Wait for contact or make contact?

[Girly1998]

Yep diff strokes for diff folks. Definitely depends on the persons involved (both), climate and situation.
 

For me, If all was going well I’d def say yes if I was proposed to in 3 months and marry in a year - hell Im old (39) lol. I dont open slowly at all - I’m pretty much an open book/person (hence all my posts on this board being wide open hahaha)

If I was 25 maybe I’d be willing to wait 3 years, but I ain’t got time for that. I’m established and ready

It’s all so weird lol because - I swear society would say - if a couple married in less than a year and divorced 5 years later - the main thing that we would say is “well they didnt know each other well” - but they were married for 5 years tho  lol. On the flip side, a couple married for 15 years, gets a divorce (dated 3-4 years prior) but yet, one of the folks in the marriage finds out something out the person they never knew about (like lets say having a whole nuther family across town). So the getting to know part is realllllly subjective on how Open both ppl are. The slower people are to open up the slower it will go....(these werent the greatest examples but ya get the point lol).

Ive known folks that dated for 7 years, got married and divorced in less than a year. It’s almost like the longer you date the likelihood of the marriage not lasting as long.

But again diff strokes man and I respect that 

My sister got engaged and married in 3 months. A year later had a baby. Still both in love. I have several ppl I know personally that got engaged in less than a year and have been married for 25 years - even after a break up. One friend was on a trip, crying her eyes out after a break up and met her now husband on that same vacation. It does happen. How well can you ever really know anyone? You can’t. But if you both feel you are the right match then wallah - magic. Who knows if that person already knew the person from the past? Or they cheated and were already with that person and the marry? Or just have an instant connection. Some people move on faster because they were already over the relationship when they were in it. Honestly I can’t put a timeframe on love and anything can happen...anything.


As a matter of fact I wouldn’t find it strange if someone was engaged after a year, I mean is there a set time just to propose? I’ve seen time and time again, guys leaving one relationship and in a matter of months become engaged when they met the right one - this happened to one of my friends as well (6 months post break up he was engaged and they have been married 3 years and counting with a baby)

We can find it strange all day but it doesn’t change anything lol

I’d say for those waiting on contact - curious why are you waiting? I’d call the poi up to put yourself out of the waiting misery. Ive seen some folks on the board that haven’t heard from their poi in up to a  year and are surprised they get engaged or married or something - (I honestly don’t see how it is a surprise when you have been out of contact for 365 days) but - Are we just waiting out of ego? Just curious.

I was in the situation 3 years ago..waiting on contact for 4 months. I did reach out first because I didn’t want to wait any longer (this was the first and LAST time I’ll wait on some contact smh).

Don’t let your ego get in the way if you want to know something straight up - what do you have to lose anyway? They aren’t around anyway. And then, please don’t fall in the trap where you find out that they have moved on, then keep calling readers for them to tell you that they will break up from their current significant other and come back ...it’s a terrible cycle that never ends positively.

i would find it strange if after a year theyre already engaged. a year is not that long esp if it was someone significant and myself and all the men ive dated dont just move on just like that. maybe i just find it strange because i dont move on easily if it was someone i love and i always need a while for myself let alone someone else. i would never be engaged to someone within a year of my previous relationship. do you really know someone after a year. its not even that long. but thats just me. i dont like jumping into things. it takes me a year to even start to feel like i may love the person.

i get it lol i know it happens just saying for me personally its strange. I dont get it but whatever works for other people. I have to be with someone i have an instant connection to but i won't get married 3 months later i dont care what the connection is. im not saying it cant work im just saying its not how i am and if someone tells me i love you after 3 months id probably run the other way. a man cannot know im the one after 3 months of knowing me because i dont open up till i trust someone and that takes years sometimes depending on the situation. like i said i open up very slowly but it happens when i break up as well. i move on slowly. thats why i originally said i dont think a year is that long even if youre out of contact. but it depends on the person.

I would also get married within a year too if I felt it. I believe in “when you know you know.” If you speak to most older couples you’ll find it was pretty common to get married so quickly. My parents married in 3 months. Granted, they divorced but it was 16 years later and nothing to do with them getting married quickly.

[ladya]

Yep diff strokes for diff folks. Definitely depends on the persons involved (both), climate and situation.
 

