Newbie with a story to share

[Synergy]

Hello everyone!

I am so glad I found this forum.  I have been reading your posts and stories for a few weeks before I decided to join.  While some of you have been dealing with your SM's for years, my story is a bit different and odd because I only went out with my SM for a few months.

In June of last year, I transferred to another division of the company I work for.  At that time, I was immediately drawn to a man who's office was in the same hall as mine.  I soon found out that he had a girlfriend, so I came to realize we would only be friends.  He seemed to be inexplicably drawn to me just as I was drawn to him because he started engaging in conversations with me and asking me to lunch.  In October he suddenly broke up with his gf.  Now, at this point I still didn't think we would be moving past a friendship because he is 16 years older than me, and I have two young children.  He is 45 and has been married once, but he has never had kids and does not want to be a father. 

Well, it was completely out of the blue, but in November he asked me out on a date!!  I was over the moon.  I couldn't believe he wanted to take me out!  We had a great time, but that was it.  He didn't ask me out again until the middle of December.  That night we had our first kiss, and everything was perfect.  We went on two dates after that, and it was just magical.  There was nothing wrong.  We connected with one another, he introduced me to two sets of friends, his sister, her husband, and his autistic nephew.  I felt as if we were moving in the right direction because he was including me in these areas of his life. 

These dates were sporatic, though, because my ex was inconsistent in taking our daughters, and this man I speak of is in law school.  We were both busy, but somehow we made it work.  One day he freaked out.  He told me things were getting too "heavy".  He said law school had to be his #1 priority and that he could not get into a serious relationship.  I lied and told him that we could just casually date without any pressure.  Of course I wanted a relationship, but I didn't want to lose him completely.

I started calling psychics in January.  It is now the end of September, and I have spent more money than I care to think about.  We have not been intimate since May, and we actually have not seen each other outside of work since that day.  We see each other daily because of work.  We go to lunch together, and we have even discussed "starting over", but he always ruins things by saying he can't give me what I want. 

Almost every single psychic I've spoken with has referred to this man as a soulmate.  I truly believe he is my SM, as I cannot get him out of my mind.  This isn't just because I'm lonely.  Since I stopped seeing him, other men have shown nterest and have asked me out.  The thing is... I don't want to go out with those men!  I'm just not interested in anyone else. 

Timeframes come and go, but so many psychics see the same outcome.  So many have said we will be married, he will love my children, everything will work out.  I'm not sure how these things will happen if this man is so commitment-phobic.  My faith remains, especially when psychics do pick up on some of his issues that I can confirm.  I have had some readers who are spot on when it comes to his past (with his parents, ex wife, work, law school).  It's so disappointing when predictions don't come to pass.  Several empaths have confirmed my intuition when it comes to his feelings.  I know that he cares about me, but he is just so scared. 

I am no longer concerned with timeframes.  I'd just like to see some change when it comes to this situation.  I've primarily called readers on Keen, but I recently started calling California Psychics (CP).  I also have an account with Psychic Source and LivePerson, but I didn't like either of these sites.  There are so many frauds out there, but all of my most trusted psychics who have been accurate with small predictions and with past and present readings say that we will be together. 

This entire situation has been more difficult than leaving my cheating ex!  I can't explain it, and all my friends think I'm crazy.  They don't understand why I am stuck on this man.  I can't say I understand it either, but I know we have a soul connection.  I just don't understand why he can't take a chance on us. 

Oh well, now I'm just happy I can come here and discuss this with all of you!  Thank you for allowing me to join the forum.  I look forward to chatting with all of you!

