Lacking closure

[sunandmoon]

The reason I started calling psychics was because my ex backed away, after being attached to my hip for 3.5 years. There was no real warning. Oh sure there were little things I can see in hindsight, but considering some of the issues we had during the r/s and overcame, they were nothing.

Not ONE psychic could ever tell me why he left. As much as we say they are good at past and current, not ONE could say "wow, he left because he felt/you did/etc". Sure, they made guesses. Especially if I told them some of the story. But *I* can make guesses, my T can make guesses, his mom can, anyone with half a brain can take a guess. Fear of commitment, I hurt him, he wanted more than he felt I was giving - I've heard and thought it all. No one really knows what went on in my ex's head but him and he isn't talking, not to me anyway. As a matter of fact I have not heard from him in almost 3 months now.

That and the eternal "is he coming back and when" were the only things I ever wanted to know. No one could answer the first and I've had so much bs shoveled at me in the past 18 mos about the second that I don't believe any of it anymore.

This part of my life has been more bizarre than my childhood of catholic school. People set him up with a married woman - while we were living together (and she is still married) and now she stalks me. I've become closer to people in his family than I ever was (and can see some of the similarities in all of them). I can predict things happening in his mom's r/s because I've lived them with her son. You can't make this up.

I've been patient, I've made really positive changes to myself and my life, I know I did nothing to this man to cause him to treat me the way he has in the past 9 months (the first 9 mos post-breakup weren't too bad). How someone goes from "I love you, I miss you, I want to make it better" 9 months after breakup to nothing is beyond me.

I've attracted a wonderful man into my life now and we've had almost 2 glorious months together. I am still so cautious but I really was tired of being sad and alone and wondering when things would turn around with my ex. I got tired of seeing signs where there were none and reading into each little nuance of him talking to me, or liking something on FB.

Ironically enough early this summer he posted on his unused Twitter account that "it's never too late". Someday he may find out how untrue that really is. I have no doubt he will contact me some day. But until then I am enjoying my life.

Sorry for the negativity but this still bugs me a lot and I'm overworked at the moment so there you have it lol. I'm really frustrated that I spent 18 months and thousands of dollars hoping for a reconciliation, and the only things that have come true have been some points of contact. I couldn't even get closure on what the hell I did to this guy to make him turn his back on me, and I would have settled for that.

[positivethoughts2]

sunandmoon - I hate to ask this, but do you mind sharing with us the list of psychics who you felt gave you false hope? If you already posted this my apologies. Congrats on the new guy - what wonderful news 

[sunandmoon]

I have not given a complete list and will be happy to do so but it will mostly have to wait till next week.

The bottom line though is that 95% of them gave me false hope. There are a handful that gave me timelines of next spring (a few said this last year too, Gina Rose was one of them). But every single other one just kept pushing timelines out and even when I started to mention the new guy they would steer me away from him.

Here are a few from a year ago:
Abrielle: first reading, said we'd be in this process till April 2011. He would spend from October - Feb getting close and pulling back (which he sort of did). March/April love back on track - he didn't talk to me at all during that time frame.  I called her again the end of last october and she said we'd be back on track Feb/Mar 2011

Michelle: 11/1/10 - said there was no one else involved with him (there was at the time). There would be a huge change in him the 2nd week of November - there wasn't. Dec/Jan we'd build on our foundation and we'd have a great 2011. Not even close.

Talked to her again 11/24/10 said we'd be together in January, all obstacles would be gone. Now, he did invite me to an event NYD, we had a great time, and then he stopped talking to me again. He was also still in a r/s that I knew nothing about.

Winter: (not sure if this was HP or CP) Nov 29, 2010 - told me that it may be 4-6 months before he figured things out. It's been 11 now.

Verbena: 12/2/10 (I really like her) She gave me some good contact timelines but her big prediction was that he'd make an offer of a permanent r/s between Feb 2 - Feb 20 - didn't talk to me at all during that time, in another r/s. She also said he will not come close to being settled till the end of this month and he may be rocky till 2013 but we'd be together early in 2011 so as long as I could manage that.......

Talked to her again Dec 9 and she felt we'd make tremendous progress in 1-1.5 mos. Besides NYD there was nothing.

Gina Rose: 12/24/10 - said this wouldn't get better for 12-18 mos so that may still come true... but will I care at that point? By mid-summer 2011 I'd see a huge improvement in him - (well he did wave to me when I saw him out in July).  She promised me that if I ignored him and shut him out, he would reach out to me... I have not contacted him since Aug 22 nor has he contacted me......

Alison: 12/3/10 - she got contact timelines right for last December but said we'd be back in a r/s June 2011.
Talked to her again 1/6/11 - again she got a contact right but said we'd be in a r/s in March and more solid in June. He talked to me a few times in June, nothing in March ("forgot" my bday)

Giselle: 12/31/10 - my higher self said to continue working on myself, he had more work to do... this would go on another 3 months

This is just the tip of the iceberg of who I called...... I called a lot on Keen and Hollywood as well.

