the finale to my drama :)

[Baypark1]

I feel like I've been in a drama for the last year! I met this man who is the father of my son's best friend June 2016 and we started talking and hanging out as friends and then got into benefits.  He had recently gotten out of a very bad 5 year relationship and didn't want to rush into anything and wanted friendship most of all. He was in no way ready for commitment.  But there was that strong physical attraction so it was pretty inevitable that the friendship went further.  We also connected strongly on an emotional and spiritual level.   After a few months, I started to develop feelings for him. I knew he was feeling something for me as well, but he was in no way moving forward. So, after researching how to get out of the friends with benefits and get a man to commit (of course I did!) I decided to tell him I couldn't do the benefits part anymore and wanted more. He was clearly upset but it didn't go as all of the articles said it would   He didn't fight for me and it didn't make him commit.  He moved on and found someone 3 weeks later.  I was shocked and hurt. It was then that I started calling psychics and boy did I.  I was obsessed and called so many readers I can't even tell you.  The money I spent was ridiculous. I was out of control.   I found this forum and weeded out the bad readers only focusing on a few of the good ones.  Over the last year, I ended up calling a handful of the ones I thought were good.  Diane731, Aries Intuition, Mystic Raven II, Yona, Friend Sue were all pretty consistent with their predictions and some minor ones actually happened.  When I say minor, I mean like seeing him at an event coming up, type of things.   He continued to see the woman he met after me but ALL the readers said their relationship was financially based, he had no deep feelings for her and she was pretty much a doormat that didn't require anything of him.  This all made total sense to me so I continued to believe the readers.  They all said they would break up and he would be back.  They did break up the end of July.  BUT, he didn't come back.  As  a matter of fact, he actually started seeing another woman who I'm pretty sure was a booty call, for a few weeks while continuing to spend time as friends with his ex.  I had stopped calling Mystic Raven and Friend Sue at this point and Yona I had only read with 3 times.  Diane and Keisha were my two that I contacted when I found out he was seeing someone else and didn't come back. As a matter of fact, he wasn't even making a tiny effort of reestablishing the friendship.   Diane never responded to my email about this and I never talked to her again because I didn't want to spend $110 to find out why she was wrong.  She had been right many times about minor things and definitely got the break up.  The rest of what she said and predicted was wrong. 

As for Keisha, back in April she nailed this guy and even described him.  I only asked her for a general reading.  She gave me numbers which basically ended up being September through January 2018 of things happening.  Again in June, she confirmed the same things.  Gave me numbers that were along the same time frames.  But come August, when I realized he was not coming back, at least not at that time, she started to give me hints that this guy wasn't necessarily the best option for me.  After a few more readings and finally asking her, she flat out said that this guy will never give me what I wanted as far as commitment because he just didn't have it in him.  Not that he's a bad guy, but he wanted what he wanted and didn't want commitment.  It was at this point that I finally let go.  The whole booty call woman thing totally turned me off in addition to continuing to see the ex, regardless if  they were just friends or not, he was possibly leading her on and/or using her which a few people said he was.  I think I was finally just sick of wanting this man.  It only took a year!!!!  OMG  I also started to cut WAY back on my readings which helped me let go.   I was so sick of putting all of my energy into readings, predictions and this guy, I wanted to desperately change.  I did find a tool that helped me look deep into why I couldn't let go of men that rejected me and I've gotten much stronger.    I haven't had a reading in about a month. I do sometimes reach for the phone but then think "why"?  NONE of these people were correct!  There is literally no point in calling.  I'm now just living my life, getting stronger and releasing the crap I've been holding on to, so that I will be ready for the right man to come along. 

As for Keisha's predictions, she said September/October there would be a small shift, then December into February things would be content.  However, as I said, she changed and said this guy would come forward and offer me a relationship but it wouldn't be a committed relationship and wouldn't fullfill me.  So, that may still happen. I don't know.  I don't care.  I don't want the guy anymore.  Although I am curious, probably only because it was such a huge habit for 12 months to constantly think about this guy, I really don't want him.  I feel sorry for him.  He's got a lot of damage and he can't commit to anyone.  That's sad.  He is a nice guy, just not the guy for me.

