Met with POI and left confused

[sawthelight]

Merry Christmas to you and everyone else as well and cheers to a better 2019!

[Deedee123]

It really seems to me that your POI is playing mind games with you in my opinion, but perhaps not intentionally. See by laying next to you, sleeping with you and meeting with you then saying "people can love each other and not be together" is going to mess with your head. It seems clearly he loves you, but he seems to be putting other things in his life infront of you when he could be putting you first, more. I completely agree that it'd be good for you to move on, it's not fair for you to wait around whilst he makes his mind up or plays mind games with you whilst he decides what he wants to do. He's had ample opportunity to decide and say he wants you back, but like the above poster said you need to be firm with him and say, "look let's cut to the chase, what are you wanting with me?". It is unfair to keep you hanging whilst he decides what he wants. You said he's done this since March, I think if he really wanted to make things happen he would have taken those steps in these 9 months to make that clear. You can't wait around for the hopes he will come back when he's ready in his time. I really would move on, date around or not but keep busy and no more readings on him if possible.. The thing is, he does love you so I think if he really wanted to, even if he is busy with his career that never stopped him before? I really think you're dealing with a guy who isn't sure of what he wants. We don't know if he has met up with other women since or if there's another woman around him that he might not be telling you about, he could be confused. I know Yona mentioned you another woman that likes him more than he likes her back. I'm not mentioning another woman to worry you, but who knows what is going on because he seems very confused and perhaps even not wanting any commitment with anybody..

I just feel if a man really wanted to make moves, he's had all year to decide what he wanted with you. I know we don't contact each other anymore, but I hope you have a nice Christmas.

It’s so hard because he’s on a contract job out of state, which is primarily why we can’t make a relationship work. He’s more focused on his job and career and less about dating or women. He told me he was fine being single so it just hurts I guess since we did spend 8 years together. 9 months away is nothing compared to 8 years we’ve spent together. I just don’t know how you can be in love with someone and not be with them. It’s weird to me. I know I need to just focus on myself but it’s hard because I do love him and I really know he loves me. I hope you have a nice Christmas too!

[star1]

It really seems to me that your POI is playing mind games with you in my opinion, but perhaps not intentionally. See by laying next to you, sleeping with you and meeting with you then saying "people can love each other and not be together" is going to mess with your head. It seems clearly he loves you, but he seems to be putting other things in his life infront of you when he could be putting you first, more. I completely agree that it'd be good for you to move on, it's not fair for you to wait around whilst he makes his mind up or plays mind games with you whilst he decides what he wants to do. He's had ample opportunity to decide and say he wants you back, but like the above poster said you need to be firm with him and say, "look let's cut to the chase, what are you wanting with me?". It is unfair to keep you hanging whilst he decides what he wants. You said he's done this since March, I think if he really wanted to make things happen he would have taken those steps in these 9 months to make that clear. You can't wait around for the hopes he will come back when he's ready in his time. I really would move on, date around or not but keep busy and no more readings on him if possible.. The thing is, he does love you so I think if he really wanted to, even if he is busy with his career that never stopped him before? I really think you're dealing with a guy who isn't sure of what he wants. We don't know if he has met up with other women since or if there's another woman around him that he might not be telling you about, he could be confused. I know Yona mentioned you another woman that likes him more than he likes her back. I'm not mentioning another woman to worry you, but who knows what is going on because he seems very confused and perhaps even not wanting any commitment with anybody..

I just feel if a man really wanted to make moves, he's had all year to decide what he wanted with you. I know we don't contact each other anymore, but I hope you have a nice Christmas.

It’s so hard because he’s on a contract job out of state, which is primarily why we can’t make a relationship work. He’s more focused on his job and career and less about dating or women. He told me he was fine being single so it just hurts I guess since we did spend 8 years together. 9 months away is nothing compared to 8 years we’ve spent together. I just don’t know how you can be in love with someone and not be with them. It’s weird to me. I know I need to just focus on myself but it’s hard because I do love him and I really know he loves me. I hope you have a nice Christmas too!

I just feel like if he is too busy for a relationship, the least he could do is give you some idea of what's going on. Like, he could say "well let's be casual, I can't fully commit with a relationship, but I want to date you but not feel tied down yet because of work", or some indicator. It's like he's messing you about and expects you to wait there and put up with it. He's had ample opportunity to. And I don't blame you for not being ready to move on, only you can move on when you feel ready to. I do hope you can get to a point like I did where you go "fuck it, if he wants me he wants me but I'm moving on til he shows me any signs".

