advice/tips for someone who wants to stop calling!

[peppie]

i've realized nobody can help you better than those who have suffered through it. i actually tried to talk to someone more professional about my bad calling habits but i notice people really don't understand and it's quite embarrasing to even try to explain what this problem is. finally, it's viewed as something very very bad psychologically and i don't need somebody looking at me like i'm a freak show.

for those of you who stopped after persisting calling, you can write down what helped you to stop and how you cope?

[Baypark1]

i've realized nobody can help you better than those who have suffered through it. i actually tried to talk to someone more professional about my bad calling habits but i notice people really don't understand and it's quite embarrasing to even try to explain what this problem is. finally, it's viewed as something very very bad psychologically and i don't need somebody looking at me like i'm a freak show.

for those of you who stopped after persisting calling, you can write down what helped you to stop and how you cope?

For me, i had to seriously look at the reason I was calling and then focused on why I couldn't stop obsessing and calling. It took a very long time to get to this point. Basically, nothing ever came true from the readings and I was so miserable, I desperately wanted to change. I started working on myself and trusting God instead of psychics. Its not easy to stop and I fell back into it many times. I would go a little bit without calling and would start feeling better, then I would call again and get sucked right back into the pattern. I would suggest trying to figure out what is making you hang on which leads to calling. Then start trying to change it. Its not normal to call psychics all the time. Its not normal to obsess about something and not let go. The admittance of that is what started my healing.  And yes, its healing

[peppie]

Before that I thought if I kept trying one day I would find the right reader. Now I realize even the best ones are prone to mixing things up and it is dangerous to rely on anything they say.

I also made myself read through notes I had taken on past calls, embarrassing though it was to see how many calls I made and how ridiculous some of the readings were, that I paid good money for and got little or nothing out of. ...And reading it again made me realize how wrong they were, how wasteful it was and just how much I was out of my mind to even listen to it much less pay for such garbage.

Yes... this helps me... I mean I have pages and pages of notes. PAGES. what's helpful is that in this current situation I am in I noticed peopel who said something before were saying the same thing exactly again but they were wrong last time. It made me dump those readers and really understand that finding a reader who is actually right is pretty rare. I think I'll do what you said.

[peppie]

... I couldn't stop obsessing and calling. It took a very long time to get to this point. Basically, nothing ever came true from the readings and I was so miserable, I desperately wanted to change.

I'm at this point now. The worst part is I feel I can't tell anyone. Like I stated I told someone "more professional", but that was a more ostricizing and hurtful experience more than anything else and I won't do it again.

I think the reason I do it is because I am in such a bad situation and I have no option to leave so I live in persistent fear of what's going to happen. I know I should just "let go and let God", but there's that notion that if I know what someone is going to do I can stay a step ahead and protect myself.

If you have any more advice about what worked for you, Baypark, please keep 'em coming.

Oh and thanks

[Baypark1]

... I couldn't stop obsessing and calling. It took a very long time to get to this point. Basically, nothing ever came true from the readings and I was so miserable, I desperately wanted to change.

I'm at this point now. The worst part is I feel I can't tell anyone. Like I stated I told someone "more professional", but that was a more ostricizing and hurtful experience more than anything else and I won't do it again.

I think the reason I do it is because I am in such a bad situation and I have no option to leave so I live in persistent fear of what's going to happen. I know I should just "let go and let God", but there's that notion that if I know what someone is going to do I can stay a step ahead and protect myself.

If you have any more advice about what worked for you, Baypark, please keep 'em coming.

Not.ONE person in my life knows I've called psychics so I understand.

Since I don't know your whole.situation, I don't really know what to suggest. If you're in a bad situation, there must be something you can do to get out.  If not physically then emotionall meaning accept what it is and try and move on. No situation is forever. We control how we react and our decisions. Regardless of what the situation is, you need to put YOU first. Your emotional and spiritual wellbeing. YOU need to be the most important person in your life, so you have to figure out how you can change it, even if its a simple thing like changing a reaction. It sounds like you have " hit bottom" so now the only way is up and that is a good thing because it forces you to make changes for the better. You just have to figure out what those changes are

[peppie]

Not.ONE person in my life knows I've called psychics so I understand.

Since I don't know your whole.situation, I don't really know what to suggest. If you're in a bad situation, there must be something you can do to get out.  If not physically then emotionall meaning accept what it is and try and move on. No situation is forever. We control how we react and our decisions. Regardless of what the situation is, you need to put YOU first. Your emotional and spiritual wellbeing. YOU need to be the most important person in your life, so you have to figure out how you can change it, even if its a simple thing like changing a reaction. It sounds like you have " hit bottom" so now the only way is up and that is a good thing because it forces you to make changes for the better. You just have to figure out what those changes are

thanks, Baypark . It's good to have a place where other people understand. hitting rock bottom is not always so bad.

