please help me

[pfizer]

well i am a half chinese too; but i dont feel offensive about her 'fxking china' statement.
china is notorious that way; that is fact checked! i dont think she meant to hurt chinese feeling.

being a single mom is absolutely OK, as long as you yourself are mentally healthy so you can prepare yourself for the upcoming hardship on raising the kid on your own.

take care of yourself; find a good and reliable consultant or mental doctor; you dont need a psychic now.

[sexyp]

no offense to you but you are half chinese and not full chinese. don't take this the wrong way but this is almost like a white person using the n-word and then a black person says they are offended by it but then comes a half black/half white person and says well I didn't find it offensive. let's be racially/culturally sensitive. op could have made her post without dragging people from China into her issue.


 

well i am a half chinese too; but i dont feel offensive about her 'fxking china' statement.
china is notorious that way; that is fact checked! i dont think she meant to hurt chinese feeling.

being a single mom is absolutely OK, as long as you yourself are mentally healthy so you can prepare yourself for the upcoming hardship on raising the kid on your own.

take care of yourself; find a good and reliable consultant or mental doctor; you dont need a psychic now.

[ES1281]

My kids are chinese’ too of course I’m unhappy about her post but I was giving her advise to find a counselor but some of you guys are like I shouldn’t be offensive?

[Bostongirl]

You weren't ignore them.... If that statement upset you then your entitled to say so.

[pfizer]

no offense to you but you are half chinese and not full chinese. don't take this the wrong way but this is almost like a white person using the n-word and then a black person says they are offended by it but then comes a half black/half white person and says well I didn't find it offensive. let's be racially/culturally sensitive. op could have made her post without dragging people from China into her issue.


 

well i am a half chinese too; but i dont feel offensive about her 'fxking china' statement.
china is notorious that way; that is fact checked! i dont think she meant to hurt chinese feeling.

being a single mom is absolutely OK, as long as you yourself are mentally healthy so you can prepare yourself for the upcoming hardship on raising the kid on your own.

take care of yourself; find a good and reliable consultant or mental doctor; you dont need a psychic now.

i didnt get it, the one child policy is damn WRONG, completely anti-human; and what she said was pretty clear referring to this policy; why you have to generalise it to ALL chinese and WHOLE china or maybe even the chinese culture? i am living in asia so my daily life is still pretty chinese/chinese dominated, i really dont find her statement (with her background story) racist AT ALL.

now i got it why people nowadays dont even dare talk to chinese; they could be offended by any ANY way. 

[Fidget1028]

I’m 36 and I’ll be 37 next year... I’m more interested in becoming a mother. (And Im scared my window is also closing ... frankly this seems young to me, but medically speaking I’m considered now “old”)
If I get my finances in order, and if I become mentally better- I want to really do this.

I often joke with my sister who is older let’s get the same donor and do it at the same time so our keikis children will not only be cousins but also siblings! And have someone to grow up with... what would that be called? Cousin-brother?

Hope that’s a minder bender to defuse situation

Don't focus too much on age. I had my last baby at 42. There's something to be said for older parents. But I do get it.

[Fidget1028]

There are strong opinions about single mothers by choce but i have dreamed of being a mom and my fertility window is closing.
i cant wait on guys any longer.

I am going to get approved for disability, also. the state offers help for babies, as well.

this REALLY is a personal choice and NOT anyone's business.

I have people in my life who will help
SERIOUSLY - I didnt ask anyones opinion on my choices of having a child. this isnt F-ing china

Sorry but here's how it is. When you are relying on "the state" to help, you are relying on your fellow tax citizens to support your life decisions. "The state" doesn't do offer anything other than to redirect tax money from them to you.

So actually, it IS other people's business. Literally. It is money coming out of other people's pockets. This isn't a personal choice. It's a choice that impacts society at large.

China, for whatever it's worth, simply has better sense than to allow this kind of thing.

Also you say you are "going" to be approved for disability? How do you know? What if you are not approved, or you have to appeal and it takes years to get approved? What if you don't get disability unti your child is in kindergarten?

I have a disability also and a very limited income because of it. I'm still working. I am 41 and already going into menopause. I could do the same thing you are doing, but I choose not to. What kind of life would that be for a child?

Agree with all of this. Sorry if it sounds judgmental, but you chose to put your business out there. If you can't afford to support the child yourself, maybe you shouldn't be budgeting psychic readings into the mix.

[sexyp]

i agree too. having a baby is a lot of pressure for anyone let alone someone who has some other issues going on. i think it is unfair to bring a child into the mix if you are not in a good place financially and mentally.

