Hello All...I am new to this site and I am not sure if it is a blessing or a curse to me so far. To tell you my story and so far my success, or downfalls I should say.
In the beginning of this year in January I lost probably who I truly consider the girl of my dreams. I loved everything about her and she had a wonderful heart. I made a huge mistake and for the life of me still not sure why I did it but I did. Her and I were only friends at the time (even though in the past we were in a relationship). The mistake I did was that I went on a dating site to look for friends. Outside of her, I had no friends. I never told her about the fact I was on a dating site and regret it the most this day in my life. She had found out and I lost her friendship.
Came around April I was in a really downward spiral in my life. Hit an extreme depression and even thoughts of suicide had came into my head. I finally woke up one day and said enough was enough, I needed help...on top of that I also contacted her (the girl I lost) and told her my deepest depression. She was not there to help and I pulled myself to go into therapy and I started to better myself. My life turned around a lot for the most part. I got out of this prison I felt I was in for the longest part of my life and felt free so to speak. I did not have her but she was ALWAYS on my mind. Always wondered would we get back, did I lose her for good, would we have another chance?
Mid-May I had my very first psychic reading. It was a medium that was referred to me from a coworker and he picked up everything about me. About my past, my present and told me bits about my future. It was a surreal experience. He had told me that I would have to choose between my old flame and a new one that will pop in my life and it would happen possibly soon. Well I told him I wanted my ex and he mentioned it would be an extreme uphill battle. She is extremely hurt and does not fully trust me. He felt it was really better for me to move on and close the door, open new doors, and if she is ready she will come back if the universe allows it. Great experience none the less.
I kept in contact with him every week by phone (he did not charge me) but I started to get anxiety. He told me that I needed to calm down, my energy was low...and when I mentioned to him that she did tell me a few weeks ago she be a friend at best, he went off and told me well you already got your answer...which confused me greatly because I told him that in the VERY first time I got a reading from him...needless to say I was confused. He told me to just go with what your heart tells you...go to sleep and REALLY think and ask your guides if she is the one for me, show me a sign or a vision. I always go to sleep that night with her on my mind.
I ended up trying another store psychic, she told me that she loves me deeply but is not sure if I am being real with her...give her time but I need to focus on myself, my energy was too low and she also tried to sell me some stuff to boost my energy and happiness so to speak...that to me was a red flag and so I was done with that. I also started to go on the online psychics.
I ended up going on both Psychic Source and Asknow. I have a bad hearing loss so I ended up opting for the chat feature. My first reading the woman told me to go see her in person, see her at work and tell her that you are sorry...I never did. I felt that she was wrong and that would piss of my ex more than anything (to barge into her work and talk about deep stuff, not good).
Had some other readings while I had those 1min per dollar feature...on both sites. Got very similar readings. Most if not all said she would come back to me, she just needed time and I have to be patient. Some said as early as July, others said August...one predicted as late as October. I had one reading with a guy name Michael Sky on Asknow. I remember his reading the best because I went to him the most. I have to admit the first time I spoke to him, I just said hello and he went off...didnt even ask a question and he already got everything down what was on my mind...shocked me and I was in awe. Figured this guy MUST be true then right.
His first reading stated that she has a lot of fear in her and that I need to just give her space, she would be back in 6 weeks...he also felt how discomforting that felt and told me to give him a few days to meditate on it and check back with him. He gave me some free minutes and I did. He then told me that she is on the verge of reaching out to me but is afraid, I need to pull my energy out and just focus on myself...and that in 3 weeks time or so, she would be back. So I went with his advice...followed it to the letter basically. Checked with him in about 3 weeks and he tells me that she is still on that verge, that I need to reach out to her now, send her a letter and contact her. I did that...then he tells me to pull back again and give her 3 weeks...I am going, ok this is crap and I feel like he is playing games with me and my situation...gave him benefit of the doubt. Checked back and he goes, its going to be 3 weeks, you have not pulled your energy out, you are still thinking about her, until you do, she will not come to you. I am going "WHAT??" If i move on, how she going to come to me...he says that she will, her angel spirit guides will miss the lost of my energy and pull her towards me again and that we were BOTH true soul mates. I never could pull my energy. I am now in Late July.
Got a reading with Narnia on PsychicSource. She had a lot of reviews and all positive and figured what the heck, she has the better score than most on the chat feature. Tried her out and she picked up situation VERY well. I did not ask the normal, does she love me and we get back together. I am now at the point of just moving on...and asked "Should I contact her, or just move on"...I honestly was ready for the bad news. She told me that she is full of fear. She is afraid and that she ask that I have patient right now. So I said ok....she told me right now give her about 6 days and send her a personal letter. Which I did. Gave it a week, called her and asked my ex, hey, how are you, you get my letter. Since May she never responded so you know...may have forgot to mention that. So I am lost again, contacted Narnia, she said she remembers my energy but not the question. Ask me to refresh the question...I did. She tells me about the same thing, she is full of fear, she is keeping herself busy of sort as a defense mechanism and distraction from what she feels. Narnia states that she got the letter and it opened her a little but give her another 6 days. Narnia even admitted that it was strange but that is what it came out as. She then told me that I should trust my instincts because they are good on when to contact her...this reading was about 2 weeks ago.
