I’m dealing with a ghost situation
And I think something we need to remember is we’re dealing with is unexpressed anger and abandonment, plus now whatever trust issues and hang ups from whatever baggage of previous relationship. And remember we can’t even express our anger to the individual at hand because well... they’ve become a ghost.
So, I ... I’m going to blunt: I do not think what you’ve written is from your gut instinct/spiritual insight. There is way too much going on, too much back and forth and self doubt and caught still in fear. And if you feel that way, fine, but I see you questioning it... and remember this is part of that ghost course: They have you questioning everything you did know. If it was true inner gut intuition insight I think you would say, “he’s not coming back, that ok it’s not personal reflection of me.” And move along your day, and by pass psychics to begin with.
But here is what I can say and do know:
1. Ghosting is immature
2. It’s a reflection of them, not you
3. However, what you do after because of it is a reflection of you.
4. When you do do the right thing or act from your true gut instinct, and rise above, it rattles people to their core!
I want to say more... about using affirmations and I do think if you put a positive spin on the situation, or look for the positivity in this, they will help...ish and eventually give closure and confidence to move thru... but I feel I need to do eft, and also check myself (and of what I said was offensive take it with grain salt, I’m just projecting) here’s is my positive “even if I was ghosted I still have love and respect for myself” saying this is the only thing that keeps me from contacting them and looking like desperate fool trying to get answers from someone not even there
I get gut feelings on many situations and it has never proven me wrong once, I've ignored it every time and even been told by readers that I never trust my intuition and have ability to suss things out and should listen. It has nothing to do with fear, it is definitely my gut speaking. I also said to myself "oh you're just worrying as you're so pessimistic", but it was screaming at me all the time and I couldn't shake it off. I've said it before but all the readers were wrong, even QOC who is supposed to be good with the amount of 3rd parties around someone. I listened to them over my gut and I regret it, and I don't even need readings myself.
And that's why I'm skeptical of LOA, I've tried it in various ways and I don't believe you can manifest someone talking to and getting back together with you. Lots of people on this board are in unhealthy relationships deep down although wouldn't want to admit to that, and so for some situations, trying to manifest someone come back is just unrealistic. I've seen so many people practice LOA since I was on the board thinking it would get their POI back and they still are waiting for contact. A couple of people said on the Lanie Stevens thread and LOA on here that you can manipulate someone to try and contact, but you can't get them to get back with you. I'm sorry I just think some things are really unrealistic, I think we can all hold our hands up we have wanted an ex back who really wasn't (looking back) interested and we knew deep down that they were not returning and it would be unrealistic them coming back even via LOA.
I was told and given various affirmations to do and none of them worked on more than one situation I tried LOA and my gut overrode it and told me my answer over and over again, and I do trust my gut and that's why I stopped readings each time because I began to mistrust readers and readings and I thought to myself "well I'm just wasting money here on something I know isn't realistic to happen", and that helped me whereas LOA would have prolonged and given me false hope on a non existant situation.
But I have to say I agree with all of your other points, you can still choose to be positive in a negative situation. You can choose to take revenge on the ex or be adult and leave karma to do it's work. You can choose to learn lessons and experience from a situation. If someone treats you shitty then that's with them and their personal issues within them going on, most of the time it's not a reflection on you.
How did you distinguish it as being your gut? Usually I only realize it after the fact instead of during.
I know when it's a gut feeling when I just can't shake it off no matter what I do to keep busy or what hope I try to keep. There was an instance with my first POI I got addicted to all of last year. When I was last staying with him I had an awful gut feeling I just wasn't sure about, and when I came to say goodbye and go home from staying with him I was hugging and kissing him goodbye and as I did I had this voice thought in my mind, never experienced it ever before or since saying "this'll be the last time you see him". I just had this "knowing" feeling that we were over, and I remember feeling like "wtf?" And really upset and confused, not knowing what to do and I remember going home knowing it was over before it was over. A couple of days later the relationship really broke down and we did split up, I tried to reconcile with him and he wasn't interested and told me himself he didn't love me at all but these readers kept me hanging on "ohh he's in denial he was mad etc etc", I just pushed my gut feeling down as worry or going mad and in the end when it got to 6+ months I used common sense that if someone did have feelings they wouldn't leave it that long without talking. I spoke to guys on forums and they said if a man likes you he will make it known as he doesn't want to lose you etc. That is why I believe some things are set.
Well I’ve had men come back after 6 months. I don’t really agree with that. People change their mind everyday. More time is usually better imo because the past somewhat becomes a blur and it easier to forget the bad and focus on what was good. But it also gives you the chance to move one.
Well I wasn't exactly asking for your opinion, you asked me a question and I answered and told you an experience of mine personally to me. I don't agree in free will and whatnot, there is no way that that guy would be back. We have both well and truly moved on, I have never had an ex return. Ever.
My response was not rude. It was not an opinion on your situation but of the guys’ response on forums. My situation in response was just to show time doesn’t really mean anything. This guy wanted absolutely nothing to do with me after the break up and then showed up months down the line with a different perspective. It doesn’t always happen, no, and I don’t think you should hang on because a psychic said so if you know it’s not going to happen. But, time really means nothing. If it’s meant to happen it will whether it’s next month or 5 years from now.
I wasn't saying your response was rude anywhere, was I ? Just saying I don't really need an opinion from you on my situation. I would much rather listen to my gut than believe these readers who most times have been proven to be very wrong and live off false hope, personally. I know what is right for me and I was only answering to your question. My gut feeling was right because it said you will never see him again, he could (highly unlikely) return, but even now I wouldn't physically see him or arrange to meet.
Again, my opinion was based on the guys on the forum not your situation. I was not telling you to wait for him or that you should listen to psychics. But a lot of people on here are hoping for contact from their POI after a long period of time and time isn’t necessarily everything. I want nothing to do with the guy at this point but he did come back after stating he wanted nothing to do with me and that he “tried but just couldn’t like me like that.”
Oh my apologies, you weren't very clear and so I wasn't sure 100% which part you were on about. Personally, I think it varies for each person. Some people need to go off for time to think or to meet someone else to realise that they lost you, but even then you should know if you care about someone and shouldn't need to go away or meet someone else. I'd say most people will show they care and not leave it long but people are weird and we all think and behave differently. Personally if it took someone months or years to realise they missed me I wouldn't feel it very genuine or feel complimented.
People do things for reasons we may not understand. the older I've gotten, the more I have realized how different people are depending on a situation. I've learned to be a lot more empathetic to people. Im not saying taking bs but I've realized sh*t is not about me. People take things way too personally and its a selfish point of view. A lot of the time it has nothing to do with you, it has to do with them. We put these expectations on people but there could be a million reasons why someone does something or why they only realize things later than they should have. We're all just making it through, trying our best, and learning as we go. Don't put up with less than what you deserve but when you really love someone and they come back and see what they should've seen long ago, who cares at that point who did what? You've got 2 people that love each other and made it back to one another.
True, I agree not everyone who goes away for months or years is a player or a bad person. Sometimes people push you away to better themselves or stop hurting you/work out what they want. I do seem to meet the narcy types who always put the blame on me or how bad other exes were before me (never their fault!) and how they're the victim. I'm not saying I've been perfect and never done anything wrong in my relationships, but I quite agree there that I told myself that the problem is with them and their issues and personal problems and traumas.