[Deedee123]

It really seems to me that your POI is playing mind games with you in my opinion, but perhaps not intentionally. See by laying next to you, sleeping with you and meeting with you then saying "people can love each other and not be together" is going to mess with your head. It seems clearly he loves you, but he seems to be putting other things in his life infront of you when he could be putting you first, more. I completely agree that it'd be good for you to move on, it's not fair for you to wait around whilst he makes his mind up or plays mind games with you whilst he decides what he wants to do. He's had ample opportunity to decide and say he wants you back, but like the above poster said you need to be firm with him and say, "look let's cut to the chase, what are you wanting with me?". It is unfair to keep you hanging whilst he decides what he wants. You said he's done this since March, I think if he really wanted to make things happen he would have taken those steps in these 9 months to make that clear. You can't wait around for the hopes he will come back when he's ready in his time. I really would move on, date around or not but keep busy and no more readings on him if possible.. The thing is, he does love you so I think if he really wanted to, even if he is busy with his career that never stopped him before? I really think you're dealing with a guy who isn't sure of what he wants. We don't know if he has met up with other women since or if there's another woman around him that he might not be telling you about, he could be confused. I know Yona mentioned you another woman that likes him more than he likes her back. I'm not mentioning another woman to worry you, but who knows what is going on because he seems very confused and perhaps even not wanting any commitment with anybody..

I just feel if a man really wanted to make moves, he's had all year to decide what he wanted with you. I know we don't contact each other anymore, but I hope you have a nice Christmas.

It’s so hard because he’s on a contract job out of state, which is primarily why we can’t make a relationship work. He’s more focused on his job and career and less about dating or women. He told me he was fine being single so it just hurts I guess since we did spend 8 years together. 9 months away is nothing compared to 8 years we’ve spent together. I just don’t know how you can be in love with someone and not be with them. It’s weird to me. I know I need to just focus on myself but it’s hard because I do love him and I really know he loves me. I hope you have a nice Christmas too!

I just feel like if he is too busy for a relationship, the least he could do is give you some idea of what's going on. Like, he could say "well let's be casual, I can't fully commit with a relationship, but I want to date you but not feel tied down yet because of work", or some indicator. It's like he's messing you about and expects you to wait there and put up with it. He's had ample opportunity to. And I don't blame you for not being ready to move on, only you can move on when you feel ready to. I do hope you can get to a point like I did where you go "fuck it, if he wants me he wants me but I'm moving on til he shows me any signs".

Yeah, I really feel like I’m there at this point. I spilled my heart out with a long ass text saying how I felt and didn’t get anything in return. I keep giving him excuses like “he’s more focused on his career, he doesn’t know where he’s going after March” but I can’t keep waiting either. I’m definitely keeping busy and working hard and doing my own thing but it’s in the back of my mind too so it’s always there’s. I didn’t expect anything to happen when I saw him but he sat there and told me how in love with me he was and I’m just mind fucked and it hurts. Ughhhhh. I’m frustrated because he didn’t even say anything to my text so I don’t even really have an option at this stage other than not worrying about the situation. He’s busy, I’m busy, we’re still in love. Maybe when we are settled and happy with where we’re at, we can reconnect and get back together but maybe not. And I’m almost okay with the maybe not. Ugh.

[Deedee123]

Merry Christmas to you and everyone else as well and cheers to a better 2019!

Merry Christmas! And to everyone else here on the review board. Y’all have helped me get through the majority of this year just by sharing your own stories and giving me feedback when I needed it the most. Thanks again all.

[Deedee123]

I couldn’t be friends with someone I have intense feelings for. I did try with first poi when it was obvious he wasn’t looking for any kind of commitment. But in the end it was too painful for me to have him in my life. I had to move on because having him in my life was causing me too much pain.

I kept hanging on to what the psychics told me, that eventually he would come around, but he never did.

I would cave and contact him when I knew I should’ve stayed away, but I finally got it through my thick head to stop lol. Took a long time though. It’s funny because last time he contacted me, I remember a strong inner voice telling me not to respond. And I didn’t, so I’m proud of myself for that at least. I’m sure he would have been happy to keep me in his life on his terms, but that wasn’t working for me.

Yeah,  I told him in the last message I sent that I can’t just be friends and that if he decided if he wasn’t all in then don’t text me back. And he didn’t. So I guess that’s my answer. I just... don’t know how he can say how much in love with me he still is. I mean I guess it’s because he does and even if he does work out of state, feelings don’t change. But I’m still holding on to the love because I feel like we could make it work... even if it’s not now. It’s weird.

[jhuskindle]

I couldn’t be friends with someone I have intense feelings for. I did try with first poi when it was obvious he wasn’t looking for any kind of commitment. But in the end it was too painful for me to have him in my life. I had to move on because having him in my life was causing me too much pain.

I kept hanging on to what the psychics told me, that eventually he would come around, but he never did.

