IF......POI comes back after ghosting

[Angel22]

Just curious - any advices or suggestions would be really appreciated.
I have been going through this forum for past 6 months and been through some posts where people mentioned there POI ghosted them. Similar thing happened with me, my POI ghosted me after 6 months of dating and then began the psychic binge. Finally I have come to the stage of letting go and leaving everything on God/Universe. Accepting whatever might be the outcome. Some really good readers gave me the reasons such as fear of commitment, not financially stable, healing etc etc..and I believe similar kind of readings have been given to many people over here. 6 months is not a long period to date and get stuck on a guy but somehow I was unable to let go and felt our connection was genuine and I know he is a good guy. Things were fine and suddenly the ghosting. I never pushed him nor pursued him after he did not answer my text. I know ghosting thing has been discussed on this forum before as to how it is uncool, know your self-worth, its cowardly etc. But has any readers readings from the above reasons panned true and the poi came back after ghosting? If he was genuine would you let go and give it a chance even if the ghosting thing is not acceptable? It would be hard to trust the guy later (in case he comes back) but has anyone here gone through this and things happened according to what a reader said and eventually things became good with your POI? or hypothetically how would you react in such a case?

[Sparkle002]

There are many many posts about a poi coming back after ghosting... I’m an example of that even just recently...most of the time they come back but not wanting anything serious. And that’s the catch.  Usually at that point most people have moved on or your trust has completely diminished and there’s no point in taking them back.

Sometimes there isn’t a really good reason why somebody ghosts other than they just probably just didn’t want to deal with the situation....Or simply put ..they met somebody else! had it happen twice to me since I’ve been on this board (with someone I actually liked) ....and it was in the 4 to 5 month range. It’s crazy they would do it that late in the game...

Just curious - any advices or suggestions would be really appreciated.
I have been going through this forum for past 6 months and been through some posts where people mentioned there POI ghosted them. Similar thing happened with me, my POI ghosted me after 6 months of dating and then began the psychic binge. Finally I have come to the stage of letting go and leaving everything on God/Universe. Accepting whatever might be the outcome. Some really good readers gave me the reasons such as fear of commitment, not financially stable, healing etc etc..and I believe similar kind of readings have been given to many people over here. 6 months is not a long period to date and get stuck on a guy but somehow I was unable to let go and felt our connection was genuine and I know he is a good guy. Things were fine and suddenly the ghosting. I never pushed him nor pursued him after he did not answer my text. I know ghosting thing has been discussed on this forum before as to how it is uncool, know your self-worth, its cowardly etc. But has any readers readings from the above reasons panned true and the poi came back after ghosting? If he was genuine would you let go and give it a chance even if the ghosting thing is not acceptable? It would be hard to trust the guy later (in case he comes back) but has anyone here gone through this and things happened according to what a reader said and eventually things became good with your POI? or hypothetically how would you react in such a case?

[Angel22]

Thanks for sharing and I agree with both of you. But did you guys had any reading where the reader predicted correctly that the guy is genuine but has commitment issues and he did come back after several months? Just asking because many of the top readers did mention this and that he will be coming back (I no longer know  who to believe and I have stopped getting attached to the outcome, slowly releasing and I feel better, also stopped getting readings).. but was curious. Of course time reveals everything and things would be clear eventually (if he would come back or not)  but what if he comes back, you still have feelings for him and give him a chance? Has this happened with anyone? I also know it would take a hell lot of work to trust him again but just thinking about possibilities..

[Sparkle002]

Just a tip: ALL readers say the guy has commitment issues - so yes. While that is true to an extent -  the extent is that ...I bet he wont have those issues when he finds his "dreamgirl" lol.

But I think we are saying the same thing - they all say that the guy is genuine, he has feelings for you, blah blah, then say But this and or that...the thing is...he could genuinely want to see you and is attracted .....and yes in my case, the guy has come back months later (mine was 4 months later after ghosting). BUT he didnt want to be COMMITTED.

GUYS ALMOST ALWAYS COME BACK BUT NOT IN THE WAY YOU WANT. Like 90% of the time.

