, crying all day, not able to leave my bed and so devastated to confident, happier, more outgoing, flirty and I really made a point to put myself first, go to counselling, get help, and better myself by eating better, working out, working on my mentality and just focusing on me.
The unfortunate side of all of this is, as someone previously mentioned, it's much much easier said than done and it's taken me years of help, of acting okay and trying AND FAILING until I finally feel happy on my own. I'm finally happy with myself.
I can sit back and resist but life goes on regardless. I'll never have another love like my POI but if it's meant to be, he'll be back and if not, I'll make sure I find someone who can be what I need and who needs me too.
Realrealwater:
--- Quote from: massine on June 30, 2020, 01:42:08 AM ---The one thing I cannot stress enough; LET YOURSELF HURT. GRIEVE. BE ANGRY. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. it's been nearly 7 months since my most recent breakup. We lived together, he asked me to marry him and we were supposed to pick a ring out together. We had a silly argument and that was it. Gone. Thrown away. I fought, I took responsibility, I begged him to come back because he is my soulmate, I'll never have a love like him and neither of us understand his actions. I do believe he'll be back, but I went from not eating, crying all day, not able to leave my bed and so devastated to confident, happier, more outgoing, flirty and I really made a point to put myself first, go to counselling, get help, and better myself by eating better, working out, working on my mentality and just focusing on me.
The unfortunate side of all of this is, as someone previously mentioned, it's much much easier said than done and it's taken me years of help, of acting okay and trying AND FAILING until I finally feel happy on my own. I'm finally happy with myself.
I can sit back and resist but life goes on regardless. I'll never have another love like my POI but if it's meant to be, he'll be back and if not, I'll make sure I find someone who can be what I need and who needs me too.
--- End quote ---
I haven’t left this phase.....
I still feel like shit every time I wake up& reality sinks in... I get out of bed but I’ve not felt happy about doing so once this year.
It’s deep seated & I’m sick of it 🙄
Hopeful2020:
--- Quote from: Realrealwater on June 30, 2020, 02:36:19 AM ---
--- Quote from: massine on June 30, 2020, 01:42:08 AM ---The one thing I cannot stress enough; LET YOURSELF HURT. GRIEVE. BE ANGRY. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. it's been nearly 7 months since my most recent breakup. We lived together, he asked me to marry him and we were supposed to pick a ring out together. We had a silly argument and that was it. Gone. Thrown away. I fought, I took responsibility, I begged him to come back because he is my soulmate, I'll never have a love like him and neither of us understand his actions. I do believe he'll be back, but I went from not eating, crying all day, not able to leave my bed and so devastated to confident, happier, more outgoing, flirty and I really made a point to put myself first, go to counselling, get help, and better myself by eating better, working out, working on my mentality and just focusing on me.
The unfortunate side of all of this is, as someone previously mentioned, it's much much easier said than done and it's taken me years of help, of acting okay and trying AND FAILING until I finally feel happy on my own. I'm finally happy with myself.
I can sit back and resist but life goes on regardless. I'll never have another love like my POI but if it's meant to be, he'll be back and if not, I'll make sure I find someone who can be what I need and who needs me too.
--- End quote ---
I haven’t left this phase.....
I still feel like shit every time I wake up& reality sinks in... I get out of bed but I’ve not felt happy about doing so once this year.
It’s deep seated & I’m sick of it 🙄
--- End quote ---
Realrealwater
I am just now (literally within the last 2 weeks) starting to break out of that cycle. My ex/poi walked out on me & our kids 1 year ago this month, after 6 years. 4 months after he finally proposed. I spent every day of the last year with him being the 1st thing I think about when I woke up, to the last thing before I fell asleep, and all day in between. That may have been "obsessive" but there was so much pain.. and it's still there. But at the same time, in the last year, through the depression, I also lost 30 lbs (I was already underweight and got to 90 lbs), I lost motivation, my kids begged me to smile, or laugh and it hurt them to see me the way I was. It was horrible. About 2 months ago I actively started trying to put on weight, tried to "fake it til I make it" on being happy for them. And in the last 2 weeks its finally starting to get better. I can go hours without thinking of him instead of minutes. I can go to bed without being heartbroken. I can't give you advice on how to get out of it.. because I don't know. But I can at least offer you the fact that you are not alone. I know it's not much, but that is all I have. Its hard.. and it's bullshit. ❤
pfizer:
--- Quote from: Hopeful2020 on June 30, 2020, 02:48:13 AM ---
--- Quote from: Realrealwater on June 30, 2020, 02:36:19 AM ---
--- Quote from: massine on June 30, 2020, 01:42:08 AM ---The one thing I cannot stress enough; LET YOURSELF HURT. GRIEVE. BE ANGRY. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. it's been nearly 7 months since my most recent breakup. We lived together, he asked me to marry him and we were supposed to pick a ring out together. We had a silly argument and that was it. Gone. Thrown away. I fought, I took responsibility, I begged him to come back because he is my soulmate, I'll never have a love like him and neither of us understand his actions. I do believe he'll be back, but I went from not eating, crying all day, not able to leave my bed and so devastated to confident, happier, more outgoing, flirty and I really made a point to put myself first, go to counselling, get help, and better myself by eating better, working out, working on my mentality and just focusing on me.
The unfortunate side of all of this is, as someone previously mentioned, it's much much easier said than done and it's taken me years of help, of acting okay and trying AND FAILING until I finally feel happy on my own. I'm finally happy with myself.
I can sit back and resist but life goes on regardless. I'll never have another love like my POI but if it's meant to be, he'll be back and if not, I'll make sure I find someone who can be what I need and who needs me too.
--- End quote ---
I haven’t left this phase.....
I still feel like shit every time I wake up& reality sinks in... I get out of bed but I’ve not felt happy about doing so once this year.
It’s deep seated & I’m sick of it 🙄
--- End quote ---
Realrealwater
I am just now (literally within the last 2 weeks) starting to break out of that cycle. My ex/poi walked out on me & our kids 1 year ago this month, after 6 years. 4 months after he finally proposed. I spent every day of the last year with him being the 1st thing I think about when I woke up, to the last thing before I fell asleep, and all day in between. That may have been "obsessive" but there was so much pain.. and it's still there. But at the same time, in the last year, through the depression, I also lost 30 lbs (I was already underweight and got to 90 lbs), I lost motivation, my kids begged me to smile, or laugh and it hurt them to see me the way I was. It was horrible. About 2 months ago I actively started trying to put on weight, tried to "fake it til I make it" on being happy for them. And in the last 2 weeks its finally starting to get better. I can go hours without thinking of him instead of minutes. I can go to bed without being heartbroken. I can't give you advice on how to get out of it.. because I don't know. But I can at least offer you the fact that you are not alone. I know it's not much, but that is all I have. Its hard.. and it's bullshit. ❤
--- End quote ---
oh i am so sorry to hear your story and i hope you feel better and better daily
did you go to gym or some sorts of exercise? or doing some arts?
my experience (i dealed with clients in social welfare centers before) told me emotional attachment to another individual could be very disastrous because another individual will always very unpredictable.
i hope you can find something inside YOU youself to help you feel grounded then your inner peace will be permanent.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version