The Fidget Chronicles

[Fidget1028]

She didn't give a timeframe, which is perfectly ok for me.

I think based on circumstances and my history, the romance predictions were the absolute best they could be. Yona said there were lots of love, partnership cards. She said under "normal" circumstances she would read the cards as an apology and a reconciliation (10 of cups). In my case. her interpretation was a bit different. She saw him explain himself. She saw him update me on his devastating (her word) family situation. She said I believe him and I should, because he is showing as completely honest. She saw emotional intimacy, but not like "sexual" intimacy. She saw it as a very deep friendship and understanding. She saw the reconciliation as more like a new start and not going back to the past and picking up where we left off. She sees me as guarded and defensive of my security. She sees him eventually flirting, but not me. She basically explained it that I am not going to repeat the past. Now, whether the future means we will have a completely new start is unclear. It could go either way. But I am not going to try and fix him and I am not willing to repeat the bad cycle anymore. We either come back together completely starting from scratch, with boundaries and changed behaviors or I walk away. She did not see an outcome. What she did say is that he has a drinking problem which he hides. That's not a good thing because if he is hiding it, he obviously knows it exists. Could he stop? Yona says yes, he could. But if he chooses not to, I will not tolerate that either. She said it is ME that has changed and that I have a very good perspective on what I want in my life and that although there are strong emotions involved, I am determined to continue to pursue what is in my best interest and let others do what they do without trying to fix them.

[Yaz88]

She didn't give a timeframe, which is perfectly ok for me.

I think based on circumstances and my history, the romance predictions were the absolute best they could be. Yona said there were lots of love, partnership cards. She said under "normal" circumstances she would read the cards as an apology and a reconciliation (10 of cups). In my case. her interpretation was a bit different. She saw him explain himself. She saw him update me on his devastating (her word) family situation. She said I believe him and I should, because he is showing as completely honest. She saw emotional intimacy, but not like "sexual" intimacy. She saw it as a very deep friendship and understanding. She saw the reconciliation as more like a new start and not going back to the past and picking up where we left off. She sees me as guarded and defensive of my security. She sees him eventually flirting, but not me. She basically explained it that I am not going to repeat the past. Now, whether the future means we will have a completely new start is unclear. It could go either way. But I am not going to try and fix him and I am not willing to repeat the bad cycle anymore. We either come back together completely starting from scratch, with boundaries and changed behaviors or I walk away. She did not see an outcome. What she did say is that he has a drinking problem which he hides. That's not a good thing because if he is hiding it, he obviously knows it exists. Could he stop? Yona says yes, he could. But if he chooses not to, I will not tolerate that either. She said it is ME that has changed and that I have a very good perspective on what I want in my life and that although there are strong emotions involved, I am determined to continue to pursue what is in my best interest and let others do what they do without trying to fix them.

I’m proud of you, Fidget!!  Those towers seemed to have really done away with any faulty foundation within yourself, so now you are strong and unshakeable.  You’ve built yourself up, girl!  That’s something to be proud of!  It isn’t easy to truly change our inner standards, which then shifts our outward perspective.  But you did!  :-)

[beachgal214]

loved reading your top up!!! thats amazing!!!!!!! No towers for the folks in the back, haha!!! love it.  good for you. I hope the predictions with him come true. 

[Fidget1028]

Interestingly enough, she said this apology and reconnection will prevent a tower, so she was glad to see that it was happening. That's comforting on it's own. It still seems impossible to me, but I guess only time will tell.

[naturegirl]

Yay, Fidget! Glad to hear the apology and communication is still showing up. Can't wait for the day you post and say it happened. I will be so happy for you! Thanks for always being so open with your experiences and congratulations on your internal growth!

[Fidget1028]

You know, it doesn't even matter. I've done my work on me and I will continue to despite what any reader says. The truth is that in a little more than a week, I will have a house full of people celebrating Thanksgiving. I will have my 2 adult children arranging their schedules to not only celebrate the holiday at home, but to come over days early to help me cook, bake and clean by their own choice. I have prepared my menu and started grocery shopping. I have plans for black Friday Christmas shopping, decorating the house that weekend for Christmas, pull out "Fiddle"...our friendly elf on a shelf who keeps my son's behavior at bay before Santa comes, and I have an appointment for Christmas portraits of the kids (yes, even the 30 year old!) that same weekend. I will squeeze in some work for my job, because I am needed there and I take pride in that as well. I really do have a damn good life.

Also, I know that my POI will be sitting home over the holidays hoping that the 2 entitled kids he raised will remember to call on the holiday. He'll be heating a frozen lasagna and drinking (more than a few) beers and maybe watching a football game or some other sport alone. It's sad. But I know this to be true. He could have been with us, but that was his choice. He's waiting for his life to fix itself. Or waiting for God to fix it for him. I'm not waiting anymore for life to happen to me. It's just too damn short.

[beachgal214]

Love that fidget!!! You go girl!!! Sounds like you have a wonderful family!!!!! 

[Yaz88]

You know, it doesn't even matter. I've done my work on me and I will continue to despite what any reader says. The truth is that in a little more than a week, I will have a house full of people celebrating Thanksgiving. I will have my 2 adult children arranging their schedules to not only celebrate the holiday at home, but to come over days early to help me cook, bake and clean by their own choice. I have prepared my menu and started grocery shopping. I have plans for black Friday Christmas shopping, decorating the house that weekend for Christmas, pull out "Fiddle"...our friendly elf on a shelf who keeps my son's behavior at bay before Santa comes, and I have an appointment for Christmas portraits of the kids (yes, even the 30 year old!) that same weekend. I will squeeze in some work for my job, because I am needed there and I take pride in that as well. I really do have a damn good life.

Also, I know that my POI will be sitting home over the holidays hoping that the 2 entitled kids he raised will remember to call on the holiday. He'll be heating a frozen lasagna and drinking (more than a few) beers and maybe watching a football game or some other sport alone. It's sad. But I know this to be true. He could have been with us, but that was his choice. He's waiting for his life to fix itself. Or waiting for God to fix it for him. I'm not waiting anymore for life to happen to me. It's just too damn short.

I’m super happy for you, Fidget!  I’m in the same boat where my life has really taken off.  It’s really great to be in the position of being choosey on who gets my attention.  It’s also great to finally be selfish and to choose me and what makes me happy.  Hard lessons to learn.