For me, If all was going well I’d def say yes if I was proposed to in 3 months and marry in a year - hell Im old (39) lol. I dont open slowly at all - I’m pretty much an open book/person (hence all my posts on this board being wide open hahaha)

If I was 25 maybe I’d be willing to wait 3 years, but I ain’t got time for that. I’m established and ready

It’s all so weird lol because - I swear society would say - if a couple married in less than a year and divorced 5 years later - the main thing that we would say is “well they didnt know each other well” - but they were married for 5 years tho  lol. On the flip side, a couple married for 15 years, gets a divorce (dated 3-4 years prior) but yet, one of the folks in the marriage finds out something out the person they never knew about (like lets say having a whole nuther family across town). So the getting to know part is realllllly subjective on how Open both ppl are. The slower people are to open up the slower it will go....(these werent the greatest examples but ya get the point lol).

Ive known folks that dated for 7 years, got married and divorced in less than a year. It’s almost like the longer you date the likelihood of the marriage not lasting as long.

But again diff strokes man and I respect that 

My sister got engaged and married in 3 months. A year later had a baby. Still both in love. I have several ppl I know personally that got engaged in less than a year and have been married for 25 years - even after a break up. One friend was on a trip, crying her eyes out after a break up and met her now husband on that same vacation. It does happen. How well can you ever really know anyone? You can’t. But if you both feel you are the right match then wallah - magic. Who knows if that person already knew the person from the past? Or they cheated and were already with that person and the marry? Or just have an instant connection. Some people move on faster because they were already over the relationship when they were in it. Honestly I can’t put a timeframe on love and anything can happen...anything.


As a matter of fact I wouldn’t find it strange if someone was engaged after a year, I mean is there a set time just to propose? I’ve seen time and time again, guys leaving one relationship and in a matter of months become engaged when they met the right one - this happened to one of my friends as well (6 months post break up he was engaged and they have been married 3 years and counting with a baby)

We can find it strange all day but it doesn’t change anything lol

I’d say for those waiting on contact - curious why are you waiting? I’d call the poi up to put yourself out of the waiting misery. Ive seen some folks on the board that haven’t heard from their poi in up to a  year and are surprised they get engaged or married or something - (I honestly don’t see how it is a surprise when you have been out of contact for 365 days) but - Are we just waiting out of ego? Just curious.

I was in the situation 3 years ago..waiting on contact for 4 months. I did reach out first because I didn’t want to wait any longer (this was the first and LAST time I’ll wait on some contact smh).

Don’t let your ego get in the way if you want to know something straight up - what do you have to lose anyway? They aren’t around anyway. And then, please don’t fall in the trap where you find out that they have moved on, then keep calling readers for them to tell you that they will break up from their current significant other and come back ...it’s a terrible cycle that never ends positively.

i would find it strange if after a year theyre already engaged. a year is not that long esp if it was someone significant and myself and all the men ive dated dont just move on just like that. maybe i just find it strange because i dont move on easily if it was someone i love and i always need a while for myself let alone someone else. i would never be engaged to someone within a year of my previous relationship. do you really know someone after a year. its not even that long. but thats just me. i dont like jumping into things. it takes me a year to even start to feel like i may love the person.

i get it lol i know it happens just saying for me personally its strange. I dont get it but whatever works for other people. I have to be with someone i have an instant connection to but i won't get married 3 months later i dont care what the connection is. im not saying it cant work im just saying its not how i am and if someone tells me i love you after 3 months id probably run the other way. a man cannot know im the one after 3 months of knowing me because i dont open up till i trust someone and that takes years sometimes depending on the situation. like i said i open up very slowly but it happens when i break up as well. i move on slowly. thats why i originally said i dont think a year is that long even if youre out of contact. but it depends on the person.

I would also get married within a year too if I felt it. I believe in “when you know you know.” If you speak to most older couples you’ll find it was pretty common to get married so quickly. My parents married in 3 months. Granted, they divorced but it was 16 years later and nothing to do with them getting married quickly.

i don't believe that. i feel like we always feel like we know and this significant relationship is it until its not. no one goes into a relationship being like yep no we'll date for a year we'll break up and then ill meet my husband 6 months later lol. i always know within 5 minutes of meeting someone if they'll be in my life for a while or not but we never really know the "how or in what way" for sure. its only obvious in hindsight. its easy for people who ended up together to be like ye i knew from the beginning lol but theres plenty of people who knew from the beginning and didnt end up together.

