Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Updates - How's everyone doing?
AngelGuided:
Thanks Moneta! I know your right on target, but I just wonder if he will be strong enough to make the change he needs to make. He had her pushing him to leave here when he left. Now, he's got her holding on extremely tightly. I know he's between a rock and hard place I won a very small battle yesterday. I've mentioned that she tries to dominate our conversations when he does call. Yesterday when we were discussing our daughter's financial aid and our taxes, about a minute or two into the discussion she started running her mouth in the background as usual. Couldn't make out exactly what she said, but I simply told my husband, this is our conversation between the two of us, there is no room for a 3rd wheel, if she starts trying to dominate our conversation, it's over! She yelled F YOU! He was quiet, he must've motioned to her because there was complete silence from her. We talked for about another 10-15 minutes, he was talking about filing for divorce and I told him that he couldn't file til the state requirements were met and he said I can file, I just can't finalize. I just said what's the point, you aren't divorced til it's finalized? This whole argument was stupid, so she started yelling over us, you can file for divorce, you just can't finalize! I simply hung the phone up. I use sly dial to access his voice mail directly when I only want to leave a message and don't want to ring his phone, so that's what I did. Left him a message stating that as I had mentioned I wasn't having a discussion with him if she was going to be in the middle of it. It was none of her business, we were discussing our daughter and our taxes, had nothing to do with her, same reason we had a closed court room on Monday to hear our case. The agreements and arrangements were between him and I. I told him I guess the only alternative would be for us to meet in person to discuss to prevent this issue (I'm sure that got her attention). Then our daughter called him and they argued. He called me back wanting to know why I told our daughter about it and for further info on financial aid. I explained that she heard the conversation and she was already upset with him over a couple other things that I had discussed with him the day before. Never heard a peep out of her! He wants me to file taxes with him, so of course he got through to her. About an hour later he called our daughter crying, pretty sure she wasn't around him when he called. I'm sure they had an argument over the way he handled our conversation and her not being able to dominate it. I'll use it as long as I can, it was quite effective!!!! She is trying so hard to validate their relationship and become #1 because she's so immature.
cm12345:
Angel Guided--I thought the same thing Moneta said about him breaking down...maybe he's starting to realize that he screwed up. Nothing new to report on this end...keep running into him and seeing and hearing his name wherever I go. Someone I talked to said it is the universe's way of letting me know I'm on the right path and I'm not meant to forget about him and that he encounters the same thing. That's a nice way of looking at it!!!
AngelGuided:
I hope so CM12345 and I'm sure you are!
positivethoughts:
Angel - It sounds like your husband is having a MAJOR breakdown. I hope this is the breakthrough you've been waiting for. I've been reading your updates and following along. Keep us posted. I know Michelle was wrong about the court date but has she been right about other things?
I've been hanging low. I've talked to SM once in 2 weeks and it was via email. He ignored me all weekend, not feeling great about all of this. I'm hanging tough and keeping the faith but it is getting me down. I put up some new pictures on dating site and I *think* I have a date on Wed PM with CEO. Supposedly over the next 2 weeks communication should increase and become consistent with SM.
I've been following along with everything. JB27 - I owe you an email. Sorry I'm not too chit-chatty. I get like this from time to time. Big hugs to all
PT
Sunshinegirl:
Hi everyone!
Gosh I feel for those of you that are in that 'holding' pattern. Waiting and waiting for it all to come together. Although I'm not in that space any longer, I certainly remember how you feel. I was in that same place for a little over a year with SM while we were dating before. It would be great and then he would pull away for weeks at a time. I was so confused that if it weren't for Tarot Lady and CP, I wouldn't have stuck with it or I would have done something really stupid and messed it all up.
We are now in a good place and we are talking about the future. He has uttered the L word once but it was a slip so we're working up to more. The CP's tell me that I will be getting a ring somewhere down the line but he's still working on his "issues" so it will not be real soon. I can wait so we'll see. :-)
You know one thing that I forgot about for you gals anyway, I bought and read the online book by Christian Carter called, Catch Him and Keep Him. I know, sounds silly but the guy had some awesome advice that has helped me to calm down and make good decisions. It's not for everyone but I HONESTLY think it has helped me to relax and get a handle on my situation in the past. Just a suggestion. :-*
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