Stop Asking

[HornetKick]

This came across my reddit feed. This FDS, FemaleDatingStrategy sub has been mentioned on the forum before.

Stop asking yourself why it didn't work out with a piece of shit guy and ask yourself wtf you were missing in your life that made you so attracted to a trash bag in the first place.

Title Story: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g6zg0c/so_many_times_i_blamed_myself/
From: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/

I've included a link to the book mentioned in the sub as well called: Attached by Amir Levine. I thought it might help someone.
https://www.docdroid.net/Q310fW5/amir-levine-rachel-heller-attached-the-new-science-of-adult-attachment-and-how-it-can-help-you-find-and-keep-love-penguin-group-usa-2010-pdf

[Natashanyc]

I agree  with this so much ... I have a ex that won’t leave me alone or let go and few years ago I was on these sites tryna figure out when we will be together. Until I realized I’m worth more than he could ever credit me for and I moved on in every way. Best thing I ever did was let him go and let him be with someone else by NOT fighting what the universe is putting in place anymore . I do believe what is meant to be WILL BE but I also believe a man will only do what u allow and no one should be allowed to hurt u countless times and have u waiting on them. Now he is where I was 2 years ago wondering how will he ever get me back. I used to block him and ignore his messages but now he understands boundaries because he knows without boundaries he will never speak to me. I see people here waiting on their poi KNOWING he’s romantically moved on and physically moved on and it turns my stomach because even in this pandemic where people are dying everyday (l just lost 9 co workers and 1 relative to this virus) and people are WAITING on people who have clearly moved on and are hoping to rush the universe or change the order in their life path to fit around their poi and it’s SAD. The thought of any love interest of mine with another woman disgusts me and I will never be second best to nobody. A man that knows he can hurt u to your face is dangerous and he WILL CONTINUE TO HURT U BECAUSE HE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT. When the right man comes u will appreciate yourself so much more and that kinda love will be satisfying and worth walking away from any man who can’t treat u right. I had to leave my ex of 5 years of hurt in order for the universe to allow a good man to find me (cuz I didn’t find him lol) ....If my ex was a changed man now (he’s not but hypothetically lol) why would I wait on what would have been a 2.5 year wait for him to get it together only AFTER realizing these other women he entertained can’t fulfill a quarter of the type of woman I am ? I say that to say DID U EVER ASK YASELF WHEN WILL I NO LONGER WAIT OR READ ON THIS MANS RETURN? Do u have a tolerance level? Do u love him more than u love yourself ? If he blocked u, are you goin to continue to wait on this man?

And side bar no shade * but if a mans new gf told him to have respect and block a ex that’s the right thing to do. Because he has moved on and wants to respect his lady ... if u was in a relationship I doubt u want the ex to converse with ex’s ... try to think of situations from all views.

[Natashanyc]

Definitely true ...my ex was and still is emotionally imbalanced. I always found myself trying to fix everything and play superwoman to his rescue. Even now he contacted me to check on me but threw in how bad he’s doing... how bad his finances are etc .... that woulda drew in the kind heart I have years ago but now I am full aware of manipulation tactics and I would never allow that where I’m at in my life now. I just going to give words of empathy (NOT SYMPATHY)...part of me wants to tell him why can’t he confide in the women he chose over me way back then but I’m in a good mood and I’m still blessed and highly favored in every way during this pandemic so I’m going to relax lol

[HornetKick]

What is harder to understand (even now) is why I tolerated such horrible behavior from both of them, did not have good boundaries, did not either put my foot down or walk away sooner. Under any other circumstances I would walk away from a person who treated me that way, or kick them to the curb, but I made tons of excuses for these two.

This is what I see as the crux of many of the posts about POIs especially when the poster talks about how they were ghosted but they are waiting in the wings to take the person back, or having been beaten and given broken bones, and still wait to return to the SO, or how they are mistreated in other ways and are still clinging onto hope in some way.... It is so difficult to read stories like this from women, but society was set up like this. Statistically, men are happier in their relationships than women are. I recall this from ages ago so I can't quote where it came from exactly.

