turning off my keen account

[sawthelight]

Imagine if your situation is still the same this time next year, if you’re still calling and you have not changed. How would you feel about yourself?

This is huge. Yes, when I think about that I am REVOLTED. Absolutely revolted.

Thanks, Cooper28. Thanks Angelina, thanks Baypark, everyone.

Exactly. That was a huge wake up call for me.

[peppie]

Imagine if your situation is still the same this time next year, if you’re still calling and you have not changed. How would you feel about yourself?

This is huge. Yes, when I think about that I am REVOLTED. Absolutely revolted.

Thanks, Cooper28. Thanks Angelina, thanks Baypark, everyone.

Exactly. That was a huge wake up call for me.

oh i'm so glad you quit calling psychics, too, sawthelight! congrats!

[journalmuse]

We’re at the end of one year and the start of another. Imagine if your situation is still the same this time next year, if you’re still calling and you have not changed. How would you feel about yourself? This is was what did it for me. I have decided to take matters into my own hands and I already feel better for it.

I've had this thought before and it stops me up short, too. But it's always the dream of, two more months to hold on and things will change, then another two, then another two, etc. It's such a cycle.

[peppie]

We’re at the end of one year and the start of another. Imagine if your situation is still the same this time next year, if you’re still calling and you have not changed. How would you feel about yourself? This is was what did it for me. I have decided to take matters into my own hands and I already feel better for it.

I've had this thought before and it stops me up short, too. But it's always the dream of, two more months to hold on and things will change, then another two, then another two, etc. It's such a cycle.

what happens when you think the cycle never ends. in a year, i'm here and nothing's changed. i wasted $X and i'm still in the same place.

that thought alone is bad enough that I am like I can't do it. I can't call again.

[journalmuse]

We’re at the end of one year and the start of another. Imagine if your situation is still the same this time next year, if you’re still calling and you have not changed. How would you feel about yourself? This is was what did it for me. I have decided to take matters into my own hands and I already feel better for it.

I've had this thought before and it stops me up short, too. But it's always the dream of, two more months to hold on and things will change, then another two, then another two, etc. It's such a cycle.

what happens when you think the cycle never ends. in a year, i'm here and nothing's changed. i wasted $X and i'm still in the same place.

that thought alone is bad enough that I am like I can't do it. I can't call again.

Yeah. I'm approaching that point. I've already drastically cut back to a couple readings a month, instead of a couple a week. It's much healthier that way. But I still get into anxious periods where I do a bunch in a row and that's where I trip myself up. I'm still trying to figure out what it is that trips me to go to that place, because if I can figure that out I can deal with it in a better way.

I've begun thinking about every time I want to pay for a reading, instead put it into a savings account that I'll use for a trip next year. I do better when I can be goal-focused like that. Because I can afford the readings I get, it's not bankrupting me or putting me in debt. It's just that it's a waste of money, ultimately, and that's frustrating and demoralizing.

[peppie]

We’re at the end of one year and the start of another. Imagine if your situation is still the same this time next year, if you’re still calling and you have not changed. How would you feel about yourself? This is was what did it for me. I have decided to take matters into my own hands and I already feel better for it.

I've had this thought before and it stops me up short, too. But it's always the dream of, two more months to hold on and things will change, then another two, then another two, etc. It's such a cycle.

what happens when you think the cycle never ends. in a year, i'm here and nothing's changed. i wasted $X and i'm still in the same place.

that thought alone is bad enough that I am like I can't do it. I can't call again.

Yeah. I'm approaching that point. I've already drastically cut back to a couple readings a month, instead of a couple a week. It's much healthier that way. But I still get into anxious periods where I do a bunch in a row and that's where I trip myself up. I'm still trying to figure out what it is that trips me to go to that place, because if I can figure that out I can deal with it in a better way.

I've begun thinking about every time I want to pay for a reading, instead put it into a savings account that I'll use for a trip next year. I do better when I can be goal-focused like that. Because I can afford the readings I get, it's not bankrupting me or putting me in debt. It's just that it's a waste of money, ultimately, and that's frustrating and demoralizing.

i agree and thank you for taking the time to write this. wow - amazing support here that i didn't expect!

[peppie]

thanks angelina. i'm smarter because i don't give myself room to make mistakes. however, in those bad moments i want to call so badly it scares me. i keep then thinking why did i cut up my cards? why did i do this?

it's really overwhelming.

It will get better...one day you won't even care about calling anymore and you'll wonder why you ever did.

It helped me a lot to distance myself from people who drove me to call. People who give a lot of mixed signals, people who gaslight. In my job I couldn't do much about it until circumstances changed but once I no longer had to work for an asshole things got a lot better and I stopped calling so much. Other things I had more choice over though. I had to completely distance myself from my ex for awhile because every little thing he did would upset me. Now it doesn't bother me so much. I stopped talking to some family members for awhile who were upsetting me. I left this forum too for awhile when some of the attitudes were getting to be too much. There was a coworker I used to talk to a lot but then I realized it brought me down so I stopped.