[Girly1998]

Yep diff strokes for diff folks. Definitely depends on the persons involved (both), climate and situation.
 

For me, If all was going well I’d def say yes if I was proposed to in 3 months and marry in a year - hell Im old (39) lol. I dont open slowly at all - I’m pretty much an open book/person (hence all my posts on this board being wide open hahaha)

If I was 25 maybe I’d be willing to wait 3 years, but I ain’t got time for that. I’m established and ready

It’s all so weird lol because - I swear society would say - if a couple married in less than a year and divorced 5 years later - the main thing that we would say is “well they didnt know each other well” - but they were married for 5 years tho  lol. On the flip side, a couple married for 15 years, gets a divorce (dated 3-4 years prior) but yet, one of the folks in the marriage finds out something out the person they never knew about (like lets say having a whole nuther family across town). So the getting to know part is realllllly subjective on how Open both ppl are. The slower people are to open up the slower it will go....(these werent the greatest examples but ya get the point lol).

Ive known folks that dated for 7 years, got married and divorced in less than a year. It’s almost like the longer you date the likelihood of the marriage not lasting as long.

But again diff strokes man and I respect that 

My sister got engaged and married in 3 months. A year later had a baby. Still both in love. I have several ppl I know personally that got engaged in less than a year and have been married for 25 years - even after a break up. One friend was on a trip, crying her eyes out after a break up and met her now husband on that same vacation. It does happen. How well can you ever really know anyone? You can’t. But if you both feel you are the right match then wallah - magic. Who knows if that person already knew the person from the past? Or they cheated and were already with that person and the marry? Or just have an instant connection. Some people move on faster because they were already over the relationship when they were in it. Honestly I can’t put a timeframe on love and anything can happen...anything.


As a matter of fact I wouldn’t find it strange if someone was engaged after a year, I mean is there a set time just to propose? I’ve seen time and time again, guys leaving one relationship and in a matter of months become engaged when they met the right one - this happened to one of my friends as well (6 months post break up he was engaged and they have been married 3 years and counting with a baby)

We can find it strange all day but it doesn’t change anything lol

I’d say for those waiting on contact - curious why are you waiting? I’d call the poi up to put yourself out of the waiting misery. Ive seen some folks on the board that haven’t heard from their poi in up to a  year and are surprised they get engaged or married or something - (I honestly don’t see how it is a surprise when you have been out of contact for 365 days) but - Are we just waiting out of ego? Just curious.

I was in the situation 3 years ago..waiting on contact for 4 months. I did reach out first because I didn’t want to wait any longer (this was the first and LAST time I’ll wait on some contact smh).

Don’t let your ego get in the way if you want to know something straight up - what do you have to lose anyway? They aren’t around anyway. And then, please don’t fall in the trap where you find out that they have moved on, then keep calling readers for them to tell you that they will break up from their current significant other and come back ...it’s a terrible cycle that never ends positively.

i would find it strange if after a year theyre already engaged. a year is not that long esp if it was someone significant and myself and all the men ive dated dont just move on just like that. maybe i just find it strange because i dont move on easily if it was someone i love and i always need a while for myself let alone someone else. i would never be engaged to someone within a year of my previous relationship. do you really know someone after a year. its not even that long. but thats just me. i dont like jumping into things. it takes me a year to even start to feel like i may love the person.

i get it lol i know it happens just saying for me personally its strange. I dont get it but whatever works for other people. I have to be with someone i have an instant connection to but i won't get married 3 months later i dont care what the connection is. im not saying it cant work im just saying its not how i am and if someone tells me i love you after 3 months id probably run the other way. a man cannot know im the one after 3 months of knowing me because i dont open up till i trust someone and that takes years sometimes depending on the situation. like i said i open up very slowly but it happens when i break up as well. i move on slowly. thats why i originally said i dont think a year is that long even if youre out of contact. but it depends on the person.

I would also get married within a year too if I felt it. I believe in “when you know you know.” If you speak to most older couples you’ll find it was pretty common to get married so quickly. My parents married in 3 months. Granted, they divorced but it was 16 years later and nothing to do with them getting married quickly.

i don't believe that. i feel like we always feel like we know and this significant relationship is it until its not. no one goes into a relationship being like yep no we'll date for a year we'll break up and then ill meet my husband 6 months later lol. i always know within 5 minutes of meeting someone if they'll be in my life for a while or not but we never really know the "how or in what way" for sure. its only obvious in hindsight. its easy for people who ended up together to be like ye i knew from the beginning lol but theres plenty of people who knew from the beginning and didnt end up together.

