This is just a rant which I haven't done in a while.
Since 2016, I would my life has been pretty shitty. There have been moments were things were okay but not necessarily amazing. I feel like my life has been stagnant in a sense that I feel like I have not really accomplished much and its not because I have not been putting in the work but because I guess I am not suppose to have it.
I feel like everyone around me is progressing money wise,career wise, relationship wise. I am still struggling in all those aspects. I no longer have hope. I feel like I have pushed my self each year saying next year will be good and each year I am just hit with disappointment.
Over the years I have slowed down on psychic readings tremendously and it could be due to me feeling I have found psychics that somewhat work for me or I'm just over spending large amount of money. But everyone and then I have a reading and its usually when I am feeling anxious and disappointed about life.
My go to reader has been Yona and Kiesha and sometimes lady P. I would say for the last 4 years I have read with them the most. Yona I have had faith in because she has gotten lots of things right for even big work and school predictions. Lat year, Yona expressed that I could get a little excited and how my life will be turning around. I started to be hopeful of that in November 2019. But then of course I was once again humbled.
I am in a living situation that I honestly hat and feel is unfair to me that I am trying to get out but yet I feel stuck because I have to pay for my school tuition, student loans, rent, retirement etc. That I can't even live in my own apartment. Im going too be 28 in September and I just feel like I should have been married by now in my own condo and I can't even get my own apartment let alone a man.
I had a POI who I had chemistry with which I hadn't had in a long time and I let him go because I didn't feel like things were progressing and Kiesha confirmed my suspicions. For the last month I had been so focus on work and moving that I wasn't hung up on the fact that POI and hadn't talked in a while but now I am feeling like crap. I thought after cutting things off on Tuesday that I would feel amazing and after an hour I felt horrible. I am not surprised POI didn't respond back , he's the type of person if you tell him to get lost he will he won't fight it. I am disappointed by this situation because I know him and how he can be that I expected him to be that way. I wanted him.
With work, I just hate my job. I hate the way people treat each other there. I feel like everyone is just either uncouth or just disorganized. On top of it , I am not even getting the pay that I deserve that matched my work experience. I have been fighting for a promotion since last year and in July 2019 I was told that I couldn't get it but I can take a test and I will most likely get it. Now, I am being told again I can't get it.
I just want a break. I feel so scared for my future that I just done see the rainbow at the end. I dont want to go through another year of heartache and disappointment.
First off, you are 100% not alone. You need to sit down and write your goals and focus on that in order to manifest them. Let me explain how after I share my back story with you (in the shortest amount possible, lol).
I, too, have been through a river of shit since 2016...
2016 started with finanical issues and followed suit throughout the year. I knew my relationship was over after this because this was my gd sign/smack in the face.
2017, another shit year. Lost a beloved family member, found out my parent was ill but drs said would recover, then lost my job of several years, then my beloved pet all in the span of 2 MONTHS! And guess what, not a single damn psychic I paid for back then saw or hinted at any of it.
2018, where the hell do I begin. I finally kicked my ex out of the house and seperated. Went through a what was to be a minor outpatient procedure that turned life altering surgery that I was not prepared for. Ex filed for divorce that fall. Passed for 1st promotion attempt then too.
2019, I though I would catch a break. Oh hell no, the prior years were to prep me for what was to come. Found out my parent who was in remisson, well it came back stage 4 with a vengence. They passed last summer.
Even though that seems to be a lot of bad on a plate, there was a ton of good there. I completed another degree, bought my dream car, and met someone I look forward to sharing life with.
I have more goals I want to achieve but regardless of the bad again there was a lot of good too. This is life for most people you have to take the good with the bad. If something truly bothers write down why it bothers you and what you can do to change it. Your post sent out a lot of vibes that you are really struggling to realize to let go of things that no longer serve you. I stayed at a job that I was going no where in, frustrated and depressed because I didn't know how to change it. So I did the work, prettied up my resume and the job I have now literally, I mean literally CAME to me.
Im sorry for the loss of your parent . I am glad to hear that you are doing better . I hope to be able to create a life like that for myself one day .
Yes, I do struggle to let things go mostly people , people that I care about .
In regard to my job, trust me I have applied to many jobs . Last year I was offered two separate positions. Both of the positions advancement wise would have giving me great opportunity but money wise at that moment it wasn’t much . One job was offering me same pay as my current job and another 2,000 more . Also, one of the positions the interviewer expressed that I can never leave early to to class so if I do get the position not to ask because it will be a no .
Unfortunately , I’m in the social service field and I already have my masters in child psychology I was determined to get my PhD in clinical psychology but felt very anxious about the competitiveness of the application process and decided to go back to school to get my license as a therapist . If I applied for PHD programs and don’t get in at least I have my license to fall back on.
In my field I can’t really make much without a license. Since I’m also in school and doing internship I need a job that’s flexible . I currently work full time and have a part time job plus going to school and doing 8 hours of internship . I’m honestly exhausted and I would also need to quit my second job in August since I would have to do 20 internship hours come September .
At my job ,I can work as a master level behavior specialist and move up and make a lot of money and also have the flexibility of going to school . Since,I also work for the government I have the benefits as well including tuition reimbursement. When I was applying for other jobs most of the places didn’t have the good benefits. I also applied for the promotion position at different location and I interviewed but was not offered the position.
I have spoken to my boss since last year about promotion and didn’t see any movement till the late summer . It was expressed to me I couldn’t get the promotion because more than 3 people answered the civil service canvas latter . I spoke to civil service and they said that in September they will have a psychology test that I can take and that there’s an advance placement option to it that I can be promoted . I took the test and my scores came out in March and I passed I am not on top of the list though . I spoke to my boss twice after the scores came out and recently she expressed that she got the list of people from hr and their scores who answered the canvass letter and that there was a lot of people . She expressed right now that they are not interviewing and that he has to hire two people first before she can reach me . To me it sounds like she is giving me the run around . She has a history of not promoting people and two people hasve left for promotion at other locations,
I am currently applying to other jobs and hoping for the best that this round is better . I honestly don’t know what else to do. So if you have any advice please let me know .
I have done the goal thing and had it in my computer and had a list of goals that I would accomplish . Like get into school if my choice (did that ) , get a promotion , get a new car,repair relationship with mom , pay off student loan, meet a good man. I feel like I have done my best to make those things happen except for the man part to be honest I’ve been pretty lazy . I don’t really have time to date since I’m really busy . My current poi things just happened wit him randomly. We just got back in contact last year and I honestly wasn’t expecting things to turnout the way that they did .
Please any advice will be great
