So what is it really all about?

[smoothie88]

I got my heart broken and got thrown into this hole of hurt and confusion, so as most people here do, I went to get reading with psychics. Had in total 9-10 readings since September and spent about $1000. I was looking for closure not opening, ofcourse every time a psychic mention he will open up and reach out and shit I would first laugh at them but also secretly hope they are right but I KNOW with all my heart they are not.

Anyways, the whole point of this post is not to rant but I want to ask people here, what are you doing? What are you hoping to achieve? Some people here have been waiting for a poi who has been out of touch for months if not a year, are you still not over them? Let go and live life. If someone who has been out of your life for so long why are you wasting money to get reading about them for? It’s obsessive and pointless. That’s exactly what I’m telling myself too, please trust me I’m not judging, I’m doing exactly the same, the painful part is I have to see this person daily as we work together exhibits why for me it’s easy to get emotional and want to get a reading every time I feel hurt/upset. I’m just curious to know why don’t you just move on, live life and stop wasting money, what are you hoping to achieve?

[star1]

It's mainly what the readers say that keeps me hanging on. I've been to over 50 readers, most on these threads who are meant to be "honest", and every single one said that my ex has feelings and is coming back. I've spoken to a couple of people for free on here too (which is very kind, very kind and I am not holding against them what they say as they're new to it all and offering their insight for free). I spoke recently to a very down to earth guy on Etsy who doesn't look psychic and is honest and as normal as you or I. Genuine. They all said he has feelings for me and would come back. I haven't had any say he won't be back... If they all said he didn't care and wasn't coming back, I think I would have moved on quicker, or even if they said he cares but they can't see him making the effort to reach out to me. It also is about closure. I never got closure from my ex and I am not joking when I say that I had a connection with this man I haven't felt before or since with anyone.. It's a mixture of all of those and I know that if I were to meet someone and I clicked, I'd move on from my ex but if I'm honest - I have been lazy about meeting people because most aren't genuine nowadays. So I guess it's been easier to sit around moping and calling readers about my ex somehow, than keep going through the dating process and getting hurt. But I am actually talking to a few guys at the moment and ready to move on, I've waited a long time and will not be a lady who waits around for years on someone who isn't willing to give me the time of day. "he loves you but this, but that" - if someone loves you, they would come to you. I am disappointed in my ex and alot of readers (apart from the couple of people who helped me on here because they did it for free which is very kind and being new to all this).

There's no excuse for me personally, if my ex loves me as bad as they proclaim he does then where is he? A few said he hasn't realised yet that he is missing and loves me, and he's dating other girls but is slowly beginning to realise because there's a void with them that he didn't have with me.. We haven't spoken for a very long time and I struggle to see how he's "slowly beginning to realise". I have to be honest, at this point in my life I am feeling quite angry at readers. I feel like they're insulting me by saying things like that. I hope I won't get any angry posts for this, you have to realise that in my eyes it looks a little insulting to be told things like that. Would rather be said "he doesn't care, he loves someone else and has forgotten all about you". Because it's most realistic. And yes - I am cutting down alot on readings, I used to call daily.

[star1]

It was never so straightforward as just hoping my ex would come back. Years ago I had some weird things happen in my life, that hardly anyone knows about that left me with a lot of unanswered questions. My search for answers was what led me to meet my ex. And it's hard to explain but because of what I had been through, I thought he was probably the only man I could ever be with. I mean despite his faults, he had certain qualities that are very rare, very hard to find. It was very, very hard to lose him. I was prepared to accept the loss if it wasn't meant to be, but of course everyone kept telling me he would be back. So the more readings I got, the harder it was to let go.

Meanwhile I kept hoping a psychic would be able to pick up on the other things that happened in my and explain some things. The ones I asked directly never even understood what I was talking about. I mean nothing, nada, not a clue. The only one who ever came close was Judi, and that was without my even asking about it which was pretty impressive. And she told me some pretty amazing stuff. But she only went so far and then backed off of it and wouldn't go there anymore. It was so disappointing. Instead she tried to get me to let go of the need for answers. That need never goes away and I guess it will be with me until the day I die. I mean what it all came down to was I just wanted some answers, like okay even if I have to lose my ex after everything else I went through...I can accept that, but what is the meaning of it all? Why did I have to go through this? What am I still here for? Unfortunately no one can answer those types of questions.