I guess but I don’t think dating for 5 years vs 5 months results in a better outcome. Obviously if you’re together 5 months and fight every other day but still blindly get married your chances aren’t so hot.

[Sparkle002]

Girl I beat you! I usually know within a millisecond LMAO.

But yeah a “person of significance” doesnt necessarily mean marriage for sure. I definitely can feel if a person is gonna be significant in my life or not (some people call these soulmates - which by now I hope ppl understand that this does not mean that you will marry this person, its usually someone of significance you learn from - either good or bad - it more or less describes the relationship type energetically (bad relationships are usually called a karmic relationship) - but aside from all that (because I know not everyone believes in that stuff) - Ill just say “significant”.

But yeah there are ppl who felt there was something significant about this person and dont end up together - I dont believe that even with that feeling that it means being together in some kind of committed long term way. I feel with my POI 1, I knew he was significant in my life but I knew we wouldnt be together (not because of readings) but because of the lifestyle he offered. I didnt want all that...(new baby, grown kids and a crazy BM). Hell I was significant in HIS life lol - designed his logo for his biz, created a website and biz cards for him!

BUT - for those who do end up getting married - it may be fair to say that there was something that they did feel for each other or have some sense of “knowing” they were significant...But overall you are definitely right that most times we dont know in which way until it happens or doesnt happen (meaning being committed)

(Sorry what was it that you didnt believe? Didn’t know which part of the discussion you were referring to lol)

Yep diff strokes for diff folks. Definitely depends on the persons involved (both), climate and situation.
 

For me, If all was going well I’d def say yes if I was proposed to in 3 months and marry in a year - hell Im old (39) lol. I dont open slowly at all - I’m pretty much an open book/person (hence all my posts on this board being wide open hahaha)

If I was 25 maybe I’d be willing to wait 3 years, but I ain’t got time for that. I’m established and ready

It’s all so weird lol because - I swear society would say - if a couple married in less than a year and divorced 5 years later - the main thing that we would say is “well they didnt know each other well” - but they were married for 5 years tho  lol. On the flip side, a couple married for 15 years, gets a divorce (dated 3-4 years prior) but yet, one of the folks in the marriage finds out something out the person they never knew about (like lets say having a whole nuther family across town). So the getting to know part is realllllly subjective on how Open both ppl are. The slower people are to open up the slower it will go....(these werent the greatest examples but ya get the point lol).

Ive known folks that dated for 7 years, got married and divorced in less than a year. It’s almost like the longer you date the likelihood of the marriage not lasting as long.

But again diff strokes man and I respect that 

My sister got engaged and married in 3 months. A year later had a baby. Still both in love. I have several ppl I know personally that got engaged in less than a year and have been married for 25 years - even after a break up. One friend was on a trip, crying her eyes out after a break up and met her now husband on that same vacation. It does happen. How well can you ever really know anyone? You can’t. But if you both feel you are the right match then wallah - magic. Who knows if that person already knew the person from the past? Or they cheated and were already with that person and the marry? Or just have an instant connection. Some people move on faster because they were already over the relationship when they were in it. Honestly I can’t put a timeframe on love and anything can happen...anything.


As a matter of fact I wouldn’t find it strange if someone was engaged after a year, I mean is there a set time just to propose? I’ve seen time and time again, guys leaving one relationship and in a matter of months become engaged when they met the right one - this happened to one of my friends as well (6 months post break up he was engaged and they have been married 3 years and counting with a baby)

We can find it strange all day but it doesn’t change anything lol

I’d say for those waiting on contact - curious why are you waiting? I’d call the poi up to put yourself out of the waiting misery. Ive seen some folks on the board that haven’t heard from their poi in up to a  year and are surprised they get engaged or married or something - (I honestly don’t see how it is a surprise when you have been out of contact for 365 days) but - Are we just waiting out of ego? Just curious.

I was in the situation 3 years ago..waiting on contact for 4 months. I did reach out first because I didn’t want to wait any longer (this was the first and LAST time I’ll wait on some contact smh).

