Spiritualist Reader (Cookie)

[Zee]

I asked Cookie what I could do to accelerate the process - ie is there any work I need to do on myself to attract that right person (I feel this past year has been about clearing my past all the way back to my childhood, identifying and eliminating (I think, lol) past rel'p patterns - i.e. attracting unavailable men based on childhood stuff), forgiveness, living in the now, visualizing/manifesting, etc, you name it and all she said was 'you attract people you don't have chemistry with' so not very helpfu in that regards, lol.

I had the same problem with trust, especially men and that takes time and practice, as well as getting bored easily, but that is an excellent question. (superb actually) and from the reviews I’ve read on Cookie there are some things she really misses.  I still want to read with her to say I’ve been a part of the Cookie Cutter experience, but it seems like she didn’t understand your question. 

I do completely, but don’t think I can answer it. I also don’t have any relationship advice but suggest you continue to ask that question.  I’m not saying Cookie isn’t good but there are deeper readers out there, like Christine Lynn, Samantha Wild, and Jane Wilcox, in that order with CL as number two. My first one is Soul Love11.  All of these people have their own site except Soul Love11, who only reads on Keen. She takes these massive long hiatuses from reading and I only read with her once. Make an appointment and see if she sends you a reply. She would be able to pinpoint exactly why you are attracting men the way you do.

[powerofnow]

Really? That's awesome - thanks for the recommendations!!

To be honest, I'm much preferring attracting men with whom I have no chemistry than the men I attracted for the last 10-15 years preceding that - emotionally unavailable men who left me miserable. Baby steps, right!

Thank god for this thread or I would have been very frustrated with Cookie's reading - it was scattered as others have experienced and she wasn't very descriptive about anything or anyone (unique to me, it sounds like) . When I tried to sum it up 'so basically, I'll date different guys but no committed relationship for two years?' she replied 'no, I'm not saying that..you need to date to get to the long-term rel'p'. Fair enough but she wasn't able to tell me which of these guys I would have the best shot with or anything else..maybe we didn't connect (haha, don't we love saying that when we don't receive a reading we don't like!). I think she understood my question about how to better myself but if she's a remote viewer, perhaps she's not the best suited to answer that question.

I'll definitely investigate the readers you suggested - thanks!

[Zee]

I totally feel you on this because Dr. G. told me I like the bad boy types and guess what? That comes from being bored but the bad boys will F! you up time and time again because the only agenda they think about are themselves. I want to feel safe in a relationship not spiraling that comes from distrust.

To be honest it almost sounds like she is saying (in not so many words) there are lessons you need to learn through dating, just having fun, just keeping it light, just going with the flow of any relationships, which will allow you to accept and be open to Mr. Right.  In your present condition, whatever that may be, you won't recognize Mr. Right due to the way you attract Mr. Wrong.

[powerofnow]

To be honest it almost sounds like she is saying (in not so many words) there are lessons you need to learn through dating, just having fun, just keeping it light, just going with the flow of any relationships, which will allow you to accept and be open to Mr. Right.  In your present condition, whatever that may be, you won't recognize Mr. Right due to the way you attract Mr. Wrong.

That's an excellent point, Zee. Perhaps there are lessons I need to learn through these shorter-term connections and I know for some of these lessons, it kind of defeats the purpose if I know in advance what they are as we need to experience them to fully understand and learn from them. One thing a few of the readers have said is that I am quick to judge some of these guys and don't give them enough of a chance..perhaps that's something I need to work on...And obviously, patience is obviously something else I need to master, lol

[Cfisher]

Oh powerofnow... Isn't patience what we all need to learn? Lol! I have a habit of discounting guys too. Maybe I new to try and get to know them a bit better before I toss them! But at the same time if the chemistry isn't there, I don't believe that it will EVER be there. At least that's been my lifelong experience. Stupid chemistry, why do you have to be such an unobtainable thing??? Lol!

[Zee]

One thing a few of the readers have said is that I am quick to judge some of these guys and don't give them enough of a chance.

