Went on a Keen bender last night

[jas]

UGH....why do I do this to myself.  So I was having what I thought was a bit of a problem at work..felt certain my job was in jeopardy.  Right before I left work yesterday my boss said we needed to have a meeting...I was scared.  So I came home and went on a very expensive run on Keen last night.  I called several asking what was going to happen.  Only two got it right - Soulful Journeys and Psychic Jedi.  SJ actually laughed at me she said "meetings are normal, this is a good thing, why are you letting it flip you out.  I see this meeting going very well and it will result in you being happy." Jedi basically told me the same.  EVERYBODY else said there were problems and I would be taken to task...actual exact words of Sincerity (she is off my list now)  The meeting went very well and I am very relaxed tonight.  It couldn't have gone any better, yet I wasted HUNDREDS of DOLLARS last night and spent a restless night in bed because of what so many of them told me.  I hope I have learned my lesson and can now just call one or two when I am having a meltdown. 

Does anyone else on here do anything like this?

[Kate]

UGH....why do I do this to myself.  So I was having what I thought was a bit of a problem at work..felt certain my job was in jeopardy.  Right before I left work yesterday my boss said we needed to have a meeting...I was scared.  So I came home and went on a very expensive run on Keen last night.  I called several asking what was going to happen.  Only two got it right - Soulful Journeys and Psychic Jedi.  SJ actually laughed at me she said "meetings are normal, this is a good thing, why are you letting it flip you out.  I see this meeting going very well and it will result in you being happy." Jedi basically told me the same.  EVERYBODY else said there were problems and I would be taken to task...actual exact words of Sincerity (she is off my list now)  The meeting went very well and I am very relaxed tonight.  It couldn't have gone any better, yet I wasted HUNDREDS of DOLLARS last night and spent a restless night in bed because of what so many of them told me.  I hope I have learned my lesson and can now just call one or two when I am having a meltdown. 

Does anyone else on here do anything like this?

There is a lesson here in how to be a good boss!  I manage staff, and if I had to have a meeting with any of them, I would let them know there and then the essence of the meeting, rather than let them sweat it out over night, or worst still, over the weekend!

I think you should walk around telling yourself 24/7 that you are an amazing employee!

The other readers "may" have been picking up on your fear.  I remember having a conversation with LoL on this - she told me never to call a psychic when I was in a very fearful space (which is all of us right!?) because it is possible to pick up on emotions that  can affect the read.

[jas]

Thanks Kate, you made great points.  My boss left me hanging overnight, all for nothing.  Glad to hear that you don't do that to your staff.

[candy1]

UGH....why do I do this to myself.  So I was having what I thought was a bit of a problem at work..felt certain my job was in jeopardy.  Right before I left work yesterday my boss said we needed to have a meeting...I was scared.  So I came home and went on a very expensive run on Keen last night.  I called several asking what was going to happen.  Only two got it right - Soulful Journeys and Psychic Jedi.  SJ actually laughed at me she said "meetings are normal, this is a good thing, why are you letting it flip you out.  I see this meeting going very well and it will result in you being happy." Jedi basically told me the same.  EVERYBODY else said there were problems and I would be taken to task...actual exact words of Sincerity (she is off my list now)  The meeting went very well and I am very relaxed tonight.  It couldn't have gone any better, yet I wasted HUNDREDS of DOLLARS last night and spent a restless night in bed because of what so many of them told me.  I hope I have learned my lesson and can now just call one or two when I am having a meltdown. 

Does anyone else on here do anything like this?

Yes.... I've done this on many occasions... Sigh

[Baypark1]

I binged for a whole freaking month one time.  I spent $4000! I couldn't believe it when I added it up.  The shame, remorse and guilt I felt was incredible.  I was in such a desperate and fearful state having to know something, that I just kept calling and calling.  The more I called, the more I called. 

[whskers]

UGH....why do I do this to myself.  So I was having what I thought was a bit of a problem at work..felt certain my job was in jeopardy.  Right before I left work yesterday my boss said we needed to have a meeting...I was scared.  So I came home and went on a very expensive run on Keen last night.  I called several asking what was going to happen.  Only two got it right - Soulful Journeys and Psychic Jedi.  SJ actually laughed at me she said "meetings are normal, this is a good thing, why are you letting it flip you out.  I see this meeting going very well and it will result in you being happy." Jedi basically told me the same.  EVERYBODY else said there were problems and I would be taken to task...actual exact words of Sincerity (she is off my list now)  The meeting went very well and I am very relaxed tonight.  It couldn't have gone any better, yet I wasted HUNDREDS of DOLLARS last night and spent a restless night in bed because of what so many of them told me.  I hope I have learned my lesson and can now just call one or two when I am having a meltdown. 