There are strong opinions about single mothers by choce but i have dreamed of being a mom and my fertility window is closing.
i cant wait on guys any longer.

I am going to get approved for disability, also. the state offers help for babies, as well.

this REALLY is a personal choice and NOT anyone's business.

I have people in my life who will help
SERIOUSLY - I didnt ask anyones opinion on my choices of having a child. this isnt F-ing china

Sorry but here's how it is. When you are relying on "the state" to help, you are relying on your fellow tax citizens to support your life decisions. "The state" doesn't do offer anything other than to redirect tax money from them to you.

So actually, it IS other people's business. Literally. It is money coming out of other people's pockets. This isn't a personal choice. It's a choice that impacts society at large.

China, for whatever it's worth, simply has better sense than to allow this kind of thing.

Also you say you are "going" to be approved for disability? How do you know? What if you are not approved, or you have to appeal and it takes years to get approved? What if you don't get disability unti your child is in kindergarten?

I have a disability also and a very limited income because of it. I'm still working. I am 41 and already going into menopause. I could do the same thing you are doing, but I choose not to. What kind of life would that be for a child?

Agree with all of this. Sorry if it sounds judgmental, but you chose to put your business out there. If you can't afford to support the child yourself, maybe you shouldn't be budgeting psychic readings into the mix.

[Sparkle002]

Why do ppl actually “want” kids again? Lol

i agree too. having a baby is a lot of pressure for anyone let alone someone who has some other issues going on. i think it is unfair to bring a child into the mix if you are not in a good place financially and mentally.

There are strong opinions about single mothers by choce but i have dreamed of being a mom and my fertility window is closing.
i cant wait on guys any longer.

I am going to get approved for disability, also. the state offers help for babies, as well.

this REALLY is a personal choice and NOT anyone's business.

I have people in my life who will help
SERIOUSLY - I didnt ask anyones opinion on my choices of having a child. this isnt F-ing china

Sorry but here's how it is. When you are relying on "the state" to help, you are relying on your fellow tax citizens to support your life decisions. "The state" doesn't do offer anything other than to redirect tax money from them to you.

So actually, it IS other people's business. Literally. It is money coming out of other people's pockets. This isn't a personal choice. It's a choice that impacts society at large.

China, for whatever it's worth, simply has better sense than to allow this kind of thing.

Also you say you are "going" to be approved for disability? How do you know? What if you are not approved, or you have to appeal and it takes years to get approved? What if you don't get disability unti your child is in kindergarten?

I have a disability also and a very limited income because of it. I'm still working. I am 41 and already going into menopause. I could do the same thing you are doing, but I choose not to. What kind of life would that be for a child?

Agree with all of this. Sorry if it sounds judgmental, but you chose to put your business out there. If you can't afford to support the child yourself, maybe you shouldn't be budgeting psychic readings into the mix.

[Fidget1028]

LOL...seriously. I have 3 (2 are adults now), and I love them all dearly, but if anyone wants a taste of being a parent, feel free to borrow mine. 

Why do ppl actually “want” kids again? Lol

i agree too. having a baby is a lot of pressure for anyone let alone someone who has some other issues going on. i think it is unfair to bring a child into the mix if you are not in a good place financially and mentally.

There are strong opinions about single mothers by choce but i have dreamed of being a mom and my fertility window is closing.
i cant wait on guys any longer.

I am going to get approved for disability, also. the state offers help for babies, as well.

this REALLY is a personal choice and NOT anyone's business.

I have people in my life who will help
SERIOUSLY - I didnt ask anyones opinion on my choices of having a child. this isnt F-ing china

Sorry but here's how it is. When you are relying on "the state" to help, you are relying on your fellow tax citizens to support your life decisions. "The state" doesn't do offer anything other than to redirect tax money from them to you.

So actually, it IS other people's business. Literally. It is money coming out of other people's pockets. This isn't a personal choice. It's a choice that impacts society at large.

China, for whatever it's worth, simply has better sense than to allow this kind of thing.

Also you say you are "going" to be approved for disability? How do you know? What if you are not approved, or you have to appeal and it takes years to get approved? What if you don't get disability unti your child is in kindergarten?

I have a disability also and a very limited income because of it. I'm still working. I am 41 and already going into menopause. I could do the same thing you are doing, but I choose not to. What kind of life would that be for a child?