If I look at my spring calls the notes will all say resumed r/s in the summer, and the summer calls say Sept/Oct. There is a definite pattern that I can see now that I've been calling for over a year. Fact is I haven't heard from him since August (and *I* initiated that) and he's thinking of moving now.

Anyway, they did serve a (very expensive) purpose in my life but the things I wanted to know, I never got to (why and when would he be back).

I went into this new r/s knowing I wouldn't just ditch this guy if the ex comes back. That is not me. If something happens to us, it will be because we are not working out, not because my ex decided to pull his head out of his ass after all this time. It would be one thing if I was casually dating but this is more serious on both our sides. I really enjoy being with him, it feels so good to share my day with someone again and wow, he enjoys and wants to spend time with me.

I know I needed to go through some of this pain to grow as a person. Just wish I hadn't spent so much money in the process. I've never been addicted to anything in my life besides sweets lol but this was truly an addiction!

Back to work..... I'll try next week to get my old spreadsheet in here for you guys. 

If you have questions about specific psychics let me know, I may have read with them.  :-/

[Starrlite]

Sunandmoon

Good for you for moving on.  I'm in the process of attempting the same.  Not in a relationship yet but dating.  When I started calling psychics I used keen a lot too.  Thought I found some good ones and nothing all just false hope. Spent so much money.  I would never really recommend keen. 

[positivethoughts2]

thanks sunandmoon!! I really appreciate your story. If you read with Nina, would love to hear about it.

[lightme]

at least Nina doesn't ask one single question before
she reads. I personally think any psychic who ask
any question is questionable.

I still have some respect for Nina, but accurate or
not I don't want to commend anymore. she insisted big
prediction for greengrix in sep but nothing happened.

this forum is awesome, it woke me up. I so wanted to believe
them, they are so nice to talk to, some of them. I wish
they are my personal friends.

[4everhopeful]

I truly wonder if we ever find closure when someone walks away without reason, especially when we love them so much. I dont think I ever will. But I am so pissed at CP and myself. Myself for ever believing any of their bs and at CP for feeding me the bs. I read with Gina Rose a couple of times also. She is like a parrot to everyone Ive talked to with the no contact thing. Thats what she always says, no matter who you are. Her timeline for me was 3 to 4 yrs out the first time I talked to her. The three year mark will be up next spring.
Im really trying to break my psychic addiction. I keep telling myself that they are frauds and Im wasting my money, it helps some. I too wish I could find closure but I think the only way that I will is to let the negative feelings about him flow and force myself to hate him for what he did to me. I know we arent supposed to hate, but it sure makes it easier to get over someone if you can change the way you feel about them. And thats what Im working on now.
I sometimes wish I could blow CP out of the water and put them out of business. But no chance of that. But I sure wish there was a way to warn others about them and all the other sites. I just cant believe in them anymore.

[positivethoughts2]

4ever - When I look back at some old readings I get mad too. The $$, the hope, etc. Sharing on this board helps - both with the positive and the not so good.

The Healer mentioned this but having energy work really does seems to help. I would recommend finding someone local and doing it in person. It's helped me restore more balance. Instead of spending $$ on a reading, I try and go have a Reiki session or something. You'll feel better about yourself and even the situation.

big hugs to all of us
pt

[Elaan]

4ever,

I understand what you intended to say, but don't hate him.  Be angry, yes, definitely be angry.  Let that anger flow, honey.  Its cathartic.  Justifiable anger can help us move on and even heal us in more ways than one.  It can even teach us about ourselves and make us realize we are so much better than the idiot that made us angry...lol.  But if you think about it, hate will only leave you obsessed again from the other side of things and give you bad karma.  boo hiss...

[lightme]

i called cherry before. she couldn't pick up anything
on her own. she asked leading questions. some callers
are ok with psychics asking questions, but I am not.

[Synergy]

Hi everyone,

I can relate to all the frustration, sadness, and anger expressed in this thread.  Speaking of closure, I doubt everyone will be able to get that from the person who walked away without explanation.  I am so tired of wasting money and energy on someone who just ended things abruptly without showing the decency to tell me why.  Do I still think he's my soulmate?  Of course.  Am I willing to put my life on hold for him?  Not anymore. 

He wouldn't provide closure or much of anything since May, so you know what I did?  I started listening to my heart and soul instead of the advice of strangers charging per minute.  I poured my emotions into a letter, and I gave it to him yesterday.  I don't expect anything from that, BUT (even though I did call a psychic after I gave him this letter     )  I feel so much better!  I feel free today!  I'd love for him to come to the realization that I love him and would give anything to make him happy, but that's probably not going to happen, with or without my letter. 