Are you sure she wasn't talking about me? After every failed relationship (there hasn't been many, 'cause I hate to date), I would ask a psychic what was I suppose to learn or why was I involved with such a loser in the first place. Sometimes they could answer and sometimes they could not.  I tend to attract guys in only two spectrums.  Extremely young (17-28 yrs old) or really old (50-65 plus).  I mean where is my middle ground?  This has also come up on my astrology charts.  Even guys who have told me they are mature for their age, ended up just being rubbish.  A 28 year old man will NEVER be mature as a 28 year old woman.

I just wish more guys had their stuff together and wouldn't raise so many flags in the beginning.  They can say one thing to me (just one) and it's over before it starts.  Why must I be responsible for pointing out the obvious to them? I hate babysitting. I did it on my own without someone holding my hand every step along the way.  Jeez.

Cfisher are you referring to chemistry as attraction, making good conversation, having the guy get it when you explain stuff to him, having him understand what you mean without so many words?  I'm at the point that I don't believe it is out there either, but I should probably change the way I think. And this too has been difficult.  It's so hard when so many frogs are croaking around you. Men are just stupid. What can I say?  I am tall 5'11" and I've had guys approach me and go wow, you're tall. Then after a beat, but I like tall women.  Guess what?? I know all about me, so I don't need it pointed out.  I know I should see this as a compliment but the way they say it, makes it not only seem overly sexual, but not complimentary at all.  You see what I'm saying?

I read somewhere once where you have to Keep one eye open and Keep one eye closed, but guess what? I don't want to settle, which is exactly what this sounds like to me and I plan on keeping both eyes open.  I read a really good article about it here: http://superdebugsarah.wordpress.com/2011/09/11/one-eye-open-one-eye-closed and the way it affects your life.  Maybe this thought came around back in the old days when women were suppose to look the other way when their man cheated, especially if he were a good provider.  It just means I have to look longer and harder for someone worthy of my time and affection.

[Zee]

Oh, and I've given up on Cookie.  I saw in my notes that Cookie (Prophetess 10487) on click4advisor use to be $4.99 as of this year and increased her rates. She was available on Click on Sunday and I increased my bank to see if I could get a reading but it kept getting deleted. After the fourth time I just closed my account.  I don't pay much for a first read and keep if short, just to see how much of a connection there is, but I got the impression the 7 mins I paid for, wasn't high enough for her to take the call.  Guess we live and learn.

She has less people in line on click so those who want a reading may want to try both places (Click and Keen).

[Truth]

Zee - you must have Uranus in or involved with your 7th house, or possibly Aquarius on the cusp.

[Zee]

Although I don't know what that means, it is a possibility.

[powerofnow]

Although I don't know what that means, it is a possibility.

Lol!!

Yes, CFisher, we're so impatient! My alias is based on my reminder to just live in the moment..and breathe!

This is an interesting conversation and a subject I've delved into a lot in the past year...I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday (a personal one that may not resonate with you ladies). But until the very recent past (i.e. summer!), I was attracting emotionally unavailable men and perhaps that's why I was feeling that instant connection/attraction with these men - it was their unavailability (and it doesn't have to be verbalized, it can be an energy that's emitted, too) that drew me right in...and now, as I've been working on that particular issues perhaps I'm attracting decent, 'healthier' guys so maybe that instant heartfluttering won't be there and it'll be more of a slow development...I'm just speculating here...

Zee - I took your recommendation and spoke to Samantha. I didn't ask for predictions at all and just asked her which blocks she picked up in me - funnily enough she picked up the very ones I thought I had dissolved   She said there's still a lot of fear (wrapped up in all its forms) and I need to work through them if I want to attract someone meaningful who will be vibrating at a similar energy. She talked about having to go through a darkness but emerging stronger on the other side. Funny but I feel like this is exactly what I had been through until July of this year so I guess I still need stuff to work out...

Perhaps this is what Cookie meant by my heart being closed (my lame attempt at tying this all back to Cookie so it doesn't sound like we digressed too much   )

[Zee]

Don't 'cha hate that when that happens?  You think you've worked through an issue and find (via a reading) it's still there.

I mean I've been working on certain issues for over 10 years and regard it as a setback when it's still there.  It makes me tired.