[joq122]

I know how you feel Peppie. I’m here waiting for things to pan out with the psychics predictions. I’ve been contacting these psychics for 2 years now. But I’ve finally come to an understanding that I just have to accept that maybe this girl & I are just not meant to be. It’s apt easier said than done. I wish her nothing but the best though. Just keep moving. Pick up a hobby. Lately I’ve been painting just to keep myself busy. I hope you get through your situation & always have hope. Hope in yourself to get through this not in the predictions. Live for today because tomorrow is never promised.

[doubleoh8]

... I couldn't stop obsessing and calling. It took a very long time to get to this point. Basically, nothing ever came true from the readings and I was so miserable, I desperately wanted to change.

I'm at this point now. The worst part is I feel I can't tell anyone. Like I stated I told someone "more professional", but that was a more ostricizing and hurtful experience more than anything else and I won't do it again.

I think the reason I do it is because I am in such a bad situation and I have no option to leave so I live in persistent fear of what's going to happen. I know I should just "let go and let God", but there's that notion that if I know what someone is going to do I can stay a step ahead and protect myself.

If you have any more advice about what worked for you, Baypark, please keep 'em coming.

Oh and thanks

Peppie,

I don't want to read in between the lines, but if you are in any kind of abusive situation you should really get out. And regardless of the nature of the difficult situation, there are people on this forum who are really here for you. Great for you for reaching out this way and don't hesitate to ask people here -- either in the group format or individually -- for help if you need it.

For me, I have slowed down calling dramatically after hitting my own rock bottom of sorts. Basically I ran out of money -- for real. And I went through a LOT. More than I am comfortable admitting and it really shocked and scared me when I got to a place where I was in real economic distress. The good thing, though, was that stopping calling for long enough really helped me in a lot of ways. I got some of my power back, started to trust my own intuition again, started living in reality and not a fantasy, got a handle on my anxiety (that was building as a result of too many readings, and had to reflect on why I had become so dependent on calling. All that to say, however you can do it -- stop calling for as long as you can! If you have lost control of it, it has become a habit and you need to break it, and once you do you will feel so much better.

I agree 100% with Baypark, that it's an opportunity to look at the reasons underlying why we call psychics for advice. For me, sometimes calling was actually a way to avoid looking at those underlying issues. A lot has to do with control -- feeling like I don't have any. I can't remember who said it, but accepting that and letting go of control was also helpful.

Good luck peppie and keep reaching out when you need to.

[Baypark1]

One thing I did when I finally was ready to stop was not only work on cleaning the crap within but cleaning out my house. For 3 years I was focused on my ex who screwed my life royally and this POI I had been calling about for a YEAR! I called as well with the ex. Pretty much thats all I thought about. So I started with my bathroom drawers and then ended up painting. It felt good to focus on me and what would make ME feel good. Every part of my house was a mess (hidden behind the doors   I am one that loves organization and things neat and tidy.  As I cleaned out my cabinets, drawers and closets, I started to feel stronger and more in control of my life and I felt good. I read somewhere that cleaning out is very good for putting the past behind you and it worked for me. 

Maybe you can try it!. Im sure your sock drawer or closet can use an overhaul If you're.OCD and your house is perfect then paint a room

[Baypark1]

I just read this thread. Its an older thread but damn, if this doesn't make you want to stop calling, get control of your life and heal yourself, I don't know what will. 

I am available for anyone that needs to talk and wants to stop this addiction

http://www.thepsychicreviews.com/forum/index.php/topic,1499.0.html

[peppie]

One thing I did when I finally was ready to stop was not only work on cleaning the crap within but cleaning out my house. For 3 years I was focused on my ex who screwed my life royally and this POI I had been calling about for a YEAR! I called as well with the ex. Pretty much thats all I thought about. So I started with my bathroom drawers and then ended up painting. It felt good to focus on me and what would make ME feel good. Every part of my house was a mess (hidden behind the doors   I am one that loves organization and things neat and tidy.  As I cleaned out my cabinets, drawers and closets, I started to feel stronger and more in control of my life and I felt good. I read somewhere that cleaning out is very good for putting the past behind you and it worked for me. 