I can't keep questioning my own actions and wondering what affect they'll have on him.  If he can be selfish, than I can too.  I was selfish by taking up his precious study time with my letter, but it's important to me, and if he cared about me it'd be important to him too. 

I hope to get to a point where I won't have to call psychics anymore.  It's financially and emotionally draining.  Plus I keep hearing the same thing without any real progress.  We're torturing ourselves.   

[sunandmoon]

I did my letter to him in May 2010. His mom knew about it, loved it, and knew when I came over to hand it to him. My plan had been to let him read it, ask him if he could tell me to my face that we were done, kiss him on the forehead, tell him I loved him and walk away and let him contact me. Well she showed up as I was there (KNOWING what I was doing) and started to talk to him. It rattled me so much I forgot about the question and kiss and I just ended up walking away after he read it. I had sent him heartfelt emails through June 2010 and he read them but would never respond or talk to me about them. Once he came over for help with something and I tried to talk to him again (he said he'd reread my letter and get back to me - never happened) and he almost bolted out the door.

Fact is he just doesn't want any sort of r/s in his life now and hasn't for awhile, for whatever reason. I tell myself I triggered his abandonment fears (his prior g/f left him) because I wasn't ready for him to move in due to my own divorce issues but again that is taking too much blame on myself. His family never helped matters, when he'd complain I wasn't allowing him to move in (mere months after my divorce), don't you think the NORMAL thing for people to do would be to say to give me some time to heal? Especially when some of these people have been divorced, flip flopped between 2 partners, had affairs etc? But nope, they all sided with him and I became this evil person only out to please myself.

I have gotten over the psychic addiction but it took getting into this new r/s to do so. I have finally realized that they don't know all though I do believe some have very true gifts. I have learned so much about myself and people in general (I've always been intuitive and able to read people) that I feel if I stay in tune with myself I can do just as good a job with this new r/s without them. Honestly I've been able to read my own situation with my ex about as good as the psychics have because I know him so well. And I knew this as I made every single call but I kept hoping that there would be that ONE psychic that would tune in so fantastically that all my questions would be answered. Now I have a huge cc bill to pay off and no one to blame but myself.

I only talked to Gina Rose once and she was one of the few that predicted a 2012 resolution. I was extremely disappointed in Winter. I had a reading with her and she did pick up on the other person though I didn't want to believe it. Then when I found out, I called Winter again, so excited that she had pegged something no one else did, and she repeated almost word for word what she had said to me months earlier and this time I KNEW there was no one else. That was before I knew we could get refunds.

I don't even know if I have any money left in my CP account. Sometimes I am tempted to read with Verbena when she comes back but then I think if I do have money it's probably not much and I should just close out the account.

It saddens me that I allowed someone to make me feel like this. It's one thing to stop eating and sleeping and sink into a depression but this was just crazy. No one in my life knows of this save a few online friends, I am so embarrassed about it!

[4everhopeful]

Sunandmoon, Please dont be embarrassed with us. We have all done the same thing as you. Thank goodness I only spent money that I had at the moment so I dont still owe for those psychic readings. But I wont be guilty of calling anymore. I do believe some people have true gifts and I have a friend that has such a gift, but it is random with him and he cant just focus on someone who calls him and get messages. His is more random and just comes to him suddenly and unexpected, but his visions and feelings always come true. So I do believe in psychic abilities. I just dont believe anymore in these people sitting by their phone and taking calls from complete strangers all day long and seeing their future. My story has proved them wrong. Honestly, I think my intuition is just as strong as any of these psychics. And Im following my intuition these days. When I talk to a new man I pay attention to what that small still voice within me is saying. And I think I will do so much better on my own without the outside influence of the psychics.
Am I embarrassed about all those calls I made and how much money I spent? Of course I am. But not in front of my new friends here. Cause I know you all understand and I want you to understand too Sunandmoon. We all understand where you were when you made all those calls. You were hurting just as we all were. This forum has done so much for me. I know some have seen their predictions come true, but most have not. So that tells me it is better for us to go on and live our lives and make our own decisions.
If anything does ever come from the predictions I received, I will post the updates here first thing. But dont hold your breath, lol. Im just happy to know there is a place I can come and vent my frustrations when Im feeling down and also celebrate someone elses victory when their predictions do come to pass.
We gonna be ok guys and girls. Those that left us behind and dont come back will and have suffered a great loss. We all still have each other. And thats a great thing. 

[sunandmoon]

I was reading my old thread from two months ago. I pulled up my Jean notes, it was right after I saw there was a definite possibility of dating the new guy. (end of August).

She pretty accurately described both guys. She told me to continue with the new guy, but to stay friends and not mention the past (we are more than friends and I did tell him of my past because people we work with know my exs family!).

She said it may take a couple of weeks for my ex to get his head of out his ass and contact me and she felt it would be because he got wind of the new guy. It's been almost 4 months now and nothing.

So much for THAT prediction.