[Cfisher]

Oh for bloody hell's sake. See, this is the crap that I absolutely HATE. You've been focused on working through your issues, thinking everything is worked through, then someone tells you that you still aren't through those issues. It takes time to get over it, but the thing is if you keep focusing on *working through these issues* then I think you are holding yourself back from just experiencing. If you are they type of person who is attracted to unavailable men, then STOP. That's it. Just cut it out! If you meet someone and he's hot, attractive and you like him, try to date him. If you date him and you realize that he's not treating you the way that you want him too, you only have two choices, roll with the punches as this is the guy that he's showing you he is and accept it, or toss him.

This isn't brain surgery, time to over analyze or think to yourself *I'm bringing in these men because I have issues that I haven't worked through.* What a mind fuck. *Excuse the terrible ise of language but i needed to put emphasis there* Seriously! Doesn't that shit make you feel terrible? Like it's all your fault? I'm bringing in all these crappy guys and I still need to deal with my issues etc. Cut all that out! This isn't about your issues at all. This isn't about blame, this isn't about you trying to internalize everything thing and putting so much pressure on yourself. Take the pressure off, stop OVER THINKING EVERYTHING and just get off your ass and get out there.

Everyone has issues. We ALL have our issues, but when you constantly over analyze what's happening around you instead of just rolling with it and having fun dating, meeting new people and just enjoying your personal relationships, it's YOU that is messing everything up.

I'm not saying date every guy that comes along, but what I am saying I this: ms 5'11"? Dude says to you, wow you are tall, but I like tall women. Your response shouldn't be in your head-what a douch-your response out of your mouth should be *really, you think I'm tall? You should meet the rest of my family! Lol! Or, how about, wow bud, I've never realized that, what a keen observation! Lol! Laugh! For god's sake ladies, would you please just laugh it off! Or another one you could say is," oh I know, us tall ones are actually better in bed" then give the little short squirt a big smile, a cheeky grin and laugh!

We need to change our perspective on dating. Stop looking at it like a job. Everyone hates to date blah, blah, blah. No wonder why you aren't meeting worthy guys. Look at your attitude towards dating. Dudes LOVE to date, ya know why? Because its fun for them. They want to meet someone worthy, someone that is going to make them fall to their knees, blindside them with happiness and fall in love. Guys have a great time enjoying the loving, adoring attention of wonderful women. Why the hell aren't we?

Sure it's hard to put yourself out there, but suck it up. This is what it is all about. How are you going to meet someone worthy if you don't get off your couch, stop *working on your issues* and go meet someone?

This is the only thing or rather a major thing that I dislike about this forum. It's the negative attitude behind dating. We women are so worried about fixing ourselves that we miss out on so many great guys to have fun with, enjoy spending time with, have fun getting to know etc. why do we miss out on these opportunities? Because we are too lazy to get ourselves out there.

Sometimes you get in your moods etc. and you just don't want to leave the house on a Sunday afternoon. That's totally fair. But THAT wonderful guy isn't sitting on the couch beside you, he's out and about meeting new women, spending time doing what he wants to do etc.

I don't mean to get snappy here on you guys, but the last thing I want to do is look on this forum and see people feeling sorry for themselves. I want to jump on this forum and see how they are taking readings and applying them in a positive way to their lives. Now seriously, what are you going to do to get yourself out there and do something about meeting that guy?

Cookie gave me an el crappo reading the last time I talked to her. She said she didn't see me in an actual relationship all through 2013. She told me that I have to open myself up and take action. I did that about a month ago, met loads of guys, forced myself to get out there and meet new people and although I didn't find anyone that I wanted to spend my time with, I really had a good time and made some new friends. It wasn't a fail, it was a pass. I collected my $200- at GO and the arrows keeps pointing to movement. Maybe one of these days I'll land on Park Place or maybe *Reading railroad*  but if I don't keep rolling the dice and keep moving along the board, I'm never going to find my *Boarwalk*

For those who don't understand my analogy, please google *monopoly* and go play. Lol!

[powerofnow]

Interesting take but this comes down to simple belief systems - you have yours, I have mine and I'm sure we'll respect each other for that...sorry if it comes across as a 'negative attitude' or 'feeling sorry' for myself. Not at all - I'm a super happy--go-lucky person but I'm also accountable for my part in failed relationships and I'm at a stage in my life where I want to take stock of that, process it and learn from it.  I hesitated writing about all this here as I know this is less of a spiritual forum and more for reader reviews but I *know* this kind of stuff does resonate with some people here, regardless..

