I think I understand why sometimes readings can change. (Myself as an example)

[icloud9]

Thanks to all of you, I really appreciate your feedback and also support...

It's so true that men don't know how to multi-task, for the most part...I feel like they like to focus on one thing at a time...and when they're stressed, instead of communicating those "feelings",  they just shut it down and keep themselves even busier.
I also feel like it's even worse when they have a crazy ex still around...it's like that ex reminds you of what exactly it's like to have a relationship with somebody (EXTRA STRESS).
Men don't really THINK ABOUT their feelings, do they lol. I mean, I thought about these feelings that I've been feeling all day today and I realize that I really don't want to go back to my ex. I love him but i don't love him like "that."

I thought about what it is that I'm feeling (because unlike men we women know how to dissect our feelings LOL) and it's just that I'm really just ready to "settle down." I want stability. I want to start a family and I want to have kids before my biological clock shuts off (and I'm SO close lol).
My ex is a millionaire. I know that If I settled with him I would never have any issues as far as financial security...He would provide me with a good life. We can travel together. Not that I can't do these things now - traveling, having financial security etc, because I make a good living also, but my income is not passive like his is, so I'm still as busy as a bee and I don't really have much time to live the luxurious life like he is able to.
BUT....I don't feel emotionally "connected" to him at all anymore... I cant even tell if this is because of the broken trust or because I have literally grown out of him, because  let me tell you- I used to be so IN LOVE with him. SO MADLY in love. The same reason why I gave him a second chance when he first cheated on me lol. So imagine what kind of damage it was done to me when he cheated on me.
BUT, I am rational. I don't want to choose someone just because I want to 'settle down'. I want to choose someone because I LOVE THEM so much (which in this case, it's my current POI).
I feel like If I got married to my ex, eventually down the line I would start thinking about the "what if' and become miserable. "Oh what if I had waited for my POI , then we would be together right now" - I dont want to have a single doubt like this when I'm actually married to somebody.
BUT here is also another thing- I heard that women are usually happier when we pick someone who loves us more than we love them. It's so clear that my ex is deeply in love with me....I'm not saying that my POI isn't...but he is in a hermit mode right now and he isn't "showing" it to me...and I'm thinking...well where is the guarnatee that my current POI will be truly READY? at the time that I would want him to? and before my biological clock runs out lol.

 According to my trusted advisor, apparently this period is going to last until January... I have no problem being patient, but I also can't seem to control my growing curiosity of the "what if" scenario with my EX.
You guys see how conflicted I am right now? I feel like I don't even make sense.  Sorry for all of this, I just needed to vent lol.

And @Sparky I love what you said about free will and destiny.

[sawthelight]

I have to say though, I do think when a guy meets a girl he really wants to be with, he will put all the baggage/delaying tactics to the side and really pursue her.  I dated a guy once who just got out of a nasty divorce (like five months before) and he dated A LOT of women in between me and his ex, but when me and him started to date, he got serious with me quick..and I was with him for a while. 

Not all men are the same, but a guy that really loves or has good intentions for you won't leave you wondering for too long...he won't risk losing you.

That should have been my first clue that the first POI was no good for me, he had no issue walking away from me for long periods of time and not caring whether or not that would mean I would be gone for good.

[icloud9]

I have to say though, I do think when a guy meets a girl he really wants to be with, he will put all the baggage/delaying tactics to the side and really pursue her.  I dated a guy once who just got out of a nasty divorce (like five months before) and he dated A LOT of women in between me and his ex, but when me and him started to date, he got serious with me quick..and I was with him for a while. 

Not all men are the same, but a guy that really loves or has good intentions for you won't leave you wondering for too long...he won't risk losing you.

That should have been my first clue that the first POI was no good for me, he had no issue walking away from me for long periods of time and not caring whether or not that would mean I would be gone for good.

Yeah I agree. The thing is that it's not that he completely ghosted me, he did let me know about these things he's dealing with and that he is super stressed...and that his ex is pissing him off lol.. and I told him to take his time.
We previously had a talk where we both let eachother know about our intentions for this relationship....And we sort of had that "Exclusivity" talk. He said he doesnt want to see anyone else, and I said the same thing. But we just haven't made it into an official relationship.

[sawthelight]

I have to say though, I do think when a guy meets a girl he really wants to be with, he will put all the baggage/delaying tactics to the side and really pursue her.  I dated a guy once who just got out of a nasty divorce (like five months before) and he dated A LOT of women in between me and his ex, but when me and him started to date, he got serious with me quick..and I was with him for a while. 

Not all men are the same, but a guy that really loves or has good intentions for you won't leave you wondering for too long...he won't risk losing you.

