Wait for contact or make contact?

[Girly1998]

For those waiting for/have waited for POI to come around- have you tried to initiate the communication? What was your approach? Did it go in your favor?

My situation is pretty tricky- we both have reasons to believe the other doesn’t want anything to do with each other.

Kisha brought up a male energy that has regrets and is hesitant/doesn’t now how to approach me, and also wants to provide an explanation on why they acted the way they did. She did not provide a timeframe because the energy was “lingering” and couldn’t see whether they would act on it or not. But I’m wondering if she may have  read my energy as his or if we are both just in the same mindset right now.

[maggs30]

The approach would depend on how long there has been no contact and how it ended. With mine I ended up initiating contact after our fight. After 8 days I sent a meme about building a better future for yourself kind of inspirational thing. He immediately got the text but didn't reply and then i talked to him at work about 4 days later completely business related and it was like no fight had ever happened. So a few days later I showed up at his door and he pulled me into his apartment and we had our heart to heart talk. I'm a very impatient person though. It has been 3 days since then and I have not reached back out but I probably will in a few more days with something stupid again. If you reach out and he's not open I wouldn't push it. Thankfully mine is open but we ate pretty much in an ongoing thing that's rocky.

[Cteebaby1]

Well I have a kid in my situationship. Ever since we have a fight he hasn’t reached out at all. I’ve been the once calling every week which I’m about to stop because every time we talk we still argue about the past. So this upcoming week I will not call anymore and see what happens

[Sparkle002]

I’d say for those waiting on contact - curious why are you waiting? I’d call the poi up to put yourself out of the waiting misery. Ive seen some folks on the board that haven’t heard from their poi in up to a  year and are surprised they get engaged or married or something - (I honestly don’t see how it is a surprise when you have been out of contact for 365 days) but - Are we just waiting out of ego? Just curious.

I was in the situation 3 years ago..waiting on contact for 4 months. I did reach out first because I didn’t want to wait any longer (this was the first and LAST time I’ll wait on some contact smh).

Don’t let your ego get in the way if you want to know something straight up - what do you have to lose anyway? They aren’t around anyway. And then, please don’t fall in the trap where you find out that they have moved on, then keep calling readers for them to tell you that they will break up from their current significant other and come back ...it’s a terrible cycle that never ends positively.

[Girly1998]

I’d say for those waiting on contact - curious why are you waiting? I’d call the poi up to put yourself out of the waiting misery. Ive seen some folks on the board that haven’t heard from their poi in up to a  year and are surprised they get engaged or married or something - (I honestly don’t see how it is a surprise when you have been out of contact for 365 days) but - Are we just waiting out of ego? Just curious.

I was in the situation 3 years ago..waiting on contact for 4 months. I did reach out first because I didn’t want to wait any longer (this was the first and LAST time I’ll wait on some contact smh).

Don’t let your ego get in the way if you want to know something straight up - what do you have to lose anyway? They aren’t around anyway. And then, please don’t fall in the trap where you find out that they have moved on, then keep calling readers for them to tell you that they will break up from their current significant other and come back ...it’s a terrible cycle that never ends positively.

I get this and would probably tell a friend the same thing. I think my reason is mainly ego. I know at this point a no response would hurt too much. I also kinda feel as if I’m not ready yet either? Like I imagine the conversation we would have if we got the chance to apologize to each other and it always results in me defending myself and pointing out what he did wrong lol. I think I still hold onto anger and if by some miracle he does want to reconcile- I don’t think I’m in the right place to put any energy into a relationship with him or anybody for that matter.

[Girly1998]

For those waiting for/have waited for POI to come around- have you tried to initiate the communication? What was your approach? Did it go in your favor?

My situation is pretty tricky- we both have reasons to believe the other doesn’t want anything to do with each other.

Kisha brought up a male energy that has regrets and is hesitant/doesn’t now how to approach me, and also wants to provide an explanation on why they acted the way they did. She did not provide a timeframe because the energy was “lingering” and couldn’t see whether they would act on it or not. But I’m wondering if she may have  read my energy as his or if we are both just in the same mindset right now.

I haven't posted in here in ages but, I saw your post and decided to log in for a reply. After almost 8 months of no contact, initiated by me, I decided to reach out to my POI despite the fact that one of the predictions I was supposed to see happen this month was going to be me hearing from them. I woke up last Monday with this urge to reach out and this feeling that if I didn't I would never hear from that person ever again. I sent a ''Hey'' and about half an hour later the person responded with a ''Hi''. I asked them how they were, and all those formalities. One of the things he said was that he was surprised to hear from me and he asked me how come I reached out because he was curious. I downplayed it to simply feeling like doing it and I asked him how come he has never reached out? The answer that came was revealing. The POI told me he has been thinking of reaching out for a couple of weeks now, that it had been anxiety what stopped him, and that he thought I wouldn't wanna talk to him.

