Potpourri Boards > Addicted to Psychics

Kicking the habit

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Sincity2:

--- Quote from: Gemini30 on March 07, 2020, 10:51:01 AM ---I decided last September that I was done with readings, partly because of the negative impact it has had on my finances but also because I felt ashamed and embarrassed to be still consulting psychics about the same poi over several years. Also, I found the readings vague and generic; only little things came true, the more significant predictions didn't happen, and I felt I was wasting time holding on to false hope.

I was muddling along and doing okay up until February when I gave in and bought an email reading from a psychic I read with a couple of times last Summer. I had found her readings comforting back then, and they contained some sensible words of advice on how to handle a situation. I think persistent feelings of anxiousness and sorrow prompted me to go back and read with her again. I have a problem with overthinking and anxiety in general. Recent events unfolding around the world have a surreal feel to them, and I guess my mental state isn't the best at the moment. I start thinking about conspiracies and all sorts. I panic about coping with practical things while trying to maintain a semblance of stability and routine in my day to day life.

The reading did offer some comfort and reassurance when I first received it, and I've read through it often to try and calm my mind from racing. Still, the good feelings are short-lived, and I'm back in the doldrums again. Life is short, and I've wasted precious years daydreaming about a person who is out of reach, attached, unavailable, and who doesn't want me in his life in any way, even as a friend. I tell myself often that if he wanted to talk to me, then he'd jolly well be talking to me. It's simple, and yet I'm tempted to buy into what a psychic says about him not communicating with me because, according to them, he is feeling overwhelmed, controlled by a third party, stressed, and so on. When I look at my situation logically, I can't fail to see how hopeless it is, but it's like I want and need to escape into the fantasy of a happy outcome with him. I seem to find solace in kidding myself he might suddenly come forward and profess undying love or some such nonsense. A few months ago, I had a professional dealing with him, which was horrible; his efforts at even the most basic communication were non-existent. In some ways, the whole episode was so bad it was almost comical. And yet, without a word, he has done something quite kind, but this could be open to misinterpretation and doesn't necessarily mean anything. This is why I ended up caving and seeking out psychic insight, rather than listening to my intuition and common sense. Perhaps there are people you meet who affect you in such a way that you can never truly forget them; they leave their mark on you for the rest of your days, or it takes a humongous amount of time before they fade from your thoughts. I suppose I'll continue to be vulnerable to falling off the wagon and having the odd reading here and there for as long as this person lingers in my memory. I should cut this person off because I know it's pathetic to keep yearning for something that isn't even tangible or real anymore. I haven't seen this poi for years.

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Wow great post. This sounds so much like my situation, I could have written it.

Carmicsa:
Trust me I understand. As a logical person, I can’t understand how I developed this habit. I guess the fear of loosing the idea of a person is scary and hurtful. We don’t want to feeling that discomfort that comes from heartbreak so we turn to someone who we believe can provide us with insight or some hope. Thank you for sharing your story!

beachgal214:
yes!! but when you are finally ready to break free of the cycle- the peace you will feel is so much healthier.  Breaking patterns and cycles helped me. so starting small. blocking on FB helped me. Bc then I couldn't look and right there was breaking a habit I had formed.  then gradually accepting reality.

I still have ups and downs and had some set backs. but I am in a MUCH MUCH better place than this past summer!!  If you ever want to PM me I can share whats helped me.

The number one thing to me right now - and so maybe it wasnt always number one- is breaking habits that keep me engaged in the mental game.  so even limiting my time on this site.  I will see myself as totally successful once I stop visiting this site. its like a crutch I keep coming back to. the last piece I am willing to give up.  I like reading the stories, I like the idea that there people are in same boat and can help eachother out.  but I still see it ss part of my life I am trying to close and I think until fully give it all up this will still be a part of my life.
but its so much better now, not weighing me down, more guilty pleasure perhaps.

and I just feel so much better mentally. and physically! I started working out daily in 2020 which was new for me1!  I love it!!

anyway good luck to you and im happy to share ideas and tips or anything if you need!  I have been in the deep dark trenches, frustrated, embarrassed and ashamed that I spent so much money and for what? nothing seemed to come true! or a least I knew in my heart it wouldn't.  acceptance was the other MAIN one.  like I needed to retrain my brain for hoping and wanting and desiring something that just WASNT.  I have now accepted it for what it IS. not what it ISNT. and that has helped tremendously. I see it in a new and positive light <3

Carmicsa:
Omg yes! I think about the money I’ve spent off/on for the last 6 years and I probably could have had my credit card debt and car paid off. I’m definitely still getting the urge and I’ve gotten a reading but I haven’t spent more than $80 this week. (I could spend up to $100/day). I think the biggest thing is ACCEPTANCE. Believing what’s being shown and not what we hope to see. I’m so glad I’ve found this forum. I wish I would have found it earlier. When I have too much time on my hand I start overthinking things then I get anxious. You guys are amazing. Thank you for being so kind.

russianred:

--- Quote from: Still tired on March 09, 2020, 06:03:08 PM ---
--- Quote from: Carmicsa on March 09, 2020, 04:46:53 AM ---Trust me I understand. As a logical person, I can’t understand how I developed this habit. I guess the fear of loosing the idea of a person is scary and hurtful. We don’t want to feeling that discomfort that comes from heartbreak so we turn to someone who we believe can provide us with insight or some hope. Thank you for sharing your story!

--- End quote ---

In a way it may be worse for those of us who are normally logical and rational. When heavy emotions hit you can't always think your way out of it. I thought very logically about what I was told in readings and had a lot of skepticism, but it's like my whole sense of logic skewed in favor of needing to feel better. I gave psychics way too much benefit of the doubt, I thought, it seems totally unrealistic but surely they wouldn't all be seeing the same thing and telling me this unless it is real and will happen?? It seemed logical at the time.

--- End quote ---

This has been my experience too.  I hadn't experienced the type of emotions POI stirred in me, and I was so desperate for an answer as to how someone's words could be so removed from his actions (still am waiting for that answer).  I'm a logical, black-and-white type of person.  I would never raise expectations of a relationship with my words with someone if I wasn't ready to follow through.

From reading these boards, I've learned a lot of things.  One is that most people who post here aren't people pining over some long-lost and unrealistic love.  I think most of us call BECAUSE the situation is one that is so baffling, where everything "logically" seems that it should fall into place, but it doesn't, and that disconnect is what makes us look for insight and answers.

Ultimately I wasn't satisfied with any rationale given to me because I still feel, deep down, that if this man wanted to be with me, he would make that happen.  That's another thing I've learned from these boards -- these boards have so many posts from people at the end of their journey with readings about a POI who have all just had to accept that ultimately, if someone wants to be with you, (s)he will be, despite whatever the psychics say.

Another topic I've seen posts on a lot is about how love doesn't always follow the rules of what feels rational.  For me, if I feel that a connection is powerful, I want to do anything I can to explore it.  That's logical to me.  But it seems that love and connection just don't conquer everything.  People have problems in their own lives, self-esteem issues, mental health issues, lots of stuff that can get in the way.  And even if the psychics are able to give us some insight on that, it doesn't help us to control the situation, and it doesn't make POI any more likely to overcome said issues.

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