That should have been my first clue that the first POI was no good for me, he had no issue walking away from me for long periods of time and not caring whether or not that would mean I would be gone for good.

Yeah I agree. The thing is that it's not that he completely ghosted me, he did let me know about these things he's dealing with and that he is super stressed...and that his ex is pissing him off lol.. and I told him to take his time.
We previously had a talk where we both let eachother know about our intentions for this relationship....And we sort of had that "Exclusivity" talk. He said he doesnt want to see anyone else, and I said the same thing. But we just haven't made it into an official relationship.

Ah ok, well that's totally different, it's good he's being open and honest with you.  It's not good to rush into something when you are not ready (in his case) anyway.

[ladya]

Everyone is different. A lot of women can put aside their emotional needs and be with someone who is in love with them and provides for them. To me this is exactly why the divorce rate is so high and people are unhappy. You go into it not happy and it just goes downhill from there. I don’t believe that either of the two people should love the other person more but I could never be with someone just because he loved me more than I did. To me that’s settling. In that case I rather be alone tbh. I’d be miserable and prob end up leaving eventually. I understand the whole biological clock but what you’re doing is the right thing. I’d do the same in your position. Just the way we’re wired. Marriage is a partnership 50/50 not 70/30 or 100/0

[sparky]

Try being a guy that was dumped because your ex said:  "When I am 80 and look back at my life.  I don't think I will be happy with you."  But you know two days prior you wanted a ring and everyone that saw you could see just how happy you were with me.  She was also worried about her Biological clock.  She just turned 30 earlier this year.  I was looking at rings to propose to her this last summer.  She had time with her biological clock because I wanted kids right away after our marriage which more likely would have been in 2019 if not maybe already happen this year.  Now the current guy she is with.  Her body language just looks completely closed off.  I am not saying that to just sound good.  I have had countless people see the same thing even my therapist.  But yet she is still with that guy and I am waiting to see if the predictions happen in Jan.  I always believe that her and I were meant to be together from the moment we started dating.  I always said long before I talked to any psychic that we had a bond that I couldn't explain.  Now all the psychics tell me that the bond is really strong and there still.  So here is hoping she returns.

[icloud9]

For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.

Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.

There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!

There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationships (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.

Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)

My trusted psychic said my past relationship was completely done. and I believed it....still do. But I guess because we are humans, we sometimes ponder on things like this.....doesn't mean we "act" on our thoughts, right? lol
Sometimes I think we just have to hear ourselves talk.
I think this is why reading just with empaths is dangerous..because they just pick up on THOUGHTS and INTENTIONS, from what I understand. If my ex got a reading on me right now i'm pretty sure the empath psychic would tell him "oh she wants you back now...she is re-thinking her options and realizing she misses you"
 LOL it would be hilarious.

[icloud9]

Try being a guy that was dumped because your ex said:  "When I am 80 and look back at my life.  I don't think I will be happy with you."  But you know two days prior you wanted a ring and everyone that saw you could see just how happy you were with me.  She was also worried about her Biological clock.  She just turned 30 earlier this year.  I was looking at rings to propose to her this last summer.  She had time with her biological clock because I wanted kids right away after our marriage which more likely would have been in 2019 if not maybe already happen this year.  Now the current guy she is with.  Her body language just looks completely closed off.  I am not saying that to just sound good.  I have had countless people see the same thing even my therapist.  But yet she is still with that guy and I am waiting to see if the predictions happen in Jan.  I always believe that her and I were meant to be together from the moment we started dating.  I always said long before I talked to any psychic that we had a bond that I couldn't explain.  Now all the psychics tell me that the bond is really strong and there still.  So here is hoping she returns.

Wow your situation sounds very similar to mine. You sound like my ex talking haha! He keeps telling me my current guy isnt good for me and that he can treat me much much better and spoil me to all the luxuries of life. But the difference is that HE doesn't know what he's talking about and he'd just say anything to try to get me to change my mind and take his offer. You on the other hand actually sound like you and your ex had a genuine connection.... (not saying me and my ex didn't either, but that DIED after I made the final decision of being done with him because of how much damage he had caused in my heart)

It's true that sometimes people have to go through some shit to realize what they had. I hope it's the case for your ex. It's true that us women do compare our current relationship to past...we always wanna make sure our current one is the BEST one we've ever had, or else we will miss our old relationship and almost forget the down sides. I do hope she realizes that connection she has with you.