Don’t let your ego get in the way if you want to know something straight up - what do you have to lose anyway? They aren’t around anyway. And then, please don’t fall in the trap where you find out that they have moved on, then keep calling readers for them to tell you that they will break up from their current significant other and come back ...it’s a terrible cycle that never ends positively.

i would find it strange if after a year theyre already engaged. a year is not that long esp if it was someone significant and myself and all the men ive dated dont just move on just like that. maybe i just find it strange because i dont move on easily if it was someone i love and i always need a while for myself let alone someone else. i would never be engaged to someone within a year of my previous relationship. do you really know someone after a year. its not even that long. but thats just me. i dont like jumping into things. it takes me a year to even start to feel like i may love the person.

i get it lol i know it happens just saying for me personally its strange. I dont get it but whatever works for other people. I have to be with someone i have an instant connection to but i won't get married 3 months later i dont care what the connection is. im not saying it cant work im just saying its not how i am and if someone tells me i love you after 3 months id probably run the other way. a man cannot know im the one after 3 months of knowing me because i dont open up till i trust someone and that takes years sometimes depending on the situation. like i said i open up very slowly but it happens when i break up as well. i move on slowly. thats why i originally said i dont think a year is that long even if youre out of contact. but it depends on the person.

I would also get married within a year too if I felt it. I believe in “when you know you know.” If you speak to most older couples you’ll find it was pretty common to get married so quickly. My parents married in 3 months. Granted, they divorced but it was 16 years later and nothing to do with them getting married quickly.

i don't believe that. i feel like we always feel like we know and this significant relationship is it until its not. no one goes into a relationship being like yep no we'll date for a year we'll break up and then ill meet my husband 6 months later lol. i always know within 5 minutes of meeting someone if they'll be in my life for a while or not but we never really know the "how or in what way" for sure. its only obvious in hindsight. its easy for people who ended up together to be like ye i knew from the beginning lol but theres plenty of people who knew from the beginning and didnt end up together.

[Girly1998]

I tried to make contact and it backfired horribly. All of the male psychics I spoke with told me not to and they were right. Some female psychics suggested I contact him and even told me what to say and predicted how he would respond. They were dead wrong.

Every situation is different. You just have to go with your own instincts on what to do.

Curious how did it backfire? I don’t understand. Are you meaning it didn’t go the way you expected?
Do think it would’ve been better not to reach out and never know anything? I guess (to me) I wouldn’t reach out if I moved on and wasn’t waiting on contact ..otherwise if I’m waiting I’d have to put myself out of misery no matter if it wasn’t something I didn’t want to hear

Also, how did you reach out and how long were you out of contact? Was your gut telling you not to reach out? What female psychic told you to initiate the communication?

I wrote to him and at that point it had been about 6 or 7 months. Angelica (Angelbaby) and Judi both suggested contacting him, and some other female psychics, I don't remember their names. Angelica's advice was what backfired the worst. He lashed out in a really nasty way. Yes my gut was telling me not to do it.

Ouch I’m sorry. Was that out of character for him or did you expect that kind of response?

[sawthelight]

For me, I never reached out to first poi after I stopped communicating with him. I was tempted to many times, but then I reminded myself that his silence was kind of my answer.....At this point, it’s been so long, but I’m not tempted to anymore.

Of course, everyone is different and it depends on your individual situation.

[Girly1998]

For me, I never reached out to first poi after I stopped communicating with him. I was tempted to many times, but then I reminded myself that his silence was kind of my answer.....At this point, it’s been so long, but I’m not tempted to anymore.

Of course, everyone is different and it depends on your individual situation.

I feel like this is the case for most. I just feel like a lot of the time, from experience and others stories, the other person doesn’t reach out for the same reason you don’t. They may also think that bridge is burned.

Good for you for not wanting to anymore though! It really is such a freeing feeling when you just no longer care about someone you once was stuck on.

[Girly1998]

I tried to make contact and it backfired horribly. All of the male psychics I spoke with told me not to and they were right. Some female psychics suggested I contact him and even told me what to say and predicted how he would respond. They were dead wrong.

Every situation is different. You just have to go with your own instincts on what to do.

