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Officially ONE MONTH CLEAN

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WinterElf:
I feel so good and stable mentally after being able to stay away from them for officially one month now. A lot of upsetting and perplexing things have happened during my one month. In the past i would run to a psychic with even a small problem. Now i have quite a few issues but I have not called and the desire is not there, only anger and regret for calling as long as I did.

I still get small panic attacks when I see psychics at a crystal shop I like to go to  but I avoid them like the plague.  I dont EVER want to feel like I did in 2019 esp.

The only thing keeping me away from readings is utter anger and sadness.  Following their advice, I ruined aspects of my marriage and past relationships.

Even if some were right , it doesnt matter and it wont make your POI come to you.  I feel like we get major bad karma calling psychics because it is a means of control.  We feel that if we call about the POI that we are controlling the situation and that we were owed their love from all the readings because it was so damn expensive.  Some might convince ourselves that it is just to check up on the situation lol but it is still a reading.

 Also we cant control people through readings and everyone has free will. Energetically checking on people and spying on them comes with consequences and one reader said that people who constantly do that, never get what they want.  I am praying and hoping that my 2020 is psychic free. I am afraid of even getting one reading in the future because it could cause a binge.  I never want to do a binge again.  I never want to waste my hard earned money on a psychic.  One hour of work would equal 4 or 5 mns with some psychics lol 

Even if i have had some caring accurate psychics on keen. I just cant go to them again for a long time and even infinite star told me to stay away from readings.

The less i call psychics, the more mentally stable and strong I feel. Less anxiety.  Using more of my common sense. Less clingy. Less outbursts. I focus more on the present.  I could give 2 flying Fcks about my exes and I am slowly stabilizing my finances. 

BEfore you call a psychic think about the last time you did.
1. Has your life improved from calling?
2. Do you feel like calling again after one gives you a reading even if it was positive?
3. Why are you calling instead of talking to the POI?
4. Dont you have a bill to pay?
5. WIll the waiting for a prediction to pass put other things on hold in your life?
6. Will your POI love you more and magically say what you fantasize about with your reader?
7. Would you POI spend so much money as you are spending, wondering about you?

beachgal214:
Thank you for writing this.

I got a particularly grim reading that was realistic and honest and I am reeling and all I want to do is get more. but I cant. bc what will It do for me??

I agree with everything you said - the karma. the psychic control. does it make them magically run to us?? god no. the opposite.

I need to be strong for myself. and walk away. no questions asked. like he did to me. it hurts to not understand and to not get closure. and I know many people say not getting closure IS closure. and we cant expect to get closure from others.

I dont really want to agree with that  - not bc I dont think it can be true - but I do think as someone who would always offer closure its hard to accept why some people dont offer this - why they dont think people need it - but regardless everyone has their own life, own journey and not everyone is going to give closure and yes I need to just move on whether hes going to come clean or not. and youre right.. checking in is checking in and its still a reading.

still keeps me bound.

its going to be really hard for me to walk away right now. I feel abandoned and discarded and even if he doesnt see it that way its how I feel. and its hard to understand.  I am expecting one more email read from one reader but I dont know if she will even read for me.  and if she didnt I wouldn't care.

if anyone is feeling strong and feeling like sending good vibes I could use them this week. just a hard pill im swallowing but nothing anyone else here hasn't felt.

xoxo

Yaz88:

--- Quote from: beachgal214 on February 03, 2020, 01:18:43 PM ---Thank you for writing this.

I got a particularly grim reading that was realistic and honest and I am reeling and all I want to do is get more. but I cant. bc what will It do for me??

I agree with everything you said - the karma. the psychic control. does it make them magically run to us?? god no. the opposite.

I need to be strong for myself. and walk away. no questions asked. like he did to me. it hurts to not understand and to not get closure. and I know many people say not getting closure IS closure. and we cant expect to get closure from others.

I dont really want to agree with that  - not bc I dont think it can be true - but I do think as someone who would always offer closure its hard to accept why some people dont offer this - why they dont think people need it - but regardless everyone has their own life, own journey and not everyone is going to give closure and yes I need to just move on whether hes going to come clean or not. and youre right.. checking in is checking in and its still a reading.

still keeps me bound.

its going to be really hard for me to walk away right now. I feel abandoned and discarded and even if he doesnt see it that way its how I feel. and its hard to understand.  I am expecting one more email read from one reader but I dont know if she will even read for me.  and if she didnt I wouldn't care.

if anyone is feeling strong and feeling like sending good vibes I could use them this week. just a hard pill im swallowing but nothing anyone else here hasn't felt.

xoxo

--- End quote ---

Hey Beachgal!

Which reader gave you the grim reading?

In a way, and I know it doesn’t seem like it at the time, a POI that is toxic does you a big favor when they finally leave you alone.  It’s when they come back into your life after you thought that you moved on.  That’s the most confusing as you try not to get sucked back into the same sick cycle that controlled your reality and your emotions in the past. 

russianred:
Congrats, WinterElf.  I loved the end of your post especially.

You are so right about our need for control.  Love really shouldn't be such a relentless pursuit of a desired outcome, which is what I have been doing for months with my obsessing and calling.  Love should be more about giving up notions of control.  Binges really are all about the need to feel in control, when we are actually more out of control than ever.

BG, I feel that a main reason why so many of us get readings is because we're trying to understand how people can act so differently from how we would act in the same position.

beachgal214:
Thanks guys. Yaz ill PM you. I dont know why I get so weirded out on the boards.

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