Frustrated with Psychics and full of regrets: My Story

[Miss Philosopher]

I felt compelled to share my journey with psychics. I'm going to try not to make this into a novel but I'm just really frustrated and upset with my own self for being so..........gullible? Influenced? Weak? So, it may become a novel lol. Here goes.

I started calling psychics waaaaaaaay back like 20 years ago. I'm 42 now. I was with a very abusive man for 6 years back then who broke my nose twice, cheated on me constantly, took all my money etc. I called psychics about him, and despite all of that going on, the three that I talked to told me we'd get married. Please understand that my childhood was full of abuse in every way possible and so, for me, abuse was normal at that time. They were obviously all wrong, thank God. I was younger back then and full of hope and wasn't too devastated that the relationship ended. More relieved when he finally left me for another woman. That didn't last with them and he came back to me after like 6 months because he became ill and became schizophrenic. I helped him out as a friend, then met another man and kicked the ex out. He ended up living on the streets, then got government assistance and has been single ever since to this day. 

Fastforward to another man that I fell deeply for back in 2007, we broke up in August of 2009. My first psychic binge began. Most of them said he'd be back. There was only ONE that I can't remember who she was, off of keen, that told me I'd here from him once more but nothing would come of it because he just wanted to be friends. She ended up being right. I heard from him in December 2009 and he just wanted to be friends but ran away again because I was wanting more. That was the last time I ever heard from him again.

Fastforward to 2010: I fell in love with yet another man, from Iraq. He was the sweetest, kindest man I've ever met in my life to date. We obviously had cultural differences and his mother didn't want him to be with an American woman. I thought he'd overcome pleasing his mother and do what he wanted because, I know for a fact he really truly loved me. I could feel it and see it in his eyes. I've never had such a beautiful connection to this day with anyone else. I called psychics and they told me we'd get married. This was the first time I ever tried Kisha aka Aries Intuition and she was the ONLY ONE (out of HUNDREDS on keen) that told me the relationship would end due to cultural differences but not for lack of love because the man genuinely loved me, which I knew was true. I hated what she said and hung up thinking she was full of shit. Two years later, the relationship ended for good due to cultural differences and his mother refusing to approve.

Fastforward to 2012 3 months after the breakup with the Iraqi man: I met another man that lived in the UK, divorced with two children. Unfortunately he was diagnosed with having bipolar disorder. I didn't care though because I felt I loved him at the time. He came to visit me and stayed for several months, twice. It lasted until October of 2013. My next psychic binge began. It was a horrible breakup. He literally just cut me off cold turkey and wouldn't speak to me no matter how many times I tried. I finally gave up trying. Starting calling psychics on keen and some other random sites. All said he'd come back around and they kept pushing out their time frames for when contact would occur. I then started praying for a sign or to find a psychic that would give signs and this is what led to my current situation.

Fastforward to January of 2014: I came across a psychic that gave markers in time for events to occur. I'm going to call her psychic A. I was calling about the guy in the UK at the time. Psychic A told me during that first reading that he would definitely come back around but that it was a very slow moving energy. She also told me that by the time he did come back around and contact me, I'd already be involved with someone else. She actually told me the name of the individual that was coming in next and gave me a warning that I SHOULD NOT IGNORE this person. I didn't care about the new person at that time. Just wanted the ex back. For the next two months I had many readings with her. She gave me markers for contact with the ex, I'd get the  markers but never got DIRECT contact from the ex. He would create different nicknames in this chatroom we all went to and talk under that name pretending to be someone else. So, I got the contact but not in the way I thought I would. She also continued to mention the new person's name asking if I'd met them yet, told me I was REALLY going to like him, and continued to warn me NOT TO IGNORE HIM.

End of March 2014, the guy finally entered my life, which is the current ex. I didn't know it was him at the time because I was used to referring to him by his chatroom nickname and forgot about his real name. We had been friends on that chat tool for 3 years prior to 2014. I also had frequently ignored his messages to me because I was involved with someone else, and he was married, and he just wasn't important to me back then. And then I remembered she kept telling me NOT to ignore him this time around. I had viewed him as a wishy washy player type of person with a disgusting need for attention back then, even though I also felt a familiarity the first time I heard his voice as though I'd lived a thousand lives with him before and had known him all my life this lifetime. I was actually really disappointed when I figured out that it was HIM she kept seeing coming in.

So, my dumb ass listened to her, didn't ignore him, got involved with him because she kept telling me he was "the one". I knew he was at the ass end of his marriage and about to get divorced, so, I took a really stupid chance against my own intuition on the matter, and listened to her. I'm not going to give all the details of things that happened throughout the past 6 years with this fool because it would definitely become a book, which I'm actually in process of writing right now.

After a year into the situationship, yes I call it that because it never felt like a real actual relationship, I started to feel like he was just using me. So, I remembered Kisha aka Aries Intuition and how honest and blunt she was back in 2010. So, I gave her a call. She straight up told me that he cared about me but was not in love with me. Told me he was emotionally holding on to his past marriage. It should be noted that dude lived in FL with the wife and two kids at the time. I live in CO. I appreciated Kisha's honesty and I knew she was accurate. At the same time, she didn't see a major breakup happening either. Just a bunch of ups and downs, back and forths.

I also kept calling psychic A and she would tell me he just had some life lessons to learn, that he would eventually learn them, and everything would work out and be fine basically. So, he'd basically come to CO, then try to relocate to FL with his mother's financial help. He did this each year starting in 2014. He came here in April 2014, left in June 2014. Came back in August 2014, left again in June of 2015. Came back in August of 2015, left again in July of 2016. Came back in January of 2017 promising he wasn't going to leave again, but then left for the very last time in June of 2018. He's still in FL to this day.

