I collect gemstones and i got a sirius amethyst that has a lot of high energy. I am buying in bulk gemstones that i feel has a pack of energy to really push people out of the comfort zone for accelerated learning such as moldavite etc i just started an ig store on it but there are 2 of them that have helped me get some stuff into perspective. Wearing this special stone has brought about a crisis and then a calm after the storm... like a huge realization about my life.
This stone also helps with addiction and i have not spent anything on readings since wearing it. I did get a free reading though lol
i realized that how i am being treated by my POI is how others treat me as well. I put way more energy into people who are not giving the same back. They move on to people and engage with folks who are not as giving. For example, i got a present for a coworker yet he gave me nothing for my bday, not even a happy bday. i would make an effort to go see someone and they never made an effort to see me.
This situation with human relations is much bigger than my relationship with POI. People are treating me exactly the way i feel about myself. I am not able to receive love so i give so much to make up for it. i never grew up with people giving me love like hugs or positive comments. They provided though.
it was always criticizing...making me say i love them when they were mean to me etc...ridiculing me as a child if i went in for a hug and being uncomfortable, telling me that no man would ever love me. This was when people were trying to recruit me for modeling and my mom would say you are not a beautiful, you are an average girl and they made me wear ugly clothes for events... it was bizarre. I have gained weight since though so now she says i am pretty. wow...
so as an adult, i am at a lost with how to receive love from people who think it is no big deal to give a hug and were not raised like a soldier/maid.
When people at work hug each other, they hesitate to hug me. some say that they feel like there is some wall around me even if i am super friendly etc. i just know that the people you see in your life is a reflection of how you see yourself. If you dont have self love, people cannot love you. When my POI tried to show love, i brushed it off and shoved something in his face as overcompensation. I am not being hard on myself but looking at this from an objective standpoint.
Feeling lack of love for yourself manifests as obsession with something outside of you and addictions. but those people cannot make you happy and those psychic readings cant fill that hole.
