For those no longer getting readings - how did you know you were done?

[russianred]

I would also now add when I realized that I can trust myself again to make decisions.  When I realized I was making decisions that my gut wasn't comfortable with based on what I was being told.  That I know myself better than the readers know me.

[sunandmoon]

It was my own stupidity that kept me going. I kept good notes and already knew that they said the same thing over and over. I'd pretty much stopped by the time I found this forum in 2011. I had a couple more readings after I met my current bf and they were so far off it wasn't funny. But that first year was HELL. They are well trained in taking advantage of people, I can say that much.

[russianred]

What I'm working on right now is letting go of the need to understand why POI has acted the way he has AND have my POI understand my position.

If I'm being straight-up -- it bothers me that he doesn't seem to see what a selfish POS he's been.  Like he really doesn't seem to get it.  (I guess if he did, he probably wouldn't be acting like a selfish POS.)  I've continued to seek out validation from him that my perspective is the sane and normal one to no avail.

I don't know if I've just mentally burned myself on it all (does that ever happen to you? where you just don't want to think about it anymore?), but today was truly day one for me of moving toward an acceptance that I probably just won't understand him and he won't understand me.  And no amount of analysis, calling psychics or empaths, and whatever else will change that.

[HornetKick]

For me, I know I used readings as a coping mechanism after the break up to help me understand what was POI thinking, what would happen next etc. Because of no contact it was a desperate attempt to feel some type of connection with him. Those dates and predictions kept me going and helped in not reaching out.

Had he not got in touch like he did within a few weeks of the break up, I would have continued doing readings for a maximum of another 2 months and moved on.

It actually astonishes me that some people here have been having readings on a POI for 1 year and above. Dont you think if there was interest the person would have made a move by now? I can only imagine how much money that is down the drain.

Not only that, for those of us who want to have families, kids etc, every year wasted on a man who cant man up is a year of fertility wasted. I'm in my mid 30's now... I aint got time for that. Maybe when I was younger the chase and all that was fun but not now.

Great points, but when a person is feeling desperate and low, they believe the psychic(s) and continue to waste time (although not to them) month after month because they are fed hope. All the psychic has to say is that person has feelings for them and they take that in their mind that their POI is going to return or reach out. Even though the POI probably wasn't good for them or to them from the beginning. Some people hardly ever see it through the rose colored glasses because they are in it.

[britbrat]

For me, I know I used readings as a coping mechanism after the break up to help me understand what was POI thinking, what would happen next etc. Because of no contact it was a desperate attempt to feel some type of connection with him. Those dates and predictions kept me going and helped in not reaching out.

Had he not got in touch like he did within a few weeks of the break up, I would have continued doing readings for a maximum of another 2 months and moved on.

It actually astonishes me that some people here have been having readings on a POI for 1 year and above. Dont you think if there was interest the person would have made a move by now? I can only imagine how much money that is down the drain.

Not only that, for those of us who want to have families, kids etc, every year wasted on a man who cant man up is a year of fertility wasted. I'm in my mid 30's now... I aint got time for that. Maybe when I was younger the chase and all that was fun but not now.

Great points, but when a person is feeling desperate and low, they believe the psychic(s) and continue to waste time (although not to them) month after month because they are fed hope. All the psychic has to say is that person has feelings for them and they take that in their mind that their POI is going to return or reach out. Even though the POI probably wasn't good for them or to them from the beginning. Some people hardly ever see it through the rose colored glasses because they are in it.

This is the biggest issue. You will have 20 psychics saying your poi is coming back and maybe 2 saying he won't. In my case in the past I believed the 20 who kept telling me he was coming back. I would still get readings with them after the time frames came and went. It was an expensive lesson to learn.

[russianred]

I look back on the time when I was getting readings and it seems as if I was completely out of my mind. The thing is I knew better. I argued with the psychics myself and told them what I knew was the truth. It's like an addiction though. Knowing better doesn't make you stop.

