When a reading makes you question everything

[mystery123]

Thank you your post has helped me put all of this in realistic terms more than you know. My POI does not have fast speech or use a big vocabulary. He is also not robotic, he actually displays quite a bit of emotion when we are physical together. I just thought maybe since he didn't communicate it towards me in words, it was a problem. The only time he's told me he's loved me (outloud through his voice) was when it slipped out during sex lol and he got really rude afterwards i don't know why maybe because he was embarrassed . And he'll only tell me his feelings in hidden ways like through a song he finds or other things that are more in writing like once in a great great while in text but it's abreviated or through a meme...  or hidden. That's just the way he is... he's called me beautiful and complimented me a lot in the beginning but that has kind of faded with time. It's like he now feels scared and doesn't want to be open up to me? not sure why. He's definitely got some emotional issues. He used to do things in a repetitive way a lot i noticed like the aspergers trait, such as copying my words or using the same phrases over and over, or copying other people's word choices um his way of conversing is jumbled and awkward in some of his text messages. I think he has ADHD. He might have a few similar traits to aspbergers but after watching some clips of sheldon from big bang theory, I would say in no way is he like that guy lol.. if anything he is most definitely ADD, and i know he has anxiety disorder because he told me. So what a relief. I was so close to confronting him about it and i'm glad i didn't because he would have thought i was obsessive and crazy. I'm still going to observe his behavior though just to be sure! hahaha

Sounds like my ex, all of what you say sounds like a behavior of someone who doesn't wanna commit, is either scared or just has a habit of taking people for granted after the initial honeymoon phase. Also, some guys are not that expressive either.
My ex is like that, initially he was suuppppperrrr sweet, would check on me all the time, and I guess after sometime as we got comfortable he just started taking me for granted or he thought I wanted more than he does and he didn't want to lead me on so he was hot and cold. Of course very loving and affectionate when going to bed. lol. Also, he was more left brained than right, hence not emotional or sensitive, big ego to share any issues..so as much as I loved him, I knew that was not for me. So, that's why he became an 'ex'ample of what I don't want in my life. 

Also, using the same phrase over (in normal frequency) or picking up your phrases, I would like to believe is very normal too, I do that too! I have a very permeable personality. I will pick up slangs, words, habits of people I spend too much time with. When I was in school my handwriting would change, the way I talk would change, my spending habits would change.. I would do that unconsciously, and I don't think it's a big deal. But obviously I don't know in what capacity you are saying repetition. Every other person has anxiety issues.

I have seen Yona sometimes gives examples, of what she is seeing and she will draw a parallel to explain and give you a better picture. So maybe ya just relating to her son.

Having said that, I would say if his behavior is bothering you, you can always talk to him- tell him you feel hurt, or what you expect and how you feel in the nicest and honest way, and just have a conversation. Because if he has aspergers you could blame it on the condition, but if that's his nature and it's not acceptable to you then it's best to know now than later.
I am just saying, obviously you know your situation best! All the best!!

[mystery123]

Wildfox, "giving it x many of months" is waiting.  Do yourself a big favor, love him with all your heart, bless him, ask for healing and live life.  Do not wait or give it a time frame.  Time is linear and man-made it is not of GOD or Universe or however you see the big guy.  This is where we, as humans, myself included, get hung up. 

Accept now that this is the best it will get, live your life, accept what he has to offer but remain open for your own "perceptions" to change.  If you open yourself up to the best life you can live now, you will see more of what it is that is right for you, it very well may be him!  It may not, but hanging on another 3 or 6 months is just that "hanging on."

Accept who he is, how he is, love him deeply, and live your life, this is all you can do, period.  Men do not process information like women do, their brains are wired differently.  We think, as women, if we just speak it out, talk it out, let them know blah blah "most" men do not process like this, they are literal ... talking football stats (linear) is more how they process than feelings.  This is not to say they do not have feelings, just they process differently.

I think I suggested this somewhere on here, but a great exercise to get a real handle on where YOU ARE is to write him a letter, i mean spell it all out ... what you would say if you could.  Then go back and change every "you" in that letter to "I" (in whatever tense it is) this will wake you up faster than anything you read or any psychic can tell you.

If you can point at another and call whatever they are doing out, like put it in words, than that very thing is IN YOU ... we are mirrors and reflect what is in us, good and bad, on others as they do us.  This single exercise was mind blowing for me and made me own up and take responsibility for my own suffering and waiting and all that stuff.  It clearly pointed out that what I was saying he was or was not doing I was doing ten fold.  In other words if you can identify something in another it is in you, because if it was not in you, you'd not be able to identify it in words.

You seem like a smart self-aware woman, do NOT compare to others that they are married, having kids etc, you are on your own path and you can create it any way you wish.  What another has does not in anyway reflect what you are "supposed" to be doing.

Be okay with exactly where you are and how you are because you are PERFECT in just that as we all are.  How this got distorted I have not idea ... meaning how we lose sight of our own greatness (no not ego, but the god/spirit within) and that we are exactly where we are supposed to be right now, I have no idea.  It is a moment to moment practice, for me, to pull back my thoughts and be right here right now.  Even if you can only do it for a second, it is a blissful second and you will remember that feeling and will begin to see the power in just being who, what and where you are now and being OKAY in that space.  It is a practice because the mind plays tricks on us. 

You have everything you need right now, having more or different does not mean you will be happier, it just means you will have more or different.  If you can learn to be okay with right this second, your entire life and perspective changes and wa la, what shows up is better than you can even imagine.  Ask me how I know this, hee hee, I have spent YEARS "waiting" or putting off my own happiness ... now I am old and find it much easier to be happy, satisfied, sad, angry whatever right in this moment because guess what, this moment will pass, then you have a clean slate to create what you want in the next moment.  What you think = what you create LITERALLY!

Well said! Great post!