Curious how did it backfire? I don’t understand. Are you meaning it didn’t go the way you expected?
Do think it would’ve been better not to reach out and never know anything? I guess (to me) I wouldn’t reach out if I moved on and wasn’t waiting on contact ..otherwise if I’m waiting I’d have to put myself out of misery no matter if it wasn’t something I didn’t want to hear

Also, how did you reach out and how long were you out of contact? Was your gut telling you not to reach out? What female psychic told you to initiate the communication?

I wrote to him and at that point it had been about 6 or 7 months. Angelica (Angelbaby) and Judi both suggested contacting him, and some other female psychics, I don't remember their names. Angelica's advice was what backfired the worst. He lashed out in a really nasty way. Yes my gut was telling me not to do it.

Ouch I’m sorry. Was that out of character for him or did you expect that kind of response?

It was totally in character and I prety much expected it, but it still took me by surprise how nasty it was.

6-7 months and he was still nasty? I don’t know what your situation was with him or how it ended but if someone is still hateful that long after then that speaks volumes. I hope that provided some closure for you!

[sawthelight]

Well I still care....i really had intense feelings for him, and they haven’t gone away believe it or not...I just don’t have the desire to reach out. I figure if he wanted to speak, he could make the effort....

[Girly1998]

Well I still care....i really had intense feelings for him, and they haven’t gone away believe it or not...I just don’t have the desire to reach out. I figure if he wanted to speak, he could make the effort....

It goes both ways too though! I agree with Sparkle on it being better to reach out and know than to not and be left wondering. If your gut tells you no then I’d say leave it but if you think there’s even a possibility then go for it. At the end of the day, you won’t lose anything.

[ladya]

Girl I beat you! I usually know within a millisecond LMAO.

But yeah a “person of significance” doesnt necessarily mean marriage for sure. I definitely can feel if a person is gonna be significant in my life or not (some people call these soulmates - which by now I hope ppl understand that this does not mean that you will marry this person, its usually someone of significance you learn from - either good or bad - it more or less describes the relationship type energetically (bad relationships are usually called a karmic relationship) - but aside from all that (because I know not everyone believes in that stuff) - Ill just say “significant”.

But yeah there are ppl who felt there was something significant about this person and dont end up together - I dont believe that even with that feeling that it means being together in some kind of committed long term way. I feel with my POI 1, I knew he was significant in my life but I knew we wouldnt be together (not because of readings) but because of the lifestyle he offered. I didnt want all that...(new baby, grown kids and a crazy BM). Hell I was significant in HIS life lol - designed his logo for his biz, created a website and biz cards for him!

BUT - for those who do end up getting married - it may be fair to say that there was something that they did feel for each other or have some sense of “knowing” they were significant...But overall you are definitely right that most times we dont know in which way until it happens or doesnt happen (meaning being committed)

(Sorry what was it that you didnt believe? Didn’t know which part of the discussion you were referring to lol)

Yep diff strokes for diff folks. Definitely depends on the persons involved (both), climate and situation.
 

For me, If all was going well I’d def say yes if I was proposed to in 3 months and marry in a year - hell Im old (39) lol. I dont open slowly at all - I’m pretty much an open book/person (hence all my posts on this board being wide open hahaha)

If I was 25 maybe I’d be willing to wait 3 years, but I ain’t got time for that. I’m established and ready

It’s all so weird lol because - I swear society would say - if a couple married in less than a year and divorced 5 years later - the main thing that we would say is “well they didnt know each other well” - but they were married for 5 years tho  lol. On the flip side, a couple married for 15 years, gets a divorce (dated 3-4 years prior) but yet, one of the folks in the marriage finds out something out the person they never knew about (like lets say having a whole nuther family across town). So the getting to know part is realllllly subjective on how Open both ppl are. The slower people are to open up the slower it will go....(these werent the greatest examples but ya get the point lol).

Ive known folks that dated for 7 years, got married and divorced in less than a year. It’s almost like the longer you date the likelihood of the marriage not lasting as long.

But again diff strokes man and I respect that 

My sister got engaged and married in 3 months. A year later had a baby. Still both in love. I have several ppl I know personally that got engaged in less than a year and have been married for 25 years - even after a break up. One friend was on a trip, crying her eyes out after a break up and met her now husband on that same vacation. It does happen. How well can you ever really know anyone? You can’t. But if you both feel you are the right match then wallah - magic. Who knows if that person already knew the person from the past? Or they cheated and were already with that person and the marry? Or just have an instant connection. Some people move on faster because they were already over the relationship when they were in it. Honestly I can’t put a timeframe on love and anything can happen...anything.


