So, I've decided consciously to start the moving on process. After almost 2 years of hope, sadness, anger, and listening to psychics who were just wrong, it's time. I've been given excuses from psychics for being wrong as well as had blame pushed on to me for not doing the right thing. My vibrations "are low", I have "negative energy", free will, retrogrades, you name it. So...here's my take on my situation.
Forgiveness. I can forgive my POI. I don't think I should "have" to, but I can. He is who he is. I can't control that. The forgiveness is for me more than him anyway. He won't know I forgive him. I will. Forgiveness gives YOU peace. He can continue to live in turmoil, excuses, manipulation, whatever. My anger towards it is only hurting me, so I'm letting it go, wishing him the best in his life, and redirecting my own life. What I really need to do more is to forgive MYSELF. In all the chaos of that relationship, he didn't force me to stay, he didn't force me to waste my time, energy, and emotions. He didn't force my hand onto psychic websites looking for answers. He didn't click the paypal button causing financial disaster, which will take years to recover from. He didn't force me to pull covers over my head and cry. He didn't force me into solitude. He didn't force me to decline other male advances. I did this myself. Me. And I need to forgive myself for that.
Readings. I take responsibility for the readings I had. I take responsibility for bingeing. I'm the one who held on to nothing. So far it is safe to say that no one got the love predictions right. Kisha was right so far on career, so she does have a gift. But nothing, I mean nothing else has manifested. I know, I know, I still have until March. But I do recall saying the exact same thing LAST March. And nothing happened. Kira told me that I need to let the anger go and maybe look into counseling. LOL...she's probably right there. But honestly, the anger was there when I first read with her last year. So technically, it shouldn't "suddenly" be pushing out the predictions. Shelly UK...well her "markers", all of them have happened, repeatedly, and again NOTHING has changed. There is a disclaimer in her email that "I can't account for free will". Yeah, ok, but that is a bit of a cop out. It's like the predictions can never actually be wrong because, you know, free will.
Zadalia. I love her, but her predictions for contact have come and gone multiple times. I do think she gets the current overall picture, but guess what? So do I and I don't need to pay a psychic to tell me.
LOA/manifesting. I'm ok with the idea of both, but only for MY own good. I'm on the fence of drawing someone back who might not be in my best interest. I've changed to self-love affirmations and away from "he will contact me". That's one of the many reasons I threw "Pussy whipped" out the window. I don't want someone who manipulated me back through my own manipulations. That just can't be healthy.
So, I'm working on me. I have good days and bad days. I realize now that that there are a lot more good days than there used to be. One thing I have realized is that I am not ready for any relationship. I know we all want to know when the "next" POI is coming in, but if I met someone tomorrow, I would feel sorry for him. I'd be in it for all the wrong reasons. I need to get back to baseline or I would just screw up a new relationship. That's a big realization. I'm just about past the anger. I'm working on the self esteem/affirmations. I meditate (which I love btw). And I'm fixing the mess I created for myself. One day at a time.