Parts of my situation were similar. There was more to my situation than meets the eye and I got the same crap from readers. There was an important part to my situation than no reader got. Not even Judi, Divine Love, Kisha, Yona, Karen or any who got recommended to me got. I felt very disappointed because that's a huge part of my situation for me and since the readings were so basic (apart from Kisha but even she didn't amaze me with detail via email) and they didn't pick that up. Judi is a nice lady and I like that she finishes a write up of your reading with her, but I found her way too generic for me. I got the "been working too hard" line that she has told a couple of others I spoke to and she didn't mention the important part. She also said "babe" and my ex never called me that, but names around it. Judi said my ex has been too busy to date which contradicts all readers except Divine Love who said the same.. This is what I mean, I don't trust recommendations anymore because the readers I do get recommended have all been so underwhelming for me.

And with my ex I kinda now how you feel.. When you meet someone who you bond with so well and you get each other, are so similar and alike and this strange connection you haven't felt before or since. It's hurtful.

[ladya]

There was an important part to my situation than no reader got.

Oh no, I'm sorry they didn't get it for you either.

That's what is most disappointing to me after years of readings...no one ever really got it! I tried over a hundred different readers. You'd think at least one of them would have gotten it. Even when I just straight up told them part of the situation (not the whole thing) they just didn't really have any idea what I was talking about.

It showed me that although psychic ability is real...they only understand how to interpret things that are common human experiences. Things they already know about. That's why so many readings sound generic and scripted.

And with my ex I kinda now how you feel.. When you meet someone who you bond with so well and you get each other, are so similar and alike and this strange connection you haven't felt before or since. It's hurtful.

Yes. It still hurts me and I don't know if I will ever get over that. We had a really unique sort of bond with each other. I would never be able to replace that with someone else. That doesn't mean I could never love someone else. But it would be different. Hopefully much better, but there would still be a litle something missing that was unique to my ex and who he was.

What I finally had to accept though, was he changed, he stopped being that person. He really lost himself and lost his way. And I had to get over thinking I could do anything to fix it. For a long time I blamed myself and thought I should have done things differently. But he carved out his path long before he met me, and he had well developed habits of being a jerk. Character is destiny.

this was something i had to let go of also. throughout my life i would blame myself for everything even if i logically knew it wasn't my fault, I would always go through the different what if scenarios and if i could've changed anything. The most profound thing i ever heard was sometimes people do things and it has nothing to do with you. Most of the time it really has nothing to do with us. It's really sad when the person you fell in love with is not who they become. but i think this is where people drift apart. you always hope maybe that version of them will come back but in reality it won't. I feel that the reason why some relationships are hard to let go of is that there is a soul bond. I don't believe all relationships are like that though and i don't believe all people experience them either. I've had brief relationships with people that i felt nothing with and it was extremely easy to move on and there's people i still think about to this day even if they're not in my life. Although i think all this spiritual stuff is a gift and its cool, we have to deal with a lot of lessons that people who are really 3d don't go through. Although i'm grateful for the spiritual side finding me and i can't imagine ever being not spiritual at this point i sometimes wonder how my life would be before all of this awakening stuff. for me, I use psychics more as guidance. when i was younger i just wanted to see who was right and predictions but as i've gotten older i use them more as guidance and what i can do or what i need to know in a situation. i just want to be the best version of me and always looking to how i can improve myself. sure i can go to a shrink but theyre only going to give me one side of the story. what about the spiritual perspective. and i already know everything about myself there is to know so i don't need to pay someone to tell me something i already know. i think its a privacy thing too. I'm extremely private and I wouldn't tell a shrink I dont know or trust my life story. Once theyve seen me and can put a face to the story idk not something I can do. I don't really regret reading with them because they were there when i had noone to talk to or felt lonely or confused and they got me through it.

[star1]

There was an important part to my situation than no reader got.

Oh no, I'm sorry they didn't get it for you either.

That's what is most disappointing to me after years of readings...no one ever really got it! I tried over a hundred different readers. You'd think at least one of them would have gotten it. Even when I just straight up told them part of the situation (not the whole thing) they just didn't really have any idea what I was talking about.

