Thanks to a few members who have messaged me and reading a lot of posts and doing some real solid introspection, there are two things that are really, really working for me to help my anxiety and impulse to make calls. I wanted to share these two things with other readers in case it’s helpful.
The first is working really specifically with positive affirmations to replace the other more negative thought patterns. I found a fantastic app which if you want to DM me I will share it - but where you can record yourself saying your affirmations and then you can put music to it and listen to it whenever wherever. What’s great is ir also has a great library of ore written ones. I think the most effective thing for me though is it being in my own voice and writing my own very specific to the things I need to work on. So I’ve been listening to those for about a week and have felt a huge shift in my mood.
The other thing that was suggested to me was to work with law of attraction and law of detachment and visualizations. Had a couple great books recommended and found another myself. This is awesome because for me I am finding a LOT of comfort in letting go meaning letting go of OUTCOME vs I’ve always thought of letting go as “you need to cease and completely force yourself to stop thinking about this person at all costs. And you are a terrible person and screwing up if you can’t do that.” So letting go to me has always felt so hard because the more i try to force letting go the worse it is.
However, combining the law of detachment - where you are not wanting someone to be something they’re not - and not pining away for a specific outcome - or sad about something not happening or any of that - letting go of the outcome not meaning you have to force yourself somehow to stop caring about the person - well that is much more easy and attainable and feels so much more better to me.
And now so if I allow myself a 10 - 15 minute slot of meditation / visualization about this person, it it’s me in a really good frame of mind because I can really feel like I just spent time with him... and then move along with my day not at all focused on him because I feel happy I just felt like I was with him.
So this is the combination that’s working for me. Plus on top of it focusing on myself and taking care of myself and looking and being open to dating other people.
These are tangible solid actions that are actually making a difference for me and I am determined to keep it up
Thank you to those that made these suggestions to me
