I absolutely and 100% can relate to you on this.
Getting readings often times does the exact opposite than prepare us for what will happen, and that's even worse than not knowing. Unfortunately we really just aren't intended to know everything that will manifest in our lives, good or bad.
Only time will tell you what will happen, and also what feels impossible to make it through now, will later pass and you WILL be ok. I've had to learn this many times...
Don't waste any more money. It will not change the outcome of your situation and will only frustrate you more if you spend thousands of dollars to be told things that don't even happen. That happened to me and absolutely nothing good came from it.