During the second year of this situationship, Kisha said he had grown feelings for me and did love me at that point but he still was cheating every few months. Not physically, but was always finding some female to chat with. I always felt that I was just a placeholder while he looked for someone else that he really would want. Someone more his type. He's puerto rican, I'm white. His ex wife is latina, and every female he cheated on me with was also latina. I started to see the pattern there. Also, these women had children of their own. I have a son but have never been married or lived that family type life. He seemed to think I wasn't stepmother material or family material because of it. It was a very unfair judgment for him to make. I also didn't cook 12 course meals like the latina women do. He told me a few times that I was more like a college frat boy because I guess I didn't have all the June Clever characteristics that he was looking for, even though he wasn't exactly a Ward Clever either. He was a shit father, owes 12 grand in child support, a serial cheater, doesn't hold down a job longer than a few months, is lazy as hell, at least he was with me. I did notice he kept the house clean and cooked for his ex wife while she was the bread winner. He never did that for me though. He also does this for his new gf, who happens to be puerto rican, divorced, with one daughter around 11 or 12 years old.

Anyway, back in 2017 Kisha had told me that we would be separated for an extended period of time and that there would be no movement in our relationship at all. She got an 8 for the amount of time we'd be apart but she didn't know when it would happen but that it would begin during the summer months. No other time frame was given. I dismissed that because I couldn't see how that would happen, since, he wasn't leaving CO again...........or so I thought. Then in April of 2018, she saw him leaving again in early summer but said it WAS NOT a permanent move. I didn't believe her then either. Two months later, in June of 2018, he left. That was early summer. However, she seems to have been wrong about it not being a permanent move cause he's still there to this day.

I called her when he first left, she said he'd be returning "home" to me and that he would NOT be there in FL for an extended period of time. Obviously, she was wrong. I don't know what her definition of extended is, but I'm thinking years is pretty damn extended. So, when she saw an extended period of time that we would be apart back in 2017, this came true a little over a year later obviously. During that 2017 reading, she never mentioned anything about me being in a new relationship either or anyone new coming in. But then, in April of 2018, she started seeing a new guy but got no time frame for his appearance in my life. I knew at that moment that there would be a breakup coming with then current bf. When he finally left in June of 2018, the moment he walked out the door, I felt I would never see him again. Out of all the times he left, that last time felt so much different. It felt permanent to me, it not permanent, I knew it would be years if ever. It was the sickest feeling in my stomach. The biggest knot ever.

Kisha never foretold of him moving in with another woman and starting an actual relationship with her though. I don't understand why. Kisha also has maintained that him and I would see each other again and that FL wasn't permanent for him. She maintains that to this very day. She also maintains that there's a breakup in his current relationship but gets no time frame, which tells me, it will be at least one year or more because she didn't get a time frame when she saw us separating for an extended amount of time, which happened a year and a half later, and she didn't get a time frame for the new guy for me, which hasn't happened yet and it'll be two years in April since she first mentioned him. So yeah, this is going to be years as well.

Psychic A said the same about the new relationship he's in, that it won't last. It may not, but I'm not wasting anymore years of my life on this guy. He really opened my eyes to what I really was to him. He does everything for this new woman that he refused to do for me but then wondered why I was so sad and angry all the time. I had him pegged from the start but kept listening to psychic A like a fool. Psychic A even gave me a marker for when he'd never go back to FL again after this time around. lol.

I will give it to psychic A that she's been creepily accurate about many things, but since he's left, she hasn't really been accurate as far as how long he stays there and she never saw this new person either. She gave me some markers back in October that I'm just now getting and one of them was to mean he has been stripped back to the barebones, back to square one, and has nothing. Well, that isn't what the hell I'm seeing. While he may not have a job, he lives in his gf's nice new house that she just bought end of January, probably put his name on it too, he has brand new clothes she bought him, he uses her card for everything, they go out, drink fine wine, go on family outings with his kids and her daughter, and on and on. To me, he has more than he's ever had before to be honest. So that marker was obviously bullshit. I had another marker that recently came in that was supposed to mean he would feel like begging me for my help.............huh? He has no need for anything from me at all.

Kisha says he'll maintain contact, but no relationship movement and no real reconciliation in the "foreseeable future". I believe her on this. Even if he tried, I'd never go down that path with him again. No thanks. We talk basically daily as of late but nothing major. Just friend stuff. I'm cool with that. I wish Kisha would be right about the new dude though. There are many things in her last few readings that never happened regarding the ex. It seems like when a third party gets involved, readers can't read properly anymore. At least, that's what has happened in my case.

Do I feel they will breakup? Not really. He's the type that would marry a person just for the comfort and safety of the situation. He doesn't have to have love involved. He's also codependent and desperate to remain in FL so he'd do anything in order to stay there, including marriage. If they did breakup, I don't feel it will be for years to come. I won't hold my breath on that one. Time for me to move on.

Lessons learned here: If you are with a person that is wishy washy from the start, that's your sign that he's not for you. If you are with someone that makes you feel insecure enough to have to call a psychic to see how they're feeling, that isn't the right person for you. Next man I get with, there will be no psychics involved. Never again.

As for anymore readings..............I have my last one with Yona in April because I've never read with her before. I'm getting a general reading and that's it. I will probably continue to read with Kisha once or twice a year for a general reading ONLY. If I ever feel the need to call about a man again, I'm just going to dump the dude and call it a wrap. No more of this shit for me again in my life.

Hope everyone has happiness and love that comes to you all! Thanks for reading.

[Esse]

Wow, hugs and what a lesson and believe me I know how hard it is to maintain a sense of self worth, to remind yourself that you are worth so much more than this crap and to make space for what's ahead.

I think that its probably true about men liking the thrill of the chase, to be in control.