What came after surprised me. POI apologized for how things went down and said that he has been putting himself down for how things ended because I am ''such a special person'' etc, etc. This is huge given the fact POI is not someone to openly talk about emotions like this. It was a nice, heartfelt conversation.

Nobody told me that this apology would happen. Nobody told me that I would be the one to reach out, and that once communication was reestablished POI was going to be out of the third party situation he was in. In fact, one reader I trusted told me that when he would reach out he would still be with them, sorting that relationship out, etc.

What I am trying to say is, every case varies but, quite often we think the other person doesn't give a flying eff about us when in fact they do and they are just too afraid to make the first step. I am not advocating for everyone who's been out of contact to grab their phones now and start sending texts. All I'm saying is that these things happen and psychics, even with the most skills and good intentions can get only bits and pieces of the whole puzzle. That is when you have to stop, think, and decide if taking action via reaching out is worth it and plausible.

Had I not taken that risk I would probably never hear from POI nor would I have gotten the apology I had been waiting for so long so I could move on from the negativity that happened between us. On the other hand, not every apology will lead to reconciliation as friends or more. In my case, it seems POI just wanted to clear the air and that's that since we have not spoken since last Monday and I am not sure he will reach out again. Anything is possible I guess but I am not putting unnecessary effort if the other person is not.

I wish all of you who are going through no contact the best and may you find the courage to navigate your situations wisely.

Did anybody validate the way he was feeling? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a psychic actually telling somebody communication will only happen if you are the one that reaches out. I’ve always felt like we would never speak again unless I initiated contact because of the way things went down.

[helloworld]

Chiming in here because I learned my lesson listening to psychics who said don't contact and wait for him to initiate. I ended up waiting for him to initiate for a good 12 months. When I didn't hear from him, I reached out and he responded saying he was living with someone and getting engaged soon. As much as it hurt then, I am happy I contacted him because it gave me my closure and I could work on moving on.

My 2 cents - everyone's situation is unique but if you can, reach out. Honestly, in most cases it can't hurt even if they say they are with someone else. Men (I am a woman hence saying men) have insecurities too so for all you know they may be waiting for you to initiate contact. If they don't respond, you can assume they are not into you and at least try to move on.

Someone told me this one very recently which I found pretty helpful - life is too short so do what matters. If you like someone, tell them. If you want to talk to someone, reach out. Don't let fear or ego come in the way. After all it's better to make the move than live with regrets wondering what if...

[Sparkle002]

I tried to make contact and it backfired horribly. All of the male psychics I spoke with told me not to and they were right. Some female psychics suggested I contact him and even told me what to say and predicted how he would respond. They were dead wrong.

Every situation is different. You just have to go with your own instincts on what to do.

Curious how did it backfire? I don’t understand. Are you meaning it didn’t go the way you expected?
Do think it would’ve been better not to reach out and never know anything? I guess (to me) I wouldn’t reach out if I moved on and wasn’t waiting on contact ..otherwise if I’m waiting I’d have to put myself out of misery no matter if it wasn’t something I didn’t want to hear

[Girly1998]

I tried to make contact and it backfired horribly. All of the male psychics I spoke with told me not to and they were right. Some female psychics suggested I contact him and even told me what to say and predicted how he would respond. They were dead wrong.

Every situation is different. You just have to go with your own instincts on what to do.

Curious how did it backfire? I don’t understand. Are you meaning it didn’t go the way you expected?
Do think it would’ve been better not to reach out and never know anything? I guess (to me) I wouldn’t reach out if I moved on and wasn’t waiting on contact ..otherwise if I’m waiting I’d have to put myself out of misery no matter if it wasn’t something I didn’t want to hear

Also, how did you reach out and how long were you out of contact? Was your gut telling you not to reach out? What female psychic told you to initiate the communication?

[ladya]

I’d say for those waiting on contact - curious why are you waiting? I’d call the poi up to put yourself out of the waiting misery. Ive seen some folks on the board that haven’t heard from their poi in up to a  year and are surprised they get engaged or married or something - (I honestly don’t see how it is a surprise when you have been out of contact for 365 days) but - Are we just waiting out of ego? Just curious.

I was in the situation 3 years ago..waiting on contact for 4 months. I did reach out first because I didn’t want to wait any longer (this was the first and LAST time I’ll wait on some contact smh).

Don’t let your ego get in the way if you want to know something straight up - what do you have to lose anyway? They aren’t around anyway. And then, please don’t fall in the trap where you find out that they have moved on, then keep calling readers for them to tell you that they will break up from their current significant other and come back ...it’s a terrible cycle that never ends positively.

i would find it strange if after a year theyre already engaged. a year is not that long esp if it was someone significant and myself and all the men ive dated dont just move on just like that. maybe i just find it strange because i dont move on easily if it was someone i love and i always need a while for myself let alone someone else. i would never be engaged to someone within a year of my previous relationship. do you really know someone after a year. its not even that long. but thats just me. i dont like jumping into things. it takes me a year to even start to feel like i may love the person.