Usually US women give the guy a chance when he comes back, but then the dude usually flops on his ass and eventually disappears for good. Im not trying to be negative at all, this is typically how it happens. You dont want to put up with a flakey ass dude trust me.

Yes I gave the dude a second chance, we went to Barbados (an island in the Caribbean) on vacation and everything. When we got back, he disappeared again. SMH

I know this is a challenge to go through, many of us on the board have been through it as well - and if you go digging and start reading ppls stories (all the information is out there) you wont find to many situations where the guy disappeared and came back on his white horse with roses and cheese and chocolate. Usually the guy ends up with a relationship with someone else or even married.

So in the end, the READERS could be VERY right on this person "Coming Back" but in WHAT CONTEXT? If they are saying he is "coming back" they could be RIGHT. But if they say specifically that he is coming back and wanting a romantic, consistent, Committed relationship - id probably not put too much hope in that prediction (again it depends on the circumstance, but usually if the relationship didnt start off committed, then the likelyhood of that happening is LOW).

Thanks for sharing and I agree with both of you. But did you guys had any reading where the reader predicted correctly that the guy is genuine but has commitment issues and he did come back after several months? Just asking because many of the top readers did mention this and that he will be coming back (I no longer know  who to believe and I have stopped getting attached to the outcome, slowly releasing and I feel better, also stopped getting readings).. but was curious. Of course time reveals everything and things would be clear eventually (if he would come back or not)  but what if he comes back, you still have feelings for him and give him a chance? Has this happened with anyone? I also know it would take a hell lot of work to trust him again but just thinking about possibilities..

[Apalm831]

Just a tip: ALL readers say the guy has commitment issues - so yes. While that is true to an extent -  the extent is that ...I bet he wont have those issues when he finds his "dreamgirl" lol.

But I think we are saying the same thing - they all say that the guy is genuine, he has feelings for you, blah blah, then say But this and or that...the thing is...he could genuinely want to see you and is attracted .....and yes in my case, the guy has come back months later (mine was 4 months later after ghosting). BUT he didnt want to be COMMITTED.

GUYS ALMOST ALWAYS COME BACK BUT NOT IN THE WAY YOU WANT. Like 90% of the time.

Usually US women give the guy a chance when he comes back, but then the dude usually flops on his ass and eventually disappears for good. Im not trying to be negative at all, this is typically how it happens. You dont want to put up with a flakey ass dude trust me.

Yes I gave the dude a second chance, we went to Barbados (an island in the Caribbean) on vacation and everything. When we got back, he disappeared again. SMH

I know this is a challenge to go through, many of us on the board have been through it as well - and if you go digging and start reading ppls stories (all the information is out there) you wont find to many situations where the guy disappeared and came back on his white horse with roses and cheese and chocolate. Usually the guy ends up with a relationship with someone else or even married.

So in the end, the READERS could be VERY right on this person "Coming Back" but in WHAT CONTEXT? If they are saying he is "coming back" they could be RIGHT. But if they say specifically that he is coming back and wanting a romantic, consistent, Committed relationship - id probably not put too much hope in that prediction (again it depends on the circumstance, but usually if the relationship didnt start off committed, then the likelyhood of that happening is LOW).

Thanks for sharing and I agree with both of you. But did you guys had any reading where the reader predicted correctly that the guy is genuine but has commitment issues and he did come back after several months? Just asking because many of the top readers did mention this and that he will be coming back (I no longer know  who to believe and I have stopped getting attached to the outcome, slowly releasing and I feel better, also stopped getting readings).. but was curious. Of course time reveals everything and things would be clear eventually (if he would come back or not)  but what if he comes back, you still have feelings for him and give him a chance? Has this happened with anyone? I also know it would take a hell lot of work to trust him again but just thinking about possibilities..

I’m on round 5 of a dude that keeps coming back. 5 times. I love him, I don’t think it’s mutual, but I can’t shake him. It’s a really difficult, painful situation and I find it utterly confounding that he keeps returning despite big, dramatic break ups and saying he doesn’t want a relationship. I don’t get it and wish I hadn’t gotten reinvolved the second time around.

