Pinkamena - thank you, I liked the video and relate to much of what you wrote. I didn't think of it that way before you said it, but I agree that a lot of the calls to psychics is because we feel like we can't call THEM. I say it's a confidence issue in that I want to believe that I will be OK even if things with the guy don't work out, but instead I'm too scared of that happening so I seek out reassurance that everything will be OK. Yet as I wrote, everyone can say that it will work out and I will continue to not believe it, perhaps because it goes back to the issue of not having confidence in myself that yes, someone might actually want to be with me.
I believe most times when people binge on readings, there is some emotional need not being met. Psychics become the surrogates for what other people in your life are not giving you, or what you are not giving yourself. It would be awesome if we could give ourselves all the confidence and reassurance that we need, but dang that is hard. Sometimes you need to hear it from other people. If you have someone in your life who is giving you all that, and you just can't fully accept it or believe in it, that is a different problem. But the answer is the same either way. It needs to be based on something solid, something real, something in the here and now. Readings will never give you that.
In my experience it doesn't work well to 'sit' with uncertainty. The brain and nervous system will just keep scanning for something to solve the problem. Our bodies like to 'do' things to solve problems. Sitting with uncertainty tends to just generate anxiety. If you can focus on doing something practical, it helps to create feelings of certainty because now you are taking action. It does not have to be directly related to the thing you feel uncertain about, and sometimes it is best when it is not. A lot of times we can't really take action when it comes to how other people feel, or how they express it. That's why it can be so difficult, because you are in the receiving position rather than taking action. It's natural to feel uncertainty about receiving, and to feel more certainty about giving or taking action. We need to have a balance or blend between both states. People who don't allow themselves to feel uncertain have a hard time being vulnerable and opening up to receive. The more you create certanty for yourself, the more you can allow yourself to feel uncertain. It's a paradox and kind of hard to explain, so I don't know if I am doing a good job of putting this into words. The more you focus on doing things that create certainty for yourself, the more comfortable you will feel with also feeling uncertain about some things. For me and probably a lot of us, getting readings is really detrimental to that because it creates more financial uncertainty. I started feeling so much better when I put the focus back on creating financial stability for myself. Rather than sit with uncertainty about romance, I focus on work or hobbies or doing things around the house. Every time I do something that creates practical results, it generates more feelings of certainty and confidence in myself.
I really appreciate what you wrote. Yes, I agree that psychics fill (but don't really fill) needs that aren't being met. In my case, my emotional needs are not being totally fulfilled in my relationship due to the circumstances that my partner is dealing with (although I call for readings primarily because I, deep down, believe that there is something wrong with me that is causing him to be more distant), and I also have anxiety, which fuels the doubt/reassurance cycle.
I think you may have misunderstood what I meant about "sitting" with uncertainty. I meant more that I have to learn to accept it as a part of life -- as you said, there are many situations where we are more on the "receiving" end, and we can't control others' emotions (another thing I struggle with -- the idea that if only I act a certain way, then the other person will react exactly how I want him to). I agree that distracting oneself with activities that are actually productive (like a hobby or even cleaning, as you mentioned) is helpful, but I can't be busy 100% of the time, and I want to learn how to feel OK with not knowing an outcome (because let's be real -- the psychics often don't know the real outcome themselves).
Would still be interested in hearing thoughts/opinions and making this into a long support thread.
