Hi everyone,
I take so much from your situations and heartbreak, recovery and wisdom. I would love some insight (strength) here or in PM.
So my story started 3 years ago with a POI, a very amicable divorce, and an unsettling, emotionally damaging "relationship" with said POI. It almost crippled me financially with calling psychics. I was so kicked off course from the encounter that I wanted/needed to know what was coming down the path. It, as you all well know, is devastating. I am on the mend, and have an amazing therapist and my POI simply ghosted. 3 separate times, and I am a big part of the pattern. I am a smart lady, successful, but not when it came to this connection and 3 years later I sometimes scratch my head over this. I wrote him a letter. Haven't sent it.
I met a new person unexpectedly. The 1st person to turn my head and make me smile. He is smart, a work colleague (not same company) and I really like him. I know he is attracted to me. 1st kiss on 12/15 and then a flurry of texting, flirty and sexy and daily and even a request to go away together. I forgot about my 1st POI as I was in the moment and I couldn't believe I wasn't thinking about him. Yet I got nervous and scared after kiss. This new person I will call T.
So there are similar situations with both men. Both talked about seeing me and got sexy and flirty and attracted. Yet T talked about a trip, but he hasnt actually asked for a date yet. I did know he was away for 2 weeks immediately after the function we kissed at. And he has kept in touch. I like him, but I found myself nervous that he would just disappear like the other. And I am blurring the lines with the situations. They are very different men, but I am just not sure. And I binged this weekend. And feel terrible. My 1st instinct was to call a psychic to see if he was potential and if we get a date. Ashamed at myself. Thought that was over. He was away and texted Merry Cmas yesterday, but I am so focused on the date.
Grrr...With first POI there was a lot of physcial and we were intimate, this time it was a simple kiss and I feel like I was already intimate. Needed to vent. Maybe get your insight. Everyone saying let him chase, let him chase...but before I never thought of that, I was just me. Now I feel like I ruined it, with calling psychics. T doesn't know that. But I do and I feel like the connection is already tainted and I did it.
I know very well that whether you call or dont call no one really knows what happens. I learned the hard way, like most of us. My barometer is off. I gain strength from your stories, but now I feel like he is already gone and only 24 hours have passed. This is silly.
Think I tainted it by calling? Why do I feel like its already ruined?