[Kkbich2014]

Im not sure if this counts, but I had a guy that I dated for 3 months ghost me. I  After 5 months an advisor told me that if I reached out he would respond and be interested and we would begin dating again.  I did and we started seeing each other again as predicted. The advisor told me he would have "commitment issues" and because they all say this, I only listened to the part that mentioned we would date again. This is after him refusing to respond to my texts in the past.  I just couldnt let it go even when I should have. It never went back to what it was before the ghosting and I wish we never talked again honestly. The advisor was right.  He didnt want anything serious. Ghosting, while hurtful and cold, can be a real blessing to you. Anyone that really loves you the way you deserve to be loved would never ghost you.

Just curious - any advices or suggestions would be really appreciated.
I have been going through this forum for past 6 months and been through some posts where people mentioned there POI ghosted them. Similar thing happened with me, my POI ghosted me after 6 months of dating and then began the psychic binge. Finally I have come to the stage of letting go and leaving everything on God/Universe. Accepting whatever might be the outcome. Some really good readers gave me the reasons such as fear of commitment, not financially stable, healing etc etc..and I believe similar kind of readings have been given to many people over here. 6 months is not a long period to date and get stuck on a guy but somehow I was unable to let go and felt our connection was genuine and I know he is a good guy. Things were fine and suddenly the ghosting. I never pushed him nor pursued him after he did not answer my text. I know ghosting thing has been discussed on this forum before as to how it is uncool, know your self-worth, its cowardly etc. But has any readers readings from the above reasons panned true and the poi came back after ghosting? If he was genuine would you let go and give it a chance even if the ghosting thing is not acceptable? It would be hard to trust the guy later (in case he comes back) but has anyone here gone through this and things happened according to what a reader said and eventually things became good with your POI? or hypothetically how would you react in such a case?

[dasaninot]

Im not sure if this counts, but I had a guy that I dated for 3 months ghost me. I  After 5 months an advisor told me that if I reached out he would respond and be interested and we would begin dating again.  I did and we started seeing each other again as predicted. The advisor told me he would have "commitment issues" and because they all say this, I only listened to the part that mentioned we would date again. This is after him refusing to respond to my texts in the past.  I just couldnt let it go even when I should have. It never went back to what it was before the ghosting and I wish we never talked again honestly. The advisor was right.  He didnt want anything serious. Ghosting, while hurtful and cold, can be a real blessing to you. Anyone that really loves you the way you deserve to be loved would never ghost you.

Just curious - any advices or suggestions would be really appreciated.
I have been going through this forum for past 6 months and been through some posts where people mentioned there POI ghosted them. Similar thing happened with me, my POI ghosted me after 6 months of dating and then began the psychic binge. Finally I have come to the stage of letting go and leaving everything on God/Universe. Accepting whatever might be the outcome. Some really good readers gave me the reasons such as fear of commitment, not financially stable, healing etc etc..and I believe similar kind of readings have been given to many people over here. 6 months is not a long period to date and get stuck on a guy but somehow I was unable to let go and felt our connection was genuine and I know he is a good guy. Things were fine and suddenly the ghosting. I never pushed him nor pursued him after he did not answer my text. I know ghosting thing has been discussed on this forum before as to how it is uncool, know your self-worth, its cowardly etc. But has any readers readings from the above reasons panned true and the poi came back after ghosting? If he was genuine would you let go and give it a chance even if the ghosting thing is not acceptable? It would be hard to trust the guy later (in case he comes back) but has anyone here gone through this and things happened according to what a reader said and eventually things became good with your POI? or hypothetically how would you react in such a case?

AMEN!
I too made the same mistake of giving one coward another chance, only to be praised and chased once more just so he could ghost out of nowhere, months after, AGAIN. I loathe myself for letting it happen.

Sometimes you want closure. You can't make sense of things, you want answers, etc; it's human nature. Don't dread on it. But realize sometimes you may never receive closure from a situation or person so you have to take the active role of closing that chapter forever. Don't let your precious time go to waste waiting for an apology, a person, a truth.

