Should I leave it now?

[aries1995]

 So this quarantine thing is driving my anxiety crazy and making me over think so here’s my story. I was dating a guy for 6 months. He started off amazing and very attentive. I was having health issues when we met so he tried hard to check on me and he got himself very involved in my life despite my hesitations. Then the last two months it just changed. He spoke to me and lot less and didn’t talk to me the same way when he did. He was having major issues with his family so I didn’t mention it bothered me and just tried to support him. He’d randomly open up about it then get closed off and not speak to me again. However, when we met up he was his normal self. It got to a point he would ignore me for days so I told him I wasn’t happy with the way things were and maybe we should end it. He said no and we should try to work it out. I agreed but nothing changed and he said once again I don’t trust him. Eventually I said again I wasn’t happy anymore we decided we’d meet up and talk it all through properly once and for all. We met up and again he was his normal self. After that day he didn’t speak to me for a few days again until he said he didn’t see us getting over the issues even though he likes me.we haven’t spoken since. That was over two months ago. I’m I crazy to me still holding on? Should I message him or wait for him to? Or just move on?

[pfizer]

i think he was right
end it
you were nit happy and he was not happy

[kdspirited]

So this quarantine thing is driving my anxiety crazy and making me over think so here’s my story. I was dating a guy for 6 months. He started off amazing and very attentive. I was having minor health issues when we met so he tried hard to check on me and he got himself very involved in my life despite my hesitations. Then the last two months it just changed. He said I didn’t trust him even though I reassured him I trusted him more than most guys I’ve dated. He spoke to me and lot less and didn’t talk to me the same way when he did. He was having major issues at work and with his family so I didn’t mention it bothered me and just tried to support him. He’d randomly open up about it then get closed off and not speak to me again. However, when we met up he was his normal self. It got to a point he would ignore me for days so I told him I wasn’t happy with the way things were and maybe we should end it. He said no and we should try to work it out. I agreed but nothing changed and he said once again I don’t trust him to which I replied I trust him the most and he should be glad I do. He took offence to this but we worked it out and remained together but the other issues remained unresolved. Eventually I said again I wasn’t happy anymore he apologised and said it’s work and his family again. He said we’d talk and work it out but we didn’t. So I ended it but we somehow continued talking and decided we’d meet up and talk it all through properly once and for all. We met up and again he was his normal self. He didn’t mention it so I didn’t. After that day he didn’t speak to me for a few days again until he said it felt different to which I agreed and he said he liked me a lot, he hasn’t felt this way about anyone in a long time but he doesn’t see it going anywhere so we should end it. I told him I felt the same but thought we should at least talk it out and see if we can work it out. He said it would be too confusing and we haven’t spoken since. That was over two months ago. I’m I crazy to me still holding on? Should I message him or wait for him to? Or just move on?

Hi Aries look up the defintition on Narcissistic empath or covert narcissist you might find out some answers to his behavior pattern.

[Miss Philosopher]

Sounds to me like you got yourself involved with a covert narcissist. That is the exact behavioral pattern of one. That was my experience over the last 9 years. First 3 we were just friends but he'd pop up and we'd talk everyday and then he'd disappear for months, then reappear. 4th year we got involved "romantically" and OMG what an absolute nightmare. It was more of the same pattern but we now have to include the chronic cheating, the porn addiction, the pathological lying, the back and forth emotions, the hot/cold, the super sweet and then super distant, the breaking up and then reconciling. It was an absolute nightmare. Thank your lucky stars and I'd suggest moving on or else you're in for a hell of a ride and more of the same pattern. Good luck!

[aries1995]

Thank you all for your replies! I appreciate you! He is definitely a little narcissistic but I have to admit I'm also very headstrong. I didn't make it easy for him to get close to me when we first started dating hence his trust insecurity (which I think is from another relationship also). I guess I just think I'm to blame here too

Sorry you had to go through that! Thank you for your advice

[color=#0000ff  It was more of the same pattern but we now have to include the chronic cheating, the porn addiction, the pathological lying, the back and forth emotions, the hot/cold, the super sweet and then super distant, the breaking up and then reconciling. ![/color]

[russianred]

It seems like he has work and family issues that are preventing him from having a happy relationship (that or he's using those as excuses).  It's hard to know from your post whether he said the "not going anywhere" line because that's how he feels about you overall (i.e., compatibility) or if it's more of a response to the ups and downs of the relationship that may have resulted from factors in his own life.  My personal advice would be to not reach out.  At a minimum, it sounds like he needs to resolve several issues in his own life in order to even have the potential of having a successful relationship with you, and it's better for him to have the space to do that without your involvement anyway.  If he is interested in pursuing something with you, he will reach out if/when he is ready.