I've thought a lot about my addiction to psychics over the last few months as I stepped away from the chat platforms. I've had four email readings this year and I'm not sure I'll ever give up psychic readings completely, but I've come a long way in my recovery. As someone who spends a lot of time on mountain trails, these are some of the things I've contemplated and reminded myself.
Life is a hike. It's full of sunlit mountain tops and low, shadowed valleys. Sometimes the climbs are daunting so we use whatever method necessary to help us keep climbing. For those of us here, at least one of those things is psychics.
I believe everyone, every single human on this planet, has a drug of choice. For some it's food, for some it's work, for others it's substance, for others it's working out. The list goes on. It's something. We are not alone in our addiction; it's simply that ours is laughable and irrational to some, and it's expensive! We know there ARE those with gifts though, so we keep searching for that next high, that better, purer drug. I know who I am and you know who you are; we are not lost, yet something within us, at this time in our lives, prevents us from moving forward without this help, this guidance, this blind faith we place in strangers to tell us our fate.
So every day I tell myself to keep climbing and to take moments to enjoy the climb. When I start a descent and the anxiety over knowing I'm headed into shadows and valleys again, and I fear the darkness and loneliness of that part of the trail, I remind myself that it won't last - IF I just keep going. The sun will break through, and after the darkness it always seems to shine so much brighter. Life is beautiful, in all its' highs and lows. Even in the valleys there is beauty if we search hard enough. The most challenging part can be not knowing when we'll reach the summit or how long we'll get to stay there before a storm rolls in again.
Sometimes I wonder why human emotions are so hard and run so deep. Then I remember that the human spirit is extraordinarily resilient. It can bend and bend and bend and yet not break. We are capable of handling every heartbreak, every loss, every rejection, and every failure. We are capable, but it isn't always easy. It doesn't help that we say things to ourselves that we would never dare say to another human because of the cruelty in the words and criticism. We listen to the lies that anxiety and depression tell us. How can we not when they are looking us directly in the eyes with a straight face while they whisper? They ARE liars though and they play upon our darkest fears. I'm not great at affirmations because they feel like platitudes, but we do need to treat ourselves like we would treat our closest friends, with kindness and compliments and gratitude for our strengths and gifts. We need to silence the liars within us. We are complex, magnificent beings - mind, body, and spirit. We are truly extraordinary, all of us, and each of us in our own unique way as well. If we fall and we give into our addiction to help us get back up, we need to brush ourselves off and remind ourselves that yes, maybe we could've gotten up on our own and saved ourselves some money or spared ourselves from receiving false hope once again, but at least we're up - and then we need to simply keep moving forward, one foot in font of another in front of another. We have today. We can't worry about yesterday and we shouldn't worry about tomorrow. We can only do our best today - to love ourselves, to be kind to ourselves, and to try to climb without using our drug of choice as a walking stick, today. Just today.