Sometimes they pop up again, but more than likely it will end up as it did. So do yourself a favor and don't run circles. That will not only lead to the same old outcome but you may just spend time, again, looking for closure from the second time around.

If someone loves you, respects you, cares about you enough, they will not ghost. We don't want to tell our hearts and egos otherwise. We come up with excuses. But more than often, that's the hard truth. And even if someone somehow has love for you in his heart but still ghosts, is that the kind of love you want? A flaky love? A coward who did not take a day to think about how much ghosting would hurt you? Someone capable of doing the same again?

Mental peace is love, too. Probably the most important and influential kind of love. And you deserve it.

[Star_01]

I must be really hated by the male population because every ex or guy I've gotten seriously involved in has never to date returned. My friends, especially 1 of them has had 99% of people from her past return. However it isn't usually for nice reasons, the ex is with someone new and married but getting no sex, or they want money or are bored and seeking a bit of flirty or company chatting until they find someone else.

My friend is in a situation where her ex after 3 months of not talking contacted her saying he missed her and they've been talking for months now - for her to find out he's seeing someone and she's hurting.

Sometimes I think it's for the best that none of mine ever have contacted me as it's very rare that they come back for genuine reasons.

I did something very stupid recently but learned my lesson. I got involved with a guy who rushed in, charmed me, spent hours on the phone together and texted 24/7 who then met up, stupidly slept together almost right away and he made an excuse about going out and he would be back and ghosted me, blocked me. He clearly wasn't over his ex and lied all along to me that they'd been split for almost 6 months when it was 2/3 weeks before I met him. He had been with her a long time and I was just a hookup rebound. It hurts because the rebounder usually never returns in my experience or comes back later thinking "shit, they were actually good for me!", yet the reboundee is the one who is hurting and it's that painful feeling that he loves someone else and used you to get over her. It was my own fault, he clearly had issues as she cheated on him and he hasn't come to terms with it or their breakup. I should have been wiser but everyone is different and some people seem to have all their exes or people from the past pop up and others don't. It's horses for courses.

[Star_01]

I believe in most cases you are better off if the person never comes back. There's a reason why things didn't work out the first time around and it's not likely to change. Even if you still care for each other and no one did anything seriously wrong, something was probably off in terms of compatibility or circumstances not lining up right.

Ghosting is an especially bad sign though because at best it means that person lacks the ability to show basic respect and consideration for your feelings...or at worst means they are capable of doing so but choose not to for some reason.

2 exes ghosted me and those were the ones I ended up calling psychics about because I didn't understand what happened. I blamed myself and tried to figure out what I could have done differently. Eventually I realized both had serious mental issues - which both of them told me but I didn't listen - and there was nothing I could have done to fix that. But even if that had never been an issue, neither of them was compatible with me. Whatever drew us together in the beginning wasn't enough to build a lasting relationship.

One ex told me a few years later that he cut me out of his life because he loved me and he knew he was bad for me and he thought I would be better off with someone else. I didn't fully learn from the experience why he was all wrong for me so I ended up repeating that whole experience with the second ex. Except he was far too selfish to ever give me any kind of closure or resolution or to let me go. He ghosted me in the most passive aggressive, maddening way possible, never talking things out with me but never leaving me alone either. I would have been better off if he fully disappeared out of my life. The saddest thing was I couldn't see that. If I had I could have cut all ties with him and moved on a lot sooner. 

My experience has been that when people keep coming and going out of my life, there's something I am not seeing or understanding about the situation. As soon as I get it, they leave never to return again, and I don't miss them.

I agree. Why would you want someone back who didn't care for you when they disappeared on you with no regards to your feelings and leaving you in limbo? It's one of the most cruelest things to do to a person because they're going to be left with so many unanswered questions and feel really shit in themselves. Even if it's a case of them leaving to protect themselves because they fell for you and got scared or don't want you to get hurt they could at least be honest.

[HornetKick]

I believe in most cases you are better off if the person never comes back. There's a reason why things didn't work out the first time around and it's not likely to change. Even if you still care for each other and no one did anything seriously wrong, something was probably off in terms of compatibility or circumstances not lining up right.