[Sparkle002]

My sister got engaged and married in 3 months. A year later had a baby. Still both in love. I have several ppl I know personally that got engaged in less than a year and have been married for 25 years - even after a break up. One friend was on a trip, crying her eyes out after a break up and met her now husband on that same vacation. It does happen. How well can you ever really know anyone? You can’t. But if you both feel you are the right match then wallah - magic. Who knows if that person already knew the person from the past? Or they cheated and were already with that person and the marry? Or just have an instant connection. Some people move on faster because they were already over the relationship when they were in it. Honestly I can’t put a timeframe on love and anything can happen...anything.


As a matter of fact I wouldn’t find it strange if someone was engaged after a year, I mean is there a set time just to propose? I’ve seen time and time again, guys leaving one relationship and in a matter of months become engaged when they met the right one - this happened to one of my friends as well (6 months post break up he was engaged and they have been married 3 years and counting with a baby)

We can find it strange all day but it doesn’t change anything lol

I’d say for those waiting on contact - curious why are you waiting? I’d call the poi up to put yourself out of the waiting misery. Ive seen some folks on the board that haven’t heard from their poi in up to a  year and are surprised they get engaged or married or something - (I honestly don’t see how it is a surprise when you have been out of contact for 365 days) but - Are we just waiting out of ego? Just curious.

I was in the situation 3 years ago..waiting on contact for 4 months. I did reach out first because I didn’t want to wait any longer (this was the first and LAST time I’ll wait on some contact smh).

Don’t let your ego get in the way if you want to know something straight up - what do you have to lose anyway? They aren’t around anyway. And then, please don’t fall in the trap where you find out that they have moved on, then keep calling readers for them to tell you that they will break up from their current significant other and come back ...it’s a terrible cycle that never ends positively.

i would find it strange if after a year theyre already engaged. a year is not that long esp if it was someone significant and myself and all the men ive dated dont just move on just like that. maybe i just find it strange because i dont move on easily if it was someone i love and i always need a while for myself let alone someone else. i would never be engaged to someone within a year of my previous relationship. do you really know someone after a year. its not even that long. but thats just me. i dont like jumping into things. it takes me a year to even start to feel like i may love the person.

[Cteebaby1]

Reading these like this reminds me that maybe it’s best to move on when someone gets mixed signals . Because when someone knows they want to be with you nothing is going to stop them . A guy/woman can treat u terribly then meet someone new and do everything right for them. I don’t understand ! Life I guess.

[Sparkle002]

Agree 100000 %!!

Reading these like this reminds me that maybe it’s best to move on when someone gets mixed signals . Because when someone knows they want to be with you nothing is going to stop them . A guy/woman can treat u terribly then meet someone new and do everything right for them. I don’t understand ! Life I guess.

[ladya]

My sister got engaged and married in 3 months. A year later had a baby. Still both in love. I have several ppl I know personally that got engaged in less than a year and have been married for 25 years - even after a break up. One friend was on a trip, crying her eyes out after a break up and met her now husband on that same vacation. It does happen. How well can you ever really know anyone? You can’t. But if you both feel you are the right match then wallah - magic. Who knows if that person already knew the person from the past? Or they cheated and were already with that person and the marry? Or just have an instant connection. Some people move on faster because they were already over the relationship when they were in it. Honestly I can’t put a timeframe on love and anything can happen...anything.


As a matter of fact I wouldn’t find it strange if someone was engaged after a year, I mean is there a set time just to propose? I’ve seen time and time again, guys leaving one relationship and in a matter of months become engaged when they met the right one - this happened to one of my friends as well (6 months post break up he was engaged and they have been married 3 years and counting with a baby)

We can find it strange all day but it doesn’t change anything lol

I’d say for those waiting on contact - curious why are you waiting? I’d call the poi up to put yourself out of the waiting misery. Ive seen some folks on the board that haven’t heard from their poi in up to a  year and are surprised they get engaged or married or something - (I honestly don’t see how it is a surprise when you have been out of contact for 365 days) but - Are we just waiting out of ego? Just curious.

I was in the situation 3 years ago..waiting on contact for 4 months. I did reach out first because I didn’t want to wait any longer (this was the first and LAST time I’ll wait on some contact smh).