Many things I changed because I realized it was contributing to making me want to call more. All these different situations added up, some small ones and some big ones until I was just so overwhelmed I couldn't deal with it anymore so I would call.

I realized bottom line I spent too much time around people who either got me to doubt myself, or just didn't give much emotional support and sometimes that can make you feel worse than just being alone. It would add up until I just felt desperate for someone to validate me because I was feeling bounced around between all these people who didn't. It is a normal thing that we look for validation and support in our relationships with other people and if it is not coming, or if they invalidate you then it increases the need.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to turn to yourself and look for that validation inside you. It can help if you have someone good to talk to that you can trust, but don't fully rely on it, rely on yourself because other people can never fully understand you like you can yourself. You are the only one who can really see and analyze things from your own perspective. Other people can give valuable perspectives, but no one else will ever be able to give you YOUR perspective.

When we have too much input from others, it can get confusing. What happened for me when I called psychics was a reflection of other relationships in my life, people who were giving me their opinions too much and not listening to my views. People who acted like they knew better. People who didn't empathize with me or acted unfeeling or insensitive to my feelings. People who were gaslighting me or giving me mixed signals or contradictory information. It got to a point where it was just too much. Then I would call readers desperate for some support or validation and a lot of them would just give me the same crap. They would BS me or act patronizing or contradict themselves. It was a pattern and it didn't change for me just by trying to stop calling. I had to look at everything about how I was interacting with people, what I was allowing or putting up with and what I was missing that I was trying to get from calling. I started standing up for myself more to certain people and then others I just stopped talking to because I had enough. And then others I learned to ignore their behavior or just see it as foolishness instead of taking it to heart.

Also, I started having a lot of health problems, and I do not wish this on anyone but it was the ultimate wake up call and I am grateful for it. It pulled my attention away from situations that had been consuming my energy, suddenly I didn't give a rats ass anymore what my ex had to say and I saw just how rotten it was he couldn't even ASK how I was doing especially after I spent so much money trying to find out what was going on with him. Same with various other people, it showed me real fast who cared and who didn't and why should I waste a minute or spend a dime even wondering about someone who doesn't care.

I was unable to work or even take care of myself for awhile and I damn sure wished that I had all the money I spent on readings tucked away in a savings account. I will be okay financially, but it could have been so much worse. I say this because the irony is, we get readings to find out what will happen in the future, when saving that money would be so much better for your future security. Even if you earn a lot, which I don't, far from it, you are better off saving it or putting it to some other practical use, for your own self and for your future. You never know what might happen and the readers don't know either. Calling for predictions is a total waste of money in my experience. There are other reasons to get readings, and sometimes it has helped me a lot but it is still very expensive.

everything you wrote here REALLY resonates with me. thank you so much for taking the time to write this. i can't tell you how much i apprecaite it and yes - it's as if you are writing what i want to say but i don't know how to write it.

i hope things look up for you but i just get the feeling they are... thank you for taking the time to share your experiences. i 100% resonate with this.

[peppie]

You are so welcome peppie, and I am glad it resonates, but in a way sorry too because I wish no one would ever have to be in anything like the situation I have been in. Things are looking up for me though, it does get better.

it has to! i can tell by what you write that you're coming back up. what you've written makes me feel like someone gets it and understands the pressures of dealing with, for example, an asshole boss. and the word gaslighting. i've been using that a LOT with people realizing that when they can't deal with their own issues, they try to make it about YOU and your issues. or they try to question YOU, but it's REALLY THEM.

i love how you are taking a stand for yourself and i am learning how to, too.

there are a lot of shitty people out there who want to hurt other people, esp those who don't hurt other people. but it's good you and i are learning it's THEM not US and that we're learning to set stronger boundaries. there are some really manipulative people out there that will try to invalidate your experiences because they are mean spirited and bullies. i'm learning how to validate myself and how to be able to identify when someone is trying to re-write history for their own purposes. aka blame me for something they have done.

i LOVE what you wrote and it REALLY touched me. thank you.

[peppie]

i'd like to add that calling some psychics makes things worst.

for example, queen of cups18. i think she's a very hurtful person. she uses your doubts and insecurities to hurt you on subsequent calls. a lot of psychics have a few bolts loose.

beware!

[sawthelight]

i'd like to add that calling some psychics makes things worst.

for example, queen of cups18. i think she's a very hurtful person. she uses your doubts and insecurities to hurt you on subsequent calls. a lot of psychics have a few bolts loose.

beware!

I agree with you on QOC. I personally think she’s a very unhappy woman.

[Lyssa]

@Fluttershy and Peppie

I have been exactly where you are at.  I was focused ONLY my ex and psychics and couldn't function. My business was failing, I couldn't pay my bills, I drained my savings and I felt like there was something seriously wrong with me. I would get so anxious I would shake.  It was horrible! 