I don't know about you but when I hear a negative reading, I think 'screw that, I'm going to take charge of my own destiny' and I DO, trust me I do but my spiritual beliefs do inform how I proceed as well..Lol, and no, I don't just sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself...now excuse me while I go work out

Oh for bloody hell's sake. See, this is the crap that I absolutely HATE. You've been focused on working through your issues, thinking everything is worked through, then someone tells you that you still aren't through those issues. It takes time to get over it, but the thing is if you keep focusing on *working through these issues* then I think you are holding yourself back from just experiencing. If you are they type of person who is attracted to unavailable men, then STOP. That's it. Just cut it out! If you meet someone and he's hot, attractive and you like him, try to date him. If you date him and you realize that he's not treating you the way that you want him too, you only have two choices, roll with the punches as this is the guy that he's showing you he is and accept it, or toss him.

This isn't brain surgery, time to over analyze or think to yourself *I'm bringing in these men because I have issues that I haven't worked through.* What a mind fuck. *Excuse the terrible ise of language but i needed to put emphasis there* Seriously! Doesn't that shit make you feel terrible? Like it's all your fault? I'm bringing in all these crappy guys and I still need to deal with my issues etc. Cut all that out! This isn't about your issues at all. This isn't about blame, this isn't about you trying to internalize everything thing and putting so much pressure on yourself. Take the pressure off, stop OVER THINKING EVERYTHING and just get off your ass and get out there.

Everyone has issues. We ALL have our issues, but when you constantly over analyze what's happening around you instead of just rolling with it and having fun dating, meeting new people and just enjoying your personal relationships, it's YOU that is messing everything up.

I'm not saying date every guy that comes along, but what I am saying I this: ms 5'11"? Dude says to you, wow you are tall, but I like tall women. Your response shouldn't be in your head-what a douch-your response out of your mouth should be *really, you think I'm tall? You should meet the rest of my family! Lol! Or, how about, wow bud, I've never realized that, what a keen observation! Lol! Laugh! For god's sake ladies, would you please just laugh it off! Or another one you could say is," oh I know, us tall ones are actually better in bed" then give the little short squirt a big smile, a cheeky grin and laugh!

We need to change our perspective on dating. Stop looking at it like a job. Everyone hates to date blah, blah, blah. No wonder why you aren't meeting worthy guys. Look at your attitude towards dating. Dudes LOVE to date, ya know why? Because its fun for them. They want to meet someone worthy, someone that is going to make them fall to their knees, blindside them with happiness and fall in love. Guys have a great time enjoying the loving, adoring attention of wonderful women. Why the hell aren't we?

Sure it's hard to put yourself out there, but suck it up. This is what it is all about. How are you going to meet someone worthy if you don't get off your couch, stop *working on your issues* and go meet someone?

This is the only thing or rather a major thing that I dislike about this forum. It's the negative attitude behind dating. We women are so worried about fixing ourselves that we miss out on so many great guys to have fun with, enjoy spending time with, have fun getting to know etc. why do we miss out on these opportunities? Because we are too lazy to get ourselves out there.

Sometimes you get in your moods etc. and you just don't want to leave the house on a Sunday afternoon. That's totally fair. But THAT wonderful guy isn't sitting on the couch beside you, he's out and about meeting new women, spending time doing what he wants to do etc.

I don't mean to get snappy here on you guys, but the last thing I want to do is look on this forum and see people feeling sorry for themselves. I want to jump on this forum and see how they are taking readings and applying them in a positive way to their lives. Now seriously, what are you going to do to get yourself out there and do something about meeting that guy?

Cookie gave me an el crappo reading the last time I talked to her. She said she didn't see me in an actual relationship all through 2013. She told me that I have to open myself up and take action. I did that about a month ago, met loads of guys, forced myself to get out there and meet new people and although I didn't find anyone that I wanted to spend my time with, I really had a good time and made some new friends. It wasn't a fail, it was a pass. I collected my $200- at GO and the arrows keeps pointing to movement. Maybe one of these days I'll land on Park Place or maybe *Reading railroad*  but if I don't keep rolling the dice and keep moving along the board, I'm never going to find my *Boarwalk*

For those who don't understand my analogy, please google *monopoly* and go play. Lol!

