Why they always say poi doesn’t love the third party?

[Oisin16]

Hello,
I’m kind of on a third party Situation and always the psychics say, “he doesn’t have feelings for this person, he does have feelings for you” “he pushed you away because he’s afraid of commitment” but he’s with the other person yeah right. I’ve talked to the ones recommended here and also good empath and psychics also not sure about that one, I’m not buying that he doesn’t have feelings for her and has feelings for me but he’s not with me so that sounds like bs

[Arigirl]

Which psychics did you speak to?

[Yaz88]

A person is with another person because they choose to be with that person.  He is with his girlfriend because that is who he wants to be with.  He may feel more passionately towards you, but at the end of the day, it’s a cost/benefit analysis.  If he stays with her, then that’s what he has decided is most beneficial to him.  Sometimes there are financial, legal, or co-dependent entanglements that  make it harder for someone to leave the other person, but they still have made the choice to stay with that person. 

So, for the psychics that are telling you he doesn’t care about her, well maybe he doesn’t.  But he does care about whatever it is the situation with her is providing him.  I think the question I’d ask a very straightforward reader (not a strict empath), is if he will ever leave her.  Many psychics will not tell you the truth because that would end your need for them.  This is when I’d use someone like Ness, QOC, Lady P, or others who don’t entertain a third party situation just to keep you hooked.  For the sake of your heart, try to stay away from murky readers. 

It’s a tough spot to be in. I wish you well.

[Jellybean123]

A person is with another person because they choose to be with that person.  He is with his girlfriend because that is who he wants to be with.  He may feel more passionately towards you, but at the end of the day, it’s a cost/benefit analysis.  If he stays with her, then that’s what he has decided is most beneficial to him.  Sometimes there are financial, legal, or co-dependent entanglements that  make it harder for someone to leave the other person, but they still have made the choice to stay with that person. 

So, for the psychics that are telling you he doesn’t care about her, well maybe he doesn’t.  But he does care about whatever it is the situation with her is providing him.  I think the question I’d ask a very straightforward reader (not a strict empath), is if he will ever leave her.  Many psychics will not tell you the truth because that would end your need for them.  This is when I’d use someone like Ness, QOC, Lady P, or others who don’t entertain a third party situation just to keep you hooked.  For the sake of your heart, try to stay away from murky readers. 

It’s a tough spot to be in. I wish you well.

Well said Yaz, I agree with that fully. QOC in my opinion would be the most straight up.

[beachgal214]

I need to save this. Thank you for articulating that. So true. And yaz, you too!!

[aquagirl]

Sometimes men are with the third party not out of love, but out of obligation. I have seen this with some friends over the years. They aren't in love with the woman they are with, and have true feelings for the other person. They can be there because the third party guilts them into the relationship some how. They could be the bread winner and they rely on them for support. There are children involved and they don't want to break up the family. They maybe in a loveless marriage but fear leaving because of religious vows, opinion of family and friends etc... They may feel they need to do the right thing and ride out the relationship. They got back together with an ex because they felt obligated to try, were guilted into it, needed to give it one last try so they never wonder if it would have really worked out.  There are many many different situations that would have them stay and not be in love with that person. Doesn't mean the psychic is a hopeless romantic and not being practical. What seems logical to most women about men because it's not what they would do, isn't true for men. Men approach love and relationships differently than most women do.  If a man truly loved the woman he was with, he wouldn't be looking elsewhere.

[Love2lovenj]

Sometimes men are with the third party not out of love, but out of obligation. I have seen this with some friends over the years. They aren't in love with the woman they are with, and have true feelings for the other person. They can be there because the third party guilts them into the relationship some how. They could be the bread winner and they rely on them for support. There are children involved and they don't want to break up the family. They maybe in a loveless marriage but fear leaving because of religious vows, opinion of family and friends etc... They may feel they need to do the right thing and ride out the relationship. They got back together with an ex because they felt obligated to try, were guilted into it, needed to give it one last try so they never wonder if it would have really worked out.  There are many many different situations that would have them stay and not be in love with that person. Doesn't mean the psychic is a hopeless romantic and not being practical. What seems logical to most women about men because it's not what they would do, isn't true for men. Men approach love and relationships differently than most women do.  If a man truly loved the woman he was with, he wouldn't be looking elsewhere.

Amen sister!  Unless you are in that situation you have no idea the reasons why someone stays with in a 3rd party situation.   Leaving is always easier said then done.

