Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
My Story (Newbie)
Highlyfavored1:
4everhopeful and Sunandmoon!
Thank's its hard, but I just feel the more I hold on to him, I may be blocking someone who is not scared to step up to the plate to come along!!
He's dragging his feet Another many WILL COME ALONG I'm sure and when he does I'm not going to look back. For now, he has a grace period in which if he would step up to the plate I would take him back. But that will be ending soon as my heart is hardening towards him daily. I will always have love for him, but I won't always be in love with him. We will share the connection, but I'm tired!
4everhopeful:
I sure understand being tired H. Me too. And after the reading I had this afternoon, I feel better than I have in a long time. I wont let anyone take this feeling away. It is time to move on and if he resurfaces I will deal with it at that time, if he doesnt then it is his loss and I know in my heart that he knows he made a mistake. He is trapped and he will feel the remorse no matter what road he decides to take. He has no way out now. There will be regrets in either direction. But I have options. And one of my options is to be happy no matter what my circumstances because I have healthy children, a nice home, a good job, and nothing to pressure me. But he on the other hand, he is faced with a responsibility that he never wanted. So he is trapped and can't be relieved of the responsibility without regrets and remorse. To be honest with you, as we say in the south, "Its gravy on my grits" that he has gotten himself involved in such a mess. Because I know he never wanted such a thing. All he ever wanted was a woman with no ties, no children, nothing but attention for him. Now he has to share it all and support a woman and a child. LOL. Forgive me but I have to laugh just a little. I will be free of the child rearing in just a few short years, he has at least 18 yrs to go, lmao. I guess I got the last laugh after all.
The reason I say this is that the reading I received this afternoon covered this issue. I told her that I hated that he was faced with such an issue and I hoped that he was happy but just wanted to know how he felt. She said he wasnt happy at all with the situation and that it wouldnt last. I know what he went through after his divorce and involving his children. If he leaves another child behind, it will eat him alive. Maybe karma really does bite you in the butt. And he isnt gonna have a butt left, lol. Oh well. I told him he was making a mistake when he left me. I think I was right.
I dont mean to sound cruel or mean. But I think it serves him right to try so hard to find a woman without children or family and now to find himself with a child on the way. Especially while Im free to do what I want, when I want. With the exception of having a teen age son, who by the way, is a budding football star, which the ex would have loved if he had just taken the time and effort to take the chance. Looks like he will miss it all. I feel sorry for him in a way. But thats the way the cookie crumbles. Thank you so much Jewels Edwards, for such an honest and uplifting reading. Even if it wasnt what I really wanted to hear. It has set me free.
lightme:
Hi Friends, what do you think of the following statements:
" i am single, i like this girl soooo much, and she likes me so much too and she appears crushed that i am not contacting her. i have such intense feelings towards her and i am so scared ! so intense that i need to disappear for i-dont-know-how-long."
i observed that many of us are here because our guys had stepped back ( way too much and for too long ) and even hanging out with other women. and i observed the pattern that the most psychics say the same thing no matter how bad the situation is: he has such intense feelings for you that he is scared. and it is just a casual relationship with the girl he is with right now ( and it is ABSOLUTELY LOGICAL that he is spending tons of time with her and not with you but you are the one he has intense feelings for. and feelings grow with time but he is choosing to grow feelings with her and not with you. he has strong connections with you but beats me why he has no craving to see you. )
i am not directing the above at anybody, but i am directing it to the psychics.
i had read relationship books and breakup packages with sound and logical advices. there is such thing call commitment phobia, and bordom and losing interesting and checking other people out. there is no such thing as i have intense feelings for you and i am so scared that i have to disappear for a long long time ( unless there is valid reasons like he is married or he has terminal illness and only has 6 months to live.) i am a man in my 40s, but i feel so scared like a little rabbit in front of the woman i love so deeply. i have to leave her and sleep with someone else.
seesh.... does the above even make sense?
Synergy:
Lightme, you are so right!!!!
Almost every single psychic I have spoken with says the same exact thing. With my guy, I know he's busy with law school and work. I get it. He also told me directly that he does not want a commitment due to the fact that law school is his number one priority. With that said, this doesn't stop him from going out and meeting other women. The advisors I trust and speak with repeatedly all say that he's not involved with anyone seriously, and he spends time with other women because he's a man and... wait for it... he's SCARED of the feelings he has for me. GIVE ME A BREAK!!! This man is 45 years old! He's been in enough relationships and one failed marriage to know all about feelings and how to handle them.
Sure, I have fears too! Especially considering all the stuff the father of my children put me through, BUT I know that there are good men out there, and I know that not everyone is going to be like my ex. Why can't this new man just face his fears or ignore them or move past them to move forward with me?? If he wants me, he'll be with me. So then why can't I just accept that? Instead, I've convinced myself that he has these deep, intense feelings for me and that I should just wait around for him to realize I'm worth the risk. Please. In the meantime, it is very likely that he'll start to get closer to one of these meaningless flings, and he'll move on from me! This is so ridiculous.
I'm turning 30 on Thursday. Only one psychic has said that this man will do something for my birthday. All others say he's stressed, he's busy, he wants to do something, but he just can't. Are you kidding me?! I see him everyday at work. I've done stuff for him for Christmas, his birthday, and Valentine's Day. He has not done the same for me. I'm not asking for anything big, just some acknowledgement or a date! I won't hold my breath. Why? I know it's not because of all these intense feelings he supposedly has... NO, it's because he just doesn't care.
I'm embarassed to think I've held on with basically nothing from him since May. The saddest part is that even though I just spelled it out for myself, I'm going to continue hoping he'll come around and realize what he could have with me. :-[ As I do that, I'll also continue spending money on psychics who aren't going to tell me anything different than what they've been telling me since January.
vanyct:
I agree with Synergy, if I really stop and think about it the scenario descrided fits my siutation to a tee. my friends have told me to move on but that is not what I want to hear, I want to believe what the psychics have told me, this woman I see him with is just a friend, he really wants to be with me but is affraid to come forward for blah blah blah reason. I have convinced myself that all these psychics can not be wrong and they know more than my friends do so I am going to believe the psychics.
I think for me its hard to let go because everyone once in a while I will see something in him that gives me that small glimmer of hope that what the psychics have told me is true. I hope they are right but if they are not, I hope I come to that reality soon.
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