Isn't it scary?!  I'm not that far removed from the two months in which I poured thousands (literally) down the drain, one reading after the next via Keen.  I never thought of myself as someone who might be susceptible to that.  I ask myself WHO was that person who behaved like a total zombie?  I do believe that some people have some abilities, but the idea that MysticPassionMorgana or whatever (just making up a silly name here) on Keen.com could bring me peace is laughable.

I think it's made even worse that I got nothing tangible out of the money spent.  I've also dealt with an addiction to shopping, but at least I got something out of that and could recoup some of the money through resale.  This is just like nope, the money is gone, and there's nothing I can do about that.

[russianred]

Yes! Omg it's horrifying. I totally feel the same way about it. I can't believe I was calling all these people on Keen with silly names and chain smoker voices asking about my life. It's comical in a way but tragic in another. It feels like it was someone else, not me. Who was I, what was I thinking? I mean I understand and remember the state of mind I was in, I just can't believe it drove me to spend so much money.

Yes it's hard to accept that the money is gone and I don't have anything to show for it. I do feel like sometimes it helped me to talk to someone but it was way too expensive. And some of those psychics really made things worse for me.

I laughed at "chain smoker voices." Sometimes I would want to hang up immediately after hearing the person's voice and realizing what a joke s/he sounded like (the smarmy guys were the worst) but I almost always toughed it out for some reason.  I similarly feel like talking to some people was helpful, but I didn't need to talk SO much.

I don't plan to swear off all readings and have ONE planned for next month.  But the insane binges, just no.  Never again.  I have OCD and think that maybe the binge readings were a sort of compulsion, sort of like shopping with my shopping addiction.

[HornetKick]

Yes! Omg it's horrifying. I totally feel the same way about it. I can't believe I was calling all these people on Keen with silly names and chain smoker voices asking about my life. It's comical in a way but tragic in another. It feels like it was someone else, not me. Who was I, what was I thinking? I mean I understand and remember the state of mind I was in, I just can't believe it drove me to spend so much money.

Yes it's hard to accept that the money is gone and I don't have anything to show for it. I do feel like sometimes it helped me to talk to someone but it was way too expensive. And some of those psychics really made things worse for me.

I laughed at "chain smoker voices." Sometimes I would want to hang up immediately after hearing the person's voice and realizing what a joke s/he sounded like (the smarmy guys were the worst) but I almost always toughed it out for some reason.  I similarly feel like talking to some people was helpful, but I didn't need to talk SO much.

I don't plan to swear off all readings and have ONE planned for next month.  But the insane binges, just no.  Never again.  I have OCD and think that maybe the binge readings were a sort of compulsion, sort of like shopping with my shopping addiction.

Totally made me chuckle because sometimes they do come across as gnarly and craggy. I also avoid silly names because it just never came across as if they were legitimate. Don't they know how it sounds? Candybar??

[russianred]

I wanted to add one more thing.

I think that I finally started looking more at the FACTS of my situation rather than the EMOTIONS.  And I realized that psychics keep you in the EMOTIONS mindset by often making excuses for FACTS.

[Arigirl]

I wanted to add one more thing.

I think that I finally started looking more at the FACTS of my situation rather than the EMOTIONS.  And I realized that psychics keep you in the EMOTIONS mindset by often making excuses for FACTS.

I 100% agree!

[Miss Philosopher]

I wanted to add one more thing.

I think that I finally started looking more at the FACTS of my situation rather than the EMOTIONS.  And I realized that psychics keep you in the EMOTIONS mindset by often making excuses for FACTS.

This comment was absolutely brilliant. I completely agree. Right on!

[bee.23]

I wanted to add one more thing.

I think that I finally started looking more at the FACTS of my situation rather than the EMOTIONS.  And I realized that psychics keep you in the EMOTIONS mindset by often making excuses for FACTS.

SO VERY TRUE. Accuracy of this comment is insane lol

[Sincity2]

I agree too so well stated