I can't believe there's only 2 days left till 2012. At this point it seems like the year went by so fast but when I look back...this was the slowest, longest, most dreadful year in my life! It was just TORTURE! I know how lots of people are looking forward to 2012 but I'm not. Not only did i get dumped early in the year, but I also got laid off from a very comfortable job that was within walking distance from campus. Everything was accessible to me! Right before all hell broke lose in my life, I kept thinking to myself..wow I'm very comfortable right now. I was at peace! I had everything i wanted..well not everything but I was working for it. I was working to get a degree, working part time saving up money, life with family was getting better and I had a great bf.
I had a routine, a schedule, goals..I knew what I had to do everyday, I had places to go and things to get done. But after the breakup, I just couldn't handle any little responsibility anymore, I quit school, never looked for another job, and locked myself in my room for months. After talking to psychics I got the pick me up that i needed but guess it was just all FALSE HOPE! I feel like I'm falling back into the dark side. I'm just so sick and tired of this life. I'm sick and tired of waking up every single day feeling so crappy about myself and my life. Why can't I be happy? or hey better yet..Why couldn't I have been born numb?
I only discovered psychics in June and thats when I started wasting away all my money. Before June knowing that i had a nice lump of money sitting in my bank account made no difference to me.
I've tried everything, white candles, meditation, visualizations, manifesting, praying, therapy..yet Nothing. I try being positive and thinking positive but I"M JUST SO DAMN TIRED OF ALL THIS BS! No one is answering any of my damn prayers
If I was meant to live such a crappy lonely life then I want no part of it! I always try telling God that instead of wasting a life on me, he could just for once save an innocent child's life and let me go
happy new year everyone...Hope you guys have a better one