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Mental wellness

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SomethingBetter:
I hope I’m not offending anyone by starting this topic but I think it’s important and not even about the psychics.

I stopped reading almost a decade ago and lived a totally fine life taking each day as it came. I still had anxiety about things but I do have a diagnosis of GAD so that’s to be expected. But it wasn’t reading related.

Through my observations many (not all) but many who get readings tend to have issues with anxiety, wanting control, feeling out of control, wishing to steer life their way, what have you.

I have seen some posts that have startled me. Posts where people have been suicidal, had suicidal ideation, couldn’t get out of bed, etc. I am not judging. If anything my heart goes out to those individuals and I totally empathize.

So I wanted to start this thread about mental wellness and thought we could share some things like a group therapy session. I will admit I’m too embarrassed to talk about my psychic calling to my T or P-doc.

I DO NOT want to make this thread about readings or psychics or anything like that.

I want to make this about US and how we can encourage each other and even suggest things we do in our personal lives that ground us.

Remember, no talk of readings or psychics. Just us and our wellness.

I’ll start off. I love affirmations. I use to hate them and found them hokey. But you know what? Seeing on my mirror “Nothing is permanent, you can always leave or change,” encourages me. Telling myself that I had a shitty day but I’m a bad ass and one bad day doesn’t change that actually helps.

So what say you? What do you or can you do for your own mental wellness?

SomethingBetter:
And I want to share with you guys my favorite poem that gets me through the tough spots. If I was a tattoo person I’d totally get this on my body, I love it that much!

The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
— Jellaludin Rumi

dascallie:
I've had a bit of an awareness on why/how I got so strung out on irrationally throwing my money away on readings.

It's not even so much about predictions.

It's about trying to 'feel' his aliveness in my life.

I missed him so desperately. And his signal has been cut off so profoundly, as if he is in some stark, distant outpost on the other side of the galaxy.

So the contradictory muddled messages from psychics acted as my morse code of his living.

I think this last heartbreak really was devastating to me unlike anything I'd experienced before.

The love happened upon me--and to him, he said--so unexpectedly, late in life for us both, that we were caught up in a tornado of kindredness, chemistry, depth, sheer joy, to be together.

Shocked and happy to be so 'linked". Even after being together for sometime, he'd spontaneously call and say "I can't wait to see you!" He was my Prince.

I loved him so much, our eyes locked when we'd dance, fast or slow--almost transcendent, it was crazy. It traveled all over.

His frequent easy, infectious laugh I loved, his wit, we were kids, we would fall down laughing. We'd adore each other. BEST friends.
We talked about everything.

The sex was so exciting, so connected and so close it was almost scary in its intimacy.

His eyes only for me, and my eyes only for him, he said he'd never 'let me go'...we were together in love so deep "always and forever"---flowers almost every day--we'd sing in the car, we'd sing in bed, we'd hike, we'd boat, we'd ramble around in wacky exploring, we'd delve into faith-based and intellectual discovery. about everything.

We were lively, we'd share projects, creativity, discuss strategies for and about each of our work. We'd try to give each other 'soft landings' when things got challenging.

Miraculously, we'd found 'our person'.  This late in life.

And then like a deadening, unrelenting, obliterating storm, it was GONE. In a blink of the eye it swept across the landscape and nothing was left standing.

It was ripped away so suddenly, so inexplicably, it felt like I was demolished at the cellular level.

I did not chase him, it was too ephemeral to try and cling to. How could I force soap bubbles to stay in my hands?
I had no power to alter anything.

His extinguishing of it made no sense. But he made a searing, icy, industrialized choice to kill it.

So.

After 18 months of a few fits and starts at some vague, hollow, ghost-like reconnections mostly by him, contact is now dried up.

I think I sought our these readers as my sad way of 'speaking' to him.

Maintaining a thread to the one I felt was part of me.

I labored in a sad delusion.
I won't ever chase him.

That would be the saddest, most rock bottom delusion of all.

He is an iridescent beautiful fleeting soap bubble no longer in existence.

Maybe it was never meaningful to him, maybe it wasn't what he said, how he behaved.

Maybe he was playing a part in a movie in his head, entertaining himself. Maybe he just got bored and wanted to change the channel.
Maybe I will never know.

But I would be extending my pain, my 'emotional illness" trying to clutch at what does not appear to exist any longer.

I have to move on.

But I miss him so much.

I wanted to feel him. His "soul".