I read similar stories to mine when I first started calling about this guy.  In my screwed up mind, I convinced myself that it wouldn't happen like that for me.  LOL  well here I am, telling the same story as we've all read numerous times.  12 months wasted and  thousands of dollars wasted.  Do I believe these readers are gifted?  Yes. The ones I mentioned are but for minor things, present things possibly but as for future major predictions, no.  At least not for me. 

I believe 1000% that readings keep us attached and holding on.  They prevent us from moving on.  It was only when I stopped getting so many readings and eventually stopped, that I was finally able to let go completely. 

So many people have said "stop calling and live your life" and it's absolutely 100% true.  Unfortunately, nothing I say will prevent people from going down the same path that I did and so many others did.  I just hope people don't stay on this psychic path of hell for as long as I did.   I also believe that if someone walks away and out of your life, it is for a reason. Maybe the reason has nothing to do with you but for them.  I'm working on me now, to be strong enough that if someone wants to leave my life that I will let them and not stay attached.  It's a horrible feeling that I never want to feel again.

I keep popping in here on occasion and it helps validate that there's no reason to call.  Very few people have major outcomes happen.  VERY FEW.  I honestly don't know if I will ever call another psychic again.  I hope I am never with a man that makes me want to call. 

[sawthelight]

Amazing!  Good for you baypark!  You are an inspiration

[Illumin8]

I have followed your journey for quite some time Baypark, and I know that you tried many times to kick the psychic calling addiction but I think you needed to go through this process with this guy and this scenario to really hit home and begin to heal. I would also recommend taking a look at your attachment style. Google (attachment style in relationships) as from what you have said about the men you have yearned for in the past they may have  had an insecure-avoidant style which will never ever yield the results you need in a secure healthy relationship. But I I have no doubt that you are well onto your way to finding happiness because you have put YOU first. Best of luck in the future. x

[mystery123]

I hope I am never with a man that makes me want to call. 

This.

You are a rockstar for sharing and helping others! I can relate to your post so much! I have had minor predictions come true which are very specific but nothing major, and like I mentioned in other post, some of them are for other people, so when I login to Keen out of addiction and go through the list, I think the same what you said and my will is dying too to call or chat.

I am sure your post will help so many!!
I know some people complain how it's the psychicreview board and that's what you should do, but I feel this forum has a more personal touch to it, as virtually we have become a part of each other's journey and this is a review too of our readings and experiences with psychics.

I wish to go as strong as you are for now! All the best to you with your journey!

[Baypark1]

I have followed your journey for quite some time Baypark, and I know that you tried many times to kick the psychic calling addiction but I think you needed to go through this process with this guy and this scenario to really hit home and begin to heal. I would also recommend taking a look at your attachment style. Google (attachment style in relationships) as from what you have said about the men you have yearned for in the past they may have  had an insecure-avoidant style which will never ever yield the results you need in a secure healthy relationship. But I I have no doubt that you are well onto your way to finding happiness because you have put YOU first. Best of luck in the future. x

In my search to change, I found Susan Anderson, who has a program on how to overcome rejection and abandonment which hit home in the biggest way. YES, I attract men who will hurt and reject me because in a strange way, I'm comfortable with that.   When I find  a man that would give me anything in the world and is perfect for me, I shun away and lose interest because it's NOT comfortable!  When she said that in one of her interviews, I almost cried because that is exactly what I do.  And the men I'm pining over haven't even remotely been good for me   This is all a work in progress. Life is a constant lesson.  Sometimes we have to just go through these times to finally have our eyes opened. 

[Seeker]

Really sorry to hear how long it took, but happy to hear you're overcoming. It's natural to look at yourself as a reason for things going awry because since that other person isn't around to hash it out with you you can only hear your own voice on the matter. I know what it's like, sitting and replaying especially the last moments when you were together, thinking, "did I say or do something that made that person disappear? Should I have done this or that?". I'm all too familiar with that scenario.

Like you, I had to stop beating myself up over what I couldn't control. I began to look at it like this: Suppose I did say or do something that put the person off a bit that day, if their care for me were really strong and real they would look past that and return the way any real friend or loved one would, the way you or I would if we truly cared for that person. Watershed moments like that are a true final exam of the relationship. If a person sees you at your worst and disappears after that they don't belong in your life and their action is telling you so. Seeing you at your worst and still coming back because they accept you is a true sign of loyalty and love, not disappearance. Disappearance certainly isn't loyalty, and what is loyalty without love?