It showed me that although psychic ability is real...they only understand how to interpret things that are common human experiences. Things they already know about. That's why so many readings sound generic and scripted.

And with my ex I kinda now how you feel.. When you meet someone who you bond with so well and you get each other, are so similar and alike and this strange connection you haven't felt before or since. It's hurtful.

Yes. It still hurts me and I don't know if I will ever get over that. We had a really unique sort of bond with each other. I would never be able to replace that with someone else. That doesn't mean I could never love someone else. But it would be different. Hopefully much better, but there would still be a litle something missing that was unique to my ex and who he was.

What I finally had to accept though, was he changed, he stopped being that person. He really lost himself and lost his way. And I had to get over thinking I could do anything to fix it. For a long time I blamed myself and thought I should have done things differently. But he carved out his path long before he met me, and he had well developed habits of being a jerk. Character is destiny.

Thank you. It wasn't even something that major that would be hard to guess, like with your situation. That's what makes it more disappointing. And I know what you mean about generic readings, I've spoken to people before thinking I had a good reading and it turned out to be the same as my reading, I honestly couldn't even recommend one reader who got it right for me. At least a couple of people have 1 or 2.

And with me, I know it sounds evil but it's easier for me when a person won't and can't change. I'd rather have that than meeting the right person at a wrong time. Because I am quite young, all of the readers blamed his behaviour on him being immature - and yes I'd agree alot of it is immaturity, but I also think there's some stuff that goes way deeper than that. Battles and issues and that rarely changes in a person. A person who is insecure with a really low self esteem, and has abandonment issues isn't just immature. There's more to it.. Again that hardly any picked up. I am fascinated about your situation.. It certainly sounds very unique.

And I agree with Ladya.. Soul people tend to have the worst experiences and toughest ones. With this man I felt something I haven't yet felt with anybody else. When I met him for the first time it was like we "knew" each other. When we very first met and started texting each other, we clicked right away. That's what makes this tough, and probably for Still Tired.

[Miss Philosopher]

I don't think it's the same for everyone. Sometimes we really don't know WHY or what we are hoping to achieve during the time we are doing it. Some of us call to get us through a rough emotional time because if we talk to our friends or family about it, we get the old "told you so" or don't get any kind of support or a listening ear at all. Some of us call because we don't feel closure and don't know how to give that to ourselves at the time. Sometimes we feel a "different" kind of connection with a certain person that's rather inexplicable and we don't want to lose it. Each relationship we have presents a different kind of connection. Some are extremely strong to where we feel it on a soul level which makes it VERY HARD if not sometimes impossible to fully let go of and that is one of the biggest reasons why you will see some holding on for years and decades. I believe that when a person is READY to move on, they will, and no one can tell you when that time will come and it isn't right to tell a person when that time should be. We each move at our own pace. .

[ladya]

I don't think it's the same for everyone. Sometimes we really don't know WHY or what we are hoping to achieve during the time we are doing it. Some of us call to get us through a rough emotional time because if we talk to our friends or family about it, we get the old "told you so" or don't get any kind of support or a listening ear at all. Some of us call because we don't feel closure and don't know how to give that to ourselves at the time. Sometimes we feel a "different" kind of connection with a certain person that's rather inexplicable and we don't want to lose it. Each relationship we have presents a different kind of connection. Some are extremely strong to where we feel it on a soul level which makes it VERY HARD if not sometimes impossible to fully let go of and that is one of the biggest reasons why you will see some holding on for years and decades. I believe that when a person is READY to move on, they will, and no one can tell you when that time will come and it isn't right to tell a person when that time should be. We each move at our own pace.

yessss!!! 100 percent

[Miss Philosopher]

Here's my biggest issue. I have trouble deciphering whether or not I'm suppose to be patient and go through the storm with said person to get to the other side of sunshine eventually because that person is meant to be a part of my life, or if I'm suppose to cut said person off because it's just toxic for me and that person isn't meant to be in my life. I'm not sure that any psychic can ever really answer that either. It's hard.

[Miss Philosopher]

I appreciate your feedback @stilltired. It's very insightful.