[sparky]

Try being a guy that was dumped because your ex said:  "When I am 80 and look back at my life.  I don't think I will be happy with you."  But you know two days prior you wanted a ring and everyone that saw you could see just how happy you were with me.  She was also worried about her Biological clock.  She just turned 30 earlier this year.  I was looking at rings to propose to her this last summer.  She had time with her biological clock because I wanted kids right away after our marriage which more likely would have been in 2019 if not maybe already happen this year.  Now the current guy she is with.  Her body language just looks completely closed off.  I am not saying that to just sound good.  I have had countless people see the same thing even my therapist.  But yet she is still with that guy and I am waiting to see if the predictions happen in Jan.  I always believe that her and I were meant to be together from the moment we started dating.  I always said long before I talked to any psychic that we had a bond that I couldn't explain.  Now all the psychics tell me that the bond is really strong and there still.  So here is hoping she returns.

Wow your situation sounds very similar to mine. You sound like my ex talking haha! He keeps telling me my current guy isnt good for me and that he can treat me much much better and spoil me to all the luxuries of life. But the difference is that HE doesn't know what he's talking about and he'd just say anything to try to get me to change my mind and take his offer. You on the other hand actually sound like you and your ex had a genuine connection.... (not saying me and my ex didn't either, but that DIED after I made the final decision of being done with him because of how much damage he had caused in my heart)

It's true that sometimes people have to go through some shit to realize what they had. I hope it's the case for your ex. It's true that us women do compare our current relationship to past...we always wanna make sure our current one is the BEST one we've ever had, or else we will miss our old relationship and almost forget the down sides. I do hope she realizes that connection she has with you.

haha I can assure you I am not your ex.  Though maybe I wouldn't mind having his bank account for awhile. lol  I actually don't think I could spoil my ex with luxuries but I know we would definitely live comfortably.  I just know that I will provide for her and my family.  That is my utmost importance but I just don't see it with this guy in photos of them.  It is just so weird and I feel like he just sees her more as a trophy.  Again not the only one to say that and I have had countless tell me that.  We did have a genuine connection and that is what hurts the most about it.  I never in my life felt the way about someone as I do her.  It was completely unreal.  When she broke up with me, I wanted her back so bad.  I was trying to figure everything out.  Where did I go wrong?  What can I do to fix and improve myself.  I did a lot of self reflection because I wanted to be the best person I could be.  I didn't want to make the same mistakes.  It was tough to go through that process and I did it alone which made it even harder.

I am hoping she remembers as well.  In fact a lot of what I got back from Shelly's reading was her remember all the good in our relationship.  Our relationship wasn't bad.  We argued on occasion but during that time I was truly happy.  Her mom told me that was the happiest she ever was.  Right now she is going on 6 months with this guy.  So still short but there are so many things that I have heard about their relationship that are red flags.  I just hope what all the psychics say about her ending it right after the new year and reaching out happens.  From there the road to reconciliation is a few months out.  Which is something I made sure to clear up with them when I talk to a psychic.  Since contact and reconciliation are two different things.  I think once that first step occurs I will start to feel better about it.

[ladya]

Try being a guy that was dumped because your ex said:  "When I am 80 and look back at my life.  I don't think I will be happy with you."  But you know two days prior you wanted a ring and everyone that saw you could see just how happy you were with me.  She was also worried about her Biological clock.  She just turned 30 earlier this year.  I was looking at rings to propose to her this last summer.  She had time with her biological clock because I wanted kids right away after our marriage which more likely would have been in 2019 if not maybe already happen this year.  Now the current guy she is with.  Her body language just looks completely closed off.  I am not saying that to just sound good.  I have had countless people see the same thing even my therapist.  But yet she is still with that guy and I am waiting to see if the predictions happen in Jan.  I always believe that her and I were meant to be together from the moment we started dating.  I always said long before I talked to any psychic that we had a bond that I couldn't explain.  Now all the psychics tell me that the bond is really strong and there still.  So here is hoping she returns.

Wow your situation sounds very similar to mine. You sound like my ex talking haha! He keeps telling me my current guy isnt good for me and that he can treat me much much better and spoil me to all the luxuries of life. But the difference is that HE doesn't know what he's talking about and he'd just say anything to try to get me to change my mind and take his offer. You on the other hand actually sound like you and your ex had a genuine connection.... (not saying me and my ex didn't either, but that DIED after I made the final decision of being done with him because of how much damage he had caused in my heart)

It's true that sometimes people have to go through some shit to realize what they had. I hope it's the case for your ex. It's true that us women do compare our current relationship to past...we always wanna make sure our current one is the BEST one we've ever had, or else we will miss our old relationship and almost forget the down sides. I do hope she realizes that connection she has with you.