I like the point Still Tired made about POIs having their own personal challenges which can affect the situation. It's a big and important point and one we often ignore because we're so focused on our own feelings and the fairy tale ending. I look at my current POI and realize she has some issues. A beautiful successful woman, certainly, but I knew even when I was around her regularly that she wasn't all there (there were red flags) and her behavior as of late is showing me in bits and pieces that something is not right upstairs with her. The problem for us often is that even knowing that, our heart still wants what it wants. It's like we believe we can either overcome those issues or help/change that person for the better so we're willing to accept that person even while knowing we're probably in for a major challenge.

[doubleoh8]

I like the point Still Tired made about POIs having their own personal challenges which can affect the situation. It's a big and important point and one we often ignore because we're so focused on our own feelings and the fairy tale ending. I look at my current POI and realize she has some issues. A beautiful successful woman, certainly, but I knew even when I was around her regularly that she wasn't all there (there were red flags) and her behavior as of late is showing me in bits and pieces that something is not right upstairs with her. The problem for us often is that even knowing that, our heart still wants what it wants. It's like we believe we can either overcome those issues or help/change that person for the better so we're willing to accept that person even while knowing we're probably in for a major challenge.

I think it may have been me (in another thread today) that made the point about the POI having his/her own challenges and I wanted to elaborate on that a bit. I think the only thing we can really do is look -- and try to heal -- our own stuff. I do believe that when we do that the interest in a POI with too many 'red flags' will wane. I'm not intending to be rude... because I struggle with this same thing... but I think that as long as we stay attracted to someone who isn't returning the interest, and in particular as long as we think maybe we can help/change someone, we still have our own stuff to heal. The help/change piece is one side of the classic co-dependency coin, in fact. There's a weaker person, who appears to need help, and there is a so-called stronger person, who somehow wants/needs to provide that help. In fact this is a control thing... and not truly a strength.

Seeker -- this is what I was going to come back today to say. Like you, I have had a few people not want to fully be with me, but not want to fully walk away. And like you, those people have liked and respected me. But the question I have to ask myself is, why am I accepting people who are not at a place they can give to me? What does that say about me? I think it comes down to self-worth. If I was really convinced of my worth, I would not want to heal/fix/help/wait for someone... So all I'm saying is that while many of our POIs may have massive issues, it might help to focus off their issues and look at ourselves -- why are we pining after people with massive issues in the first place?

[HornetKick]

I think it may have been me (in another thread today) that made the point about the POI having his/her own challenges and I wanted to elaborate on that a bit. I think the only thing we can really do is look -- and try to heal -- our own stuff. I do believe that when we do that the interest in a POI with too many 'red flags' will wane. I'm not intending to be rude... because I struggle with this same thing... but I think that as long as we stay attracted to someone who isn't returning the interest, and in particular as long as we think maybe we can help/change someone, we still have our own stuff to heal. The help/change piece is one side of the classic co-dependency coin, in fact. There's a weaker person, who appears to need help, and there is a so-called stronger person, who somehow wants/needs to provide that help. In fact this is a control thing... and not truly a strength.

Seeker -- this is what I was going to come back today to say. Like you, I have had a few people not want to fully be with me, but not want to fully walk away. And like you, those people have liked and respected me. But the question I have to ask myself is, why am I accepting people who are not at a place they can give to me? What does that say about me? I think it comes down to self-worth. If I was really convinced of my worth, I would not want to heal/fix/help/wait for someone... So all I'm saying is that while many of our POIs may have massive issues, it might help to focus off their issues and look at ourselves -- why are we pining after people with massive issues in the first place?

This just made me chuckle. I know so many people like this and they always point the finger at the other person and their issues, while only one person is carrying the relationship and the stronger one always believe it will get better and things will change. They never look inward as to what is broken within themselves to want to be with a person, not working on the other half of the relationship. I find it sad really.