So last weekend comes around and I am in my normal slump...during the week I am fine...weekends I am depressed, wondering what is going on, what to do, and normally turn to a psychic. For some stupid reason I decided to try out 2 psychics on live person. Figure I try them out and not use a company base. They both told me the same thing. One told me that she will contact me in 6 days, she is afraid but she loves me deeply. The other told me that we would contact one another in the 3rd quarter (July and September) and reconcile in the beginning of the 4th quarter (October). She felt reconciliation was happening very soon because we are already more than half way in the 3rd quarter. She mentioned to me that I should just give her light hearted messages so that way when she does contact me it wont feel weird but she will contact me soon.
Now it is Monday and start of the week...but having these anxieties about her. I can not shake her out of my head. I am not obsessed but yet I can not get her out of my head. I try to remember what my first psychic tells me. He told me to REALLY think hard and try to ask your spirit guides if she is the one for me and to show it in my dreams. I never got those dreams of anything...so I was lost. Last night I decided to try this one place out that I remember my therapist once mentioning to me about 3 months ago. It was a local spiritual store that offered a special psychic reader daily. So I went on the site and I read who was there today (Wednesday). A medium and empath and a couple of other things I can not remember right now.
I met this woman and I have to be honest, scared to death whats going to happen, is she going to play with me, be honest, pick me up GREATLY or what. Had a 30 minute reading that went almost 50 minutes (only charged 30 thankfully). My reading went great. She picked me up wonderfully and told me things that were true about me. She says that I am an extremely intelligent person and also a very intuitive person as well and that is why I am always so confused. My feelings tell me one thing, but then my logic tells me another. She got everything right about my recent past, and present state. She even got the picture of me with my ex and that situation correct. She told me though, flat out, she WAS a soul mate but I blew it. I screwed up and she does not trust me at all and will not come back to me. All the little things I done, letters, light hearted messages, etc..were nice but she does not believe them at all. She told me that I have to let her go because there is another that is coming into my life VERY soon...if I do not, I lose that chance with the new girl that will push me as well. It was VERY tough to stomach because I even told her, I love this girl, I cant bear to be without her and when I dream I feel I am RIGHT next to her. She still told me that she REALLY felt she was not the right one for me, but there would be a SMALL, minor chance that maybe she will take me back but I would REALLY have to prove it to her. What she meant was that I have to not date, see any girls, nothing...be a monk for as long as it takes to get her back because she is watching me basically...and even if I do all that, no guarantees she would take me back or give me that chance...she still felt she probably would not. She then told me you have two choices...GO see her and talk to her, try to talk to her, if she will talk to you, then she will admit she still cares in some form...if she does not talk to you, ignore you, then you have your answer, it is over...she told me GO do this if you really feel she is the one.
Well I did tonight. I went by her house to see if she was home, she was. I sent her a message that I was outside and I like to talk (called her), no answer...sent a text in case she did not hear the voice mail...nothing. Rang her door bell a couple of times, nothing...Sent a couple more text telling her I like to talk and it was very important...no answer from the phone calls or text. Waited about 10 to 15 minutes maybe...nothing. I tried to look around and noticed it was very dark at her house and maybe she was just not home and was out in someone else's car...who knows right. Left and figure I try again Friday. That will NEVER happen now. I got a phone call from her tonight...my first reaction is, first response in 3 months??? Answered the call and it is not her. It is not a friend either. This is the police officer informing me that if I contact her, bother her, or anything in any way from now on...I would end up in jail for harassment!!!! I am going what the hell???
I am first in a total state of shock...the police officer is telling me that I have been driving by her house all the time, NOPE, first time by her house. Telling me I am calling her work to see if she is there...NEVER called her work. Saying I have been calling her all the time. I called her maybe 3 times in the past 3 months, texted her maybe 8 times in those 3 months...and wrote 2 letters...this is harassment??? I did not push it with him...I did tell him in MY defense that she NEVER, once told me, to leave her alone or back away. She never told me not to contact me...I told him the truth and that I had a very important incident happen and needed to talk to her and so I drove by to see if she was home and she was...I was NOT stalking or trying to harass her. That important incident was the death of a family member recently and I thought she like to know for one and hopefully maybe be there to help me a little...instead this is what I get?? I even asked the officer that is it ok if I send her just a formal apology in an email to say I am sorry for bothering you and upsetting you...he advised me not to because it will go in the case and she could forward that to me and I could get a warrant for my arrest??? WOW!!!
So this is my story regarding psychics. As I stand right now on the online psychics...they are bunch of fairy storytellers. They only want to tell you a happy ending to give you something to look forward to. I went to them for guidance whether it was good or bad. I still believe in psychics but as I stand now...I do not believe ANYTHING online and after having a reading with this one woman today, I believe her more than those morons online. I probably spent around $1000 on these psychics online only to end up pushing this woman that I loved. If I knew THIS was the consequence, I would have moved on back in May...I only held on because I believed she was the one but never thought it turn out like this.
Sorry for this HUGE wall of text but this is my story and I hope this site will be a blessing for me to gain some new friends and a shoulder to grab in life...cause as I stand I am pretty devastated in this turn of events and no idea what to do.