So I put myself here, addicted to the very unsound filter/frequency of psychics--like a ham radio with a broken transmission, in a desperate attempt to feel him close.

I'm changing now.

Life does find a way.

Even though hearts will never quite be the same.

I'm determined to have a good life and hopefully find love again.

I'm going to stop the bleeding of my money.

It's self destructive, killing me.

I am going to ditch the sadness, unblock the sustaining river of joy and possibilities and 'fake it til I make it'.

With God and all that is vibrant in life, I know this is the way back.

doubleoh8:

--- Quote from: dascallie on June 19, 2019, 09:18:15 AM ---I've had a bit of an awareness on why/how I got so strung out on irrationally throwing my money away on readings.

It's not even so much about predictions.

It's about trying to 'feel' his aliveness in my life.

I missed him so desperately. And his signal has been cut off so profoundly, as if he is in some stark, distant outpost on the other side of the galaxy.

So the contradictory muddled messages from psychics acted as my morse code of his living.

I think this last heartbreak really was devastating to me unlike anything I'd experienced before.

The love happened upon me--and to him, he said--so unexpectedly, late in life for us both, that we were caught up in a tornado of kindredness, chemistry, depth, sheer joy, to be together.

Shocked and happy to be so 'linked". Even after being together for sometime, he'd spontaneously call and say "I can't wait to see you!" He was my Prince.

I loved him so much, our eyes locked when we'd dance, fast or slow--almost transcendent, it was crazy. It traveled all over.

His frequent easy, infectious laugh I loved, his wit, we were kids, we would fall down laughing. We'd adore each other. BEST friends.
We talked about everything.

The sex was so exciting, so connected and so close it was almost scary in its intimacy.

His eyes only for me, and my eyes only for him, he said he'd never 'let me go'...we were together in love so deep "always and forever"---flowers almost every day--we'd sing in the car, we'd sing in bed, we'd hike, we'd boat, we'd ramble around in wacky exploring, we'd delve into faith-based and intellectual discovery. about everything.

We were lively, we'd share projects, creativity, discuss strategies for and about each of our work. We'd try to give each other 'soft landings' when things got challenging.

Miraculously, we'd found 'our person'.  This late in life.

And then like a deadening, unrelenting, obliterating storm, it was GONE. In a blink of the eye it swept across the landscape and nothing was left standing.

It was ripped away so suddenly, so inexplicably, it felt like I was demolished at the cellular level.

I did not chase him, it was too ephemeral to try and cling to. How could I force soap bubbles to stay in my hands?
I had no power to alter anything.

His extinguishing of it made no sense. But he made a searing, icy, industrialized choice to kill it.

So.

After 18 months of a few fits and starts at some vague, hollow, ghost-like reconnections mostly by him, contact is now dried up.

I think I sought our these readers as my sad way of 'speaking' to him.

Maintaining a thread to the one I felt was part of me.

I labored in a sad delusion.
I won't ever chase him.

That would be the saddest, most rock bottom delusion of all.

He is an iridescent beautiful fleeting soap bubble no longer in existence.

Maybe it was never meaningful to him, maybe it wasn't what he said, how he behaved.

Maybe he was playing a part in a movie in his head, entertaining himself. Maybe he just got bored and wanted to change the channel.
Maybe I will never know.

But I would be extending my pain, my 'emotional illness" trying to clutch at what does not appear to exist any longer.

I have to move on.

But I miss him so much.

I wanted to feel him. His "soul".

So I put myself here, addicted to the very unsound filter/frequency of psychics--like a ham radio with a broken transmission, in a desperate attempt to feel him close.

I'm changing now.

Life does find a way.

Even though hearts will never quite be the same.

I'm determined to have a good life and hopefully find love again.

I'm going to stop the bleeding of my money.

It's self destructive, killing me.

I am going to ditch the sadness, unblock the sustaining river of joy and possibilities and 'fake it til I make it'.

With God and all that is vibrant in life, I know this is the way back.

--- End quote ---

Are you a writer @dascallie? If not, you should be. I am ... and am trying to write about my experience with love, loss and psychic addiction. You've put me to shame. Your post is beautiful and I know it must reflect the beauty of a heart and spirit that created it. Thank you for sharing.

dascallie:
Aww, you're so nice!
I do some writing professionally but more along the line of ad copy  ::)

This is just a rambling flow of consciousness as I try to reconcile the battering my heart AND my wallet has taken....

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