[Seeker]

I think it may have been me (in another thread today) that made the point about the POI having his/her own challenges and I wanted to elaborate on that a bit. I think the only thing we can really do is look -- and try to heal -- our own stuff. I do believe that when we do that the interest in a POI with too many 'red flags' will wane. I'm not intending to be rude... because I struggle with this same thing... but I think that as long as we stay attracted to someone who isn't returning the interest, and in particular as long as we think maybe we can help/change someone, we still have our own stuff to heal. The help/change piece is one side of the classic co-dependency coin, in fact. There's a weaker person, who appears to need help, and there is a so-called stronger person, who somehow wants/needs to provide that help. In fact this is a control thing... and not truly a strength.

Seeker -- this is what I was going to come back today to say. Like you, I have had a few people not want to fully be with me, but not want to fully walk away. And like you, those people have liked and respected me. But the question I have to ask myself is, why am I accepting people who are not at a place they can give to me? What does that say about me? I think it comes down to self-worth. If I was really convinced of my worth, I would not want to heal/fix/help/wait for someone... So all I'm saying is that while many of our POIs may have massive issues, it might help to focus off their issues and look at ourselves -- why are we pining after people with massive issues in the first place?

I tell ya, your insights go right to the root. I love it. A lot of what you say sounds like the conversations I have in my head on this topic.

I was talking with my brother about this the other day and the question came up, "How can someone respect you if they don't talk to you but are just hovering around in your shadow?' I suppose it's possible, but to your point it's not healthy two-fold: Not for the person and not for you if you're accepting of that arrangement.

Personally, I have no illusions about my love life/history. I like many others have had a ton of bad breaks that have affected the way I see things, some good ways, some not so good. But the biggest issue I face is options. Where I live, there aren't many good options and I'm not a picky person so that gives you a good idea of how dry the well is around here. So in my area, when someone comes along that isn't living in the gutter and is actually doing well and is attractive you try to hold on like you've grabbed the Holy Grail because you know it's going to be a long time until someone as good or better comes along. I won't say it's only that though, I genuinely like the woman, but my feelings are fading as I watch her strange behaviors. I realize she probably can't help it, but that's starting to matter to me less and less each day.

[doubleoh8]

I think it may have been me (in another thread today) that made the point about the POI having his/her own challenges and I wanted to elaborate on that a bit. I think the only thing we can really do is look -- and try to heal -- our own stuff. I do believe that when we do that the interest in a POI with too many 'red flags' will wane. I'm not intending to be rude... because I struggle with this same thing... but I think that as long as we stay attracted to someone who isn't returning the interest, and in particular as long as we think maybe we can help/change someone, we still have our own stuff to heal. The help/change piece is one side of the classic co-dependency coin, in fact. There's a weaker person, who appears to need help, and there is a so-called stronger person, who somehow wants/needs to provide that help. In fact this is a control thing... and not truly a strength.

Seeker -- this is what I was going to come back today to say. Like you, I have had a few people not want to fully be with me, but not want to fully walk away. And like you, those people have liked and respected me. But the question I have to ask myself is, why am I accepting people who are not at a place they can give to me? What does that say about me? I think it comes down to self-worth. If I was really convinced of my worth, I would not want to heal/fix/help/wait for someone... So all I'm saying is that while many of our POIs may have massive issues, it might help to focus off their issues and look at ourselves -- why are we pining after people with massive issues in the first place?

I tell ya, your insights go right to the root. I love it. A lot of what you say sounds like the conversations I have in my head on this topic.

I was talking with my brother about this the other day and the question came up, "How can someone respect you if they don't talk to you but are just hovering around in your shadow?' I suppose it's possible, but to your point it's not healthy two-fold: Not for the person and not for you if you're accepting of that arrangement.

Personally, I have no illusions about my love life/history. I like many others have had a ton of bad breaks that have affected the way I see things, some good ways, some not so good. But the biggest issue I face is options. Where I live, there aren't many good options and I'm not a picky person so that gives you a good idea of how dry the well is around here. So in my area, when someone comes along that isn't living in the gutter and is actually doing well and is attractive you try to hold on like you've grabbed the Holy Grail because you know it's going to be a long time until someone as good or better comes along. I won't say it's only that though, I genuinely like the woman, but my feelings are fading as I watch her strange behaviors. I realize she probably can't help it, but that's starting to matter to me less and less each day.