[jhuskindle]

This is so rare, I think its a cop out for you to keep going back to bad readers. That said I've said it EVERY now and then, and it's been true, but its so so rare. If the dude is in an "unhappy marriage" why is he still married? It's not logical. Yet every cold reader will tell you so.

[ladymonarch]

This is so rare, I think its a cop out for you to keep going back to bad readers. That said I've said it EVERY now and then, and it's been true, but its so so rare. If the dude is in an "unhappy marriage" why is he still married? It's not logical. Yet every cold reader will tell you so.

I disagree with this a little bit. I'm currently taking a course on the psychology of relationships and it's quite common for men to stay in unhappy marriages or relationships, more common for men than for women surprisingly so. It's easier for men to settle for less and as mentioned, prior obligations make things much more complicated

[maggs30]

I think staying in a relationship is worlds away from staying in a marriage. Relationships are much easier to end. I stayed with my ex husband as long as I did for numerous reasons. Low self esteem, fear of not being able to make it alone, fear of being alone, feelings that I was worthless and wouldn't find anyone else, depression, the stability it provided, and so many others. Was I unhappy? Absolutely! Not 24/7 but most days yes. It got worse and worse over time until I cheated and left. I left on the promise the other person would be there for me. He wasn't. Yes I cheated I openly admit that and know it was wrong. He had already cheated with 4 people I know of so although I feel bad I also believe it was what had to happen to make me leave a toxic situation. By the end of it I had attempted suicide a few times and he had tried to run me over with our sons car. I hung unto hope for that guy for 3 years during the divorce and a year after. It never turned into anything but heartache and more suicide attempts.
Sorry went on a rant. If a guy is flirting outside of his marriage or relationship or a female either for that matter then the relationship is not stable.

[Fidget1028]

I think staying in a relationship is worlds away from staying in a marriage. Relationships are much easier to end. I stayed with my ex husband as long as I did for numerous reasons. Low self esteem, fear of not being able to make it alone, fear of being alone, feelings that I was worthless and wouldn't find anyone else, depression, the stability it provided, and so many others. Was I unhappy? Absolutely! Not 24/7 but most days yes. It got worse and worse over time until I cheated and left. I left on the promise the other person would be there for me. He wasn't. Yes I cheated I openly admit that and know it was wrong. He had already cheated with 4 people I know of so although I feel bad I also believe it was what had to happen to make me leave a toxic situation. By the end of it I had attempted suicide a few times and he had tried to run me over with our sons car. I hung unto hope for that guy for 3 years during the divorce and a year after. It never turned into anything but heartache and more suicide attempts.
Sorry went on a rant. If a guy is flirting outside of his marriage or relationship or a female either for that matter then the relationship is not stable.

Agreed Maggs. I stayed married waaaay too long for many of those reasons. I also had kids and he gave me so much guilt over that. And let's not talk about the alimony I have to pay to that man baby. Ugh.

[maggs30]

I think staying in a relationship is worlds away from staying in a marriage. Relationships are much easier to end. I stayed with my ex husband as long as I did for numerous reasons. Low self esteem, fear of not being able to make it alone, fear of being alone, feelings that I was worthless and wouldn't find anyone else, depression, the stability it provided, and so many others. Was I unhappy? Absolutely! Not 24/7 but most days yes. It got worse and worse over time until I cheated and left. I left on the promise the other person would be there for me. He wasn't. Yes I cheated I openly admit that and know it was wrong. He had already cheated with 4 people I know of so although I feel bad I also believe it was what had to happen to make me leave a toxic situation. By the end of it I had attempted suicide a few times and he had tried to run me over with our sons car. I hung unto hope for that guy for 3 years during the divorce and a year after. It never turned into anything but heartache and more suicide attempts.
Sorry went on a rant. If a guy is flirting outside of his marriage or relationship or a female either for that matter then the relationship is not stable.

Agreed Maggs. I stayed married waaaay too long for many of those reasons. I also had kids and he gave me so much guilt over that. And let's not talk about the alimony I have to pay to that man baby. Ugh.

I stayed until the youngest graduated high school. Transfered my job to a location 3 hours away and put the house up for sale. There are still so many days I miss the stability still 2 years later.

[flora0250]

This is a subject close to my heart...  both from the perspective of having left a marriage as well as the current situation with my POI.