Agree with all of this. Sorry if it sounds judgmental, but you chose to put your business out there. If you can't afford to support the child yourself, maybe you shouldn't be budgeting psychic readings into the mix.

[Sparkle002]

Hahah!

LOL...seriously. I have 3 (2 are adults now), and I love them all dearly, but if anyone wants a taste of being a parent, feel free to borrow mine. 

Why do ppl actually “want” kids again? Lol

i agree too. having a baby is a lot of pressure for anyone let alone someone who has some other issues going on. i think it is unfair to bring a child into the mix if you are not in a good place financially and mentally.

There are strong opinions about single mothers by choce but i have dreamed of being a mom and my fertility window is closing.
i cant wait on guys any longer.

I am going to get approved for disability, also. the state offers help for babies, as well.

this REALLY is a personal choice and NOT anyone's business.

I have people in my life who will help
SERIOUSLY - I didnt ask anyones opinion on my choices of having a child. this isnt F-ing china

Sorry but here's how it is. When you are relying on "the state" to help, you are relying on your fellow tax citizens to support your life decisions. "The state" doesn't do offer anything other than to redirect tax money from them to you.

So actually, it IS other people's business. Literally. It is money coming out of other people's pockets. This isn't a personal choice. It's a choice that impacts society at large.

China, for whatever it's worth, simply has better sense than to allow this kind of thing.

Also you say you are "going" to be approved for disability? How do you know? What if you are not approved, or you have to appeal and it takes years to get approved? What if you don't get disability unti your child is in kindergarten?

I have a disability also and a very limited income because of it. I'm still working. I am 41 and already going into menopause. I could do the same thing you are doing, but I choose not to. What kind of life would that be for a child?

Agree with all of this. Sorry if it sounds judgmental, but you chose to put your business out there. If you can't afford to support the child yourself, maybe you shouldn't be budgeting psychic readings into the mix.

[jas]

I agree 100% with Still Tired - you took the words out of my mouth.

Here is what really irks me - I have great insurance through work but if I wanted to have fertility treatments it would be just this side of impossible to get approved. How does someone on $900 a month get approved for fertility treatments??  If I am not mistaken, the state is paying for the treatment that the rest of us would be unable to receive.  So to sum it up.....the state (us) supports you, the state (us) pays for the fertility treatments AND the state (us) is going to pay not only for the birth of the child but cover all expenses for the next 18 years??

Oh, let me throw a stupid idea out.....how about getting approved to be a foster parent first and see how it goes - you actually will get paid as a foster parent.

[Sparkle002]

I agree 100% with Still Tired - you took the words out of my mouth.

Here is what really irks me - I have great insurance through work but if I wanted to have fertility treatments it would be just this side of impossible to get approved. How does someone on $900 a month get approved for fertility treatments??  If I am not mistaken, the state is paying for the treatment that the rest of us would be unable to receive.  So to sum it up.....the state (us) supports you, the state (us) pays for the fertility treatments AND the state (us) is going to pay not only for the birth of the child but cover all expenses for the next 18 years??

Oh, let me throw a stupid idea out.....how about getting approved to be a foster parent first and see how it goes - you actually will get paid as a foster parent.

WOW I thought the same thing (fostering)

[Imnotsure]

This thread makes me sad. I’m a young widow with a toddler. My husband unexpectedly died before we could have more than one child. I’d LOVE to find love again and have more babies. But I know that having one by myself is really challenging at times. I don’t know if I could handle two by myself. And I have a good career and family support. I wish I could do fertility treatments but I know I’m not in a place emotionally or practically to do it. I don’t know what the point of my post is, but I think I just feel sorry for the OP’s future child. Being a single mom to an infant is really hard.

See this thread makes me sad as well, but for opposite reasons. Instead of uplifting, supporting or putting light and love out for OP or members of this thread, I feel quite the opposite is happening on this thread.

[ES1281]

This thread makes me sad. I’m a young widow with a toddler. My husband unexpectedly died before we could have more than one child. I’d LOVE to find love again and have more babies. But I know that having one by myself is really challenging at times. I don’t know if I could handle two by myself. And I have a good career and family support. I wish I could do fertility treatments but I know I’m not in a place emotionally or practically to do it. I don’t know what the point of my post is, but I think I just feel sorry for the OP’s future child. Being a single mom to an infant is really hard.

Hug to you, I wish there will be something good comes into your life.

I feel if the single parent isn't emotionally and financially stable, it will be very challenging for both the parent and child.
In a long term.

I believe mental health comes first on a person's happiness.
So hope op will think twice to get ready for a kid.