As a matter of fact I wouldn’t find it strange if someone was engaged after a year, I mean is there a set time just to propose? I’ve seen time and time again, guys leaving one relationship and in a matter of months become engaged when they met the right one - this happened to one of my friends as well (6 months post break up he was engaged and they have been married 3 years and counting with a baby)

We can find it strange all day but it doesn’t change anything lol

I’d say for those waiting on contact - curious why are you waiting? I’d call the poi up to put yourself out of the waiting misery. Ive seen some folks on the board that haven’t heard from their poi in up to a  year and are surprised they get engaged or married or something - (I honestly don’t see how it is a surprise when you have been out of contact for 365 days) but - Are we just waiting out of ego? Just curious.

I was in the situation 3 years ago..waiting on contact for 4 months. I did reach out first because I didn’t want to wait any longer (this was the first and LAST time I’ll wait on some contact smh).

Don’t let your ego get in the way if you want to know something straight up - what do you have to lose anyway? They aren’t around anyway. And then, please don’t fall in the trap where you find out that they have moved on, then keep calling readers for them to tell you that they will break up from their current significant other and come back ...it’s a terrible cycle that never ends positively.

i would find it strange if after a year theyre already engaged. a year is not that long esp if it was someone significant and myself and all the men ive dated dont just move on just like that. maybe i just find it strange because i dont move on easily if it was someone i love and i always need a while for myself let alone someone else. i would never be engaged to someone within a year of my previous relationship. do you really know someone after a year. its not even that long. but thats just me. i dont like jumping into things. it takes me a year to even start to feel like i may love the person.

i get it lol i know it happens just saying for me personally its strange. I dont get it but whatever works for other people. I have to be with someone i have an instant connection to but i won't get married 3 months later i dont care what the connection is. im not saying it cant work im just saying its not how i am and if someone tells me i love you after 3 months id probably run the other way. a man cannot know im the one after 3 months of knowing me because i dont open up till i trust someone and that takes years sometimes depending on the situation. like i said i open up very slowly but it happens when i break up as well. i move on slowly. thats why i originally said i dont think a year is that long even if youre out of contact. but it depends on the person.

I would also get married within a year too if I felt it. I believe in “when you know you know.” If you speak to most older couples you’ll find it was pretty common to get married so quickly. My parents married in 3 months. Granted, they divorced but it was 16 years later and nothing to do with them getting married quickly.

i don't believe that. i feel like we always feel like we know and this significant relationship is it until its not. no one goes into a relationship being like yep no we'll date for a year we'll break up and then ill meet my husband 6 months later lol. i always know within 5 minutes of meeting someone if they'll be in my life for a while or not but we never really know the "how or in what way" for sure. its only obvious in hindsight. its easy for people who ended up together to be like ye i knew from the beginning lol but theres plenty of people who knew from the beginning and didnt end up together.

Ye this is exactly how I feel. I meant I don’t believe when people are like I knew from the start because of exactly what you said. There was that knowing that we feel but ultimately You never know until hindsight what the relationship is or how it unfolds down the road. I used to think that feeling meant this is it but it didn’t but like you said I know when someone is going to be significant upon meeting them.

[Star_01]

I think that ultimately, it's upto you to decide what's right with reaching out to someone, and to sit on it not making rash decisions. If you are looking for an answer and just are fed up then it's probably best to reach out with something and at least you have the closure. I reached out to my newest POI multiple times and he is just ignoring me, so I kinda got my answer which was in total contrast to the "he's scared/he is worried he will reach out and you'll reject him/he misses you" crap I got told.

The problem is, readers have told me themselves they advised someone either not to reach out or to send a lighthearted message and the woman is texting and ringing him like 50 times a day wondering why it has pushed him away more.

[Girly1998]

I think that ultimately, it's upto you to decide what's right with reaching out to someone, and to sit on it not making rash decisions. If you are looking for an answer and just are fed up then it's probably best to reach out with something and at least you have the closure. I reached out to my newest POI multiple times and he is just ignoring me, so I kinda got my answer which was in total contrast to the "he's scared/he is worried he will reach out and you'll reject him/he misses you" crap I got told.