Ghosting is an especially bad sign though because at best it means that person lacks the ability to show basic respect and consideration for your feelings...or at worst means they are capable of doing so but choose not to for some reason.

2 exes ghosted me and those were the ones I ended up calling psychics about because I didn't understand what happened. I blamed myself and tried to figure out what I could have done differently. Eventually I realized both had serious mental issues - which both of them told me but I didn't listen - and there was nothing I could have done to fix that. But even if that had never been an issue, neither of them was compatible with me. Whatever drew us together in the beginning wasn't enough to build a lasting relationship.

One ex told me a few years later that he cut me out of his life because he loved me and he knew he was bad for me and he thought I would be better off with someone else. I didn't fully learn from the experience why he was all wrong for me so I ended up repeating that whole experience with the second ex. Except he was far too selfish to ever give me any kind of closure or resolution or to let me go. He ghosted me in the most passive aggressive, maddening way possible, never talking things out with me but never leaving me alone either. I would have been better off if he fully disappeared out of my life. The saddest thing was I couldn't see that. If I had I could have cut all ties with him and moved on a lot sooner. 

My experience has been that when people keep coming and going out of my life, there's something I am not seeing or understanding about the situation. As soon as I get it, they leave never to return again, and I don't miss them.

I agree. Why would you want someone back who didn't care for you when they disappeared on you with no regards to your feelings and leaving you in limbo? It's one of the most cruelest things to do to a person because they're going to be left with so many unanswered questions and feel really shit in themselves. Even if it's a case of them leaving to protect themselves because they fell for you and got scared or don't want you to get hurt they could at least be honest.

I agree because once you let them come back, they know exactly what to say and do to get you back and then they ghost repeatedly.  I also agree it's just effing cruel.

[Star_01]

I believe in most cases you are better off if the person never comes back. There's a reason why things didn't work out the first time around and it's not likely to change. Even if you still care for each other and no one did anything seriously wrong, something was probably off in terms of compatibility or circumstances not lining up right.

Ghosting is an especially bad sign though because at best it means that person lacks the ability to show basic respect and consideration for your feelings...or at worst means they are capable of doing so but choose not to for some reason.

2 exes ghosted me and those were the ones I ended up calling psychics about because I didn't understand what happened. I blamed myself and tried to figure out what I could have done differently. Eventually I realized both had serious mental issues - which both of them told me but I didn't listen - and there was nothing I could have done to fix that. But even if that had never been an issue, neither of them was compatible with me. Whatever drew us together in the beginning wasn't enough to build a lasting relationship.

One ex told me a few years later that he cut me out of his life because he loved me and he knew he was bad for me and he thought I would be better off with someone else. I didn't fully learn from the experience why he was all wrong for me so I ended up repeating that whole experience with the second ex. Except he was far too selfish to ever give me any kind of closure or resolution or to let me go. He ghosted me in the most passive aggressive, maddening way possible, never talking things out with me but never leaving me alone either. I would have been better off if he fully disappeared out of my life. The saddest thing was I couldn't see that. If I had I could have cut all ties with him and moved on a lot sooner. 

My experience has been that when people keep coming and going out of my life, there's something I am not seeing or understanding about the situation. As soon as I get it, they leave never to return again, and I don't miss them.

I agree. Why would you want someone back who didn't care for you when they disappeared on you with no regards to your feelings and leaving you in limbo? It's one of the most cruelest things to do to a person because they're going to be left with so many unanswered questions and feel really shit in themselves. Even if it's a case of them leaving to protect themselves because they fell for you and got scared or don't want you to get hurt they could at least be honest.

I agree because once you let them come back, they know exactly what to say and do to get you back and then they ghost repeatedly.  I also agree it's just effing cruel.

It really is 💔

[Sincity2]

I guess it would depend on whether or not they had a good explanation for ghosting in the first place.  Not that there’s a justification but maybe if they were going through something traumatic,

Especially men are bad about sharing things like this so they might just withdraw.

