Yeah Lightme, I understand what youre saying. I know its been a very long time without contact of any kind. And I do talk to myself on a daily basis about putting it all behind me and moving on. I try to meet other people but everytime some man starts asking me out or acting interested, I seem to just cringe. I did go out with this one man about two months ago and we saw each other every weekend for about a month. Then after an overnight trip, I guess he saw that I wasnt really feeling that much, and I havent heard from him since. Oh well. No great loss, lol. There is just something deep in me that wont let go. Ive tried and tried. Thats why Im considering calling this other lady that has no affiliation to CP at all. She is one of those psychics that has worked on police cases and has the testimonials to back it up. She even had confidential reports that I assume the people signed releases for, that show that she reads medical things too. It showed things diagnosed by physicians after these people had a reading with this lady and she told them to go see their doctor. Shes been right a lot of times.
I did read with Ellen Hartwell also after I read about her from some of our friends here. I was upfront with her, and even told her if he wasnt coming back, I wanted to know that. I just wanted the truth. She swears she sees me getting contact and that he still has feelings but the circumstances are such that he doesnt want to give me hope until he is home again. Like I say, who knows? But it was funny that she told me the same as some of those at CP. I dont know why Im not convinced to just live my life and stop thinking about it but I cant. When I make coffee in the morning, Im reminded of making coffee for us. When I cook, Im reminded of me cooking for him and him cooking for me. It doesnt seem to matter what Im doing, something always makes me think of him. Another funny thing too, Gina Rose in my first reading with her, told me it would be 3 to 4 years. This was two and a half years ago. Then I read with Raziel in the spring. I only asked him to look at love/relationships for me. He immediately said I had met someone within the past 5 yrs. I confirmed and told him it was 3 yrs ago this past March. He said I was in a 5 yr span for things coming to fruition. He described this mans personality, things in his past, lots of stuff that I couldnt deny. He is another that said I would get another chance.
Anyway, Ive decided to read with this new lady and take whatever she tells me and then focus completely on me. At that time, I will most likely come and post what she tells me for you guys, then Im out of here and out of anything that concerns psychics until I see something happen. If and when it does, I will be sure to come back here and report. But I think that is the only way Im going to get past this whole thing.
I know I sound crazy for still loving this man. But I think I honestly found and felt what true love really is, and its very hard to give up on that feeling. To be honest with you all, I dont think I will ever be with anyone else in a serious relationship. I just cant see myself caring for anyone else the way I cared about him. It was and is unconditional love. And thats what we are all looking for.
