I think, at the end of the day, we all have intuition. We may not be clairvoyant, but we do have intuition aka "gut feelings". I'd say, at the end of the day, if something doesn't feel right, then it's probably not right. If you're calling about an ex or a whatever and your gut says it's just done and over with, then go with that because you are the one that was connected with said individual. You are the one that had your energy intertwined with theirs. Deep down, you already KNOW if something is done or not. If you feel it's done, or will be a very long time before it resumes which I also think we know deep down inside, you'll still call the psychics to get you through it. We all do it. It's understandable. It's a process of pain that has to be worked through.
To be honest, each time my ex would leave Colorado (where I am) and go to Florida, I'd know he was coming back within a few months. But this time around, the moment he walked out the door, I felt this really sick feeling in my stomach unlike the other times. It was different. I felt that I wasn't going to see him again. At least not for a long time, if ever. I felt like our time together had come to an end. At least for now. I have trouble gauging whether or not there will be a true reconnect in person in the future because my emotions are so scattered and there's so much pain that the intuition is blocked out. That's probably what happens to most all of us.
Like now, for example, my gut says he's really feeling absolutely done with zero interest left. I haven't had this feeling before but I have it now. So, regardless of what the psychics say, I have to go with what I feel. I know that I tap into his energy more often than not and I'm not even trying. I can feel his energy shifts. I can feel when it shifts back toward me and I can feel when it's not with me at all. Obviously, it's during the times where it feels like half his energy is with me and half is not when I call the psychics. This time, none of his energy is with me at all. This is the first time this has happened. So for me, I don't really feel like there will be a turn around back toward me. At least not anytime soon. That said, I gotta just keep trying to let go and move on. I'm not going to waste years waiting cause chances are, even if he came back around, it wouldn't be any different and I'd just go through this same thing again and again and again until one of us walks away permanently. I don't feel like there will be any permanent changes and I feel like each time he comes back to me it's for the wrong reasons. It isn't for love, it's because nothing else worked out and that's one of the worst feelings ever.
The psychics say it's because he has feelings for me. I say if he had feelings for me then why keep leaving and why keep exploring other "options"? I don't do that. For me, there was no other option. Anyway, enough of my ramblings. I still love Kisha. She's a great person.
What about your feelings for yourself? None of this is good for you. You are at the point where you know all this in your head but your heart is still hanging on by a thread. He will keep showing up every time he needs to feel better about himself. I had an ex who kept doing this. Walking away completely hurt but it ultimately gave me peace. I had a dream about us one night and when I woke up, I knew that radical acceptance was the way to go and that's what I did. This is how he is, this is the reality of the situation, I have one life and want to be happy so as far as I am concerned I am not fighting or struggling with this any more and he is just another person on the planet. For your own sake, just rip that band-aid off.
Don't call about him. His feelings for you have nothing to do with what is best for you. And neither do your feelings for him.
That's where it gets tough. He is a textbook narcissist, albeit a milder version, but still a narcissist. They have a way of making you really dislike yourself and blame yourself for their behaviors. They find a way to twist and turn and then they make you crazy. Getting out of that cycle is very hard. But the longer he remains cold and stays at a distance, the more I am able to find myself again and fix myself. I really let myself go during that time. I gained a lot of weight etc. At this point, I'm now getting back on track, losing my weight etc. so I can like myself again. I was pretty upset with myself to be honest for a very long time for letting myself deal with this for so long. It's getting better each day that goes by. I suppose he did me a favor by discarding me for the 50th time. This time around has been a more extended period. That's better for me. Someday I will thank him for doing that.
Don't thank him for shit. You are still giving him control. Do
yourself a favor. You're not going to get to the end of your life and have God slip you an extra 15 years because you wasted 15 on this guy. This is it. You are in charge of taking care of yourself, not waiting for him to throw you away so this can possibly go away.
So you can like yourself again? Self-love is at the root of everything. You can gain weight, you can lose weight but you are still you. If you had a child and they gained weight, would you love them less when fat but more when thin? Of course not. You love them unconditionally and want what is best for them. Loving yourself makes you default to making your well-being a priority, and that includes good food choices and putting the fork down when it's time. You don't lose weight and then magically love yourself. That's conditional love, not unconditional love.
There is a lot of parenting of yourself involved in self-love (and self-care) and that can be hard to grasp if you didn't get any to begin with. It's a need you have to meet yourself. No one else is going to give it to you. If you don't fix this and start taking real care of yourself and loving yourself, you will end up in the same situation with another guy.