haha I can assure you I am not your ex.  Though maybe I wouldn't mind having his bank account for awhile. lol  I actually don't think I could spoil my ex with luxuries but I know we would definitely live comfortably.  I just know that I will provide for her and my family.  That is my utmost importance but I just don't see it with this guy in photos of them.  It is just so weird and I feel like he just sees her more as a trophy.  Again not the only one to say that and I have had countless tell me that.  We did have a genuine connection and that is what hurts the most about it.  I never in my life felt the way about someone as I do her.  It was completely unreal.  When she broke up with me, I wanted her back so bad.  I was trying to figure everything out.  Where did I go wrong?  What can I do to fix and improve myself.  I did a lot of self reflection because I wanted to be the best person I could be.  I didn't want to make the same mistakes.  It was tough to go through that process and I did it alone which made it even harder.

I am hoping she remembers as well.  In fact a lot of what I got back from Shelly's reading was her remember all the good in our relationship.  Our relationship wasn't bad.  We argued on occasion but during that time I was truly happy.  Her mom told me that was the happiest she ever was.  Right now she is going on 6 months with this guy.  So still short but there are so many things that I have heard about their relationship that are red flags.  I just hope what all the psychics say about her ending it right after the new year and reaching out happens.  From there the road to reconciliation is a few months out.  Which is something I made sure to clear up with them when I talk to a psychic.  Since contact and reconciliation are two different things.  I think once that first step occurs I will start to feel better about it.

Good luck sparky! Maybe she was scared you weren’t going to propose soon so she left esp if people were in her ear about it. Have you reached out to her?

[sparky]

Try being a guy that was dumped because your ex said:  "When I am 80 and look back at my life.  I don't think I will be happy with you."  But you know two days prior you wanted a ring and everyone that saw you could see just how happy you were with me.  She was also worried about her Biological clock.  She just turned 30 earlier this year.  I was looking at rings to propose to her this last summer.  She had time with her biological clock because I wanted kids right away after our marriage which more likely would have been in 2019 if not maybe already happen this year.  Now the current guy she is with.  Her body language just looks completely closed off.  I am not saying that to just sound good.  I have had countless people see the same thing even my therapist.  But yet she is still with that guy and I am waiting to see if the predictions happen in Jan.  I always believe that her and I were meant to be together from the moment we started dating.  I always said long before I talked to any psychic that we had a bond that I couldn't explain.  Now all the psychics tell me that the bond is really strong and there still.  So here is hoping she returns.

Wow your situation sounds very similar to mine. You sound like my ex talking haha! He keeps telling me my current guy isnt good for me and that he can treat me much much better and spoil me to all the luxuries of life. But the difference is that HE doesn't know what he's talking about and he'd just say anything to try to get me to change my mind and take his offer. You on the other hand actually sound like you and your ex had a genuine connection.... (not saying me and my ex didn't either, but that DIED after I made the final decision of being done with him because of how much damage he had caused in my heart)

It's true that sometimes people have to go through some shit to realize what they had. I hope it's the case for your ex. It's true that us women do compare our current relationship to past...we always wanna make sure our current one is the BEST one we've ever had, or else we will miss our old relationship and almost forget the down sides. I do hope she realizes that connection she has with you.

haha I can assure you I am not your ex.  Though maybe I wouldn't mind having his bank account for awhile. lol  I actually don't think I could spoil my ex with luxuries but I know we would definitely live comfortably.  I just know that I will provide for her and my family.  That is my utmost importance but I just don't see it with this guy in photos of them.  It is just so weird and I feel like he just sees her more as a trophy.  Again not the only one to say that and I have had countless tell me that.  We did have a genuine connection and that is what hurts the most about it.  I never in my life felt the way about someone as I do her.  It was completely unreal.  When she broke up with me, I wanted her back so bad.  I was trying to figure everything out.  Where did I go wrong?  What can I do to fix and improve myself.  I did a lot of self reflection because I wanted to be the best person I could be.  I didn't want to make the same mistakes.  It was tough to go through that process and I did it alone which made it even harder.

I am hoping she remembers as well.  In fact a lot of what I got back from Shelly's reading was her remember all the good in our relationship.  Our relationship wasn't bad.  We argued on occasion but during that time I was truly happy.  Her mom told me that was the happiest she ever was.  Right now she is going on 6 months with this guy.  So still short but there are so many things that I have heard about their relationship that are red flags.  I just hope what all the psychics say about her ending it right after the new year and reaching out happens.  From there the road to reconciliation is a few months out.  Which is something I made sure to clear up with them when I talk to a psychic.  Since contact and reconciliation are two different things.  I think once that first step occurs I will start to feel better about it.