Don’t let your ego get in the way if you want to know something straight up - what do you have to lose anyway? They aren’t around anyway. And then, please don’t fall in the trap where you find out that they have moved on, then keep calling readers for them to tell you that they will break up from their current significant other and come back ...it’s a terrible cycle that never ends positively.

i would find it strange if after a year theyre already engaged. a year is not that long esp if it was someone significant and myself and all the men ive dated dont just move on just like that. maybe i just find it strange because i dont move on easily if it was someone i love and i always need a while for myself let alone someone else. i would never be engaged to someone within a year of my previous relationship. do you really know someone after a year. its not even that long. but thats just me. i dont like jumping into things. it takes me a year to even start to feel like i may love the person.

i get it lol i know it happens just saying for me personally its strange. I dont get it but whatever works for other people. I have to be with someone i have an instant connection to but i won't get married 3 months later i dont care what the connection is. im not saying it cant work im just saying its not how i am and if someone tells me i love you after 3 months id probably run the other way. a man cannot know im the one after 3 months of knowing me because i dont open up till i trust someone and that takes years sometimes depending on the situation. like i said i open up very slowly but it happens when i break up as well. i move on slowly. thats why i originally said i dont think a year is that long even if youre out of contact. but it depends on the person.

[Sparkle002]

Yep diff strokes for diff folks. Definitely depends on the persons involved (both), climate and situation.
 

For me, If all was going well I’d def say yes if I was proposed to in 3 months and marry in a year - hell Im old (39) lol. I dont open slowly at all - I’m pretty much an open book/person (hence all my posts on this board being wide open hahaha)

If I was 25 maybe I’d be willing to wait 3 years, but I ain’t got time for that. I’m established and ready

It’s all so weird lol because - I swear society would say - if a couple married in less than a year and divorced 5 years later - the main thing that we would say is “well they didnt know each other well” - but they were married for 5 years tho  lol. On the flip side, a couple married for 15 years, gets a divorce (dated 3-4 years prior) but yet, one of the folks in the marriage finds out something out the person they never knew about (like lets say having a whole nuther family across town). So the getting to know part is realllllly subjective on how Open both ppl are. The slower people are to open up the slower it will go....(these werent the greatest examples but ya get the point lol).

Ive known folks that dated for 7 years, got married and divorced in less than a year. It’s almost like the longer you date the likelihood of the marriage not lasting as long.

But again diff strokes man and I respect that 

My sister got engaged and married in 3 months. A year later had a baby. Still both in love. I have several ppl I know personally that got engaged in less than a year and have been married for 25 years - even after a break up. One friend was on a trip, crying her eyes out after a break up and met her now husband on that same vacation. It does happen. How well can you ever really know anyone? You can’t. But if you both feel you are the right match then wallah - magic. Who knows if that person already knew the person from the past? Or they cheated and were already with that person and the marry? Or just have an instant connection. Some people move on faster because they were already over the relationship when they were in it. Honestly I can’t put a timeframe on love and anything can happen...anything.


As a matter of fact I wouldn’t find it strange if someone was engaged after a year, I mean is there a set time just to propose? I’ve seen time and time again, guys leaving one relationship and in a matter of months become engaged when they met the right one - this happened to one of my friends as well (6 months post break up he was engaged and they have been married 3 years and counting with a baby)

We can find it strange all day but it doesn’t change anything lol

I’d say for those waiting on contact - curious why are you waiting? I’d call the poi up to put yourself out of the waiting misery. Ive seen some folks on the board that haven’t heard from their poi in up to a  year and are surprised they get engaged or married or something - (I honestly don’t see how it is a surprise when you have been out of contact for 365 days) but - Are we just waiting out of ego? Just curious.

I was in the situation 3 years ago..waiting on contact for 4 months. I did reach out first because I didn’t want to wait any longer (this was the first and LAST time I’ll wait on some contact smh).

Don’t let your ego get in the way if you want to know something straight up - what do you have to lose anyway? They aren’t around anyway. And then, please don’t fall in the trap where you find out that they have moved on, then keep calling readers for them to tell you that they will break up from their current significant other and come back ...it’s a terrible cycle that never ends positively.

i would find it strange if after a year theyre already engaged. a year is not that long esp if it was someone significant and myself and all the men ive dated dont just move on just like that. maybe i just find it strange because i dont move on easily if it was someone i love and i always need a while for myself let alone someone else. i would never be engaged to someone within a year of my previous relationship. do you really know someone after a year. its not even that long. but thats just me. i dont like jumping into things. it takes me a year to even start to feel like i may love the person.

i get it lol i know it happens just saying for me personally its strange. I dont get it but whatever works for other people. I have to be with someone i have an instant connection to but i won't get married 3 months later i dont care what the connection is. im not saying it cant work im just saying its not how i am and if someone tells me i love you after 3 months id probably run the other way. a man cannot know im the one after 3 months of knowing me because i dont open up till i trust someone and that takes years sometimes depending on the situation. like i said i open up very slowly but it happens when i break up as well. i move on slowly. thats why i originally said i dont think a year is that long even if youre out of contact. but it depends on the person.