Maybe you can try it!. Im sure your sock drawer or closet can use an overhaul If you're.OCD and your house is perfect then paint a room

I love this. I've gotten rid of all my stuff over the past couple of years, but I find I'm always behind in housekeeping because of the obsession... do you know how tiring obsession is? It's exhausting.

Thanks - I really do love these suggestions.

[peppie]

For me, I have slowed down calling dramatically after hitting my own rock bottom of sorts. Basically I ran out of money -- for real. And I went through a LOT. More than I am comfortable admitting and it really shocked and scared me when I got to a place where I was in real economic distress.

I understand this all too well. I'm pretty much here.

No, it's not an abusive relationship but I don't want to say what it is.

I'm so glad there are other people on here who understand. This is a good place to vent and people understand...

[mystery123]

For me it was realizing that I can’t do anything to change my situation so I just have to let it be.. I can’t cry enough, call psychics enough, plead enough or pray enough to change other person. I  accepted that it’s over.. It was and is so painful still. Sometimes i feel crippled with fear of future but then I slowly tell myself in my head it’s going to be okay, it’s safe to let him go, it’s okay to let him go, i am okay.. just kind of baby talk myself..

When the desire of that other person will die or what happens next dies the willingness to call will also start fading.

I also used to get cravings to call or chat then I would go over old transcripts and just realizing that all the glorious Aprils and Junes and Augusts just came and passed by used to turn me off a little from getting readings.

I would applaud myself for getting just one reading in two days instead of calling 15 readers per day liek before.

Just think it’s a process— you are healing from your situation and also from calling psychics. Treat it like any other addiction. Accept it, sweettalk yourself because no one else will, don’t push yourself to quit, just treat yourself with love as you would treat a friend.

I had to see the addicted person in me as a thirs person  and be nice to that person and help reduce the addiction.. because like you no one around me also knows that i call or believe in psychics. So had to do it myself

[peppie]

For me it was realizing that I can’t do anything to change my situation so I just have to let it be.. I can’t cry enough, call psychics enough, plead enough or pray enough to change other person. I  accepted that it’s over.. It was and is so painful still. Sometimes i feel crippled with fear of future but then I slowly tell myself in my head it’s going to be okay, it’s safe to let him go, it’s okay to let him go, i am okay.. just kind of baby talk myself..

When the desire of that other person will die or what happens next dies the willingness to call will also start fading.

I also used to get cravings to call or chat then I would go over old transcripts and just realizing that all the glorious Aprils and Junes and Augusts just came and passed by used to turn me off a little from getting readings.

I would applaud myself for getting just one reading in two days instead of calling 15 readers per day liek before.

Just think it’s a process— you are healing from your situation and also from calling psychics. Treat it like any other addiction. Accept it, sweettalk yourself because no one else will, don’t push yourself to quit, just treat yourself with love as you would treat a friend.

I had to see the addicted person in me as a thirs person  and be nice to that person and help reduce the addiction.. because like you no one around me also knows that i call or believe in psychics. So had to do it myself

thank you so much. i really like the tips you gave.

i also like you stating we need to be nice to that person... kind to ourselves... i need to work on that

[HornetKick]

For me it was realizing that I can’t do anything to change my situation so I just have to let it be.. I can’t cry enough, call psychics enough, plead enough or pray enough to change other person. I  accepted that it’s over.. It was and is so painful still. Sometimes i feel crippled with fear of future but then I slowly tell myself in my head it’s going to be okay, it’s safe to let him go, it’s okay to let him go, i am okay.. just kind of baby talk myself..

When the desire of that other person will die or what happens next dies the willingness to call will also start fading.

I also used to get cravings to call or chat then I would go over old transcripts and just realizing that all the glorious Aprils and Junes and Augusts just came and passed by used to turn me off a little from getting readings.

I would applaud myself for getting just one reading in two days instead of calling 15 readers per day liek before.

Just think it’s a process— you are healing from your situation and also from calling psychics. Treat it like any other addiction. Accept it, sweettalk yourself because no one else will, don’t push yourself to quit, just treat yourself with love as you would treat a friend.

I had to see the addicted person in me as a thirs person  and be nice to that person and help reduce the addiction.. because like you no one around me also knows that i call or believe in psychics. So had to do it myself

thank you so much. i really like the tips you gave.

i also like you stating we need to be nice to that person... kind to ourselves... i need to work on that

So true. Even the small victories are still victories. Give yourself pats on the backs when you aren't calling as much, in particular knowing and recognizing there is an addiction. That's the first and biggest step. We all do the best we can under the circumstances and beating yourself up only does more harm than good.