hello!! I need my ladies and guys to put on their psychologist hat
My question is:
Why don't I feel happy for others? Why do I feel envious and jealous when my other friends do or try something new? Why do I feel FOMO if others friends are getting together? --- even though deep down I don't even want to go, and I want to be happy for others and I mostly am, but it still sends me into a spiral
I keep feeling that I should always be given importance, involved, acknowledged, and appreciated. I want experiences to be mine exclusively, and sometimes when I share then I want them to acknowledge that they are doing this because of me or how they would have never thought of it without me-- almost like constant need of approval and appreciation.
If a friend does something good, I mostly feel jealous and envious, even though I am happy for them but I am not good at feeling or expressing that. I get jealous pretty easy and always want to keep proving that how I am better
I have a big fear of missing out on things..I will change my existing plans to make sure I fit into all plans- even though I don't enjoy them..OR If I come to know that a friend is somewhere else doing something else then I want to know what they did, how did it go...even though I honestly don't care-- but I guess a part of my subconscious mind does..
I don't want to feel this way, or have any jealous or envy towards anyone..I just want to be love, love everyone with full heart.
How do I do that? What do I need to work on? Self esteem? Self Love? What is the emotion behind all this?