I'm in that confusing place right now. My go to's don't tell me to wait and be patient. They both say he isn't going to change his life anytime soon, which, I can already see that. I'm still stuck in that same place of not really knowing if I should hang on or not. One thing I do know is, that I'm really tired of the pattern of it. I have to break that cycle which is what I'm currently trying to do. However, I think part of breaking that cycle is not only for me to say "No you can't come back to my state of residence and live with me, go to your mom's in another state instead", but also for me not to get back together and just stay friends and sort of explore MY options now and maybe in the future we'll come together in the other way and maybe not. Unfortunately I was forced to this point. In the beginning I used to feel SO SURE that he was the one and we were meant to be, but, now I'm feeling way differently and I'm very unsure. I guess just time will tell but I'm not going to rely on psychics to tell me if he's meant to be or not. Clearly he was meant to be in my life for the time he has, I'm just not sure if that lasts or if it ends at some point permanently. Unless major changes are made, which it's highly probable they won't be made anytime soon, then no, he's not for me.

[Miss Philosopher]

@stilltired: I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can still feel your disappointment even though you're glad to be free of it. I'm going through the back and forth with my feelings stage. I feel like it already is clear to me deep down but I'm in denial to a degree still. I'm moving to the stage of acceptance though. The longer it is, the more I get there. I feel it will come to the same result for me as it did for you.

[Miss Philosopher]

We seem to be alike a lot. Lol. I'm the same way. It sucks because the flaky ones are always attracted to us (there goes the like attracts like theory in LOA lol). We provide them comfort, security, and stability which they can't provide for themselves yet they enjoy having it. I feel the same way, I wish I wouldn't have ever gotten involved with said person. At this point in time, it really does feel like an absolute waste of 5 years that I can never get back. I hope you didn't spend that much time on yours. Again, I'm really sorry you had to go through so much pain. I hope someone wonderful comes into your life and makes up for it.

[jhuskindle]

I will be real with you, I believe this is part of the grief process, many people go through the hoping phase and that lasts longer for some than others. I got into getting my own readings (I'm a reader) because I had a great love, like, the kind of love where the lights grow brighter when you two look at eachother. I was in denial about the fact he was actually a piece of crap, despite him being spiritual, psychic, and we would do all the things I used to do on my own, together.

Now, no matter what, this was going to take me a year or two to process. This is grief, this is traumatic loss of deep connection. This is being dicknotized. I filled the time with readings, many said he would come back, and I knew he would too, it was only a matter of time. The only thing people didn't get right is the fact that the "new vision" into the relationship would only last a month or two and then we would be back to square one. Not one time before or after the readings could I or would I have moved on. You don't suddenly move on from love, the type of love that drives someone to seek psychic readings. I was also at a stagnant place in life and career, I have a strong business that I don't like, and I didn't really know where to go.

All of this stuff was propelled forward by these readings.

And I would still have wasted 1 year on this guy NO MATTER WHAT. Not because I loved or had false hope, but because THATS THE GRIEF LOSS PROCESS. When someone dies you dont just magically walk away and feel fine. This is the death of hope and love, its the death of a relationship, and that shit lasts. Some of you will go through 5 years, some of us will escape grief in 1 year, but it will always come and go and youll always think about that person. NO MATTER WHAT FORM the person departs us, we will always think about it. That's grief, guys. We seek mediums and religion when we are about to die or go through great family loss, and psychics when our great loves are not fullfilled. Whether to hear hope or to hear to move on, none of it matters, you'd never move on until you are absolutely ready to anyways.

A saying I heard last night:
"My mom once said to me,
I can tell you over and over to leave the situation, but you wont
until you are ready. One day you
will wake up and realize that this
isnt what you want to feel like
anymore and you'll be done: and I think its important that everyone hears this"

[sawthelight]

I will be real with you, I believe this is part of the grief process, many people go through the hoping phase and that lasts longer for some than others. I got into getting my own readings (I'm a reader) because I had a great love, like, the kind of love where the lights grow brighter when you two look at eachother. I was in denial about the fact he was actually a piece of crap, despite him being spiritual, psychic, and we would do all the things I used to do on my own, together.