I don't remember exactly the day it happened, but I started to look back at all of my readings and it really sank in that nothing happened as they said it would.  In  my gut I knew he was never coming back and I had felt this for months.  I felt it but it didn't stop me from getting readings.  One of my last readings with Keisha she told me that this may not be the best for me (this guy) and that when he does come back he won't give me what I wanted and deserved. She actually PM'd me to tell me that even though something may happen, doesn't mean its the best thing for me.  At the same time I was once again realizing that this guy wasn't good for me.  From that point forward I started to cut back on the calls.  I haven't had a reading in over a month. I didn't stop all at once. I went from 10 calls a day, to 5, to 3 to 1 then 3 a week, 1 a week etc.  I got to the point that when I did call, I knew what they were telling me was bullshit.  Why was I calling?  I don't know.  Habit? Addiction?  Who knows. I can't tell you why.  Even now, when I get the urge to call I don't because the urge passes when I remind myself that nothing is going to come of these readings.  I'm wasting my money.

The bottom line for me is I KNEW there was something underlying for the reason I was calling and hanging on to this guy.  I kept searching online for addiction, obsessing over an ex, how to let go etc.  Finally I found Susan Anderson and it resonated with me.  I also started working again from Louise Hays book "You can heal your life". Between the two, I finally go.  I don't obsess anymore nor do I have that craving to call.

Ladies (and gents) this is an addiction.  Bottom line.  At one point I found some 12 step AA worksheets that I did and replaced the alcohol with readings.  I'm also a recovering alcoholic FYI.  I remember when I started getting bad drinking, I would think this isn't normal to drink so much. Its NOT. It's also not normal to call psychics as much as we do.  There is a underlying reason you do and you have to figure out what that it. For me, it was lack of self worth and abandonment/rejection issues.  You will have to find your reason but I guarantee there is a reason and it's not that you're just crazy.  You're not.  Remind yourself of these things and keep repeating them to yourself 1000 times a day if you have to.

1) I do not have to call at this minute - Just for today, I will not call (if you have to say "just for this minute, I do not have to call" then do it)
2) Nothing has come true from these readings (nothing substantial)
3) You've spent HOW much money?  (count it up if you have to. I didn't do that, I was too scared to know)
4) He's not coming back  PERIOD  (If he was coming back, he'd be here already) This one is a hard one because it hurts like hell at first. You're finally admitting it's over
5) I am worthy of more
6) Ask God (or whoever your higher power is) for strength to not call but to believe in him  (I didn't mention God in my healing but he did help. I finally broke down and admitted I wasn't trusting him but wanted to so bad and needed help)

This is what helped me.  I was highly addicted to readings.  One month I spent $4000. In ONE MONTH.  Thats why I won'd add up what I've spent. I would probably kill myself if I did

You both know you have a problem and you both want to stop.  That's your first step.  Bravo!!!


You make some great points. But don't be too hard on yourself. I really think being abandoned by someone we love and trust SHOULD hurt. We are the normal ones. The ones who are not capable of causin someone else so much pain, especially when it is a long term committed relationship. There is nothing wrong with being devastated when someone abandons you. Honestly, the abandoner is probably the one with more issues........ (being a psychopath?) lol it is more normal to have a strong emotional reaction to rejection and abandonment than it is to say be totally fine the next day in my opinion. It shows that people who are important to you are REALLY IMPORTANT to you and you don't believe in just throwing relationships that took years to build  away. Honestly, I don't understand how people who are capable of just walking away from someone like they never meant anything could ever be happy... with that said, there has to be other people out there who aren't such stupid ass holes, who truly value the foundation, love, and connection that they build with people.

Sorry, random rant, but seriously I just don't understand people and how they can do these horrible things to the people that they "love."

This is my experience with the ex I spent 6 years with. It took me a long time and a lot of therapy and some good psychics to show me that it is not my fault. Maybe my fault for loving someone who I didn't think was capable of treating me the way he ended up doing. I do blame myself for that, if I could have seen it, I should have walked away long before I wasted my 20s on this person.

Sorry for the rant! It's nice to be here where so many people can at least understand what I am going through, even though I wish none of us did!

[peppie]

two weeks clean...

it's easier not to call when you haven't called.

[Beesa]

two weeks clean...

it's easier not to call when you haven't called.

Amen, Peppie. Congrats!  You've got this. You know the truth, these strangers just know some details, but nothing that's a game changer. You don't need that, none of us do!!!!

[peppie]

two weeks clean...

it's easier not to call when you haven't called.

Amen, Peppie. Congrats!  You've got this. You know the truth, these strangers just know some details, but nothing that's a game changer. You don't need that, none of us do!!!!

yup! and I am a month clean now. I feel better

AWESOME KR!

I almost capitulated today but changed my mind. Man! It sneaks up on you those cravings!

[whskers]

Happy to report I closed my keen account today. Yay! Feels so good 😍