It was incredibly hard to leave my marriage as I have a young son and I knew my ex would do everything possible to drain all possible financial resources I had which were basically none anyway and I had extremely little family financial support. While my ex had extensive family in the area and tons of financial support so he was able to drag me through the family court system this way and that way for two years. I knew it would happen. I am now barely making it and on the verge of thinking about if I will need to file for bankruptcy. I am trying to make changes but it is very very difficult with no family and a young child.

Still, I don’t regret leaving. I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know how I’m going to even things out but I know they will. I have some plans but I don’t know if they will pan out. Still. It was still better than living with a man who was starting to be emotionally abusive and once it became physical I knew it was the right decision to go through with the divorce. Very complicated. And to this day I fight the thought of if I had stayed. And I still love this man. And I love my child more than anything or anyone else and so I am literally rebuilding bridges with the man who abused me because I want my child to have a good relationship with him. He was a great dad. Shitty husband. Great dad. So I won’t ever take that away from my son.

If I didn’t have a good job going I don’t know how I ever would have been able to leave unless it had gotten so bad that I would have gone to a shelter or something. But thankfully I at least had and have a good job.

Barely hung on to it but did.

As far as my current POI.... I know it may sound naive to people reading this but I still absolutely believe that there is some financial benefit for him to stay with the woman he’s with. I don’t understand all the pieces but I understand enough to think that’s the case 100 percent. I am sure there are likely other reasons too like a sense of obligation to a commitment he may have previously made to her in some way... this is just what I am convinced of when I put all the pieces together. From everything he said the way he acted everything I see now... which is very little ... and so I am accepting that all of those things ... I mean either he is truly in love and happy And maybe I’m just all wrong.

Or if I’m right .... what a couple readers have said who I still trust ....he needs to decide if he’s going to get out of his karmic pattern of staying somewhere he’s not happy out of a sense of obligation and sacrifice. Or money concerns. If he wanted to reach out to me it would have to mean that he would decide that he really did have happiness with me and wanted to risk free falling financially as well as putting his own desires above someone else’s. And he may not do that. He may also think I didn’t want him as much as I do. That I wasn’t in love with him when I was because I didn’t want to shoe that and be rejected. So at this point. I really do think it’s unlikely I will hear from him. It seems he’s made up his mind and I won’t ever really know if my instincts are right or not.

Since he’s with someone else I would not reach out to him.

But I still am in this space of waiting to see. Maybe he’ll marry her. Cookie told me long ago that he would say he was going to marry someone but wouldn’t go through with it. But then again she got a lot of other things completely wrong. Leanne told me he would marry this woman but that we would have a heart to heart at some point before that .... literally every other prediction she made has not happened so I think if she’s right about that she won’t be right about us having a heart to heart at all since that just never happened and her reading was a year ago. Yona seemed convinced I would hear from him. That eventually he would get over this karmic lesson and be the man he needed to be for me and then and only then reach out. That he would explain things offer a lot of explanations I would just listen to for a while and then when he saw his talking wasn’t working he would take action.

And Skye. Oh my gosh Skye is the only one who has made absolutely correct predictions although few and far between a lot of other stuff and not many at all. But listening back 3 of 4 calls with her over the last year and a half - each of them she has said 2 years. Actually one she said she just kept getting a 2. Then in the following calls she said - and I really don’t think she had notes but maybe - but this was a consistent prediction not her taking notes on something I said.... she said I’m really sorry but it looks like the whole thing is going to take two years. At first she said wait have you been together two years? I am not relaying the verbiage well because as I’m typing it sounds like she was fishing but I’m trying t to say the opposite.  In the last call I had with her I thought well there she is saying two years again. Wth. And then I realized .... well. 2020 will be 2 years since we were together. So maybe it is that it is 2 years before he’s completed his own karmic journey.

And honestly? I have work to do still too. Because I was on a good track before him and that breakup. And I still am working on healing from it and getting myself back together. So maybe I need to be getting through my lesson that a break up is not going to be the end of me and get myself back together again. And hopefully that will allow some shift. Be it with him or someone else.

Wow. Sorry this ended up so long. Thanks for reading.

[Love2lovenj]

Thank you so much for sharing flora0250.  I know that has been a hard journey for you but it seems as it made you an even stronger woman.  (Hugs)

[flora0250]

Thank you so much for sharing flora0250.  I know that has been a hard journey for you but it seems as it made you an even stronger woman.  (Hugs)

Thanks so much for reading and replying —- and lots and lots of hugs back.