Yes, well, I suppose I saw a bit of my story in yours. Like you, I'm interested in a relationship that's healthy ... not just any relationship. Good for you for seeing the flags and for not compromising, even though you have limited options. I think for me I've had a fair bit of my own stuff to work through so that -- even though I have had options -- I haven't always made the best choices. Trying to do that now.

Good for you too for seeing that she may not be able to help it; at the end of the day I believe that we're really all just doing out best (even if for some people their best is pretty dysfunctional).

Anyway, I do hope a better option comes along for you soon!

[Universal9]

This is very inspirational indeed. Plus Baypark, you have been just very nice, and have contributed greatly to the forum when it comes to reviewing the psychics as honestly and detailed as possible.
Plus as a tangent, for being honest and sharing your story and helplessness in unable to let go of your poi during the worse times, I saw before that you have had gotten some harsh judgemental comments from a few nasty members of this forum probably not even on here anymore, but the way you conducted yourself in response to their behaviour, and were kind of "thick skinned", remains my inspiration and I strive to learn from it. i.e. to be thick skinned and not react back negatively.

[Baypark1]

This is very inspirational indeed. Plus Baypark, you have been just very nice, and have contributed greatly to the forum when it comes to reviewing the psychics as honestly and detailed as possible.
Plus as a tangent, for being honest and sharing your story and helplessness in unable to let go of your poi during the worse times, I saw before that you have had gotten some harsh judgemental comments from a few nasty members of this forum probably not even on here anymore, but the way you conducted yourself in response to their behaviour, and were kind of "thick skinned", remains my inspiration and I strive to learn from it. i.e. to be thick skinned and not react back negatively.

Aww you're sweet! Its taken me many years to learn diplomacy. I would tear into people really easy. I was very much like that Askrk person. I still do sometimes especially with Comcast lol.

[Universal9]

Comcast indeed LOL!!..

This is very inspirational indeed. Plus Baypark, you have been just very nice, and have contributed greatly to the forum when it comes to reviewing the psychics as honestly and detailed as possible.
Plus as a tangent, for being honest and sharing your story and helplessness in unable to let go of your poi during the worse times, I saw before that you have had gotten some harsh judgemental comments from a few nasty members of this forum probably not even on here anymore, but the way you conducted yourself in response to their behaviour, and were kind of "thick skinned", remains my inspiration and I strive to learn from it. i.e. to be thick skinned and not react back negatively.

Aww you're sweet! Its taken me many years to learn diplomacy. I would tear into people really easy. I was very much like that Askrk person. I still do sometimes especially with Comcast lol.

[candiednut]

This is very inspirational indeed. Plus Baypark, you have been just very nice, and have contributed greatly to the forum when it comes to reviewing the psychics as honestly and detailed as possible.
Plus as a tangent, for being honest and sharing your story and helplessness in unable to let go of your poi during the worse times, I saw before that you have had gotten some harsh judgemental comments from a few nasty members of this forum probably not even on here anymore, but the way you conducted yourself in response to their behaviour, and were kind of "thick skinned", remains my inspiration and I strive to learn from it. i.e. to be thick skinned and not react back negatively.

Aww you're sweet! Its taken me many years to learn diplomacy. I would tear into people really easy. I was very much like that Askrk person. I still do sometimes especially with Comcast lol.

What is Comcast?

[journalmuse]

This is very inspirational indeed. Plus Baypark, you have been just very nice, and have contributed greatly to the forum when it comes to reviewing the psychics as honestly and detailed as possible.
Plus as a tangent, for being honest and sharing your story and helplessness in unable to let go of your poi during the worse times, I saw before that you have had gotten some harsh judgemental comments from a few nasty members of this forum probably not even on here anymore, but the way you conducted yourself in response to their behaviour, and were kind of "thick skinned", remains my inspiration and I strive to learn from it. i.e. to be thick skinned and not react back negatively.

Aww you're sweet! Its taken me many years to learn diplomacy. I would tear into people really easy. I was very much like that Askrk person. I still do sometimes especially with Comcast lol.

What is Comcast?

Comcast is a cable TV and Internet provider in America. People pretty widely hate it for poor customer service. I actually envy you that you don't know what it is, haha.