[Starrlite]

Synergy,

I feel your pain.  I have had psychics tell me once and again that this guy and i are soul mates that he'll change and we'll be together.  I have spoken to psychics on keen and psychic source and everyone has said the same thing.  Now I no longer want this man.  I still love him but I'm so disillusioned.  I feel like all the psychics are frauds now but I still continue to call them.  I called Abby on psychic source today and told her the new stuff happening right now in my relationship, and for the first time in 6 months she said this other guy that I used to work with is my soul mate.  I think they are making predictions based on information that I am giving them.  You know what at some point you need to give one of these other men a chance because if not you will be waiting for something that might not happen.  If SM decides to come back you can make a choice then whether you want to be with him or stay where you are.  Its only fair for you to do what is right for you and I think that getting back out there is always a good thing whether it works out or not.  My SM was my world but i find myself very excited about a date I'm about to go on with my former co worker.  Some stuff has come true for me, communication wise but the big prediction hasn't I feel like i have become my SM's shoulder and his friend and that everyday things get further and further from where i want them to be.

[lightme]

so happy to see so many newbies today! i used to join a couple of relationship forums but the people there are not as nice as this forum. sometimes we may sound a bit down and discouraged here but the overall friendliness of this forum is amazing! i am only sticking to this forum now and love it!

[Libra]

You are right Lightme this forum is tons of support. Back in January it was super intense here, but overall thanks to the Healer for setting this up.

On the other hand dear Lightme I must disagree and back it up with psychology and spiritual source, they will tell you that, yes we can be enough by ourselves, we are conditioned to be with someone, since that is what we see in our society. But spiritually we are WHOLE, you can find the source of infinite Love in yourself, as we are made to the image of God, Divine, Spirit whatever you want to call it. But the only Love there really is, is within ourselves. The most important relationship in our lives is the relationship with ourselves. From that stem all the other relationships in our lives.
Trust me this was so abstract to me years ago that I didn't attempt to think much of it, but I gave it a chance and I awaken that is the only way to call it. Just giving this thought a chance and asking for a healing is a perfect way to address it and in this way spend/invest the money in yourself. CP is only feeding the fear, notice the feelings when you are about to call most likely the main feeling is fear. It doesn't have to be that way. I'm not bashing psychics I think it is OK to call once in a while to get guidance, but not to get in the psychic craziness. Blessings!

[lightme]

Hi Libra, i know what you mean, i wish i can reach this stage, but i really can't at the moment, is too "high level". maybe at the age of 60 i may be able to. i don't think i was conditioned to think this way. since a teenager i felt life was just going thru motion unless i am in love. i do well in all areas, i have my hobbies and i love my work and i look nice, i mean i am not a bum who does nothing. i do all that i could in life but i just feel empty without love. in another forum people call this love addict, and they actually bash me up calling me unhealthy. i was so hurt.

i am not trying to be right here, i had been thinking about what you wrote a long time. talking about God, even God needs love, He commands us to love him as the first commandment, and He is sad too if we don't love him. so how could a person be totally happy just by himself? i am not saying a person will be sad when he is alone, i am sure there will be some joy and at peace etc. i can function alone too, but i want to to be at that level of joy which is only possible when i am with my SM. 

[optx88]

Hi

Libra: you said "The most important relationship in our lives is the relationship with ourselves. From that stem all the other relationships in our lives."  I agree with this statement.  We are the most important being...we need to put ourselves first and take care of ourselves first and foremost...so we can stand strong and be able to take care of others they way we want and need to.

But I do disagree with "But the only Love there really is, is within ourselves."   I don't think the only love that is real is within ourselves...I think there are a lot of real love around all of us...but if we cannot love ourselves...it makes it hard for us to recognize the all the other different kinds of love that we are surrounded by.

I just don't think we are enough for ourselves.  We are not meant to survive on our inner love alone and we are not meant to be alone...we are meant to be touched.  There are different forms of touch and we need that along with other things in order to survive...without touch we are just different beings.  Touch is a huge huge part of what I do for a living and it is such an important part of healing.  We need to be touched...we need our hand held...we need to be hugged...we need a hand on our shoulder...I don't have that in my life and I can tell you that I am in desperate need of it...it is a natural need that we desire...and it doesn't have to be in a sexual kind of way.  We are not enough for ourselves...look at the movie Castaway...the creation of Wilson is the perfect example...without Wilson...he may not have survived.

