Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story

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Synergy:
Hello everyone!

I am so glad I found this forum.  I have been reading your posts and stories for a few weeks before I decided to join.  While some of you have been dealing with your SM's for years, my story is a bit different and odd because I only went out with my SM for a few months.

In June of last year, I transferred to another division of the company I work for.  At that time, I was immediately drawn to a man who's office was in the same hall as mine.  I soon found out that he had a girlfriend, so I came to realize we would only be friends.  He seemed to be inexplicably drawn to me just as I was drawn to him because he started engaging in conversations with me and asking me to lunch.  In October he suddenly broke up with his gf.  Now, at this point I still didn't think we would be moving past a friendship because he is 16 years older than me, and I have two young children.  He is 45 and has been married once, but he has never had kids and does not want to be a father. 

Well, it was completely out of the blue, but in November he asked me out on a date!!  I was over the moon.  I couldn't believe he wanted to take me out!  We had a great time, but that was it.  He didn't ask me out again until the middle of December.  That night we had our first kiss, and everything was perfect.  We went on two dates after that, and it was just magical.  There was nothing wrong.  We connected with one another, he introduced me to two sets of friends, his sister, her husband, and his autistic nephew.  I felt as if we were moving in the right direction because he was including me in these areas of his life. 

These dates were sporatic, though, because my ex was inconsistent in taking our daughters, and this man I speak of is in law school.  We were both busy, but somehow we made it work.  One day he freaked out.  He told me things were getting too "heavy".  He said law school had to be his #1 priority and that he could not get into a serious relationship.  I lied and told him that we could just casually date without any pressure.  Of course I wanted a relationship, but I didn't want to lose him completely.

I started calling psychics in January.  It is now the end of September, and I have spent more money than I care to think about.  We have not been intimate since May, and we actually have not seen each other outside of work since that day.  We see each other daily because of work.  We go to lunch together, and we have even discussed "starting over", but he always ruins things by saying he can't give me what I want. 

Almost every single psychic I've spoken with has referred to this man as a soulmate.  I truly believe he is my SM, as I cannot get him out of my mind.  This isn't just because I'm lonely.  Since I stopped seeing him, other men have shown nterest and have asked me out.  The thing is... I don't want to go out with those men!  I'm just not interested in anyone else. 

Timeframes come and go, but so many psychics see the same outcome.  So many have said we will be married, he will love my children, everything will work out.  I'm not sure how these things will happen if this man is so commitment-phobic.  My faith remains, especially when psychics do pick up on some of his issues that I can confirm.  I have had some readers who are spot on when it comes to his past (with his parents, ex wife, work, law school).  It's so disappointing when predictions don't come to pass.  Several empaths have confirmed my intuition when it comes to his feelings.  I know that he cares about me, but he is just so scared. 

I am no longer concerned with timeframes.  I'd just like to see some change when it comes to this situation.  I've primarily called readers on Keen, but I recently started calling California Psychics (CP).  I also have an account with Psychic Source and LivePerson, but I didn't like either of these sites.  There are so many frauds out there, but all of my most trusted psychics who have been accurate with small predictions and with past and present readings say that we will be together. 

This entire situation has been more difficult than leaving my cheating ex!  I can't explain it, and all my friends think I'm crazy.  They don't understand why I am stuck on this man.  I can't say I understand it either, but I know we have a soul connection.  I just don't understand why he can't take a chance on us. 

Oh well, now I'm just happy I can come here and discuss this with all of you!  Thank you for allowing me to join the forum.  I look forward to chatting with all of you!

Starrlite:
Synergy,

I feel your pain.  I have had psychics tell me once and again that this guy and i are soul mates that he'll change and we'll be together.  I have spoken to psychics on keen and psychic source and everyone has said the same thing.  Now I no longer want this man.  I still love him but I'm so disillusioned.  I feel like all the psychics are frauds now but I still continue to call them.  I called Abby on psychic source today and told her the new stuff happening right now in my relationship, and for the first time in 6 months she said this other guy that I used to work with is my soul mate.  I think they are making predictions based on information that I am giving them.  You know what at some point you need to give one of these other men a chance because if not you will be waiting for something that might not happen.  If SM decides to come back you can make a choice then whether you want to be with him or stay where you are.  Its only fair for you to do what is right for you and I think that getting back out there is always a good thing whether it works out or not.  My SM was my world but i find myself very excited about a date I'm about to go on with my former co worker.  Some stuff has come true for me, communication wise but the big prediction hasn't I feel like i have become my SM's shoulder and his friend and that everyday things get further and further from where i want them to be.

lightme:
so happy to see so many newbies today! i used to join a couple of relationship forums but the people there are not as nice as this forum. sometimes we may sound a bit down and discouraged here but the overall friendliness of this forum is amazing! i am only sticking to this forum now and love it!

Libra:
You are right Lightme this forum is tons of support. Back in January it was super intense here, but overall thanks to the Healer for setting this up.

On the other hand dear Lightme I must disagree and back it up with psychology and spiritual source, they will tell you that, yes we can be enough by ourselves, we are conditioned to be with someone, since that is what we see in our society. But spiritually we are WHOLE, you can find the source of infinite Love in yourself, as we are made to the image of God, Divine, Spirit whatever you want to call it. But the only Love there really is, is within ourselves. The most important relationship in our lives is the relationship with ourselves. From that stem all the other relationships in our lives.
Trust me this was so abstract to me years ago that I didn't attempt to think much of it, but I gave it a chance and I awaken that is the only way to call it. Just giving this thought a chance and asking for a healing is a perfect way to address it and in this way spend/invest the money in yourself. CP is only feeding the fear, notice the feelings when you are about to call most likely the main feeling is fear. It doesn't have to be that way. I'm not bashing psychics I think it is OK to call once in a while to get guidance, but not to get in the psychic craziness. Blessings!

lightme:
Hi Libra, i know what you mean, i wish i can reach this stage, but i really can't at the moment, is too "high level". maybe at the age of 60 i may be able to. i don't think i was conditioned to think this way. since a teenager i felt life was just going thru motion unless i am in love. i do well in all areas, i have my hobbies and i love my work and i look nice, i mean i am not a bum who does nothing. i do all that i could in life but i just feel empty without love. in another forum people call this love addict, and they actually bash me up calling me unhealthy. i was so hurt.

i am not trying to be right here, i had been thinking about what you wrote a long time. talking about God, even God needs love, He commands us to love him as the first commandment, and He is sad too if we don't love him. so how could a person be totally happy just by himself? i am not saying a person will be sad when he is alone, i am sure there will be some joy and at peace etc. i can function alone too, but i want to to be at that level of joy which is only possible when i am with my SM. 

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