[bee.23]

I agree  with this so much ... I have a ex that won’t leave me alone or let go and few years ago I was on these sites tryna figure out when we will be together. Until I realized I’m worth more than he could ever credit me for and I moved on in every way. Best thing I ever did was let him go and let him be with someone else by NOT fighting what the universe is putting in place anymore . I do believe what is meant to be WILL BE but I also believe a man will only do what u allow and no one should be allowed to hurt u countless times and have u waiting on them. Now he is where I was 2 years ago wondering how will he ever get me back. I used to block him and ignore his messages but now he understands boundaries because he knows without boundaries he will never speak to me. I see people here waiting on their poi KNOWING he’s romantically moved on and physically moved on and it turns my stomach because even in this pandemic where people are dying everyday (l just lost 9 co workers and 1 relative to this virus) and people are WAITING on people who have clearly moved on and are hoping to rush the universe or change the order in their life path to fit around their poi and it’s SAD. The thought of any love interest of mine with another woman disgusts me and I will never be second best to nobody. A man that knows he can hurt u to your face is dangerous and he WILL CONTINUE TO HURT U BECAUSE HE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT. When the right man comes u will appreciate yourself so much more and that kinda love will be satisfying and worth walking away from any man who can’t treat u right. I had to leave my ex of 5 years of hurt in order for the universe to allow a good man to find me (cuz I didn’t find him lol) ....If my ex was a changed man now (he’s not but hypothetically lol) why would I wait on what would have been a 2.5 year wait for him to get it together only AFTER realizing these other women he entertained can’t fulfill a quarter of the type of woman I am ? I say that to say DID U EVER ASK YASELF WHEN WILL I NO LONGER WAIT OR READ ON THIS MANS RETURN? Do u have a tolerance level? Do u love him more than u love yourself ? If he blocked u, are you goin to continue to wait on this man?

And side bar no shade * but if a mans new gf told him to have respect and block a ex that’s the right thing to do. Because he has moved on and wants to respect his lady ... if u was in a relationship I doubt u want the ex to converse with ex’s ... try to think of situations from all views.

FACTSSSSSS. This hit home so dearly... the mentality I am reaching with my ex who acts the same way. We were also together 5 years, and he moved on with someone else, but will never let me go. Literally always resurfaces. 1 year and 4 months post break up, and I have improved my boundaries so much, and am not that weak woman I use to be. Its a process.

Resonated intensely.

Wishing u the best, glad you stepped into your power 

[Natashanyc]

FACTSSSSSS. This hit home so dearly... the mentality I am reaching with my ex who acts the same way. We were also together 5 years, and he moved on with someone else, but will never let me go. Literally always resurfaces. 1 year and 4 months post break up, and I have improved my boundaries so much, and am not that weak woman I use to be. Its a process.

Resonated intensely.

Wishing u the best, glad you stepped into your power 
[/quote]

THANK YOU AND IM SO HAPPY FOR U!!! It’s so weird because back then I wanted nothing more than to be with him now i look at my phone and want to throw it out a window when he reaches out lmao 5 years of BS but I learned so much and I take those life lessons and use them now. He’s probably looking for friendship but I don’t befriend ex’s . I’m so glad u said that word POWER. We run everything and if woman knew how much power we have WE WOULD ALL BE UNSTOPPABLE.... best of luck to u !

[bee.23]

FACTSSSSSS. This hit home so dearly... the mentality I am reaching with my ex who acts the same way. We were also together 5 years, and he moved on with someone else, but will never let me go. Literally always resurfaces. 1 year and 4 months post break up, and I have improved my boundaries so much, and am not that weak woman I use to be. Its a process.

Resonated intensely.

Wishing u the best, glad you stepped into your power 

THANK YOU AND IM SO HAPPY FOR U!!! It’s so weird because back then I wanted nothing more than to be with him now i look at my phone and want to throw it out a window when he reaches out lmao 5 years of BS but I learned so much and I take those life lessons and use them now. He’s probably looking for friendship but I don’t befriend ex’s . I’m so glad u said that word POWER. We run everything and if woman knew how much power we have WE WOULD ALL BE UNSTOPPABLE.... best of luck to u !
[/quote]

Thank you and same!! I absolutely love this energy. Its inspirational after everything I also went through. Shows me, time really does heal all. And one day I might fully get to the space youre in as well

[spiritualbinger]

YES YES YES YES YES!!!

I love this so much. May we all lean into this energy and believe that what is meant for us will come to us. No matter what any psychic says. I get so sad reading the desperation in the posts of those inquiring about their POIs and spending thousands of hard earned dollars on readers, then I slap myself because I am that same person! We deserve the love and attention and concern we give to our POIs—even when they’re causing us hell!

My favorite quote is “What's meant for you will reach you even if it's beneath two mountains, and what's not meant for you won't reach you even if it's between your two lips.” If you come across this post, please repeat this 3x. Write it down and come back to it to remind yourself that what’s yours will never pass you!