@star1 agree - I am really on the fence on whether or not I believe in LOA - I kind of don’t more than do - but the matter of “letting go” and detachment as is described in the link I shared *is* something that resonated with me.
And don’t get me wrong - I am not perfect and it is not that I am somehow 100% confident that I’m not going to slip up and fall back into the mindset of worrying and wondering and making a call. I hope I don’t. I really really hope I don’t. But this is how I’m feeling now and I hope it lasts and I hope I can solidify this lesson.
Lots of love your way.
You're only human and you are going to slip up and make mistakes. Otherwise you'd be like God, lol. It's normal to have wobbles and slip up, it's part of our nature. And yes, it sounds more sensible than other LOA. Lots of love back, thank you ♥️
Hi star and flora. I am reading your posts and thought I'd join the conversation about letting go, as it's been quite a challenge for me over many years. Somebody (a virgo - can't remember who now) suggested it is a personality thing. Maybe there's something to that... or maybe it has to do with early experiences, either way once attached to someone it's very hard for me to let go.
That said, I have had a few interesting letting go experiences that have shaped the way I think about LOA.
- In my mid-20's I had a short and passionate relationship with a guy (will call him P) with lots of chemistry and attraction, that ended (long story, originally I pushed him away b/c he was moving too fast, then became super attached when he started seeing someone else). We kept in touch for a while -- I held on for years hoping he'd come back -- and then finally I let go. I moved across the country and got on with my life. A few years later, I got engaged, and out of the blue, P came back around - came to visit me and tried to talk me out of getting married.
- My first ever BF / love (at 17, "D") really broke my heart and I pined for years. He also came back - he comes in and out of my life but he made attempts to really come back and try a relationship again when I fell for someone else. (I.e. when I fell for P, D came back on the scene and that caused some of my trouble with P)
- have had other small ones... but those were kind of major.
My take on the idea of letting go is that it's more energetic / emotional than anything. So, you can go through the motions of focusing on your life (exercise, new job, dating) but if you're holding onto a person emotionally via pining for them, comparing others to them, biding time until they come around, you haven't really let go. In my first example above, the shift was within me. I held onto P through a whole other relationship -- someone I lived with! -- but once I really let go and opened to my husband, I believe P felt that energetically and came back in a way that was more sincere.
One other important point (IMO), is that being MAD at a POI, or feeling hurt and trying to emotionally block them out, saying things like 'I'd never take him back' or 'I want him to feel the way I felt', that's also not letting go. Those are negative emotions that also tie you to the past and stop the flow of what might come in too.
Once you accept what is and live without expectations (which can be really hard) then you're in a let go state and things can come in. For me this includes once I am happy and really liking my life as it is.... but open to what might come in, including someone from the past.
I guess I'm still not sure about one thing, which is, if you really let go in the way I suggest above, can the romance with that person come back. That's not something I've experienced, but I know others have...