Good luck sparky! Maybe she was scared you weren’t going to propose soon so she left esp if people were in her ear about it. Have you reached out to her?

I did way back but I can't right now.  If need be I can explain in in a PM.

[ladya]

That’s so sad. I felt from reading your situation her friends play a part in it. This happened in my last relationship. Way too many chefs in the kitchen and people always want to tell others how to lead their life but can’t manage their own. This is why now I don’t tell anyone my business. Outside influence can really destroy a good thing. Hopefully she realizes it and comes to her senses.

[sparky]

That’s so sad. I felt from reading your situation her friends play a part in it. This happened in my last relationship. Way too many chefs in the kitchen and people always want to tell others how to lead their life but can’t manage their own. This is why now I don’t tell anyone my business. Outside influence can really destroy a good thing. Hopefully she realizes it and comes to her senses.

Yes they can.  I think it is okay to get advice but there are somethings when it comes to a relationship that should only be discussed between your partner.  This is her friends.  I would randomly by my ex flowers.  She was always happy about that and tell her friends.  They would start to get upset with her anytime she mentioned I bought her flowers.  They were jealous because their SO wouldn't do that for them.  It was to the point that she didn't even want to share that she got flowers anymore with people.  Her joy was gone about them.

So here is a nice thought regarding the destiny/free will.  Out of all this what do you perceive as destiny or free will?  You could say that my ex being friends with them could be destiny that she met them for a life changing event.  To learn and grow from even though it separated us but the same destiny can bring us back together.  Or do you think it was free will that she listened to them casing the break up?  How is that to mess with your brain for a bit. 

[sparky]

Sparky. You sound like a nice guy and I'm sorry you are going through this. But when someone threatens a restraining order, that's like an alarm bell going off telling you to wake up. Even if it was just other people around her manipulating things, and not what she truly wants or feels, that's a serious problem that does not bode well for a relationship.

She told you directly she is trying to move on, and you call that a stupid thing to say? Stupid in what way?

It is stupid because you should never tell your ex that.  Why? 1) They already know that and you directly saying you are trying tells them you are still hung up on them months later.  2)  If you are already in a new relationship, you should already be moved on.  By not already moving on and going into another relationship.  You are already jeopardizing that new relationship.  It makes that relationship more of a rebound whether you would go back to your ex or not.  It means you have not evaluated what you did wrong in a relationship and fixed that before a new one.  So you will repeat all the same mistakes.  That isn't fair to the new person you are dating either because you really are not fully invested.

[KotaSwan]

For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.

Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.

There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!

There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationships (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.

Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)

Men aren’t women though. A lot of women can juggle things, men can’t. Men have all their life aspects in different compartments. You just have to know the type of man that you’re getting involved with and whether you can deal with that. Men with a lot of masculine qualities and more independent type tend to need a cave to escape to for some time. The more feminine ones don’t. Pick your poison, no one is perfect.

^^^^ THIS!  100%. It's what my therapist will tell me all day long and what woman dont understand.  Men are so different than us. Most dont multitask well.  When they're focused on work, they really are focused on work!  We can think about them, work, our kids and the 10 loads of laundry that needs folded, all at the same time:). They are also capable of burying feelings.  It's why there are sooo many articles out there as to why women actually move on from relationships quicker than men.  And explains why they come back sometimes years later!

this is true...men can't multitask for crap.  LOL 

I can multi-ta.... wait what was I doing just now?




Joking aside I actually can multi-task just fine.  The key I found is balance though if I really need to focus on something I will shift on only that.  Though like LAW said we will bury feelings.  I will do that but I can tell you one thing.  When I find that one special person that I want to spend the rest of my life with I don't bury anything.  I am completely open with them and it takes a lot for a guy to get there for someone.  Because since we compartmentalize everything that when one section gets destroyed.  It is hard for that hole to replace.  So feelings get extra protected.  That is also why it is hard for us to move on.

I want to say something on destiny vs free will.  I am indifferent on the topic and can see both points but here is something to make you ponder about destiny.  In destiny that actually would include your "free will" choices.  Free will is just an illusion in destiny because guess what.  In destiny, it was already determined you would make that choice.  Yes you might think you had the choice but really you didn't.  It was all planned out for you long before you even realized.  Going to use this scene from one of the Matrix movies to explain it a bit better I think.  As they actually had a similiar discuss regarding free will or choice.

https://youtu.be/dij287EZT50

Basically he is saying that you just have to think that you have a choice but really the choice was already made before you got there.  Which in turn is destiny.

That's a great point. I couldn't agree more Thank you for sharing it