Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story

Newbie with a story to share

<< < (2/8) > >>

optx88:
Hi

Libra: you said "The most important relationship in our lives is the relationship with ourselves. From that stem all the other relationships in our lives."  I agree with this statement.  We are the most important being...we need to put ourselves first and take care of ourselves first and foremost...so we can stand strong and be able to take care of others they way we want and need to.

But I do disagree with "But the only Love there really is, is within ourselves."   I don't think the only love that is real is within ourselves...I think there are a lot of real love around all of us...but if we cannot love ourselves...it makes it hard for us to recognize the all the other different kinds of love that we are surrounded by.

I just don't think we are enough for ourselves.  We are not meant to survive on our inner love alone and we are not meant to be alone...we are meant to be touched.  There are different forms of touch and we need that along with other things in order to survive...without touch we are just different beings.  Touch is a huge huge part of what I do for a living and it is such an important part of healing.  We need to be touched...we need our hand held...we need to be hugged...we need a hand on our shoulder...I don't have that in my life and I can tell you that I am in desperate need of it...it is a natural need that we desire...and it doesn't have to be in a sexual kind of way.  We are not enough for ourselves...look at the movie Castaway...the creation of Wilson is the perfect example...without Wilson...he may not have survived.

Lightme:  I understand what you mea about "feeling empty without love"  It just feels like something is always missing...I felt that way for the longest longest time...the only time I didn't feel empty was when I was with my current ex.  I felt like the magic garden was blossoming inside of me lol  But I felt like all the pieces were all coming together and it felt so wonderful...I just felt like there was this light shining so brightly from inside my soul and it just felt amazing...I never had that feeling before....I hate not feeling that...not everyone can make you feel this way.

No worries... it is not about being right or wrong...it is about stating opinions.  This forum has made  me chuckle and it has made me cry.  It is nice to be able to learn new things and there is someone out there who just saw something in a different light...and that is what is so nice about stating our thoughts and opinions...it is not about being right or wrong :D

4everhopeful:
I think I can see both sides of the coin here. I agree that we can love ourselves and be very happy if we are not in a relationship. And yes, we are WHOLE even by ourselves. I dont believe in another person completing us. We are complete within ourselves. But we can love our children, our friends, our co workers and many other people that enter our lives. But the love we feel for a partner or soulmate or whatever you want to call it, is a different feeling altogether. I know that when I was with my ex, I was happier than I had ever been in my life. I had a feeling of contentment that I had never felt. I was excited to see him or just talk to him. There was a warm feeling that washed over me when he walked into the room or called me on the phone. It always made me smile. I truly miss that feeling. But lately I have finally realized that I can be happy again without him in my life. I wont be waiting for the reconnection, but I do feel in my heart that one of these days it will happen. I guess I will make a decision then if it does come to that point. But I will no longer have expectations.
Im talking to others now and opening myself up differently than I had been while waiting for the contact that the psychics told me would come. I am happy with my life but I too feel the loneliness and want someone in my life to spend time with and to touch, hold hands, gaze into his eyes, all that romantic stuff, lol. And its coming, in its own time. But Im truly feeling happy again. And I am soooooo glad. ;D

lightme:
i cannot be whole by myself, neither can my SM. is not just about gazing into each others eyes and holding hands. is about survival. life is literally meaningless without him, i feel so empty i have no more emotions to give to other people, not even my parents or my friends. flowers and mountains and rivers or the most beautiful song or the most exciting movie mean nothing to me. i am still holding up everyday because we still have hope. this is how deeply i love him. people can call this unhealthy, but to me this is true love. if i were in the titanic situation there is one more space in the life boat for me, i will choose to jump back to the titanic to die with him than to live without him.

4everhopeful:
Lightme, I totally understand what youre saying about the way you feel. But I want you to realize that you have to love yourself also. It is somewhat unhealthy to think you cant live without this man. We all lose our partners at some point in our lives through the natural process, if you know what I mean. You must find happiness and enjoyment in your family and friends. Find the beauty that surrounds you everyday. I want you to think of just one thing daily that you appreciate and are thankful for. It does help to ease the pain that youre going through.
I talked to a wonderful lady the other day, yes she is a psychic. Was the best reading I think I ever got. She is not affiliated with CP at all or any of the "hotlines". She was very honest with me. She did tell me that she felt there would still be contact from my ex but she also encouraged me to be careful as she didnt think it would last if we got back together. But she told me to know in my heart that he would be showing up again but to let it go. I told her how hard that is and she put it to me this way. She said "I want you to know that he will turn up again and know this just like you know the sun will rise in the morning." Sounds simple I know. But as I thought about it, this is what they have been trying to get me to do all along. And I have felt better the last few days since practicing this. I do feel that he will show up again, even with circumstances what they are right now. But Im not obsessing anymore. I swear it was like a weight had been lifted after that reading. I guess because I knew she didnt have notes on me or know any information at all. She just took the names and gave me the reading. If anyone is interested I will be glad to provide her name for you. 15 minutes was 50 dollars but she didnt cut me off, she gave me almost 30 minutes and said she wasnt going to charge me anything else, she just knew I needed that little extra time. I thought that was really nice.
But please Lightme, love yourself and know that you CAN be happy until he comes back. If you feel in your heart that he will, then he probably will. But you want to be that happy person that he comes back to, not someone down in the dumps that cant enjoy life. Please dont wait and then look back to see that you have wasted time on being miserable. Life is to be lived and enjoyed and this is what I want for you. Its ok to still love him, I think we all go through that, but you still have to live your life. I hope this makes sense to you. And remember you can PM me anytime you want. I will be as supportive as I can be.

lightme:
4ever, thank you for your kind words. I am happy for you that you had found some
form of closure from the last reading you had, and had found peace. I will keep your
recommendation in mind.

starrlite, thanks for your advice. I won't be calling new psychics for a while, they
really couldn't read the present situation and they ask leading questions. let alone
trust their prediction.
my SM is really reaching out, but they keep reading him as stepping back or shut down.
it seems like they are just saying the problem of the 90% callers. I feel I need
to report this finding here.
so far Nina is the better one, I will call her back after more things unfold and I will report back.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page