Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story

Letting go and moving on

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lightme:
i know what you mean and i wish you two get back together.

i don't want to date either. lol

scorpiogirl:

--- Quote from: Imasweetiepie on September 16, 2011, 02:32:28 AM ---That is good tips for someone that wants to move on but I personally dont want to. I love this man very much even though I broke up with him. I was forced by his mom and my mom. No other guy can make me happy the way he does. He is my best friend, and when you really love someone u can't move on. I talked to one of his friends and he told me that my ex wants to be with me and the reason he pulled back was he did not want to get me involved in the situation. Their was so much confussion going on jacqueline and the other psychics was right. The two of us will be together when the time is right, and I know that.

--- End quote ---

I'm sorry but this is a really unhealthy attitude. If you really love yourself you will move on with your life. It doesn't mean you stop loving the person but you cannot sit around and wait and wait and wait. If you're not ready to date that's all good and well for you, but I don't think it's fair to do this on this thread where the OP is trying to move on.

4everhopeful I think it's great that you made steps toward dating again. I know it took me some time and it's not easy but you had a good start. You went out! :-)
Don't be so hard on yourself though. I've learned not to take things personally if someone wasn't feeling the date. We're just not a good match. He may or may not call you again, and if he doesn't that just means you have another opportunity to meet another guy who will knock your socks off. ;)

Inactive- PHN:
I am not sitting around and waiting for him I am doing my own thing when I want to and I know what I want more then anybody else does. However, I am not going to move on like I said I love this guy very much and I went on this date with the other guy and I was very unhappy, it is hard to explain. His friend told me to be patient that he has already had.a conversation with my ex and he is planning something for me but would not tell me what, other then u are going to love it :) I am so excited. He did say that my ex wants to be with me long term just trying to get his life in order :) which is fine with me I got plenty of time. :)

4everhopeful:
I understand all of you that dont want to move on, I dont want to either in a way, but I have no choice as I havent heard from my ex in so long. Even though I do still love him. No one ever understands true love until you feel it. And I finally felt it but then it was taken away.
I also understand that not all dates are going to turn out well. But I dont get the opportunity to date several at a time. And the dating pool in my area is very limited as I live in a very small town. I am on a couple of dating sites and the majority of the men that email me there look so nasty or uncaring in the way they portray themselves. Or they are just too blatant about just wanting someone to sleep with. Im not going there.
As far as this guy I had dinner with,,,,,I am keeping an open mind as I know he is a very busy man, but at the same time, Im being realistic and basing my feelings on what has happened in the past. Very few men will leave a date early if they are interested at all. I really dont expect to hear from him again. I would have thought he would at least send a text saying he enjoyed meeting me and would call again sometime, but I didnt get any text at all from him.
Who knows? Maybe it just isnt time yet for me to meet someone that I really click with. Back to my usual routine of working and coming home. Guess I will use this time to repaint the bedrooms, lol.

sunandmoon:
It is hard to move on for sure, especially when you've put so much time and energy (and money!) into someone. What I had with my ex was true love as well and it was him that pursued me and convinced me that we were right for each other and meant to be. And then him that left without a word. So how do you deal with that? It's been 18 very long painful months and the simple fact is, I haven't been happy for a long time. And it was this man that loved me more than life itself that made me unhappy and *I* allowed him to all this time.

I don't know the answers. No one here does. But I have always known that things will work out ok somehow and for some of us they are, because we are trying new things. Everyone moves at their own pace.

I was once in your shoes sweetiepie, where I felt that I would never care for anyone else because what we had was so real and pure. But guess what, now it's only what *I* have for him. I have not heard from him in almost 4 weeks (we've had limited contact all along), he's completely changed (drinking a lot and other personality changes) and is not the man I fell in love with. Sure, that man may be under there somewhere, but how long do I wait for him to pull his head out of his ass? I'm in my mid-40's and I have been pretty lonely, as full as my life is.

Simple fact is that he is not there for me and other people do want to be there for me and get to know me. It's time I stopped holding people at arms length and maybe smiled once in awhile - a real smile.

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