Lightme:  I understand what you mea about "feeling empty without love"  It just feels like something is always missing...I felt that way for the longest longest time...the only time I didn't feel empty was when I was with my current ex.  I felt like the magic garden was blossoming inside of me lol  But I felt like all the pieces were all coming together and it felt so wonderful...I just felt like there was this light shining so brightly from inside my soul and it just felt amazing...I never had that feeling before....I hate not feeling that...not everyone can make you feel this way.

No worries... it is not about being right or wrong...it is about stating opinions.  This forum has made  me chuckle and it has made me cry.  It is nice to be able to learn new things and there is someone out there who just saw something in a different light...and that is what is so nice about stating our thoughts and opinions...it is not about being right or wrong

[4everhopeful]

I think I can see both sides of the coin here. I agree that we can love ourselves and be very happy if we are not in a relationship. And yes, we are WHOLE even by ourselves. I dont believe in another person completing us. We are complete within ourselves. But we can love our children, our friends, our co workers and many other people that enter our lives. But the love we feel for a partner or soulmate or whatever you want to call it, is a different feeling altogether. I know that when I was with my ex, I was happier than I had ever been in my life. I had a feeling of contentment that I had never felt. I was excited to see him or just talk to him. There was a warm feeling that washed over me when he walked into the room or called me on the phone. It always made me smile. I truly miss that feeling. But lately I have finally realized that I can be happy again without him in my life. I wont be waiting for the reconnection, but I do feel in my heart that one of these days it will happen. I guess I will make a decision then if it does come to that point. But I will no longer have expectations.
Im talking to others now and opening myself up differently than I had been while waiting for the contact that the psychics told me would come. I am happy with my life but I too feel the loneliness and want someone in my life to spend time with and to touch, hold hands, gaze into his eyes, all that romantic stuff, lol. And its coming, in its own time. But Im truly feeling happy again. And I am soooooo glad.

[lightme]

i cannot be whole by myself, neither can my SM. is not just about gazing into each others eyes and holding hands. is about survival. life is literally meaningless without him, i feel so empty i have no more emotions to give to other people, not even my parents or my friends. flowers and mountains and rivers or the most beautiful song or the most exciting movie mean nothing to me. i am still holding up everyday because we still have hope. this is how deeply i love him. people can call this unhealthy, but to me this is true love. if i were in the titanic situation there is one more space in the life boat for me, i will choose to jump back to the titanic to die with him than to live without him.

[4everhopeful]

Lightme, I totally understand what youre saying about the way you feel. But I want you to realize that you have to love yourself also. It is somewhat unhealthy to think you cant live without this man. We all lose our partners at some point in our lives through the natural process, if you know what I mean. You must find happiness and enjoyment in your family and friends. Find the beauty that surrounds you everyday. I want you to think of just one thing daily that you appreciate and are thankful for. It does help to ease the pain that youre going through.
I talked to a wonderful lady the other day, yes she is a psychic. Was the best reading I think I ever got. She is not affiliated with CP at all or any of the "hotlines". She was very honest with me. She did tell me that she felt there would still be contact from my ex but she also encouraged me to be careful as she didnt think it would last if we got back together. But she told me to know in my heart that he would be showing up again but to let it go. I told her how hard that is and she put it to me this way. She said "I want you to know that he will turn up again and know this just like you know the sun will rise in the morning." Sounds simple I know. But as I thought about it, this is what they have been trying to get me to do all along. And I have felt better the last few days since practicing this. I do feel that he will show up again, even with circumstances what they are right now. But Im not obsessing anymore. I swear it was like a weight had been lifted after that reading. I guess because I knew she didnt have notes on me or know any information at all. She just took the names and gave me the reading. If anyone is interested I will be glad to provide her name for you. 15 minutes was 50 dollars but she didnt cut me off, she gave me almost 30 minutes and said she wasnt going to charge me anything else, she just knew I needed that little extra time. I thought that was really nice.
But please Lightme, love yourself and know that you CAN be happy until he comes back. If you feel in your heart that he will, then he probably will. But you want to be that happy person that he comes back to, not someone down in the dumps that cant enjoy life. Please dont wait and then look back to see that you have wasted time on being miserable. Life is to be lived and enjoyed and this is what I want for you. Its ok to still love him, I think we all go through that, but you still have to live your life. I hope this makes sense to you. And remember you can PM me anytime you want. I will be as supportive as I can be.

