Author Topic: Major step to separation and refocus  (Read 2104 times)

Offline Seeker

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Major step to separation and refocus
« on: October 25, 2017, 04:04:01 PM »
Even though I know my POI is lurking and reading (and sometimes liking) everything I post on the social media site we share membership, I came to reason within myself that even being at the site was a waste of my time. It was keeping me preoccupied on a pointless endeavor. What good is it to be posting things at a site where tons of people read but never say a word? I have family members and friends who don't even speak on my posts, they just read, so what the heck is the point?

My POI sent out an alert about a life anniversary of hers. When these alerts are sent, everyone connected gets them and you can either message the person a congrats or give them a like. I've chosen to do neither. I thought to myself, why should I even acknowledge her existence if all she can do in return is lurk in the shadows like some weirdo? I'm not here to provide free entertainment.

I have logged out of the site, and whenever I do that on a site I never go back except to delete myself permanently.

I don't know why my POI's name keeps coming up in obscure situations. I don't know why it's happened over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again... and I no longer care. It's been 6 months. This doesn't deserve any more of my precious time. If any of the psychic's predictions ever come true it will have to happen while I'm no longer caring, and at this point I don't even want this person anymore. It would take a legendary act of convincing to change my mind now. I deserve better or nothing at all, but I certainly don't deserve what I've gotten.

In short, I'm done... and it feels pretty good. I've been neglecting some very important things and now that I've broken free of the nonsense, I can refocus my efforts on the important.

Offline Universal9

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Re: Major step to separation and refocus
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2017, 05:07:19 PM »
I do think it is weird and honestly, disrespectful to you to not respond to your message in kind. It is not about her reading and liking to your posts or about lurking around. The thing is, none of these things matter i.e. the superficial things like social media posts, or any activity on social media like anniversary (liking or not liking) the posts; all these are very superficial.

What matters for you is to get a meaningful concrete response to your message to her and you did not. That is disrespecting you/your feelings in my viewpoint and should be taken seriously. You deserve a response atleast good or bad or atleast an acknowlegement that the message was recieved. No need to give her the benefit of the doubt here on her past. Again I assume she is not someone you have hurt before.
Its shallow to just lurk around and not replying to your message; it's weird!
My honest opinion would be to leave this thing alone and not get yourself anymore frustrated.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2017, 05:12:24 PM by Universal9 »

Offline Seeker

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Re: Major step to separation and refocus
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2017, 05:36:20 PM »
I don't even care about her responding anymore. I definitely never hurt her. She was an angel in my eyes, but unfortunately, I see now that her wings are damaged. I ignored a number of red flags, but looking back on those plus her behavior the past 6 months, I've finally reached a point where I'm able to accept that she has some deep issues and she is not over her past hurts which is why (as she told me) she is afraid of relationships.

As for the social media stuff, all of these things are superficial until they become real 1 to 1 contact, but the way I see it is... it wasn't the simple act of her lurking, or reading, or liking, it's the fact of her doing all those things while never having answered the message; that's what made her actions strange. If you remove the message from the equation, those actions would've all been normal, but the message changed that dynamic. It was akin to going about your day as normal while a 2 ton elephant is sitting in the room. As you said, it's a weird thing to do. I should also point out the even deeply stranger part: She actually accepted the social media connection AFTER the message was sent. It wasn't as if I connected and then messaged her, the message came first, so think about how crazy THAT is... (and I only sent it that way because I didn't know what account features she had, so I figured if she couldn't reply to the message directly due to account restrictions when not connected to me, she could connect and then be able to do it).

But it's like DoubleOh8 said, some people see a value for themselves in being connected with a person even though they're not willing to work and overcome their own personal challenges to be a real presence in that connection's life. I believe Doubleoh8 nailed that one square. She's a still budding success and I'm an Executive in my field, so I can see her thinking there, except even that's strange because with her never responding to the message I don't know what she thinks my view of her would be if it came time to do business.

"My honest opinion would be to leave this thing alone and not get yourself anymore frustrated."

Well, frustration is over. I've actually been past that point for a while now. My last stage was confusion but I'm no longer caring enough to be confused anymore.

To reiterate, I'm done. I'll still be coming back here, but I won't be doing anything more at that site or doing any more concerning her contact. It just doesn't matter to me anymore.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2017, 06:01:57 PM by Seeker »

 

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