Now, no matter what, this was going to take me a year or two to process. This is grief, this is traumatic loss of deep connection. This is being dicknotized. I filled the time with readings, many said he would come back, and I knew he would too, it was only a matter of time. The only thing people didn't get right is the fact that the "new vision" into the relationship would only last a month or two and then we would be back to square one. Not one time before or after the readings could I or would I have moved on. You don't suddenly move on from love, the type of love that drives someone to seek psychic readings. I was also at a stagnant place in life and career, I have a strong business that I don't like, and I didn't really know where to go.

All of this stuff was propelled forward by these readings.

And I would still have wasted 1 year on this guy NO MATTER WHAT. Not because I loved or had false hope, but because THATS THE GRIEF LOSS PROCESS. When someone dies you dont just magically walk away and feel fine. This is the death of hope and love, its the death of a relationship, and that shit lasts. Some of you will go through 5 years, some of us will escape grief in 1 year, but it will always come and go and youll always think about that person. NO MATTER WHAT FORM the person departs us, we will always think about it. That's grief, guys. We seek mediums and religion when we are about to die or go through great family loss, and psychics when our great loves are not fullfilled. Whether to hear hope or to hear to move on, none of it matters, you'd never move on until you are absolutely ready to anyways.

A saying I heard last night:
"My mom once said to me,
I can tell you over and over to leave the situation, but you wont
until you are ready. One day you
will wake up and realize that this
isnt what you want to feel like
anymore and you'll be done: and I think its important that everyone hears this"

Great post and I agree 100%!

[journalmuse]

I will be real with you, I believe this is part of the grief process, many people go through the hoping phase and that lasts longer for some than others. I got into getting my own readings (I'm a reader) because I had a great love, like, the kind of love where the lights grow brighter when you two look at eachother. I was in denial about the fact he was actually a piece of crap, despite him being spiritual, psychic, and we would do all the things I used to do on my own, together.

Now, no matter what, this was going to take me a year or two to process. This is grief, this is traumatic loss of deep connection. This is being dicknotized. I filled the time with readings, many said he would come back, and I knew he would too, it was only a matter of time. The only thing people didn't get right is the fact that the "new vision" into the relationship would only last a month or two and then we would be back to square one. Not one time before or after the readings could I or would I have moved on. You don't suddenly move on from love, the type of love that drives someone to seek psychic readings. I was also at a stagnant place in life and career, I have a strong business that I don't like, and I didn't really know where to go.

All of this stuff was propelled forward by these readings.

And I would still have wasted 1 year on this guy NO MATTER WHAT. Not because I loved or had false hope, but because THATS THE GRIEF LOSS PROCESS. When someone dies you dont just magically walk away and feel fine. This is the death of hope and love, its the death of a relationship, and that shit lasts. Some of you will go through 5 years, some of us will escape grief in 1 year, but it will always come and go and youll always think about that person. NO MATTER WHAT FORM the person departs us, we will always think about it. That's grief, guys. We seek mediums and religion when we are about to die or go through great family loss, and psychics when our great loves are not fullfilled. Whether to hear hope or to hear to move on, none of it matters, you'd never move on until you are absolutely ready to anyways.

A saying I heard last night:
"My mom once said to me,
I can tell you over and over to leave the situation, but you wont
until you are ready. One day you
will wake up and realize that this
isnt what you want to feel like
anymore and you'll be done: and I think its important that everyone hears this"

I think there's a lot real and true in here and I very much appreciate you posting it. Where I think I take a different view is, yes, you're right that people aren't going to move on until they're truly ready. It doesn't matter how much your friends and family tell you it's over and you need to just take a fresh start -- until you are convinced in your own heart that all hope is lost, you won't progress.

But.

I do think psychics can prolong this process by elongating the period where you still have hope. If you have someone you believe is plugged into the absolute divine/energetic forces of this universe telling you, this is still going to happen, there's still hope for this -- then you may not arrive at the rock bottom point where one day you wake up and you're ready to move on, for much longer than if this divine messenger hadn't entered the picture.

[star1]

I agree. When someone dies, the grieving process is normal and it's seen as normal. When a long, strong bond with a partner who you've been very intimate with and shared lots of your life with ends, you're expected to get over it and move on. That can be difficult.