The problem is, readers have told me themselves they advised someone either not to reach out or to send a lighthearted message and the woman is texting and ringing him like 50 times a day wondering why it has pushed him away more.

That’s what I’m scared of. I’d rather a rude response than no response at all tbh. It’s not in his character to respond harshly but he’s definitely an ignorer. I don’t believe readers when I’m told he’ll reach out but I also don’t believe that we’ll never talk again either.

[Star_01]

I think that ultimately, it's upto you to decide what's right with reaching out to someone, and to sit on it not making rash decisions. If you are looking for an answer and just are fed up then it's probably best to reach out with something and at least you have the closure. I reached out to my newest POI multiple times and he is just ignoring me, so I kinda got my answer which was in total contrast to the "he's scared/he is worried he will reach out and you'll reject him/he misses you" crap I got told.

The problem is, readers have told me themselves they advised someone either not to reach out or to send a lighthearted message and the woman is texting and ringing him like 50 times a day wondering why it has pushed him away more.

That’s what I’m scared of. I’d rather a rude response than no response at all tbh. It’s not in his character to respond harshly but he’s definitely an ignorer. I don’t believe readers when I’m told he’ll reach out but I also don’t believe that we’ll never talk again either.

I feel like my POI is playing games with and punishing me. When I last contacted him I texted him to ask if we could stay as friends or if he wanted no contact again and I'd respect an answer and leave him alone delete his number etc. He just read and ignored all of my messages whereas in other relationships that were very toxic the guys at the end had a decency to at least be honest or leave things like adults. By ignoring me, my friends and a couple of readers have said it's like he won't give me an answer incase he needs me some other time and wants to keep me hanging. My exact words were I'm stuck here not sure what's going on could you at least tell me.. And nothing. So he couldn't even be decent enough to make a response and tell me where things were at, he hasn't blocked me either on anything.

With your situation I don't really know it, so I can't really comment but it depends on if your guy was genuine and not a dick like my guy is. If he does ignore you, he may genuinely be in his own mindset, need his space or time to think. But hopefully he wouldn't ignore you and leave you hanging either.

[Girly1998]

I think that ultimately, it's upto you to decide what's right with reaching out to someone, and to sit on it not making rash decisions. If you are looking for an answer and just are fed up then it's probably best to reach out with something and at least you have the closure. I reached out to my newest POI multiple times and he is just ignoring me, so I kinda got my answer which was in total contrast to the "he's scared/he is worried he will reach out and you'll reject him/he misses you" crap I got told.

The problem is, readers have told me themselves they advised someone either not to reach out or to send a lighthearted message and the woman is texting and ringing him like 50 times a day wondering why it has pushed him away more.

That’s what I’m scared of. I’d rather a rude response than no response at all tbh. It’s not in his character to respond harshly but he’s definitely an ignorer. I don’t believe readers when I’m told he’ll reach out but I also don’t believe that we’ll never talk again either.

I feel like my POI is playing games with and punishing me. When I last contacted him I texted him to ask if we could stay as friends or if he wanted no contact again and I'd respect an answer and leave him alone delete his number etc. He just read and ignored all of my messages whereas in other relationships that were very toxic the guys at the end had a decency to at least be honest or leave things like adults. By ignoring me, my friends and a couple of readers have said it's like he won't give me an answer incase he needs me some other time and wants to keep me hanging. My exact words were I'm stuck here not sure what's going on could you at least tell me.. And nothing. So he couldn't even be decent enough to make a response and tell me where things were at, he hasn't blocked me either on anything.

With your situation I don't really know it, so I can't really comment but it depends on if your guy was genuine and not a dick like my guy is. If he does ignore you, he may genuinely be in his own mindset, need his space or time to think. But hopefully he wouldn't ignore you and leave you hanging either.

Before I got to that point in your message I thought the same; he’s either not giving an answer for that purpose or wants you to keep chasing to feed his own ego and to feel like he’s in control. To not even give a “yes, leave me alone” is pretty immature.

When me and my guy broke up we still talked. We actually had such a terrible fight that led to it but a couple days later I needed his help and he was there. I kept pushing though because he kept saying he “wanted to think about it” and that drove me insane to say the least. We ended up having a pretty rough fight, we both said some terrible things and I then blocked him. His parents also had some influence on our last altercation so I got that against me as well.