Does anyone else on here do anything like this?

Ask for satisfaction guarantee saying the predictions didn't happen!

[sunshineluv7]

The more I called, the more I called - this. Once you pop, you can't stop. And there is no exchange of money so we don't feel we are actually giving anything up to "get" which is part of why it's so dangerous financially.  That's why finance coaches recommend switched to catch, so we "feel" the purchases we make. And have to actually give something away to get something.

They say that's the psychology of credit cards, too. With cards, you give it, they swipe, you get it back. Same psychology of not having "given" anything. Makes it way too easy for emotions to override logic with psychic binges..

The bottom line if it is about a relationship, is they don't want what we want. Not now, maybe not ever, maybe next week, maybe in a year. But we call to find out why, when.

Does it truly matter if it does happen next week or next year? No, because your reality is in the now. Today. Right now.

And now. And now. And now. The more we think about the past or desire the future the less we are present and the more we hurt ourselves.

Get present. Accept whatever situation you are currently in. Then ask yourself does the current situation require any action on your part right now to handle it. Could you do anything to make it better (like... try talking to the person). No? Then you've done all you can do. If it doesn't require action, your only job is to accept it. That's all it is - a situation. But the more you refuse to accept it for what it is, the more it will bother you and distract you from living your best life, right now.

And go read The Power of Now.

[njlady]

I went on a binge in April after an upsetting incident.  I didn't call multiple times in a day, but I spent about $1,000.00 total.  I was really pissed at myself. 

[sunshineluv7]

I've done that several times. And at the end of the month when I do my finances I say holy shit, $1200 on readings? REALLY? But, the money is gone. And so I haven't dwelled on it. I've just been thankful that I've been able to scrape by even with a pretty successful career, but I should be so much better off financially than I am currently because of this "coping habit" I fell into.

And then I remember something one of the biggest personal finance people said, which is it's really hard to get your personal finances on track when you have a broken heart. I was like - hell. yah. Unfortunately, I seemed to want to stay in these hot and cold will he / wont he situations.

For me, I wanted so badly for it to have a "happy" ending, or continuance, that I didn't want to "end" it from my end. I didn't want to just close the door (on someone who disappeared, or didn't treat me well). I didn't want all the friends to be right when they said "you should just move on" and "he's a jerk". I wanted the psychics who said "he'll be back" to be right. And when I'd lose hope or faith I'd call again to get reassurance, have someone to talk to who wouldn't judge me. And I did have a therapist, too, it just wasn't the same.

And they were right, in the long run. He did come back.... but never in the way that I wanted. That I really needed, in a way that made my heart happy, never at the same level that it was at when it was "good". I wanted to be those stories where the person comes back, and they work it out, and get married. You know? The exception. That's what I hoped for.

Maybe, it's what all of us who come here, secretly hope for. That we can be the exception. That our story is different. That our guy, our connection with the guy (or girl!) was and is special, is really different, it's not what it looks like, it was real, we weren't fooled, we didn't get played, we didn't waste all of our time.

...but sometimes people just... well, suck. And sometimes the best they can do, isn't even close to what's good enough for you.

Here's the thing though. Life does go on. It does get better. But you have to shift your focus and actively seek out and find things that will make you happy - and make it NOT about a relationship. And make big changes if you have to.

I can likely bet you (general, not specifically to anyone here) that the reason you are seeking so much from someone else happiness wise is because you are missing something within yourself. That the reason you want to know so much about what happens tomorrow is because when you really think about it, you don't like your TODAY. So you want out of TODAY by hearing about tomorrow.

I'm now in a place where I've basically closed the door on dating completely. And I'm 100% okay with it. I'd just rather not be hurt, not put myself out there, not have another guy get my hopes up and then disappear. The last guy (not the original guy), I really do hope he comes back, but I'm also pursuing something down a completely different road, that I will be pretty happy about if he does come back or doesn't.  Sad and disappointed if he never does? Sure. But hey, that's life. It doesn't always work out in our favor. *Especially* when you're relying or counting on someone else for something!

That's why it's so special when it finally does happen. <3 And love and support comes in all forms - not just romantically. Friends, family. For me personally, I finally learned that if it hurts to touch a hot burner - you stop touching the hot burner!!! LOL

<3

[whskers]

I'm with you sunshineluv7. I'm glad i have a successful career to fuel all these readings.  But since i won't travel as much for work anymore, I'm seriously thinking about getting a part time job this holiday season just to get back all the money i spent on calling psychics.