[lightme]

4ever, thank you for your kind words. I am happy for you that you had found some
form of closure from the last reading you had, and had found peace. I will keep your
recommendation in mind.

starrlite, thanks for your advice. I won't be calling new psychics for a while, they
really couldn't read the present situation and they ask leading questions. let alone
trust their prediction.
my SM is really reaching out, but they keep reading him as stepping back or shut down.
it seems like they are just saying the problem of the 90% callers. I feel I need
to report this finding here.
so far Nina is the better one, I will call her back after more things unfold and I will report back.

[Kareena]

lightme, do you think the psychics are reading the energy that your sm has for this woman who won't let him go. It is possible, in my opinion.

What I am surprised why they do not pick it up as Fear, because that is what it should be if he is not emotionally invested in the other woman. I think you need to probe this fully, honestly. Unless he has sort of surrendered emotionally albeit at a unconscious level you should be on a path to extricate from this bizarre, and complex and must say unfortunate situation for you.

[positivethoughts2]

I'm going to step in on this one and share my psychic strategy. Not everyone is going to agree with this - But -

When we call psychics, it is for information. I don't care what it takes (or what tool they use) to get the information. If we need to give them a 2 minute overview of our situation to get the most accurate information/predictions, why not just do that? I just called William and repeated an entire email conversation to get his take on it. I could have wasted 10 minutes of him trying to figure it out who said what but with my 2 minute info he was able to give me a bunch of insight that I really needed. I use the psychics as a tool to help me see what I can't see. I never call and try and see if they can figure something out. I don't need to waste my minutes on them figuring out something I already know. Plus I always correct them if they start going down a wrong path and if the entire reading is going in that direction I literally hang up. I try to help them because in the end, it helps me.

Now, if I am trying a new unknown psychic I might say, I've recently reconnected with SM, can you take a look and see what's coming up (or whatever). That is all I'll say and see what they get. If they "get-it" and they get a prediction right, from then on I tell them as much as they need and want to know.

Just my 2 cents. 

[Highlyfavored1]

I'm like you positivethoughts

Different Psychics have different gifts and varying degrees into which they can use these gifts. I've talked to psychics who I've only told them my name and they have told me a whole story. I've given my Date of Birth.

I can say that in all of my life's up's and down I've come tp depend on a few who are accurate with me no matter what I throw at them whether its a simple "yes" or "no" answer or whether I'm trying to deal with a stalker who is looking for me and trying to find a place to hide or whether the feelings that I feel in regard to a situation is accurate. I've had help.

I don't expect them to know everything, I'm thrilled when I give them the situation and they make accurate predictions based off what I shared and what they have picked up!!!

 

[Libra]

From my experience and from learning from spiritual teachers I have spoken to, predictions can change. Especially when you have 2 people with their own free will, things change so nothing is set in stone.
Also goal of CP and other psychic websites is to keep customers coming back, the psychics won't educate you and give you tips on self help they will only satisfy your curiosity for the time being, and hope you call again. I'm not saying it is wrong to consult psychics and get readings every now and then, but if you call out of fear and hoping to hear the answer you wish to hear then it will only be a dissapointment.

[Libra]

Here is a FREE listen to a spiritual teacher Jennifer Hoffman on creating, love, and relationships. Stuff that psychics will never tell you. Really interesting. Paste this link in your browser.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/jennifer-hoffman/2011/07/07/enlightening-life-with-jennifer-hoffman--your-mastery-guide