[Star_01]

I think it comes down to maturity among other factors. I've known mentally mature men to be upfront and honest and say they aren't ready for a relationship or break up with someone because they couldn't give them what they wanted. I know some men run away and don't like to admit faults or think it's pathetic to open up, but I still think it's a very seflish act to leave someone hanging when you know why you are doing something but that other person has no clue or answers.

I also think it boils down to how someone was brought up, how to value and treat someone with respect in relationships. Some people can be very selfish which can also be why these guys/exes come in and out of our lives when it suits them. There's many factors involved. Personally I wouldn't appreciate it happen to me so couldn't do it to someone else. If a guy really cares about you he should think of you and your feelings and the guilt should eat him up when he ghosts.

[Star_01]

I think it comes down to maturity among other factors. I've known mentally mature men to be upfront and honest and say they aren't ready for a relationship or break up with someone because they couldn't give them what they wanted. I know some men run away and don't like to admit faults or think it's pathetic to open up, but I still think it's a very seflish act to leave someone hanging when you know why you are doing something but that other person has no clue or answers.

I also think it boils down to how someone was brought up, how to value and treat someone with respect in relationships. Some people can be very selfish which can also be why these guys/exes come in and out of our lives when it suits them. There's many factors involved. Personally I wouldn't appreciate it happen to me so couldn't do it to someone else. If a guy really cares about you he should think of you and your feelings and the guilt should eat him up when he ghosts.

I agree with all of this! And omg yeah I couldn't do it to someone else. It would eat me up inside and I'd have to say something. Just knowing that the other person is confused or expects something from me would bother me a lot. Even if it was someone who I had never been with and just showed an interest in me. I couldn't leave them hanging with no answer.

It would make ME uncomfortable to know that someone was out there waiting or wondering if they were going to hear from me again, if nothing else because maybe I don't want them coming back around unexpectedly for answer. I want to get it settled so it isn't hanging over me.

I feel like people who do this kind of thing get some sort of emotional payoff in knowing that they left someone hanging. Maybe they want to keep that door open with no definite ending, or they just like the idea that they can walk away with no responsibility. Sometimes it's an ego trip.

Exactly, there's no harm in being honest with somebody and admitting you're not ready for something serious or have other issues going on. On dating sites I've had alot of guys be honest and say they're not looking for anything serious and don't wanna mess me around and I thanked them for being upfront. I just think it's a respectful thing to do instead of leaving that person confused, heartbroken and feeling insecure for the ghostee to come back later saying "oh it's not you, it's me!", it's pretty dickish.

I agree about the emotional payoff, especially narcissists love ghosting people knowing they can go off and do whatever and the person is left missing them feeling crappy and wondering what the hell is going on and they can come back in whenever they like hoovering the person with excuses and sweet talk.

It is very selfish because you're basically saying - well I may have that person back but I'm not sure yet, and I don't know what I want in life so I won't give them an answer and leave them waiting which is shitty.

[Angel22]

Thank you for all the comments, completely agree with each one of them. It has been a long time since I replied in this thread. When I posted this few months back, I did not completely agree with some comments and was still considering my POI and trying to understand everything from his point of view. I moved away from the situation, feeling better and was completely fine few weeks back. I felt I moved on. Until few weeks back everything started going reverse again and all the memories, thoughts, feelings came back. This is like a relapse, feels terrible, I wish I could just get over with it once and for all. I am usually a logical person even in terms of relationship and never thought I would become  stuck like this and it would be so difficult to come out of it. My career is taking a good turn, there are new beginnings but all this makes the good things happening difficult to take in and I feel terrible that I cannot do anything about it. All the questions will probably remain unanswered forever and coming to terms that I will never be able to understand what exactly went wrong, makes my head go crazy. Feel that rejection is easy to handle and you can move on but ghosting makes you stuck and even though you know that precious days/months/years of your life are getting wasted there is nothing you can do about it. Sometimes I wish I could process emotions like guys, switch on-switch off and deal everything in a practical way and get out of the situation easily. For me I get stuck in that vicious cycle of memories, then feeling sad, not able to control emotion and it goes on. And even when I feel I have moved on, suddenly you remember everything and you are back to square one. This one was really long but had to take it out.