Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story

My Story

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4everhopeful:
Im right there with all of you and feeling sort of let down that nothing of my main concern ever came true. Im at the point of wishing that even the predictions of someone new coming in would come true, but I dont see that happening either. If only they could tell me how to get my emotions opened up again. Im really at a point of not feeling anything anymore for other men. I cant seem to feel attraction or excitement with anyone. I wonder sometimes if I have a mental problem, lol. So stuck on that one relationship that seemed so perfect. Hard to believe that I will ever find the love, comfort, safety, and all the other things I felt with that man. Cant seem to feel even one of those things with anyone else. It just doesnt seem to be there anymore.
I heard somewhere the other day that a broken heart takes a very long time to heal, and sometimes never heals, unless someone else comes along to take all that heartache away. I sure wish that someone would come along. Im tired of this whole thing.
Ive tried putting myself out there. Ive tried just being myself and not looking for a relationship, just having fun and letting it come to me. Seems Ive tried just about everything, but nothing comes my way. Seems one date never turns into a second. I think Im fairly attractive, I smell good, I dont have bad breath, lol. I dont have a lot of baggage. I have a good job, I dont ask for material things. Im a good woman with a good heart and I try my best to do right by others. I just dont understand anymore.
Sorry ladies and gentlemen to dump on you this morning, but just feeling so left out of the whole romance thing. Just feels like its never gonna happen to me again. Not really sure if Im depressed about it or pissed. Maybe a little of both. And really close to just giving up on the whole thing.
Just wish they hadnt all been so wrong.

sunandmoon:
I had those new predictions too. I was told I would have a crush on someone by my birthday (last March). I kind of did but I talked myself out of it. It's the guy I'm seeing now. Funny thing is, I told him the other night that I had been pretty much resigned to being alone and he said all I would have had to do is ask him out or give him some sort of sign. (what got us going was that I asked him for help in my yard and a week after that I sent him a text asking if he lost power during a hurricane we had). He had been interested in me for quite awhile but he wanted to make sure things were "sure" before even asking as he hates being rejected. I had told myself I wasn't going to chase anyone.

He has a hobby so to speak that I said I did not want to be involved in again as I'm in a mode of simplifying my life. I was being soooo picky yet something kept drawing me to him. And now that we are together I see all the good qualities that make the hobby not such a big deal anymore.

I went through a period of months where I felt like you. I didn't think I'd ever find happiness with anyone and I was starting to settle into that fact. Maybe that's where we need to be when we finally open ourselves up to someone else. I think sometimes we say we are letting go and living life, but are we really if we are still calling psychics etc? I ask this because I did it as well. Full moon rituals, the whole nine yards, I did it. I know someone who paid about $500 for a spell a year ago and he's not back with his ex either (he is dating someone new and is happy about that).

I will say the new r/s has helped immensely in making me happy again. On one hand that does bother me as I felt I should have been happier alone than I had been, and I probably would have been had my heart not been shattered so badly!

Being pissed is good I found. It helps get over things quicker I think!  :)

4everhopeful:
Well Sunandmoom, Im just glad Im not still calling psychics and looking for that feel good feeling of hearing its all gonna be okay. Some days I feel so good and even though I do still think of that great relationship, I would still have it in my mind that it was in the past and be telling myself that at least I had it for that long and something else great will be along in the future. But then when I do go out and have a good time and I guess sort of expect to maybe at least make a new friends somewhere that maybe in the future would turn into something else with one of them, I dont seem to attract any attention at all. I live in a very small community and the nearby town in only about 25 to 30 thousand people. I just dont seem to meet anyone. Everywhere I go they all seem to be already paired off. The single ones are only interested in the young women that I already know are just there for what they can get material wise. There just arent that many places to go here to meet anyone. And the online stuff is so old and Im really cautious anymore about meeting anyone from online. I guess also that I do refuse to lower my standards and I will not accept anyone that is not clean and neat. Im not looking for perfection at all, but I do want someone that takes a little pride in their appearance, dresses clean and neat, and has good personal hygiene. I know it sounds like Im picky but Im really not that picky, just very selective these days. And I think Im also very scared of giving my heart to anyone again. I cant go through this again. I honestly dont think I would survive it. I think I just have to get back to my old self, the one that was very strong and determined and very happy with my life as it was and as it has become again. It just felt so good to have someone in my life that I loved and respected and admired. I never had that before and I want it back again, even with someone new. But I am slowly getting back to that place, its just taking time. Thank God I have you all at this forum to vent to and to talk to and I dont have to spend a fortune to get support and understanding. We all heal at different speeds and Im just healing very slowly. I dont doubt that I will always love this man, but I am learning to put that love into a box and store it away, and not expect to ever see it again. I just wish I could figure out the lesson that I was supposed to learn. Give me a psychic that can tell me that and she would be worth her weight in gold, lol. But then I couldnt afford her, lmao.

Tango:
I feel the exact same way and I'm ready for someone new as well. I've had psychics predict I'd meet someone new "during the holidays" and I was supposed to meet someone in mid November as well. I have had predictions for a whole bunch of different looking guys who were supposed to come in. Nothing has panned out so far and I am also doubtful of these predictions too. I've been thinking back and reflecting lately and I don't know why I have pined for this guy for so long. He really didn't treat me very well and there was a lot of deception going on. Love definitely is blind. It's taken me a long time as well to reach this point, much longer than it should have. So don't feel bad for loving someone who treated you well, I loved someone who didn't!

I don't think that you're being picky 4everyhopeful, I think that everyone should have standards. If you don't have standards, you won't end up in a relationship with someone who is a quality guy. I think that your expectations are very reasonable because I feel the exact same way. I don't think it's a lot to ask if you want someone who is a good person and who cares about themselves and has good hygiene!

What I'm going to try to do (when I eventually meet someone who seems like a decent guy) is that I'm definitely going to be more cautious and take things slower, but I'm still going to give the guy a chance. My situation sounds a lot different from yours, but I'm also scared about giving my heart to someone who is just going to break it. The thing is that the person who broke my heart is one guy out of millions, and it wouldn't be fair for me to think that just because one person broke my heart, that every other guy will. I know that I have to be willing to take a risk and give someone a chance.

When you're feeling lonely, try to think back on everything you've accomplished since you've been apart from your SM. I've realized that I've done a lot and I've been very successful. These are things that I might not have been able to do if I was with my SM, and being with him would have made it a lot harder to do the things that I have done for sure. So, I'm sure that this is the reason why I haven't met anyone who interests me yet. I'm just not interested in anyone! I think it just prevented me from being distracted so I could do what I needed to do. I still believe that everything happens for a reason, even the things that hurt. I also believe that love will find you when you least expect it.

From what I gather from reading all the posts on this forum is that there is a collection of wonderful people here, who have good hearts and good intentions. Love is never easy. Unfortunately we can't choose who to love and who not to love, it just happens. I think at the end of the day though, the people who are good, genuine people, will have love in the end no matter what.

loveblooms:
I really liked what you said Tango. Yes, we need to learn our lessons well.

give your heart to someone who embraces you, not the one who avoids you.

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