I would cave and contact him when I knew I should’ve stayed away, but I finally got it through my thick head to stop lol. Took a long time though. It’s funny because last time he contacted me, I remember a strong inner voice telling me not to respond. And I didn’t, so I’m proud of myself for that at least. I’m sure he would have been happy to keep me in his life on his terms, but that wasn’t working for me.

Yeah,  I told him in the last message I sent that I can’t just be friends and that if he decided if he wasn’t all in then don’t text me back. And he didn’t. So I guess that’s my answer. I just... don’t know how he can say how much in love with me he still is. I mean I guess it’s because he does and even if he does work out of state, feelings don’t change. But I’m still holding on to the love because I feel like we could make it work... even if it’s not now. It’s weird.

My heart breaks for you, sending lots of love and healing <3

[sawthelight]

I couldn’t be friends with someone I have intense feelings for. I did try with first poi when it was obvious he wasn’t looking for any kind of commitment. But in the end it was too painful for me to have him in my life. I had to move on because having him in my life was causing me too much pain.

I kept hanging on to what the psychics told me, that eventually he would come around, but he never did.

I would cave and contact him when I knew I should’ve stayed away, but I finally got it through my thick head to stop lol. Took a long time though. It’s funny because last time he contacted me, I remember a strong inner voice telling me not to respond. And I didn’t, so I’m proud of myself for that at least. I’m sure he would have been happy to keep me in his life on his terms, but that wasn’t working for me.

Yeah,  I told him in the last message I sent that I can’t just be friends and that if he decided if he wasn’t all in then don’t text me back. And he didn’t. So I guess that’s my answer. I just... don’t know how he can say how much in love with me he still is. I mean I guess it’s because he does and even if he does work out of state, feelings don’t change. But I’m still holding on to the love because I feel like we could make it work... even if it’s not now. It’s weird.

ugh, hugs to you...that's rough..but in the end, at least you have your answer.  I had my first POI tell me several times he wasn't looking for anything serious, and it's almost as if I was in denial (and I blame the readings for this) and kept hoping for more.  When I finally accepted what is, instead of what I wish it would be, it was a game changer.  While it's depressing and sad, I am glad I came to my senses.

Never let someone keep you on the sidelines while you wait for them to get their shit together..you're worth more than that!

The readings kept me hanging on, because small predictions would come thru so I kept saying, well the big one will come through eventually...it never did.

Funny part is, while I still have readings here and there, literally NOTHING they have told me has come through in the last six months or so, whether it be about the last POI, or a new POI, or anything.  Readings are so pointless.

[Deedee123]

Got a text from him a few hours ago... it said

“I’m not ignoring you” ... 4 days from my text. How annoying. I’m not even responding. Kinda laughed at it actually.

[jhuskindle]

Got a text from him a few hours ago... it said

“I’m not ignoring you” ... 4 days from my text. How annoying. I’m not even responding. Kinda laughed at it actually.

Narcissism? Wtf is with that.... you told him not to talk, he didn’t ignore you, you told him not to talk unless he is ready. How dare he try to take that power from you. Ridiculous asshole.

[star1]

Got a text from him a few hours ago... it said

“I’m not ignoring you” ... 4 days from my text. How annoying. I’m not even responding. Kinda laughed at it actually.

Narcissism? Wtf is with that.... you told him not to talk, he didn’t ignore you, you told him not to talk unless he is ready. How dare he try to take that power from you. Ridiculous asshole.

Yeah I see what Kindle means. You texted him the other day and said to answer to your question or don't answer and then he replies a little late and you're mad at him. You literally said the other day that he's too busy for a relationship because of his work but get angry when he takes 4 days to reply. Who knows what's going on with him, he might also be that busy he hasn't been on his phone at all. Who knows. Like I said, he can't give you what you want clearly right now, if you're going to get mad cause he can't send you a text within a few days (which if he isn't that busy I can see why you'd feel frustrated cause it takes a few seconds to respond unless he's generally really busy with work) and he's going to string you along and keep giving you false hope, it's not going to work out. It doesn't matter that you were together for 8 years, it doesn't mean to say that the relationship isn't unhealthy or not toxic, or his behaviour to you is okay - only you know that. Have you tried considering moving on at all ? You do deserve better and I'd keep a lookout for this man that's meant to come in that Yona and Leanne saw. It's just without seeming unkind, you're both kinda behaving similar in ways. He's giving you mixed signals and then you're one moment saying you love him and need answers and when he replies, you ignore and are mad at him so he's going to close off more - to which you'll close off more the more he behaves the way he's doing. You're like, both bouncing off of each other.

