"I know you say he will come back but it's been <insert time here> and I can't take it anymore. I want to move on to guy b"
Be it someone interested in you or not? Charlotte told me I should be in NC more to give myself more power. I am so upset at what is or may be happening with this new guy that I am beside myself. And this pisses me off. I think if he was meant to replace my sm, I'd have no hesitations. But is my co-dependency flaring up again and making me feel guilty? I feel like I'm in an affair again and I'm not even seeing anyone! All I know is I have a SM who won't let me go completely and a new guy that seems to like me. And I'm scared of my own shadow.
But in my last few readings I've asked about both guys and they all say sm is the one. Even a free email reading I got off a site in another country - I've never read with them before!
I suppose this would be easier if sm was dating but he doesn't seem to be. He is talking to someone at the moment but she's been around for 2 yrs and is still married so...... if he was really interested at this point he'd be freaking out about her not making divorce moves. I really think that she is just filler to him as he needs filler in his life and he's shutting out his family. Though his mom thinks he's going out more lately since he hasn't been stuck babysitting. Which is funny as LAST week his mom said he likes to make me think he's going out when he's really sitting home. I made her promise me that she'd tell me if he started seeing anyone (last week she said he was surely not because he was home all the time). Last time he tried a r/s she didn't tell me till it ended but continued to encourage me to have hope.
Ugh I am totally rambling but I'm really lost and confused right now. This stinks. It would be so nice to have the thrill of someone paying attention to me and wanting to be with me and I can't even seen to enjoy that in my messed up state.