[Luckystar]

Powerofnow, good for you.

That sentence about taking control after a negative reading reminded me of a reader who was an absolute witch on CP when she read for me. At the time i thought well maybe she is just delivering the truth in a harsh way. Not only was she wrong i think she knew she was making me feel bad!!

[Cfisher]

I could be digging myself into a bigger hole here considering the response I just got but here goes:

@powerofnow and @zee- you both said you weren't into dating. I'm calling you out on that and saying you need to change your perspective on dating and have fun with it. You deserve to have the loving adoring attention of fabulous fun guys. Dating should be a fun thing and not a job. Don't you think?

If you decide to do sky diving and your attitude toward it is that you are terrified, you don't want to do it, it's going to be hard etc. you run the risk of not enjoying the experience. All I'm asking you for is to take a different attitude/approach to dating, get into the thought process of *dating is a fun thing to do* and maybe the energies, the men you meet etc. will have that same attitude as well. Surrounding yourself with people that DO enjoy dating will make it seem more enjoyable. Like attracts like, right?

Re: issues... Issues are issues and everyone has them, but instead focusing on the issues, focus on what you want out of life. If you Focus on all the positives and what's out there and what you are going to see and who you will meet while you are out there, your perspective changes. You stop worrying about how to fix yourself and you just start enjoying life in general. I'm not saying to stop working on your issues, I'm just saying that hopefully they aren't your focal point because sometimes focusing on your issues can hold you back from things.  And yes, of course this is just a matter of opinion.

Re: The things I HATE is when a psychic is untuned with you and can pick up what you are working on, points it out, then tells you that you still have to work it out more. All I was saying was stop blaming yourself, stop over analyzing why you are bringing in less than worthy *to your standards* guys. I used to blame myself for not working through my issues, not figuring out why I'm doing everything wrong, that it was somehow all my fault. And every time I thought this way, it made me feel like crap. I don't want to look at myself in a negative way, I want to see myself as the happy, bubbly person I am. I want to be happy. Everyone has issues and healing from them or changing bad behaviour patterns is not easy and it's definitely a process. But I'm not going to over analyze myself and what is around me because it makes me feel bad. My attitude is if I can bring in the bad, then screw it, I can bring in the good too! And then I focus on that! Next thing I know I'm socializing more, really enjoying people and bringing loads of great energy! And that's what's happened in these last few months!

@powerofnow- I plan on reading the power of now as it looks like it's been very helpful for you! And anything that is helpful in a positive way is definitely something I want to get my hands on. And yes, I get the whole taking accountability for failed relationships etc. I just don't want to look at myself as a failure and I've found for myself that when I analyze the mistakes I've made, instead of looking at them as though they were mistakes and hey that's life, I over analyze them. Which again, makes me feel bad. If going through your process is working for you then all the power to you. I'm not telling you to NOT look at your stuff, I'm just saying that I hope it doesn't have the same effect on you by doing that as it does for me.

@zee- don't be so judgy. You are just being flat out mean and judgemental.  I'm not judging you at all. I'd die to be 5'll", my basketball career in high school would've rocked! And no, I'm not perfect in any shape or form. But my attitude due to my experiences in the past have brought me to a much happier place. And although I still have my bad days and seek some positive reinforcement and some help with motivation at times, I'm still better off than I was dwelling in the pit of misery in an el crappo situation which I've let go of.

As for feeling sorry for ourselves, me included in that was based on the comments of not wanting to date or liking dating. Until I changed my attitude towards dating I didn't want to date at all! I was so turned off of it because it wasn't any fun. Once I changed my attitude about it and stopped feeling sorry for myself regarding dating and forced making myself go on the dates instead of being lazy about it, all of a sudden I was having a fantastic time with all these different men! I went into the dating scenarios with a very positive attitude of having fun instead of what a drag that I have to do this.

And saying that you don't like dating is a negative attitude towards it. I don't want you to apologize for having that attitude, I want you to consider an alternative way of looking at it or at least be neutral about it vs. I don't like it etc. Dating should be fun, exciting and a great experience. Which is what I found when I changed my attitude about it. Which reminds me, I have a date this evening with this super cute guy I met last week! Woot woot!