[jhuskindle]

The point is that by saying he is not ignoring her he’s taking her power from her ignoring the previous message and making it seem he is in control. This is a narcissistic technique. I forget the term. It’s a way to remove power. They also wait till you cooled down etc. watch some videos on narcissism you’ll see what I mean. It’s not the text 4 days laterthat’s the problem it’s the content,

[Deedee123]

The point is that by saying he is not ignoring her he’s taking her power from her ignoring the previous message and making it seem he is in control. This is a narcissistic technique. I forget the term. It’s a way to remove power. They also wait till you cooled down etc. watch some videos on narcissism you’ll see what I mean. It’s not the text 4 days laterthat’s the problem it’s the content,

Yep, exactly. I ended up having a conversation with him and it was just awful. He asked me to come hook up and I said is that all you want from me? He said “kinda”. I said fuck that, don’t text me unless you want a relationship or something other than that because I’m not being used and not being hurt. He texted an hour later said “ok” . So yeah. Annoyed, pissed and obviously hurt. He leaves to go back to work in 2 days so whatever.

[Deedee123]

I blocked him from my Snapchat (weren’t friends but he’d occasionally call me and message me there for some reason) blocked him from Instagram (doesn’t follow me but watches my story daily) and decided to keep on keeping on because I’m tired of fucking feeling this way.


 now that I think about it, when I had a top off with Yona she said “set back before the end of the year” so maybe this is it. She also said “you’re making decisions because you’re pissed off waiting but it’s not the right time for that, you’re a few weeks away from that”

so I guess this kinda falls in line with that. the next thing she says I ignore him because I want things to be fair and progressive... I mean this all really fits into that I think.

But I feel like I’m at that point where what the fuckever... I don’t want to think about it and continue to get hurt. He says he’s in love with me but actions speak louder than words and I can’t take it anymore.


going along with Yona, she said the after a period of ignoring him, he’s here again face to face and he wants to reconnect and be together. I don’t even know how the fuck that will happen at this point because I’m utterly pissed off at the events that occurred since he came home. Who says the things he says to someone?

“I’m so in love with you, if I get you pregnant, I’ll drop everything for you and be there for you no matter what, you know that right?” Like why is this such a mind fuck? It hurts so bad guys... I just don’t want to feel this way anymore. I’m afraid nothing will change and I’ll feel like I’ve wasted months on someone who, although loves me, doesn’t give a fuck how I feel. I even said to him last night “why do you want to hurt me like this?” He said “I didn’t hurt you” I said “you’re doing it right now and you’ve done it since you’ve left” he says “ohhhhh” like what the fuck. Ugh.

[star1]

The point is that by saying he is not ignoring her he’s taking her power from her ignoring the previous message and making it seem he is in control. This is a narcissistic technique. I forget the term. It’s a way to remove power. They also wait till you cooled down etc. watch some videos on narcissism you’ll see what I mean. It’s not the text 4 days laterthat’s the problem it’s the content,

Yep, exactly. I ended up having a conversation with him and it was just awful. He asked me to come hook up and I said is that all you want from me? He said “kinda”. I said fuck that, don’t text me unless you want a relationship or something other than that because I’m not being used and not being hurt. He texted an hour later said “ok” . So yeah. Annoyed, pissed and obviously hurt. He leaves to go back to work in 2 days so whatever.

Then why are you still having readings and waiting on him when you're this frustrated and know he's so bad for you when you know he isn't treating you right? He's showing you no respect, he's sleeping with you when it's in his terms, he's replying to your texts in his terms, he could be doing anything that you don't know about and I do feel so sorry for you because my ex was like you. He threw out a fishing line for me thinking "oohh he really cares about me because he did this and that", and in reality he was using me. Yeah your ex probably does have feelings for you, yes there are potential narcissistic behaviours going on, going off of what you've posted on here alone.

Just because Yona said something, it doesn't mean it's certain, it could or couldn't happen, or could happen with another guy years down the line. She told me that my ex and I are meant to have contact, I'd get my tower imminently and we would arrange meeting up and slowly get back into a relationship, we'd exchange flirty texts - none of it has happened. This is what I'm trying to say.. It's important to let your readings go because they might or might not happen, just because Yona said it, it isn't certain to happen. Just because you were both together 8 or so years, doesn't make his behaviour to you is right.. You deserve to be treated special and honestly if a man loves you he would do moves to show that he wants you in his life. Like someone said before, he might love you but not be in love with you.. Seems to me like he's messing you about he's sticking a foot in the door to open it then moving his foot out of the way and closing the door again. Narcissistic behaviour includes hoovering where they disappear for a while and then come back and say all the sweet things to make you feel loved and great, they get what they want and back off again. Honestly DeeDee123, you're best off trying to keep busy from this guy in 2019. He just is treating you unfairly and men can be busy with work but will make any time with someone.