[sawthelight]

I've done that several times. And at the end of the month when I do my finances I say holy shit, $1200 on readings? REALLY? But, the money is gone. And so I haven't dwelled on it. I've just been thankful that I've been able to scrape by even with a pretty successful career, but I should be so much better off financially than I am currently because of this "coping habit" I fell into.

And then I remember something one of the biggest personal finance people said, which is it's really hard to get your personal finances on track when you have a broken heart. I was like - hell. yah. Unfortunately, I seemed to want to stay in these hot and cold will he / wont he situations.

For me, I wanted so badly for it to have a "happy" ending, or continuance, that I didn't want to "end" it from my end. I didn't want to just close the door (on someone who disappeared, or didn't treat me well). I didn't want all the friends to be right when they said "you should just move on" and "he's a jerk". I wanted the psychics who said "he'll be back" to be right. And when I'd lose hope or faith I'd call again to get reassurance, have someone to talk to who wouldn't judge me. And I did have a therapist, too, it just wasn't the same.

And they were right, in the long run. He did come back.... but never in the way that I wanted. That I really needed, in a way that made my heart happy, never at the same level that it was at when it was "good". I wanted to be those stories where the person comes back, and they work it out, and get married. You know? The exception. That's what I hoped for.

Maybe, it's what all of us who come here, secretly hope for. That we can be the exception. That our story is different. That our guy, our connection with the guy (or girl!) was and is special, is really different, it's not what it looks like, it was real, we weren't fooled, we didn't get played, we didn't waste all of our time.

...but sometimes people just... well, suck. And sometimes the best they can do, isn't even close to what's good enough for you.

Here's the thing though. Life does go on. It does get better. But you have to shift your focus and actively seek out and find things that will make you happy - and make it NOT about a relationship. And make big changes if you have to.

I can likely bet you (general, not specifically to anyone here) that the reason you are seeking so much from someone else happiness wise is because you are missing something within yourself. That the reason you want to know so much about what happens tomorrow is because when you really think about it, you don't like your TODAY. So you want out of TODAY by hearing about tomorrow.

I'm now in a place where I've basically closed the door on dating completely. And I'm 100% okay with it. I'd just rather not be hurt, not put myself out there, not have another guy get my hopes up and then disappear. The last guy (not the original guy), I really do hope he comes back, but I'm also pursuing something down a completely different road, that I will be pretty happy about if he does come back or doesn't.  Sad and disappointed if he never does? Sure. But hey, that's life. It doesn't always work out in our favor. *Especially* when you're relying or counting on someone else for something!

That's why it's so special when it finally does happen. <3 And love and support comes in all forms - not just romantically. Friends, family. For me personally, I finally learned that if it hurts to touch a hot burner - you stop touching the hot burner!!! LOL

<3

Great post!!

[sunshineluv7]

My binges were never ... like more than $50 a pop. Sometimes I'd end up on a $100 call if it was a favorite reader. But to me and at my income level (which I've very fortunate to have), I really didn't think twice about spending $50 or $100 here or there. I just wasn't thinking rationally because I was so upset about how many times I was doing it...  it only takes 10 calls at $100 to reach $1000. or 20 at $50.  But for me on the bad month it would go like this:

I'd have one reader who i thought was great who would become like a mom figure (i didn't really have a healthy mom figure in my life), and end up spending like a half hour, hour on the phone with crying my eyes out. There's $150-$300. SHIT, I'd think. But that's one day, 30 min or an hour. As we know, deep heartache isn't over that fast. So then a few random chats/calls, at $30-$50 a pop. Then, maybe I have one or two other readers who I trust, not as much but more - and they are also on higher end, so $50-$100 once or twice over the month.

And I'd do like, mostly bitwine, maybe one or two keen calls, maybe a call to AV/Gaylene (who doesn't work for me, sadly), maybe an email with Kisha....

it just adds up, but it's never like, "Oh, I'm going to spend $500 today"

[sawthelight]

So true.  I'm lucky that I make a good living , as well...but I think back to all the money I spent on readings, and say to myself, was it worth it?  It wasn't...

That money could have been spent on much better things, or saved...

[peppie]

i've learned to be truthful about the reality of the situation. i'll go on a "bender" myself so I need to boobie trap my finances to protect myself from my self. Sad, but true. I pay all my bills the minute I get funds, cut up my credit cards with larger limits and spend all my money on bills and putting it into places I can't get to.

The sooner one faces the reality of what one can or cannot handle, the better. If one cannot admit one has a problem, one cannot find a solution.

[sunshineluv7]

It's true. I still pay all my bills. I just... don't get as far towards my financial goals as I'd like beyond the month to month. And grow some debt sometimes as opposed to using cash. Instead of some savings. If that makes sense.
Can't cut up cards becasue I do travel for work and sometimes have to put out several thousand dollars on business travel