Which advice to take...

[Love2lovenj]

What do you do when one advisor tells you to play hard to get and the other tell you to express what you feel and want?  I don't like playing the guessing game but seems like i am more of a direct person than he is.  Also if two people are guarded, how do you get anywhere?

[Love2lovenj]

I say instead to living by the words of advisors and society standards, you do you . If you want to message him, message him. If you want to express your feelings and not play games, then don’t play the games and express your feelings. The right person will not get scared off by these things, if anything, they will embrace them. But I always stand by to prioritize people as they prioritize you. So keep doing you! I sound like Dr. Seuss.

Lol, love me some Dr Seuss.  Yes the advice to play hard to get was said so that he would break the cycle.  Personally i think he needs a swift kick in the arse.  It's always when you find someone new that they want to fight for you.

[sawthelight]

I say instead to living by the words of advisors and society standards, you do you . If you want to message him, message him. If you want to express your feelings and not play games, then don’t play the games and express your feelings. The right person will not get scared off by these things, if anything, they will embrace them. But I always stand by to prioritize people as they prioritize you. So keep doing you! I sound like Dr. Seuss.

LOL love this, great post!  Bolded part is my new motto...

[ladya]

What do you do when one advisor tells you to play hard to get and the other tell you to express what you feel and want?  I don't like playing the guessing game but seems like i am more of a direct person than he is.  Also if two people are guarded, how do you get anywhere?

You do what's best for you. Advisors give advice based on their own experiences, just as anyone else. It depends on the type of person. There's ways to express what you want without it sounding like an ultimatum. More like guiding them to what you want and see what happens. I don't like playing games, I've never been that person. So when someone tells me I have to not answer for 4 hours or seem unavailable, I roll my eyes because it's not me. Don't get me wrong, I don't jump just because they say jump but I don't like the tit for tat behavior. It makes me feel like Im training a dog not dealing with another person. However, it's common advice psychics give too I noticed.

[Love2lovenj]

What do you do when one advisor tells you to play hard to get and the other tell you to express what you feel and want?  I don't like playing the guessing game but seems like i am more of a direct person than he is.  Also if two people are guarded, how do you get anywhere?

You do what's best for you. Advisors give advice based on their own experiences, just as anyone else. It depends on the type of person. There's ways to express what you want without it sounding like an ultimatum. More like guiding them to what you want and see what happens. I don't like playing games, I've never been that person. So when someone tells me I have to not answer for 4 hours or seem unavailable, I roll my eyes because it's not me. Don't get me wrong, I don't jump just because they say jump but I don't like the tit for tat behavior. It makes me feel like Im training a dog not dealing with another person. However, it's common advice psychics give too I noticed.

Yes I've never understood the guessing game.  Life would be so much easier if people would just say what they mean and mean what they say.

[Dreamer23]

Maybe the answer is somewhere in the middle...don't come on too strong, but do express how you feel.

Most of the time we are dealing with avoidant people, who love to run away when you get too close. And playing games might keep them interested and it might keep it going for a while.

Avoidants need their space and independence. Saying too much at the wrong time can backfire. But expressing your needs is important too, just make sure they are not overwhelming to the other party.

[seeker123]

Love2lovenj  - I was in a similar situation more then 7-8 months ago. Will told me that I should keep things light and friendly, but not chase him. However, Yona essentially said I have to play hard to get by moving away from him & make him think I have moved on. But she also said not to play games as that might backfire.

I was torn for a while, but went with Will's advice. I kept things very cordial, but I did break down once and told him how I felt. But we are back to being just cordial, edging a little towards friendship.

It is like walking on eggshells, but my recommendation is to keep things in the middle too.

[Flyingsoul]

What do you do when one advisor tells you to play hard to get and the other tell you to express what you feel and want?  I don't like playing the guessing game but seems like i am more of a direct person than he is.  Also if two people are guarded, how do you get anywhere?

Believe or not, everything is fated, if it's meant to yours, regardless what, will be yours Hope this is the good news for you!

[ladya]

What do you do when one advisor tells you to play hard to get and the other tell you to express what you feel and want?  I don't like playing the guessing game but seems like i am more of a direct person than he is.  Also if two people are guarded, how do you get anywhere?

Believe or not, everything is fated, if it's meant to yours, regardless what, will be yours Hope this is the good news for you!

Agreed.